My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Fear Factor, CW Style

Eons ago when the show Fear Factor first came out, I discovered something about myself: I have an extremely sympathetic gag reflex. Yep. Show me a video of someone eating yak brains, and I want to...well, yak.

Imagine how much better the show would have been, though, if they'd substituted the following cakes for the gross foods challenge. It wouldn't have been that much easier on the contestants, and seeing their expressions when they got a pleasant surprise as opposed to a sticky/wriggly one would have been awesome.

Oh, and in case this intro hasn't been warning enough, guys, here's a tip: PUT THE FOOD DOWN. AND THE COFFEE. AND THAT PRICELESS MING DYNASTY VASE. (Dude, what are you doing carrying that around, anyway?)

First up, here's looking at ewe, kid.

Step right up! No need to be sheepish; this cake is a shear delight!

Eva G., for some reason the phrase "bubblegum tongue" from that John Mayer song keeps coming to mind. (And now every time you hear that song, you will think of this cake. That is my gift to you. [bowing])

Or if you'd prefer to live high on the hog, you can always pig out on this guy:

Looks like someone brought home the bacon. Hey Cattie P., way to ham it up!

Hey, where are you all going? I'm not done yet! Ok, ok, no more puns - promise.

This one looks kinda crunchy:

Stephanie N., I don't care how artistically done this sucker is - I'd still stomp on him in a pinch. (Assuming he was less than an inch long, of course. Otherwise, Jooooohhn!!!)

And lastly, let's finish up with a little seafood. (Although for some of you, this will mean seeing all the food you ate for breakfast.)

[lower lip trembling] Must. Keep. Swallowing.

From the short bursts of eye contact I was able to make with this guy before the dry heaving began, I think I decided it was a catfish. And as for those green things - well, it helps me to keep the bile at bay if I tell myself they're grapes. So we're going with that, ok, Joanna B.? Don't bother telling me they're fish eggs, or catfish brains, or the prepubescent larvae of a water-dwelling grindylow: honestly, I don't want to hear it.

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Reader Comments (165)

I think the catfish is probably a sturgeon, and the grapes are probably caviar. Just sayin'.

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nice Harry Potter reference!

April 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSexy Witch

These are fantastic! I don't think any of them really qualify as wrecks - they are all really well made - The catfish wouldn't be my first choice as a design but it has been done with enormous skill!

April 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMargo

new to your blog. literally laughed until i cried at these. it was that or hurl.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTana

Sarah W - seriously and personally disturbing? Please. A scorpion is a natural animal with a beautiful, sleek appearance, it's not aggressive and few species can seriously harm you. NOBODY should find arthropods ugly or scary, there is absolutely no reason to. Get the hell over it and grow up please.

April 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScythemantis

As the creator of the sheep's head, I am delighted by every comment in this thread and proud to be included with these other freaky cakes. The sheep was for a New Zealand going away party. The design was meant to be sweet, creepy, and a bit dead in the eyes so it sounds like it worked. Wish I could show you all how scary it looked without the fondant, but I tried hard to get that graceful naturalistic bone structure. Subversive cakes unite!

April 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Aristocrats

I want to see the cake that looks like head cheese.

April 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeanne

Catfish cake oh yuck. I totally agree with the dry heaves.

April 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Thanks for the HP reference!!!

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

I actually love the catfish cake. :/ And the green things are green tea tapioca pearls, apparently.

May 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those look more like gooseberries than grapes.

May 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My three year old said "ewww it's pooping out grapes."
What a cake!

October 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The cat fish one is amazing! Great creative work.

May 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwendalls

What the freak was with all those nails on the lobster cake? as if it wasn't repellent enough...

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNyum

Oh my stars, I remember how hard I worked to get "peerless" into that haiku. I love you, Cake Wrecks. Thank you for existing.

May 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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