My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

John's Birthday Suit

It's my birthdy! And by "my" I mean it's john (the hubby of Jen)'s birthay. Granted, I don't usually speak of myself in the third person (unless I'm in the midst of seduction [which, admittedly, rarely works (but John never knows unless he tries!)]) was I?

Oh, yeah: It's my birhday!

I originally wanted to write about those Canadian Nazi carrots you can buy at Epcot, but then I figured I'd just show you a bunch of misspelled cakes, so my own misspellings look international. Because I'm crazy like that. And giving. Yep, John's a giver.

[eyebrow waggle]

Look! A misspelling!

I believe it's spelled "Shirk." And since I did avoid seeing the last movie, this kind of works.

Isn't this called an oxymaroon?

Although if you roll the "r" while reading it out loud, you'll sound just like Sherk! Go on. Try it.

See what I mean? Now, all together: "Grrrreet job, don-kay!"

This one also seems a little contradictionary:

"Stop that right this second! Don't make me pull this event over!"

And since you long-time Wreckies know how fond I am of Earth Day cakes...

Listen! Do you smell Epcot?

And finally, this is not a cake, but I've gotta say...

...I pay way more for Jen's pasties.

Hm? What's this? Jen's telling me "pasties" are also British meat pies.

John thinks she's trying to tell him something. [eyebrow waggle]

John also would like to know why Jen rolls her eyes so much.

And now, because it's my brithday, I want to give you something special. Yes, that's right: John wants to give you something.


[Barry White music]

Awwww yeahhh. Mmmmmmm, baaaby. John knows what you want:

Cake Wrecks stuff!

So, leave me a comment, and I'll pick the sexiest two to win personalized copies of Cake Wrecks. (I'll even let Jen sign 'em.) The next sexiest two will win Cake Wrecks wall calendars.

In fact, because I'm such a giver, we're going to give stuff away every day this week, with even *more* give-aways on Facebook. Who loves me? Who is it? Oh yeah, it's you. Mmmhmmm. Happy briday to ME.

Check tomorrow's post for the winner's names, and also for your next chance to win stuff. Also watch the CW Facebook page this week for more chances to win exclusive CW pin packs and assorted goodies.

« Somebody Check Those Brownies... | Main | Prime Candidates »

Reader Comments (768)

Greet post, John. Yesterday was MY birthday! Vavavoooom!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAramis Troche

Good Morning Cake Wrecks!!
~Meg Summers

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeg Summers

Happy Birthday John!!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

mmmmmmmm. Pasties.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRon and Jessica

Happy Birthday! May it have many pasties :)

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNicholas

Happy birthday John!!
I'm glad you didn't shirk your responsibilities today - greet job! Don't you love the daisies on that one cake?

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Happy Birthday, John! Today is my dad's birthday as well. Now to find him a gift... Well, I guess cake always works!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Crazy One

Epi Burfday!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Happy Birthday John. I hope it's all cake, no wreck!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLuci

Lisa wood relly like a bok or a colander. Thnk you and Hippy Burfday.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa T.

Happy Birthday, John! Today is my dad's birthday as well. Now, off to find him a gift... Well, I guess cake always works!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Crazy One

Happy birthday to Jon (the giver-with pasties)!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

So this is totally how I just read the post..."blah, blah, blah...Free stuff!!"

Just kidding...I saw it was Shrek's birthday. :)

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDori

I love pasties! Happy Birthday John!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah McNair

"Grrreeet job don-kay!"

...You made me laugh out loud in a study-only computer lab. And yes, Cake Wrecks is relevant to my studies. It teeches me how to speall corecactly! =3

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDas

Happy Birthday John! Pasties and tea what a way to start a morning!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertina


I hope you have a super sexy birthday with many pasties in your direct view!!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSheils

Happy Biiiirrrrthday Mister Preeesssident... (deep shoulder action) Mmmmm...Pin-Up Pasties! Now THAT'S a birthday present!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelvira

Happy birthday, John! And today is my birthday, too.

