My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Well, the word "holy" DID come to mind...

Ok, sure: this first communion cake is atrocious. (Is the dove molting? And why are there more choking hazards on this - something a child is supposed to eat - than in your average Lego set?)

Still, you have to admire the wreckerator's tenacity in scrawling the inscription right over the plastic flotsam. That, my friends, is commitment! No namby-pamby dashes, squished text, or downward spirals here, no sir! This baker does not deviate, does not falter! S/he trudges onward even in the face of crippling ridicule, turning a deaf ear to nay-sayers, a blind eye to the warning signs of impending disaster, a numb hand to the piping bag, a stuffed-up nose to the smell of burning batter, and an insensate tongue to the bitter dregs of defeat!!

[sits back down]

Ok, so maybe I was reaching a little with that metaphor. I thought I was doing well until the "burning batter" bit, though. [taps teeth with pen] Huh.

Still, I think we can all learn something here. Something about perseverance, something about throwing caution to the wind, something about...oh, I dunno... picking the cake up more than 30 minutes before the party starts? [nodding] Yeah, that, too.

Note: Since I get asked a lot, many of you will no doubt be relieved to learn that Wreckporter Holly later received a full refund. You'll remember that more-than-30-minutes-beforehand thing next time, right, Holly? :)

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Reader Comments (83)

she wrote it over the plastic? seriously?

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterme

I was going to say that it looked like Julia herself did the inscription, but most seven or eight-year-olds can write better than that.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

Jesus wept.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What's a pen? I get that it has something to do with what you typed. Is it some kind of new data input device, like an ultra ergonomic keyboard? Or is one of those old-timey things you sometimes talk about, like the rotary clock thingy? I swear, sometimes it’s like you codgers are speaking another language.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter1101001

Somebody's going to hell for this one.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKerri

Are you aware that you have a scientology add under this cake wreak? It would be funny if I didn't think that scientology is one of the worst cult and destrying lives in the name of profit. I understand that you probably do not have any input on what kind of add is put in your blog but I would look into that.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRhea

It appears that the dove exploded out of sheer joy. Sigh. If only we could all die that happy.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBaking and Mistaking

I'm going to assume the wreckorator is not Catholic, nor are they familiar with catholicism in any way. It would explain why the rosary was balled up in a corner though. Almost any other arrangement of the flotsam would have allowed room for the "Congratulations Julia" (hey! at least it was spelled correctly!)

And Laura Beth, the dove is a symbol of the Holy Spirit and it ties into the consecration of the host.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFeisty Irish Wench

Why is the rosary scrunched? and what is coming out of the communion cup? and where is the bible flying to? so many unanswered questions.......

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa Gill

The edging is nice. Are the things in the left hand corner supposed to be grapes???

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Not to mention the horror of slapping a rosary into pee yellow frosting. Ack!

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterELISABETH

Well, on the good side, She did get things assosiated with religion on the cake - chalis, rosary, bible, wafer...

But what in the holy name of Jesus were they thinking??? The dove shouldn't be crapping a wafer into the chalis!

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Holy Crap?

Angie (from over at

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

It would be a nice cake except for:
1. The feathers or whatever around the dove.

2. The huge-bigger than the dove- communion wafer

3. The text written over the plastic

Annnnddd...what appears to be a lopsided cake. Does the upper right corner look just a tad lower than the rest?
(Peering at screen)
Yes. I think it is.

~Amy B.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Is that a rosary or those fish eggs you get on the top of sushi?

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

Ummmm. Wow. I've never seen writing quite that bad on a cake. Or quite so many plastic items.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

AT least the cake has God on its side.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

...Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us (like this wreckorator).

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeacher of the Year

OH my! I'm laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes. All I can think about is how much my grandmother would LOVE that cake! HAHAHAHAHA

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDouble A Training

I am so glad that the previous commenters cleared up that the pile of round balls in the upper left corner is a rosary... I was really beginning to wonder. Maybe has to do with the shear loudness of the cake.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I can imagine the phone call to the bakery . . ."yeah, we got all kinds of religious pieces we can decorate the cake with, rosaries, bibles, you name it we've probably got it and what we don't have we'll just make with icing. Don't worry, it will be less 'congratulatory' and more religious we promise."

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBibi

At least they spelled congratulations properly!

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRobynNewt

The roses are pretty...

I can't remember if I had a First Communion cake, but if I had had this one I know I would have remembered it!

After looking at this cake I feel like I need to go back to teaching at that Catholic school to expiate my sins. And to pray for the same for the last minute addition of poor penmanship in horrid green icing across the body and blood of Christ.
No, wait, scratch that. The chalice is plastic. I'll just stay out of lightning's way for the rest of the day and call it even. ;)

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

I have to admit - whenever I feel tempted to eat cake, I just take a gander to your site to see what the latest cake wreck is ... HEY! You should create the Cake Wrecks Diet! :) You could make a ton of money! I should know - I'm approaching 100 lbs lost! lol

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMommaKnitsalot

I know that bird! He sits over my car just after I've washed it! Looks like he's up to his old antics...

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

HaHa. I can only laugh at the fact they wrote over the sacramental gourd.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersolvency ii

My first thought was, 'Where did they get that tiny Bible from?' My second thought was, 'Are Communion wafers usually plastic coated?'

