My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Dirty-Minded Decorators

Aw, look at the sweet cake for Sarah-Maude's second birthday:

[squinting] Although, those balloons look a little odd, don't they? Let's take a closer look...

[eyes bulging] Great Scott! Hide the children!!

And I KNOW you see what I see, people, so don't even try to accuse me of having my mind in the gutter. It's the Fireman cake all over again.

Eric N., thank goodness this was for a safely oblivious 2-year-old. Still, given how obvious those balloons are, I'm pretty sure I'd steer clear of this bakery in the future. Unless it was for a bachelorette party, of course.

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Reader Comments (121)

Gosh, I don't remember much from my high school French, but I think that translates to "Happy Colorful Penis, Sarah-Maude."

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

I think it's the yellow one is the worst offender: the helmet is clearly defined!! Goodness gracious me!!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHelen

Umm, you forgot to mention the squiggly, little swimmers...

BTW, love your blog - I check it everyday!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Oh my. I get the red "balloon"!! Ha-ha!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhorriblelicenseplates

Those damn French! Always taking liberties, even with a child's cake!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

Ewwww! The kids may have been oblivious, but as an adult, how can you eat that? Or worse yet, feed it to the children? Wrong. It's just sick and wrong!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZitny Clan

OH, my.
Is there any follow-up on cakes like this? I'd really like to know what the decorator had to say for him/herself!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersciencegirl

It doesn't mean you mind isn't in the just means we're right there with you!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrrr

At first I thought that those balloons looked like chicken legs. Ummm, fried chicken legs on cake, interesting combination.

Then I saw what you saw!!! YIKES!!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDani

Holy cow!! Put me in the dirty minded category becuase I immediately saw man parts as soon as I looked at the cake. Egads!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Do I detect a PORN-STAR RIDGE? Those wacky French...

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

When I looked at the close up shot, I wonder what was in their minds when they drew the 'balloons'...hilarious nevertheless!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentern i l e e y

What kind of balloons look like that?!?
Why they're unnatural.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNosnin

Aacckk!!! Those black squiggles coming out as "string" don't help any either!! Yipes!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGracia Rae

What possessed the decorator to put the little extra "blobs" at the bottom of those balloons anyway!?! Balloons should be so easy, so long as they are round. Anything slightly oblong, with a long, squiggly string looks too much like male produced dna carriers to me. I know you all know what I'm talking about here too! ;-)

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkelli

Well, directly translated "Bonne Fete" means good festival. Maybe this isn't a toddler's birthday cake, but the second year of Sarah's joining a brothel.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeide

not sure should I laugh or cry?
for deffo my no1 so far.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Maybe the were celebrating the second year of her adult movie career?

What's wrong with a round balloon? Why couldn't they stick with a circle??

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkate

Hey wait a minute.... This multi-colored condom cake is for a two year old? Boy, those Latins get the party started waaaay early, don't they? Just joshin, y'all. Who wouldn't want phallic symbols plastering their two year olds cake. I mean, really... it's the only way to go.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

*pulls out her psychiatrist's couch* So...tell me about your mother, Mr. Cake Decorator. Any affinity toward cigars perhaps?
Apart from the fact that those balloons do NOT look like balloons, if you full view that second picture look at the consistency of the icing. It's LUMPY. Somehow the texture makes me recall the horrible STD video they showed us in high school.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

wow...they are like so PRECISE...what was the decorating thinking.?!?!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer That's

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFresh Peaches

Yeah... Ummmm....

Sarah, honey, would you like a piece with a blue "balloon" or an orange "balloon"?

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Thankfully I can't be offended because I don't read French! Je suis d'accord chercher les ballons très phallique.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElvira

I love the phallic balloons!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetry Sue

Excuse me, Europeans. I stand corrected. Ans, anos. you say potato...

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

There are just no words for that disaster...

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Wade's

Um, it's French, people! It comes with the territory!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenternycbride

Hmmm...well, they are celebrating the birth of a child. And really, from a natural, scientific point of view, balloons are a lot less relevant to that occasion. More relevant to a cake, perhaps...

