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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jan142009

Introducing a Good Sport

A select few of you have virtually met Anne-Marie, my Wrecksistant-Extraordinaire. Since I technically still have a "day job", she helps me and John with comment moderation and handles the bulk of the e-mailed submissions, in addition to having a full-time job of her own. Anne-Marie is one of those rare individuals who is hysterically funny both in writing AND in person, which I know first-hand 'cuz she's also my sister-in-law. (Yeah, I'm lucky like that.)

I realized recently that I was greatly under utilizing Anne-Marie's powers for good when she reduced me to helpless giggles with an e-mail extolling the virtues of actually turning the oven ON when cooking a Christmas ham. It was then that I knew hers was a talent that must be shared. So, without further ado, I give you: Anne-Marie! Take it, Ree!

With the college football Bowl Championship Series behind us, and the Super Bowl looming ahead, the nation's bakeries are hard at work, providing us with an overabundance of sporty buttercreaminess.

Clancy R. shows us what happens when bakers with too much time on their hands play a game of Wreckerator Pictionary...

Sheldon: "It's a Dutch Oven!"

Walter: "No, you guys... wait, lemme write something on it..."

The other team: "Whoa! You can't write anything - just draw!"

Walter: "Too late... any guesses?"

Sheldon: "Uhh, a Dutch Oven full of sugar?"

Walter: [facepalm]

Amy G. found this gem:

Quick!

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the Oklahoma
Sooners?

Time's up!

How many of you thought of a disembodied torso in a full-coverage 42 DD Playtex Eighteen-Hour Bra?

Nobody?

And finally, the Steelers were playing the day this was made, hence the black and yellow:


It is supposed to be read as “Go D-fence” (as in ‘go defense’ – see the little fence after it?), but to me and alert Wreckporter Noelle C, it says only one thing:

The Almighty is a Steelers fan.


Many thanks to Anne-Marie for pulling up the slack in the sports arena here on Wrecks. (Yep, she actually had to
tell me it was football season.) Y'all be nice to her, now, or else your e-mails just may never see the light of day.

(Just kidding.)

(No, I'm not.)

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Reader Comments (137)

I thought it said Yo D

then I saw it was a G.

awesome.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercarebear8six

RE: Sooners cake:
OU shouldn't have!
OU had better fix this!
OU are SO not getting paid for this wreck!
OU had better go back to cake decorating school!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBreath of Insanity

Classically Wrecktastic!!! I love 'em!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMindy

Living as I do in football-obsessed Norman, Oklahoma. I can tell you that there are plenty of OU fans who would not at all mind the full-coverage or the lack of brain. But will gladly drool over any girl with 42DD who also loves football.

How sad that these horribly common inverted priorities have now been immortalized in sugar.

At least it's been a little redeemed by making it on the blog. It certainly qualifies!!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Oh, how I loved Godfence. Saw it fourteen times.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

It's INSPIRED!!!
Truly!!!
Here's the idea: I get me one of those TORSO cakes, see?
Then, I cook up a batch of seafood appetizers, throw some beachy-type decorations around (empty beer cans, etc.), invite some people over, and ((Ta-DAHHHH!!!)):
JAWS movies marathon!!!
Oh, yeah--the best part: I take a handful of cooked white rice and toss it on the torso cake--for effect--and add a seaweed salad.
Roll 'em!

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

ok so I was thinking maybe the person with the OU cake was thinking sooner closer to a nooner??? ok maybe not.... I personally was trying to figure out the Star Wars thing with the fence. Then I read it and was like huh? Reread it. Nope still saw Yod and a fence. hmmmm If Jenn and Anne-Marie says it says God then I am ok with it.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersweettc

These sports cakes are amazing!!

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSG

re: God is a Steelers fan


What's the wreck there...? I'm most certain that He is!

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRay-Ray

Before today I never would have associated the Sooners with a disembodied torso...

But now...

I might have trouble remember they play football.

Moose Nuggets

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMoose Nuggets

Didn't get "go d-fence" at all until you explained it. Also, the torso cake reminds me of an episode of Star Trek where Data is dreaming of cutting up a cake of Counselor Troi. Oh, God, I'm a nerd.
:)

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought the "sugar bowl" was kind of cute. But I'm not a sports fan.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter=Tamar

G-d is a Steelers fan, however that would be the Sheffield steelers ice hockey team.
go Steelers go!

conf code
sitases : most sports fans :)

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermotherkat

You know? I have to realign my brain cells when I come to this AB-FAB site. It takes above-average (waaaay above, sometimes) thinking to distinguish what my eyes are seeing here. This has become my favorite blog EVER! Kudos to everyone! And btw, what's a God Fence? Har!

