I would like to state for the record that I grew up around a bunch of rednecks, and I have nothing but affection for that Nascar-loving, deer-hunting, Coors-ball-cap-wearing crowd. That said, I'm pretty sure they should never be allowed to plan their own weddings.
And finally, Exhibit E:
I'm actually a bit disappointed that I couldn't find a Nascar-themed wedding cake. Anyone have one to send me? C'mon: it'll be therapeutic!
Thanks to Chris M., Melody H., Jacy D., and both Anony M.s for their expert Wreckporting!