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

I so want that cake!!!! I know call me nasty, but it would be so worth it to bust that out in front of my family and the in-laws to see their reaction ROFL!!!!!!!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

WOW! That's all I can say. Yes, I will admit to seeing EXACTLY what you saw.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterYoungblood4ever

*sheepish* I have to admit...I didn't get the problem with the fireman cake until I read the comments. But this one I understood...go figure.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterskatej

Oh my gosh.... I was laughing out loud at my desk.... WOW!!!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHenry's Mom

tre bonne eh? a cake with icing man parts and anus spelled wrong. Definitely for Sarahs second year in Porno Valley or on Webdreams.

even funnier...the word verification for my post is condom only misspelled...sheesh, my eyes are going, that's for sure.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHavocec

I think I'd have asked the baker, "why are there penises on my kid's cake?!"
Balloons my left hind foot! Gag.
~Amy B.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Great, another classic blunder!!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGallifrey

Hahaha! I submited the pictures and I'm glad that they got posted.

I forgot to mention that with all the colored frosting used on this cake, everybody that ated it also had a bonus surprise the day after. Colorful "poo" in the toilet.

And FYI, we are not frenchs from France but French-Canadians from the province of Quebec.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEric

MY 2-year-old announced, "Look, Mama! Violet violins on that cake! So many violins!"

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

There's nothing wrong with the French on the cake.

Decorated cakes at infant parties are solely for the benefit of the adults attending, as the kids are barely aware of anything but that someone's making a fuss over them. So, put all the naughty stuff you want on it! I'm not sure where to draw the line, though, some precocious kids would pick up on it much faster than others (for instance, *I* thought, "what ugly balloons"--and would never have guessed "dangly bits" if Jen hadn't showed the cake from another angle ^^;;).

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOphelia

Yeah, definitely for a bachelorette party, not a 2-year-old's birthday!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Is that you know what squirting out?!?


October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrochet by Momma J

Tres mal!!!


October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't know if anyone else noticed, but I thought your bold text on the word BALLoon was a nice touch!!!

And the squiggly swimmers that are "supposedly" balloon strings are just sick and wrong!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDavid and Taryn

ok so call me super defensive or something .. i do see it with the upside down blown up shot .. but i have to say my first thought was WOW they did a horrible job making hot air balloons .. the baskets are the same color as the balloons. Then the blown up shot came (no pun intended) and now thats ALL i can see.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer H

Actually I'm kind of fond of the penis-balloons on a two-year-old's cake. Might as well face the facts early, "If it weren't for one of these, you wouldn't be here kid!"

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

Sacre Dieu!!!!!

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterphillygirl64

People, do none of you have mothers-in-law who want grandbabies? This is no cake wreck - it was ordered to be just like this so the toddler's mother would understand it's time to get to work on baby #2.

I bet it's the last time they ask grandma to bring the birthday cake...

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermary

Took me a minute to figure out which end While I get the phallic thing...they just don't even look like a good representation of either balloons or eh-hem. Frankly it's just sad.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPersnickety Ticker

I will try not to take all those Frenchist comments personally...

Have to say it's an horrible cake, no matter if the text is French or English.

The thing that made me laugh is visualizing this poor Cake-Maker: I usually do more damage trying to fix things and I suppose it's the same thing for her/him:

"Well, now I have to draw those balloons... Woopsie, this one is not quite round! Well, it could be not-round balloons... I will fix the other ones so it'll look the same... Woopsie, I put to much icing on the bottom of this one... It's OK - I'll just add some lumps at the bottom of the other ones...

OMG, it looks like balloon-penises !
Wait, wait wait... I should add little strings so it look more Birthday-ish...

Damn! It just look like some on those balloons were to excited by this cake!

Oh, well. I hope the customer will pay for it anyways.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Nothing like a colorful group of "twig & berries" on a birthday cake. I especially like the orange ones who seems to have balls the size of oranges.
Love your blog.

October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBethany

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