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJ. Applebee

That's nothing but a mess...jeez. I wouldn't have paid for that, instead I would have gotten a plain frosted cake and done the inscription myself. It would have looked better at least...

Colleen (

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyberrblue (Colleen)

Did the dove leave a present up in the left corner?

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterToriisen

I actually thought it was the wreckerator trying to be clever by putting the "t" in congratulations as a cross on the chalice. I mean, it seems sorta tacky to me, but I'm Jewish, so I have no idea what would be tacky in a communion cake. Turns out that tacky is as tacky does, and religion doesn't enter into it...

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermotherzucker

they really should have rethought the placement of the dove. as of now it looks as if it's shaking of the water from a recent bath. the bird bath of course being right below it.

that's just awkward.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermustdestroyalltraces

I was raised Catholic (but it did not stick. I sure did not get a cake for my First Communion, which was probably a good thing judging by this cake. I had to do a second look at the Rosary as it sure looks like a pile of fish eggs stacked above a cross. That tiny dove is making a big mess, for sure. But the best is the writing which just cruises along despite all obstacles.
Thanks for the morning giggles.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOldMorgans

I'm glad some of the people here cleared some things up for me. I, too, thought that the rosary was a bunch of grapes. I thought that the dove and wafer were a pineapple. Maybe it was the lemony yellow of the frosting that turned me down the path of contemplating fruit possibilities? Maybe it's because I'm Lutheran...

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpolitical-poet

So glad she got a refund for that one!

I think that stuff around the dove is probably supposed to be the rays of light you often see in such an image.

Unfortunately, what it looks like to me is that the dove is vigorously dipping a cookie into a glass - er, chalice - of milk, and the milk is then splashing cheerfully out.

And I kind of hope the wafer really is plastic. I was raised Episcopalian, and even though I'm pretty much agnostic now, I find the concept of eating a fake wafer on a cake to be somehow vaguely wrong, approaching creepy. Not sure why, I just know that if I were eating this cake, I'd feel much happier having the wafer (and chalice) removed first even if they weren't plastic. Oh, and that goes for the Bible, too, and if I'd been raised Catholic, I suspect I'd have the same feeling about the rosary beads.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm glad some of the people here cleared some things up for me. I, too, thought that the rosary was a bunch of grapes. I thought that the dove and wafer were a pineapple. Maybe it was the lemony yellow of the frosting that turned me down the path of contemplating fruit possibilities? Maybe it's because I'm Lutheran...

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpolitical-poet

The "burnt batter" bit was the best part. Alliteration must never be questioned.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelisa

For a split second I thought this was a Monty Python cake. Seems more up their alley than Christianity's.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCassykins

Yeah, the word "holy" also came to my mind as well! I am an oft lurker, but this one "called" to me! What a mess! The rosary curled up in the corner had me laughing out loud, and the writing across the chalice, just about made me change my pants. Thanks for the laughs!

I didn't realize that was a rosary either... the cross doesn't look connected. My guess was it was supposed to be a pile of pearls that were actively not being cast before swine...

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMonkeyPunk

Aw, I wonder if Julia was thrilled.
Maybe egg yoke yellow is her favorite color--it's not unthinkable. ((gaughhh))
So, curiosity got the best of me, and I Googled "First Communion Party Goods," and Lo and Behold: site upon plastic-overload site of everything one could imagine, and plenty of stuff you'd never imagine (or want to), as well. They've got bibles & crosses confetti (pink & blue AND gold & silver options),"jewelery" (not making this up, SHOT GLASS gel candle favors, and even a gategory called, "What's HOT for 2009," which includes my personal favorite:
"Green Floral Pattern with Cross Design Personalized Iced Cappuccino Favors." (you're a BIG GIRL, now, Julia!)
Catholics have all the fun.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Did anyone else see this and think Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Baking and Mistaking, omg, what you said? HILARIOUS.
This cake is just one more reason why I'm an atheist, lol.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbonnie.

soooo, what would a good first communion cake look like? maybe just congratulations and a little chalice in the corner? Maybe just congratulatons.

maybe I'm just more willing than the wreckerator to accept my lack of creativity, but I can't really see how you could make a spectacular first communion cake. surely better than this, but not really great like some of Jen's Sunday Sweets.

Am I just missing it? What would make a truly awesome first communion cake?

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

The stuff around the dove is the power of the holy spirit, which the dove represents. Like in this artwork of the HS

Wow, there's 12 years of Catholic school working for me. I knew it would come in handy someday. Luckily I attended in the post-beatings days. When I got to college I took off Catholicism like a coat, dropped it on the floor, and walked away.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

That looks like Mardi Gras beads, not a rosary. I'll go to hell for sure if I say what that makes me think.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Looks like the communion wafer is a bit underbaked too! I've never seen a shiny communion wafer. Ugh.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIris

EW...yellow icing...and plastic decorations.

wvotd: flour; This cake is a waste of flour.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

Oh, Anonymous at 9:34---you said it!
"Holy Crap," indeed, H.A.Kitchen!

The commentary and the comments are the best part of cakewrecks to me---thanks for the laughs, everyone!

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterheartafire

OOooooh, 1101001, I am going to hafta snatch you up by your little 18-year old pony tail and teach you to respect your elders!

Love, A codger

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterheartafire

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