Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May292008

This Made Me Laugh 'Til I Cried

So I was putzin' around on google image search, looking at cakes, of course, when I stumbled across this picture:

Which, you know, made me kind of curious.

So I went to the originating site of the photo and read the corresponding blog post. It's written by Scott of Basic Instructions, which you should definitely check out sometime. Anyway, by the time I finished reading his post I was crying with laughter, and I knew I could not post his cake photo without the whole story attached. I e-mailed him and got his permission, and so without further ado, here it is:

"I had a day job as an office manager for the Seattle office of an international firm. We found out that one of our employees was transferring to one of our offices in China. When one of our people would leave, we usually had a little wing-ding with drinks and cake on the departing employee's last Thursday in the office, so on Tuesday it fell to me to fax a cake order into our nearest Costco Bakery.

I should point out that on that day I had a headache so bad that it hurt to move my eyes. Ordering the cake was the last thing I did before I went home sick for the afternoon. As I filled out the order form, I realized that in addition to the personalized message ("Good Luck in China," in this case) we could also get a large decoration for no extra charge. I looked at the options and none of them were appropriate. They were all things like teddy bears, balloons, or race cars. Crap, in other words. I figured if none of them were appropriate, I might as well get something that made no sense whatsoever.

I put a check mark next to the word "Fireman."

The next morning (Wednesday), lying in bed just before getting up, my mind wandered over the previous day and all the things I had accomplished. My eyes snapped open as I thought, "What did I do!? Why did I order a fireman? That makes no sense!!! I'm going to look like an idiot!"

I went to work, intent on calling the Costco as soon as they opened and stopping the cake before it started. I still had a day before I was supposed to pick it up. I figured that should be plenty of time. After some effort, I got hold of the bakery manager, only to be told that the cake had already been made. It was too late. I figured I'd just have to stand up straight and take it like a man.

My wife and I went to Costco to pick up the cake. When I got to the bakery, this is what was waiting for me.

(see above picture)

Making the hose flesh-toned had been a very bad move.

At first all I could do was blink at it and wonder, "Am I the only one who sees a giant wang?" I looked at my wife. She was blinking at the cake. An awkward silence and a few stammered sentences later we established that we both saw the same thing. A fireman holding an immense, dripping wang.

I could not serve this cake to my coworkers.

My first thought was that I would just absorb the cost of a second cake and pretend this never happened. Then I thought, "Wait a minute! This is not an erotic bakery! This is Costco! I should be able to order any stupid cake I want and be confident that it will not be sexually charged."

While at the checkout line I found a Costco employee to complain to, and showed him the cake. He blinked at it. I told him I was uncomfortable serving this cake at a place of business, and he started laughing and looking relieved.

Here’s what I came to realize about the cake. The obscene image was just obvious enough that you can't help but recognize it, but also obviously innocent enough that you don't want to say anything for fear that you're the only one who sees it.

Soon I was surrounded by several Costco employees who were looking at the cake and laughing. They explained that they had a new cake decorator who was a deeply religious woman from a foreign country, as if that explained everything. At one point while we were hammering out a settlement a woman happened by, caught a glimpse of the cake, covered her mouth and gasped. Good stuff."

« When Brides Have No Budget (Or Taste) | Main | Some Cakes Need No Commentary »

Reader Comments (124)

Haha very nice cake. Made me crave some chocolate.

December 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterED

I also enjoy the subtle reference to the inappropriate film, "1 Night in China". That just makes it that much better.

December 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

The best part? If there is in fact a similar cake at CostCo, I can add babies to it (which I already have because I find them hilarious to place on random cakes) and make this cake myself...so funny!

May 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I saw it immediately but quickly told myself to pull my mind out of the Gutter. Looks like I'm not alone. Hilarious stuff.

September 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

Everybody wang chung tonight?

January 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRen

I have not laughed until I cried for many moons. This literally made me spit coffee on my monitor. Thank you for starting my day off right!

January 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAretha

whooo!!!!!!!!!seatttle!!!!!!!!!!!!

March 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranotheranonymous

OH MY GOD. I started laughing so hard at this one I had to run to the toilet for fear I'd throw up. I don't think I've ever laughed that hard in my life. The point where he described his wife just looking at it and blinking.... I could just see it. Fantastic.

March 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBadgerpdx

I can't believe that out of all these posts, nobody mentioned Chinese Water Torture! That was my first thought on reading "Good luck in China" and seeing water dripping. Which is weird, since really my mind is in the gutter...

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFilbo

Found your blog via those gawdawful belly cakes .. and I've been reading and enjoying for hours. This however takes the cake! Those who didn't find this UTTERLY HILARIOUS need a sense of humor transplant. The cake is worth a giggle ... yes, I saw the giant wang immediately ... the story is screamingly funny ... but the comments from everyone WITH a sense of humor literally sent me over the edge. Good Suck in China ... Everybody Wang Chung tonight ... BWAHAHAHAHAHA! It is a long time since I have had an uncontrollable fit of the giggles with tears streaming down my face. THE ... BEST ... WRECK ... EVER!

June 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBev

I got recommended to this site through a friend, and because I'm anal, I had to start at the beginning, and I saw the wang immediately (so glad I'm the only person in the office now). The story made it even better. Thank you for making an otherwise boring Friday afternoon golden.

July 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBri

I thought that was a bow too!!!! Right away I saw that!
My husband is a fireman and loves cake wrecks, cant wait to show him this one!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

Bwahahahahah! First thing I saw was" Good Suck in China" Then the giant wang! Tried to figure what that meant and now it all makes sense.. ahahahahah

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCali

So, did the career of the guy who ordered the cake get "hosed"?

October 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

i though it said geed duck in china

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterhannahtlee

I discovered your blog a few days ago and I think I have already read all your posts. Your books are on its way to my home (it might take them a while to arrive in Spain).

Your blog is great! The photos and your texts make me cry with laughter.

Congratulations (and please excuse my English, I make many more mistakes than some of the bakers we see around here!)

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaría M.

I didn't see the wreck at first but I was scrolling through old posts and LOL'd

October 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTimeStopper

The cake alone made me laugh enough to hurt my face, but the story made me cry. Priceless!

January 24, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHillary

good luck in...where?

January 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAriel

Blinking flip mother! Why did I have to see this when my bf was trying to sleep? The resultant hysterical, uncontrollable laughter had to be stifled, causing weeping, snorting, wheezing, and abdominal pain. Help!

February 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDeeDee

At first I thought: Did this chick rip her lover's ding dong off to water her flowers? Wow!
Then I read the story: Hahaha! Hillarious!! :D

March 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNellaBelkaUK

So this post was accompanied with advertisements for "Dating Services in China." I thought that was as funny as the cake!

April 4, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSadie

So late last night, I was telling a friend all about this cake, because she saw a fireman hose that was quite suggestive. But first I had to tell her about Cake Wrecks, and it just mushroomed from there. See what a classic you are here?

April 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

OMG--I'm glad I'm NOT at work reading this! I would have been fired! This is so hilarious! I saw it coming, but when I read the "why" I nearly asphixiated from my throat closing up. I have never in the history of the web since the 90's laughed so long and hard at something. I read all the time and watch some videos on youTube but have never come close the the comedy I read here on your website. I'm not a cake decorator and after this I never would be! Thank you for such laughs. I got my aerobic exercise today from laughing.

April 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoanie

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>