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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


The Mutant Eyeball Decapitators are coming! The Mutant Eyeball Decapitators are coming!

Field Wreckporter Lydia A. reports that these insidious body-snatchers have abducted a bevy of ballroom dancers, and are currently terrorizing local bakeries' display cases. They carry the heads of their hapless victims and are often accompanied by disgusting black squid-like creatures, which has prompted at least one 8-year-old boy to declare them "way cool". Readers are encouraged to keep an eye out for these monstrous mini-menaces.

And by the by, these perfectly illustrate my #1 problem with doll cakes: synthetic hair in the frosting = me being reintroduced to breakfast the unpleasant way. Yech.

UPDATE: It's official: y'all are feeling the love for mutant eyeball cakes. Who knew? :)

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Reader Comments (139)

I was getting ready to head to the restroom, then I saw this post. Now I just need to find some new pants.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

on one level, I want to compliment the decorator for being original. On the other hand a) I agree about the synthetic hair and icing b)It is pretty gross!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Oh my! That eye ball! I think most children would cry if they got this.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhorriblelicenseplates

Clever premise for an otherwise tacky doll genre.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeide

I have to ask, is the eyeball edible?? The bright orange matches all the ads and do-dads on the website. Color co-ordination!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

You know, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye...

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterM K Glass

there are no words for this...

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSmall Shake

That was horrifying. I would like to see more photos to be able to better understand it... but then again, seeing more photos may just disturb me more...

I'll be glad when Halloween themed cakes are no longer in season... I'm to squeamish for this stuff.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lili Effect

Usually you can take my full concurrences to the bank, but this time I must diverge slightly. Ever the lover of Halloween, I think these mutant eyeball decapitator cakes are awesome. You just can't do any better in the imagination department. Plus, they are so anti-Barbie it makes me bust out in smiles. And so what if you get a little synthetic hair in your icing? I guarantee you, you've had worse organic tag-alongs at McDonald's.

Alixandra Hice

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

It's like something Spike would make in "Toy Story."

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I'm with Alix. I like these. If you must have a doll cake, this is the way to do it.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKansas girl

Not Spike. What's his name? Sid. That's what I meant. :)

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

If you think about it, this really ISN'T a wreck. Yes, it's hideous (but c'mon - it's Halloween, things are supposed to be hideous!), but, I see it as a metaphysical commentary on the evils of barbie doll cakes.

Plus, I've got three sons, and although I'm a very 'girly girl' we all HATE barbies in this house, so we think it's cool.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercreativekeys

oh no! i thought it was spun sugar for the hair, not synthetic. GROSS. Spun sugar would be a way cool way to simulate hair.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteralex awesome

Eye can't believe someone would buy this.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Okay - now they're doing it on purpose to get CakeWrecked!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterad

Doll-hair-in-the-icing aside, I've always been repulsed by the smell of plastic dolls. The thought of that horrid plastic-y/baby-vomit odour near something edible literally makes me dry wretch....

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterI love a bit of cake

This is PERFECT for my 12 year old twin boys - they would absolutely love it.

Much better than a "normal" doll cake, yuck.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

You know this baker probably is a little brother that used to pop the heads of his sister's Barbie dolls and has now made a career out of it.
I think what was most amusing to me is the one in the far back right...her head seems to have a sort of, "Oh dear, mercy me!" expression on it. Not true horror, just mildly worried that she's lost her head. (how will I ever kiss Ken like this?)

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

The Residents are back... and this time they're pissed! And in drag for some reason.

(actually, I really like these ones!)

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRev. Syung Myung Me

Am I supposed to eat that or is it ready to launch an attack on the earth to kill us all

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMella

I dunno, I think its pretty cool and original, and very appropiate for halloween.

Someone asked if the eyeball is edible, and I think it is. If you look carefully, it looks like the eyeball is a foil covered chocolate that I see all the time this time of year.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommentermooP

I disagree. This is a freaking awesome Halloween cake. I want one!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjaclyn

That is appalling. Definitely agree with you on the doll hair... not cool.

On the plus side, I think the eyeball is one of those Palmer's peanut butter filled ones, and those things are AMAZING. I'm addicted to them, they're the best part of Halloween. :)

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSerena

I find that oddly and disgustingly amusing.

Tho' I do have to agree with the synthetic hair bit.


October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ditch the doll head and nasty frosted hair (blech); otherwise, these are pretty hilarious! It reminds me of the year I made a cemetery cake for Halloween with cookie gravestones and a doll's hand coming up out of the earth a la Carrie. Wait, I need to find a photo of that... sounds like a wreck to me!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermrs. q.

Why the eyeball? How did an eye overtake Barbie? She couldn't fight off an armless, legless, defenseless eye ball?

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWhat's Her Face

Best doll-in-a-cake I've ever seen!

And I agree with Alixandra -- I guarantee that you have unknowingly eaten much wore things than a piece of plastic hair.

It rocks!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz C

When the page loaded the first thing I saw was that eye staring at me and I literally jumped and thought, "AHHHH!" I almost said it out loud even.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCheri

Blech! These look nasty.

At least when I do doll cakes for my friends' kids, I put the hair in a ponytail so that I avoid the whole hair in the frosting issue!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersarakate

Yikes! My son would run away screaming... who are they marketing these too?

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetry Sue

I think it's too funny! At least for an adult or older child. Take that you all too perfect Barbies!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Seeker
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJC

Better synthetic hair than real hair!

Angie (from over at

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither

i am definitely torn. they certainly are imaginative, but i don't think i'd like one looking back at me.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkerry

I love that the bakery apparently expects to sell many of these, as there are others just like it lined up in the background...

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRainbowEclipse

I have got to stop checking this site before breakfast. Ewwww.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Whose "Eye"dea was that? I was afraid of the Old Maid in a deck of cards. I'm pretty sure I would have had to be sedated if anyone presented me this as a child. Then again, boys may SEE things differently.


October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetikat

I kind of like them. Kooky good fun.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermary

Now that's just freaky!

I'm sure my 6 year old would love them though. ;-)

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPamperingBeki

Those would actually be cool cakes if they weren't holding those...hairballs.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBanana

What the hell is this?? These are wacky! I could not eat ANYTHING with hair in it, blech!


October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHyla Waldron

Small Shake: yes, yes there are words. There are the ones I uttered when opening this page: "What the...?!??"

However, I can see the anti-cheesy appeal of these little freakouts. I wondered if they were a reference to the Corpse Bride or some other such cultural phenomenon of which I was unaware.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Ick, ick, ick! Reminds me why I'm glad I live in a country that doesn't have Halloween.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthe rabbi's wife

i concur. hair, real or synthetic, anywhere near my food makes me be "reintroduced to breakfast the unpleasant way"

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna & Matt

WOW these cakes are so cool. They are alien eye creatures removing their masks... The one huge eye and the head in the dolls hands is just brilliant. After hearing me state this a co-worker made a comment of me being on the level of an 8 year old! Well most of us guys are...

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWoof

If you were to shave off the synthetic hair it would reduce the gag factor and increase the freak factor. Win-win.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMy Ice Cream Diary

The nieces and nevvies all agree, this is the coolest cake they've seen. I think children have a much higher tolerance, a love even, of the grotesque than adults.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCorey Wilde

I'm thinking it's kinda cool, and not a wreck. It's Halloween and an awesome way to show it.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJim and Garret

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