This Made Me Laugh 'Til I Cried
May 29, 2008 So I was putzin' around on google image search, looking at cakes, of course, when I stumbled across this picture:
Which, you know, made me kind of curious.
So I went to the originating site of the photo and read the corresponding blog post. It's written by Scott of Basic Instructions, which you should definitely check out sometime. Anyway, by the time I finished reading his post I was crying with laughter, and I knew I could not post his cake photo without the whole story attached. I e-mailed him and got his permission, and so without further ado, here it is:
"I had a day job as an office manager for the Seattle office of an international firm. We found out that one of our employees was transferring to one of our offices in China. When one of our people would leave, we usually had a little wing-ding with drinks and cake on the departing employee's last Thursday in the office, so on Tuesday it fell to me to fax a cake order into our nearest Costco Bakery.
I should point out that on that day I had a headache so bad that it hurt to move my eyes. Ordering the cake was the last thing I did before I went home sick for the afternoon. As I filled out the order form, I realized that in addition to the personalized message ("Good Luck in China," in this case) we could also get a large decoration for no extra charge. I looked at the options and none of them were appropriate. They were all things like teddy bears, balloons, or race cars. Crap, in other words. I figured if none of them were appropriate, I might as well get something that made no sense whatsoever.
I put a check mark next to the word "Fireman."
The next morning (Wednesday), lying in bed just before getting up, my mind wandered over the previous day and all the things I had accomplished. My eyes snapped open as I thought, "What did I do!? Why did I order a fireman? That makes no sense!!! I'm going to look like an idiot!"
I went to work, intent on calling the Costco as soon as they opened and stopping the cake before it started. I still had a day before I was supposed to pick it up. I figured that should be plenty of time. After some effort, I got hold of the bakery manager, only to be told that the cake had already been made. It was too late. I figured I'd just have to stand up straight and take it like a man.
My wife and I went to Costco to pick up the cake. When I got to the bakery, this is what was waiting for me.
(see above picture)
Making the hose flesh-toned had been a very bad move.
At first all I could do was blink at it and wonder, "Am I the only one who sees a giant wang?" I looked at my wife. She was blinking at the cake. An awkward silence and a few stammered sentences later we established that we both saw the same thing. A fireman holding an immense, dripping wang.
I could not serve this cake to my coworkers.
My first thought was that I would just absorb the cost of a second cake and pretend this never happened. Then I thought, "Wait a minute! This is not an erotic bakery! This is Costco! I should be able to order any stupid cake I want and be confident that it will not be sexually charged."
While at the checkout line I found a Costco employee to complain to, and showed him the cake. He blinked at it. I told him I was uncomfortable serving this cake at a place of business, and he started laughing and looking relieved.
Here’s what I came to realize about the cake. The obscene image was just obvious enough that you can't help but recognize it, but also obviously innocent enough that you don't want to say anything for fear that you're the only one who sees it.
Soon I was surrounded by several Costco employees who were looking at the cake and laughing. They explained that they had a new cake decorator who was a deeply religious woman from a foreign country, as if that explained everything. At one point while we were hammering out a settlement a woman happened by, caught a glimpse of the cake, covered her mouth and gasped. Good stuff."
Reader Comments (116)
Haha very nice cake. Made me crave some chocolate.
I also enjoy the subtle reference to the inappropriate film, "1 Night in China". That just makes it that much better.
The best part? If there is in fact a similar cake at CostCo, I can add babies to it (which I already have because I find them hilarious to place on random cakes) and make this cake myself...so funny!
I saw it immediately but quickly told myself to pull my mind out of the Gutter. Looks like I'm not alone. Hilarious stuff.
Everybody wang chung tonight?
I have not laughed until I cried for many moons. This literally made me spit coffee on my monitor. Thank you for starting my day off right!
whooo!!!!!!!!!seatttle!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY GOD. I started laughing so hard at this one I had to run to the toilet for fear I'd throw up. I don't think I've ever laughed that hard in my life. The point where he described his wife just looking at it and blinking.... I could just see it. Fantastic.
I can't believe that out of all these posts, nobody mentioned Chinese Water Torture! That was my first thought on reading "Good luck in China" and seeing water dripping. Which is weird, since really my mind is in the gutter...
Found your blog via those gawdawful belly cakes .. and I've been reading and enjoying for hours. This however takes the cake! Those who didn't find this UTTERLY HILARIOUS need a sense of humor transplant. The cake is worth a giggle ... yes, I saw the giant wang immediately ... the story is screamingly funny ... but the comments from everyone WITH a sense of humor literally sent me over the edge. Good Suck in China ... Everybody Wang Chung tonight ... BWAHAHAHAHAHA! It is a long time since I have had an uncontrollable fit of the giggles with tears streaming down my face. THE ... BEST ... WRECK ... EVER!
I got recommended to this site through a friend, and because I'm anal, I had to start at the beginning, and I saw the wang immediately (so glad I'm the only person in the office now). The story made it even better. Thank you for making an otherwise boring Friday afternoon golden.
I thought that was a bow too!!!! Right away I saw that!
My husband is a fireman and loves cake wrecks, cant wait to show him this one!
Bwahahahahah! First thing I saw was" Good Suck in China" Then the giant wang! Tried to figure what that meant and now it all makes sense.. ahahahahah
So, did the career of the guy who ordered the cake get "hosed"?
i though it said geed duck in china
I discovered your blog a few days ago and I think I have already read all your posts. Your books are on its way to my home (it might take them a while to arrive in Spain).
Your blog is great! The photos and your texts make me cry with laughter.
Congratulations (and please excuse my English, I make many more mistakes than some of the bakers we see around here!)