My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Painted Cake Cometh

This cake is absolutely stunning - kind of like a sharp blow to the head. I know that I was forced to stare in stunned silence for a moment when I first saw it: the thought of eating that much Pepto-colored paint put me in cerebral lock down.

Still, if ever a herd of curly teal amoebas were to migrate across a shockingly pink desert, I imagine it would look something like this. (They even sent the little ones on ahead, see?) And I'm sure it can't be easy to get something edible to look so glossily non-edible, so props where they're due and all that.

But the plastic grad caps - why? No, seriously, for the love of all things cakey, why?

And I'm not going to even mention the spacing, except to say that someone should be staying after class again.

Hey, while your retinas are still smarting, check this action out:

Now, I don't know if it's because orange is my favorite color, or because those giant pillow-y swirls look so softly smooshable, but all I can think about when I look at this is how much I'd like to attack this bad boy face-first, T-Rex style. RawrMmmmmmmm.

Yep, nothing brings out the carnivore in me quite like sugary baked goods. (Oh, wait...)

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Reader Comments (85)

the teal "amoebas" struck me as looking as if their bodies were partially underwater. you know how you might draw some monster with portions of tail appearing? haha... very hilarious!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLibba Roberts

With the pink cake, it is amazing to me that someone with such lovely handwriting (with icing none the less!)couldn't make simple flowers or figure out spacing!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jamie Glass? Wasn't that Jan's imaginary boyfriend on the Brady Bunch?

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

Hmmm..pepto bismol and cheeto dust. Big yum. ;)

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteryokaye

now what could you possibly have agains pepto pink and green turds ... LOL ack. sorry the orange is not much better in my book~

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura ~Peach~

Perhaps you've got an unresolved childhood memory of Creamsicles, Jen... :)

What I love about that cake is the orange dusting over the word space (I dare not call it a ribbon) - to 'tie it in'.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwordalchemy

Is color blindness a prerequisite of being a "professional cake decorator"?

What the h*ll are these people thinking?

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

That orange color reminds me of Tang! Looks like they sprinkled it all over the top!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKraftyKerilou

Hilarious!!! Love your blog!!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSometimes Sophia

The color on both of those cakes made me want to vomit. Pepto never sat well on me...

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterskatej

suddenly Desperately Seeking Susan has found her mate with that lovely pink cake.

The orange cake looks like it has a creamy vanilla inside--like a misfit in the twinkie factory.

(I'd eat it too)

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCRUSTYBEEF

Wait a minute, Kathryn and Jamie can't help that the school colors of their alma mater (von Rosenhof High - home of the fighting amoebas!) is pepto and teal. Very unfortunate.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Are bright pink and teal the school colors? I guess Kathryn and Jamie were the 2006 valedictorian and salutorian at Hair Designs by Mr. H. Beauty College.

BTW, weren't far off. That herd of curly, teal amoebas were actually migrating across a shockingly pink "dessert".

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

The first cake was surprisingly not bad on the eyes...aside from the gross pink.

The second one actually hurt to look at. No lie.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG! The orange cake hurts my eyes. Is that Kool-aid sprinkled on top?

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjaxx79

At least the first cake isn't all monochromatic.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

I wonder if they took a bottle of Pepto in to the decorator and asked them to match the color kinda like they do with paint at HomeDepot...hmm.

That orange is blinding! (but it does look yummy!)

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

Wow! Imagine what that cake might look like under black lights - it might just glow brighter! LOL!

It's so sad that the spacing is so bad because writing is pretty decent.

This cake, and your whole site for that matter, begs to have a new show developed, "Unsolved Cake Mysteries."

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkdbasher

Makes me wonder more about the actual decorators of these cakewrecks. Do they really think those are nice cakes? I mean, do they take pride in their work?

Because I would have to cover my face in shame if they were my cakes. You'd find me cowering in the corner!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer Foster

First thing I thought upon seeing the pepto puke cake- "Blinded by the Light!"
The second one is actually pretty compared to the pepto one.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercraftygeekmama

OMG! I can't stand pink and green together. But this cake reminds me of a line from Steel Magnolias where M'lynn says about Shelby's wedding decor, that it looks like someone threw up Pepto Bismol all over the church.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterIrishgirl

The orange cake oddly reminds me of peeps LOL

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnne Marie

Glass of 2006?

