My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Circumstantial Evidence

 The World's Most Awesomely (In)Appropriate Cake For A Bris:


"It's a boy!"


 (And yes, this really WAS the cake for a bris. Would I lie to you?)


(Don't answer that.)



Oddly enough, there was also a post-ceremony cake on hand:

Haha! Just kidding. 


(The truth? You can't HANDLE the...handle.)



And now, Bonus (In)Appropriateness!

Who wants the first slice?!




Me: "Hey, do you know what a 'bris' is?" 

John: [pause] " it a girl thing?"

Me: "Nooo... It's pretty much the exact opposite of a girl thing."

John: "Oh. Is it a slice of meat?"

Me: "Wow. SO CLOSE."

Thanks to wreckporters Melissa, Laura O., & Ellie P. Now, hot dogs for everyone!


Update:  It looks like this post has recently attracted the attention of some anti-circumcision groups, so we're going to go ahead and turn the comments off. For the record, we don't think circumcision is funny - just like we don't think divorce, death, or breast cancer is funny - but that doesn't stop us from poking fun at a good wreck. As always, we certainly meant no offense to anyone, and if this post has caused any harm or bruised feelings, then we are truly sorry.

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Reader Comments (41)

That gives new meaning to, "please take a little off the top"!


April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

Gives a whole new meaning to the line, "come on baby, just the tip, just for a second."

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules ♂

The third cake is really cute - finally a baby featured on here that won't make me wake up screaming in the middle of the night - but I just have to wonder why the orderer thought the wording was a good idea :S The world may never know.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

(Sung to YMCA)

Cake Wrecks, where the odd cakes abound
I said Cake Wrecks, might knock you to the ground
I said Cake Wrecks, hope your stomach is sound
There’s no need to frost that badly

Cake Wrecks, it’s a place you can go
To see cake wrecks, I thought I’d let you know
You can click there, and I’m sure you will find
Awful cakes that will blow your mind

It’s fun to stare at the cake wrecks all day
It’s fun to stare at the cake wrecks all day
They are laughable cakes most of us will enjoy
(Some Canadians get annoyed)
It’s fun to stare at the cake wrecks all day
It’s fun to stare at the cake wrecks all day
Quite spontaneously, you’ll emit a high squeal
It’s bewilderment that you feel

Cake Wrecks, when you’re looking to see
Baked goods photos that might bring misery
Because some wrecks really will haunt your dreams
Fungal toe might be today’s theme

Not made by some demented elf
No, a baker put these wrecks on the shelf
Bakers wreck cakes nearly every which way
What did Jen and John post today?


Cake wrecks entertain and confuse
Guess their bakers were all hitting the booze
Making bris cakes isn’t really an art
It’s where good taste and good sense part

Cake Wrecks bakers someday might see
Just how messed up their creations can be
But until then, every morning I’ll check
I just need to see one more wreck.


April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I'm intrigued by John's second guess after the clue "exact opposite of a girl thing."
What was the thought process by which he came up with "a slice of meat" as the "exact opposite of a girl thing"?
Now I'm wondering what he'd say is the "exact opposite of a boy thing" but maybe I shouldn't go there.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Rabbi Tuckman would be proud.

Love the "actual conversation" bit.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Mohel comforts babe,
soothes with these words of wisdom:
"It won't be long now."

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

You are so funny :D

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterweaselby

I love it! The funny thing about it is that the person most traumatized by the bris is too young to enjoy the cake! How's that for some irony?

Special occasion
bit removal imminent
no cake for junior

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

@Haiku Joy: Oy vey. I know I say this about you a lot, but that was brilliant.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

No wonder that flower in the lower right of the first cake looks so, well, perky...

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHowlin Mad

Love your conversation with John! The cakes are, as usual, horrible. Thanks for sticking with the blog!

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Something tells me that anything that has to be actually sliced in person is probably not quite right for a bris.. but then again, cupcakes seem a little wrong, too.. especially if you're the kinda of person who takes the frosting off the top first...

i'm just sayin'..

and petit fours seem girlie, and pie, well there's that slicing thing again.. What the heck kind of sweets CAN you have?!

These are all actual thoughts and discussions I would have had if this had been a choice I had to make.

But then again, I also had a conversation about a cross cake for a christening party.... Someone wanted red velvet inside and that was just wrong, too.. so.. anyways.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterstaxia


Thanks! I can't take credit for the punchline - it's a more or less standard bris joke.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

...just the tip...

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteromnom

@Sharyn and Haiku joy LMAO XD XD As for the cakes, why aren't they in do you see what I see?

Also, robin hood men in tights, the rabbi who marries robin hood has a sign-circumsion, half off :D

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I didn't get the first cake until I saw the second cake!

Thanks Jen, you rock!

