My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


Have you heard of the Croquembouche [CROCK-you-EAM-butchy]? It's a French thing. Well, if not, here's what it's supposed to look like:

So kinda like old, cobweb-wrapped monkey bread. But in a yummy way.

Well, a certain anonymous person - who shall remain unnamed to protect her anonymity - found this gem at a wedding which she may or may not have anonymously attended:

I believe her exact words were, "it looks like some kind of primitive jungle cake being attacked by a swarm of lactating spider-wasps."

Mmmm, lactating spider-wasps...

Well, uh, Jane D. [wink wink], thanks for putting a new spin on these things.

Update: I think it's important to ask yourself a couple of questions before commenting here on Cake Wrecks:
Question: Did John and Jen really intend to give us the pronunciation of a word?
Answer: No.
Question: Are John and Jen complete and total idiots?
Answer: No.
Question: Do they...
Answer: No.
Question: Would they...
Answer: No.
Question: What about...
Answer: No.
That is all.

- Related Wreckage: MORE Weird Wedding Cakes (with the famous "albino booby tower")

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Reader Comments (168)

Kristin is soooo funny with her comment that this is the French Cupcake Cake. Haaaaaaaa, Merci!

December 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCJ Lucke

For all you that know nothing about French or international pastry:

That picture is a beautiful and artistic example of a "croquembouche". Depending on what international country you might be in the look will vary.

The part that looks like "spider webs" to all you culinary commeners is actually hand applied spun sugar which takes real talent to heat and apply corectly much less shape it into points and corners. Maybe if more americans could think outside of a (cake) box we might have more innovative desserts such as our european cousins. And... no I'm not French I am a proud American that owns a bakery.

December 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBakery Owner

I couldn't eat this. Not only does it have that whole nasty spider thing, but it looks like a crop of celery blew out of the butt of this thing.

Eee-ghad! Someone paid for that thing? Scary!

December 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBailey's Leaf

This is such a great blog! I laughed really hard looking at some of the cakes.
Check out my blog!

December 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is the first cake on FIRE?

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

that "STRABERRY" santa cake looks a lot like the killer santa robot from the Simpsons sister show FUTURAMA... and there's a lot of xmas slaughtering in there too...

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterzephyr

Okay, I'm watching Chef Academy on Tivo right now and the students have to make a croquembouche. The teacher made one as an example and the students' comments were all, "That thing looks like a giant disaster!"

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSooz

Oh fun times!

December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

Aww, your example of a "good" croquembouche isn't even terribly good. I've seen much lovelier at events - and they are DELICIOUS!! On the other hand, that wreck is just....yikes.

Thank goodness Aunt Sandy hasn't taken to making them too...


December 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMJ

Man, that more than anything else looks like mosquito netting over the little pastry balls.

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's not a wreck; it's a wedding cake of" rel="nofollow">the Nox!

December 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

All the "better" examples everyone is submitting look a bit... phallic.

December 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOLZ. I don't know what that thing at the top is, and I live in France. My [French] husband didn't either. When he saw it, he said "What is that?"

P.S. I've seen "pièce montée" that look a little like that (and they're usually served at weddings), but they don't have those cobwebby things.

December 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If I saw that...that THING at any wedding I was attending, I would lean over to my husband during dinner and say, "Dear, quick—fake a gallbladder attack; we HAVE to get out of here before they serve that...cake...." And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE cake (well, okay, mainly I love frosting [REAL frosting, buttercream—not that awful whipped cream crap that often passes for frosting in the South]), so it has to be veeeeery bad for me to want to run screaming. Yikes!

January 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrascalmom

My four year old roommate just asked why the cake was make with broccoli.

March 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJaxonWest

Mmmmm croquembouche (and Stacy, it can be written either croquembouche or croquenbouche). It was just my birthday, and a week ago my friend (who's a talented patissier) asked what I wanted. I was irritated with work at the time and replied, "Make me a croquembouche!" figuring that she'd just laugh it off.
Yesterday, she presented me with a sky-high, chocolate-cream-filled croquembouche. And it was the farthest thing from a Wreck ever, let me tell you. :D

July 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShiraTheRavenclaw

I really enjoyed the update part. (especially because I almost thought about commenting with pronunciation help hahahaa!) :-D

October 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpretemoiparis

my sister made me 1 for my birthday. the webby thing is accatually just caramel drizzled all over to keep it 2gether. i dont know what u called it, but i just call it a cream puff tower. but the caramel burned so it tasted like bitter poo.

March 2, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergayil

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