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentereilbeback

C Beth, You win "Comment of the Day" in my opinion---tooooo funny.

And BTW, for that other commenter, those are not nipple rings (ewwww....I hate even typing that), the (ahem) breast "decorations" are the OU logo for Oklahoma University ---or University of Oklahoma...? Don't know, and don't really care, since THEY LOST bwaahahahahahaha! to Florida.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterheartafire

Laughed out loud for like ten minutes about this. Thanks Anne-Marie, that was hilarious.

And, no the Almighty is NOT a Steelers fan.... :)

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterT.

Yes, OU is for University of Oklahoma.(my state) I thought MAYBE it was a swimsuit b/c they went to Florida, you know, where its sunny?! Im a die-hard Oklahoma State fan, so it really didn't upset me that OU lost. Oh well. That was pretty disgusting and since I know a lot of die hard OU fans, I doubt any one of them would buy that cake. Well, maybe there are one or two, but ewww, GROSS

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeckster

Ah aha ha ha! You crack me up!

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJess T

Chances are if you have to label something on a design then you've failed to execute it properly. >_>

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJackie

"Boomer Sooner"? Looks like "Boober Sooner to me.

As for the Steelers cake, I thought the thing on the end was something being built by a beaver. The message I see is "God dam", as in, "God damn, the Steelers got in the playoffs again." ;-)I'm from Cincinnati

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohnnyB

FABULOUS!!! I laughed out loud!!! Loved the sugar bowl commentary!!! :D

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDea

YoD gate?

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterUrbane Legend

That was awesome. Anne-Marie should be a regularly featured contributor.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDoug

Hee-LARious! I'm still chuckling over the cake decorator's Pictionary....great stuff! :)

WV: blogeye, Hawkeye's nerdy cousin.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlatte_grande

god is a giant cookie!!!!
vw is sqearyl squirrel(ly) like those cakes!

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpunxxi

@ JohnnyB - "Boober Sooner"?!?!?! I almost fell off my chair! LOL!!!

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCassi

EEEEEEEWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSport's Mom

I totally got the Go D# thing but only because we all know God is really a Ravens fan....

ducking and running

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMairs

my ds just informed me that for his birthday cake he wants the first one (what can i say? he's 5! and anything with a football is good to him)

wv: nyptein....i've already told you nyptein times!!!

January 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbecka

I thought it was something about G-d.

January 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJane Hautanen

A dear friend of mine passed away this week who was crazy for the Steelers. Somewhere he is laughing, and he would absolutely agree that "the Almighty is a Steelers fan."

January 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

God must be a Steelers fan they are going to the superbowl LOL

January 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OU: The University OF Oklahoma, a top 25-rated US public university
Nobody calls it Oklahoma University.

Sooners: The mascot of OU and a term from the landrush (I am not going to tell you anymore, study some freaking American history.)

Boomer Sooner: Our fight call
Making fun of it only shows your ignorance as to how a huge portion of the middle of the country was settled.

Our cakes: Really none of your business
I notice you don't seem to post "messed up" college cakes unless they're from a place you rule as nowhere important.

- An OU Honors College student

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand - some of us who went to OU actually retained a sense of humor. BTW, previous anonymous, "Sooners" is the name of the teams, not the mascot. The mascot, at least when I was there, was a dinky little nameless covered wagon, though there seemed to be a move to replace it with a football helmet with feet. And yes, the interlocking O and U is the official logo. Way back when, the admin tried to replace it with a white ("cream") U superimposed over the bottom half of a red ("crimson") O, or maybe it was the other way around. It was fantastically fugly and was promptly dubbed "The Toilet Seat Logo." That was the end of that.

The bra looks my size, but the only piece of OU gear I bought in my six years there was three enormous scratch 'n' sniff banana T-shirts on clearance at the bookstore.

P.S. To this day no one knows why "University of Oklahoma" is abbreviated "OU". Well, maybe the guys with the bazookas (I have thankfully forgotten what they call themselves), revealed to new recruits at the dead of night by the Duck Pond after the final hazing.

still another Anne

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

PPS: "Boomer Sooner" is the OU fight song, which goes to the tune of "Oola Boola" and consists of the words Boomer Sooner repeated until someone conks you on the head.

Anne again. It's way past my bedtime.

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Woah Anne Marie thought u was Jen it was so cool;0

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Revisiting Wrecks
left without their own haiku:
My small epitaphs.

If not me, who will
confess in verse a meat cake's
sweet gristle temptation?

Find them, scattered round
the twisted tear-stained receipts.
Professional? Whoa.

February 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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