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

As the old joke goes... the Mohel said, "Well, the pay isn't much, but I get big tips...."

@Sharyn and Haiku Joy: to you a tip of the....ahhhh...ummmm....errrrr...let's just say Kudo's!!

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Heh. I'm with FM on this one. John(thoJ), how is a slice of meat the exact opposite....oh, wait...are you talking about sausage?

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I don't know, I think "a slice of meat" hits the nail on the head! John wins a...wait for it...cake!

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

These gave me a good giggle. In a completely immature way of which I'm not too proud. But maybe a little. ;-)

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

There's a really funny scene involving a mogen, a bunch of KKK rednecks, and the entire Seminole nation in "Porky's 2".

Which has very little to do with cakes, really. But does involve Brises.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Ha! Your conversation makes me want brisket. Or not.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDrL

Sharyn: Brilliant again! Now all we need is the video that shows us what hand gestures we make to your version of the song.

But any way you slice it, these cakes are awful!

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC


Perhaps popsicles?

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Bless your heart, you guys can even find humor in ritual child abuse.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercyno55

Y'know, outside the context of the post, that second cake is nothing special-- I mean, the shell border is eight kinds of messed-up and the color is bleeding running, but it's not a why-would-you-order-that or how-dare-they-charge-for-that. In context, though... I will never look at umbrella handles the same way again. Thanks, I guess?

Haiku Joy, you slay me.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Now I want a photograph of John when you revealed to him what a bris (In Hebrew it's actually called "brit" which sounds much more sharp. Um.) actually is.

I've been born and have spent my entire life in Israel, and I still haven't figured out why people - especially the masculine side of the family - actually *celebrate* this thing. Or how the mothers actually allow it.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSkeptic

We know a family that always serves Vienna sausages at the bris. One brother has 3 sons. Maybe they should have had one of these cakes, too.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlexa

I have to say, my first thought was that it wasn't the pram's um, 'handle', given the colour was pretty close to flesh toned! (Apparently, my mind is in the gutter today)

Loved the post. And Jen & John's dialogue that went with the post. And I notice that the commentators are in fine form today! Laughed at Sharyn's song (yes, I too want to know the hand gestures! And I liked how you got the Canadian & toe references in there too :D ). And Joy's Haiku and mel's quip. And (after giggling) I agree that popsicles (or cake pops?) would be the most appropriate nibbly for a bris. Or a cake in the shape of a wine soaked shmatte...

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

Hey!Those carriages look like PAC MAN!!!

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmily E

Well, at least they spelled "circumcision" right! Anyway, WOW. I guess it's a rite of passage and a thing to celebrate, but perhaps not with cake.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjubilantia

I'm sitting all alone giggling my head off, ( oh my goodness, just realized what I did there...) so thanks for making me feel silly Jen, Sharyn & HaikuJoy!
This post brings to mind an old (terrible) joke. Forgive me, but I'm going to share it!
Q. What do you call that useless piece of skin on the end of a penis?
A. A man.
(Am I allowed to use the word "penis" here?)

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Thanks you! After such a long week learning a new Cake Wrecks theme song is exactly how I want to spend my weekend.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary B

Tangentially related: several years ago someone did a parody ad for a new Kosher cell-phone (don't laugh. There are odder things for strict sabbath observation). It was a variation of the Razer called . . . yup: the Bris.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTXRed

Ah, so THAT'S what it means when you hear the phrase "The cut diwrecked." (Because there were 2 pram cakes... Rimshot. And don't forget to tip your waitress. Um, or not.)

@TLC and Aliza: I think you alternate between pointing with laughter and cowering behind both hands, peering through your fingers. But I'm open to suggestions.

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Dang now me little brain's buzzing and trying to think of a civil defense tune for the pro-wreckerators out there to the tune of "In the Navy" (In the bakery ...) Actually, the first tune that came to mind was "Fondant, Fondant Man ..." (Buttercream was rejected because it didn't scan right)

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Seriously, the "conversation" almost killed me! But are those really not meant to be buggy handles? Dang, even THAT sounds bad!

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJocelyn

Sharyn, that song is fantastic! I'm going to copy paste it to Facebook, will give you credit. Nice going! :)

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Y'see I saw the title - and I KNEW what this was about. Then I thought " nah, couldn't be" and then I scrolled down.... oh dear

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterspel chek

@zoomom that was the icing on the cake! all I could think of (which may not make it past the censors*) was "sliced off meat" so I think John was very, very close.

@Sharyn do you take requests? this seems so easy for you I thought we could compile a list of songs that deserved to be wrecked and dole them out randomly to you- J&J(thoj) could end the post with "S: (insert song name here)." [evil smile] Yeah, I'd like to nominate Eminem's "Lose Yourself." Hey, it's got a good rhythm!

*and very deservedly so as I think that's a little too much

April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne
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