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

I thought the first cake said "Glass of 2006." I think that the decorator could benefit from a remedial cursive-writing class.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I want to poke my fingers in the swirly orange thingys. Mmmm.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChaucer's Bitch

The colours on that first cake... my retinas are still burning!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJuliet

Since recently discovering your blog, I have come to the opinion that whoever said "A little knoweledge is a dangerous thing" was ooh so right. Cake decorating equipment in the hands of the wrong people is the culinary equivalent of loose nukes. That top one, the pepto-teal thing...I'm torn between wanting to know and not wanting to...but what kind of cake (color) is underneath that?

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah Godin

What is sprinkled all over the orange cake?? Makes it hard to read! And they probably should of hand written the text to not only avoid Happy Birthday becoming one word, but make sure people know it's Dale's birthday, not Dall's.

The pink cake just makes me want to vomit. Just. . . *shudders*

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAppsNChaps

Ow. Ow ow ow!!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

How very, umm, Miami Vice.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterk-bro

Congratulations Kathryn and Jamie Glass!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkate

I already thought you were awesome because of this blog, but now I learn that your favorite color is orange? Mine is too, and I share you T-Rex-y inclinations towards that cake. You have surpassed all expectations.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertiny-little-dot

My Eyes! My Eyes! I think i'm blind now.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaire

I just found this blog and I am LMAO in my office!

It is a shame that 2 obviously talented people are so frigging color blind.

Is Pepto the new black?

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessicalovescake

I'm not saying these cakes are magnificent, but I don't think I'd called them "wrecks" exactly. Maybe just not up to par. I don't think the color choices are THAT deplorable - I mean, I kind of "get" them.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

My eyes! My eyes!!!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrochet by Momma J

Okay, the first cake is gawd-awful ugly, actual Alma Mater (Sweet Briar College) is pink and green all the way. And probably most of us would not have a cake that was quite that...colorful, we might get a cake that is pink and green. Hopefully, white with pink and green accents.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

My eyes...they burn!
Somehow though this reminded me of your technicolor poo discussion. I'm wondering if the pink or the green would win in

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Those teal things look like something I would make, in an attempt to fill the empty space in a reasonably decorative manner, if I was bored with traditional flowers and things, and wanted to try a different shape. And that is why I don't decorate cakes.

(The only cake I make routinely is angel food from a box, and it doesn't last long enough to get icing of any kind put on it.)

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKansas girl

I don't think our bodies should ingest such bright colors.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

lol & some more lol!!!! I started to cry from laughing so hard. Thanks for the laugh, I soooo needed it.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersues2u2

Jan's "boyfriend" (note correct use of quotations! I'm already a better decorator than some of the pros who created these lovely confections!) was George Glass. I'm kind of sad that I know that.

I would gobble all of that yucky colored orange frosting right up! Butter cream frosting is good!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDebby

I love your blog! :)

Orange is my favorite color, too, but it's a hot mess on that cake. If the cake was a different color, it would look yummier.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersunshyne

It's the orange cake had an air brush explosion with all those freckly things on the top. How bizarre! But yet, the writing is also orange which leads me to think it was actual orange icing & not air brushing... perhaps a combination. Either way... so so frighteningly bright.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

In fairness (to who? The cake maker? I don't know), my mother used to make luminous cakes much like these - not professionally, mind.

She was of the belief that more colours were a very good thing, and so cakes often had blue sponge, green icing and red piping...

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDessie

UGGGGHHH looking at those giant globs of icing make me nearly go in to a sugar enduced coma. Did they take the tip off of the bag on that one or what?!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwhywouldyouknitthat

Wonder what color the poo shall be after these bad boys.....DOH!

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

Before Hurricane Andrew in 1992, it was the law in Florida that all buildings had to be painted the colors of that first cake.

Maybe their school is PAINTED those colors.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Cheetos flavored Cake...that is all I can say

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentereley

Honestly, I don't think the first cake would look so bad if that pink color wasn't associated with Pepto Bismol. When I bit into it I would be expecting to taste Pepto, which is just gross. But if it weren't for that it would be cute.

The second one... GRAAH.

September 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

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