Scorpios Rule! Or, would that be Scorpios Rool! today?

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHolkie

Rarrrr....pasties for only a dollar? Why stop at buying only two? Happy Birdday John!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergeekmommy

Happy birthday!!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan

Hey John!

Happy birthday! It must be a special event- I hear they only happen once every year!

Sara O.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Edible pasties sounds like a very marketable idea.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJasmin

Many years ago, my family was on a vacation in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. "Pasties" are popular there, and we saw one sign for a food place named "The Queen's Pasties." My brother and I nearly giggled ourselves to death for the rest of the trip.

(Pasties, by the way, are something like what we in Texas call empanadas. Unless you're in a strip club, where they're something different.)

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

In my best Marilyn voice "Happy Birthday Mr. Cake Wrecks....Happy Birthday to yoooouuu!"

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer C

P.S. Hippo Birdie two ewes, John.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Sexiest two comments? I'm not very good at sexy. Can I just tell you a funny joke?

A priest, a rabbi, and a duck walk into a bar and they all say "Ow."


November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStefcakes


November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOur Crazy Family

Hoppy Burfday John! I hope those pasties are edible...or at least easy enough to digest! -Your newest crazed fan, Katy.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

May you have a wonderful birthday and may Jen find pasties at the low low price of just $1!!! (Which would still kind of be in the realm of something for John...)*wink wink*

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

The happy ear day cake (combined with the general sexiness of the post) makes me think of the Family Guy episode where people are having ear sex.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Chapman

Whicakis. That's my word verification for this post. I originally had a much funnier comment planned, but what is funnier than whicakis?

(Say it like Sherk. Go on. See? Whiiiii cakis! It's hilarious).


Whaaaat, I'm talking about *small* *cakes*. Sheesh, wreckies!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJayKuz

Happy Birthday, John! Today is also my mom's birthday, my stepdad's birthday, AND my nephew's birthday! It's a busy day, today! Oh, and my stepdad's name is John.

Anyways, now my inner thoughts all sound like "Sherk". "DON-KAY!"

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Well I was going to leave a sexy comment, but the comment box absolutely refuses to wear fishnets and a thong . . . so I guess you'll have to settle for this, which isn't really sexy unless you count the fact that it includes the word sexy 3x and also the words fishnets and thong . . .

Yeah. Happy Birthday.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertogetherforgood

Happy birthday!

You really must try pasties if you haven't already. They're delicious. Vegetarian ones are best (and yes, I know how strange that sounds).

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJess

International misspellings are the best. Happy Burma.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Sarah

Happy Birthday John!!!! hope its a good one.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBethany

Hopi Brisday!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJason

Happy Birthday John!!

PS-what are the Epcot Canadian Nazi carrots??

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermegskathy

Wahoo! Free stuff! Happy b-day John :)

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterH to the N

Happy birthday, John! My "brithday" is on Friday, so it's a great week!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEva

Happy Birthday John!! Have a great day!!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShania

What can I say? By entering this contest I'm attempting to "cease the moment".

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Brandy's birthday is a week away. It's like John and Brandy are third-person-talking-separated-at-birth twins!! And Brandy is going to turn 40--she's very excited about that!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrandy

I have to stop reading these in the morning, it makes me hungry for cake! Even misspelled Scottish accented cake.

Happy Birthday!

And you know what is sexy?

Not pasties. In the British sense you may as well just go for haggis...

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllie

Happy Birthday! Just found your blog recently and have been hooked ever since!!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel H.

Okay, sorry about this but, being Irish, I have no understanding of 'pasties' beyond the meat-and-potato-pastry-thing. Would anyone care to explain? I feel I am missing out on the joke.
Oh, and Happy Birthday John!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRos

Happy Birthday! Its the start of my Birthday month...and yes I celebrate ALL month long!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Happy Birthday!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlaura

Happy Birthday! Just found your blog last week and have spent countless hours laughing ever since! Thanks!!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel H.

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