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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
May252009

Mixed Grill

It's Memorial Day, and as every red-blooded American knows, there is only one nationally accepted way to demonstrate your sense of patriotic pride in the men and women who have sacrificed for this country. One which involves fire, hunks of raw meat, and at least one guy in a "kiss the chef" apron cursing out the blippity bleepin' starter switch on the filth flarnin' grill.

That's right: It's barbecue time, baby.


Is this creative? Sure. Appetizing? Not so much. It looks like a giant half-cooked hamburger with steak and shish kabab'ed Elmo fingers on it. [shudder] Great, now I gave myself the willies.

Speaking of shish kababs, here's the "cheater-cheater-plastic-eater" version:

[shaking head] Til the end of time, Wreckerators will be trying - and failing - to make circles out of cupcakes. What's the definition of insanity again?

And here's one with the oh-so-authentic chalky briquette look:

Ah, there's nothing like leprous-looking cupcakes to get the ol' saliva glands going!

Some bakeries are breaking down the two main components of the grilling experience. See, while this next one may look like a penned-in bunch of baboon butts, you can tell by the "GRILLIN'" sticker that it's actually a grill:


Huh. Thank goodness for stickers, is all I can say.

Oh, and here's the raw, malformed lump that goes on it! Yum!


Now there's some bloody good fun, eh, guv'na? Jolly good, pip pip, and all that. (Hey, I've read Wodehouse, Ok? I'm practically an expert on British terminology. Really.)

Shannon S., Amy J., Joanna C., & Nichole H., I'm suddenly inspired to find a doll on a grill, just so I can write the caption "Barbie on the barbie". Unless one of you knows a girl named Barbie? You could even turn the grill off, if you like.

UPDATE: Ask, and ye shall receive:

Barbie on the barbie!

« An Indecent Proposal | Main | Defying Gravity »

Reader Comments (116)

That grillin' one looks like a netbag full of human intestines...why???

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRegina

BBQ CAKES!? That's.... um... unique. Strange though. Very strange.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

Enough to make me a vegetarian - Ross

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDisobedient Tiger

Wow, those certainly look..appetizing...cause ya know, I've always dreamed of eating a cake that ooks like a hunk of meat!

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYakira

hi there.. nice post.. thanks for sharing!

-enJAYneer-
http://enjayneer.com" REL="nofollow">JAYtography: An Online Travelogue

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterenJAYneer

LOVE the skewered Elmo fingers LOL

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Could be Elmo┬┤s fingers or could be hairy caterpillars, whatever suits your taste...

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Somehow, the idea of putting raw meat in my mouth--for dessert, no less--is less than appetizing.

WV braco=The sound one makes when heaving up steak-shaped cake.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

My favorite Wodehouse phrase is when one character tells another, "You're taking up room I had planned for other things." Good stuff.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRimpy

That last one...I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. :(

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Paligos

That last one is too gross to be believed. I shudder at the thought of biting into that, no matter how good it might actually taste.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan T-O

I so wish I could see Elmo fingers in that first one, rather than what I really see: little screaming baby birds, with skewers shoved down their throats waiting to be burned alive.
Now, I really get a huge giggle out of the "ashy" grill picture--it's exceptionally difficult to find a SINGLE piece of "food" on the actual grate. Looks like everything just fell onto the heap o' white-hot frosting. What in blazes ARE they serving there, BTW? Looks to me like: already-been-sucked-on Hall's cough drops, choco-chip cookie bits, ripped-off penguin beaks (why do I keep seeing bird parts?), and little globs of shiny, green phlegm...
Mmmmm...is it ready yet? =^><^=

And Jen? Don't you LET them kid you! That really IS a "penned-in bunch of baboon butts" ! Who wouldn't know one of THOSE when they saw it???

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

"It's Memorial Day, and as every red-blooded American knows, there is only one nationally accepted way to demonstrate your sense of patriotic pride in the men and woman who have sacrificed for this country."

what just the one woman? tsk tsk Jen after all the mocking you do of others for their estranged typos ;) hehehe

the wreckorators shall have their revenge!

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOriel

they may be the worst ever..

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertracy

That gigantic slab of steak at the end is just delicious. By delicious, I mean wholly unappetizing.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMixtape Anthems

I think that post must've given us all the 'willies'

I think the Giant steak one wins for most..... interesting.

and the charcoal briquettes is probably the best execution.

and the award for most appetizing goes to............... WV Ouddabus!

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

I don't know, the Grillin one looked more like sleeping naked mole rats to me.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

See, it's times like these that I have to wonder who doesn't like cake looking like cake and has to be enticed to eat it by shaping it like something else. I mean, I can understand kids (or adults) not liking a vegetable unless it's hidden in something yummy, but cake? If you can't like cake as is by itself, then, well, I feel sorry for you.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That raw steak looks eerily realistic. That would really do a number on your brain - your tastebuds are expecting raw meat and get something sugary sweet instead. Blah.

Thanks for taking away my grumpies this morning!

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci

eep! I'm presently happy that none of my friends read this unless I like it to them! My name is Barb, and yes, they would put me on the barbie for fun...

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

I nearly fell out of my chair at the shish kabab'ed Elmo fingers. Funniest thing I've seen in ages.

But that baboon butt cake? What is that even ... I'm just speechless. I can't put my finger on what the blobs look like, but it's something very gross that makes my stomach turn. I wouldn't eat that if I was paid.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIngeborg

If someone brought that first one out at a party, I think I would be mildly impressed! The others though are much, much worse.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

I'm sure some one thought they were oh so funny with the "grilling" sticker. I just don't understand why anyone though "meat cake" is a good idea!!

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBunny

Cake flavored meat. Huh.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Barbie on a grill... Hmmm...

"Blackhole sun, won't you come..."

For some reason, it's the perfect summer song for me. I've always been a strange gal. I literally grew up on that song and video, and Tom Petty's "Don't Come 'Round Here No More". Says a lot about me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiSkyEyBczU

Happy grilling! Happy Memorial Day, thanks to our troops.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVanilla

"a penned-in bunch of baboon butts"???!!! LOL

I laughed myself sick! It was great! *sniff* Thanks Jen! ;)

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersmiles :)

THAT LAST ONE IS AWESOME.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterelsolylaluna

No. These are wrong. Ugh!
~Amy B.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I fear that last one. The biggest fear would be that it would actually taste like steak, and it's just TOO rare for me!

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkarina

Call me crazy, but I'm actually looking at this one, thinking that it's not so bad:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wGr8njEWjtI/ShoXQuVLAtI/AAAAAAAAC6k/pdRlMyKbJV0/s1600-h/agent+kaz-ow-grill.jpg

Maybe I'm just desensitized because I've seen much worse due to this site? hahaha.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShana

Hither, my meat cake!
O, embrace, sweet buttercream
gristle temptation!

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

My 8 YO son, who doesn't read the copy, looked at the pink CCC grill and said, "Looks like anuses!"

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMJS

I guess if they make meat flavoured cakes, they can make cake-flavoured meat.

yes I remember seeing years ago some concoction via the internet of people that made like meatloafor shepherds pie that looked like cake... gross...

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisalead

Can''t remember the name of the owner of Charm City but one time on Ace of Cakes the crew made him a giant meatball cake for his birthday. That I can understand, but these others?

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCathleen

Raw meet... no matter if it's a cake... cant do it

Raychel - MyCreativeWay.blogspot.com

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRaychel

The very first one I like, but the grill itself is a little odd looking. I didn't see the steak for a very long time.

I'd think making these into a REAL cake would be so much easier. All the grills look oddly lumpy because they're CCCs.

The second to last looks like so many different organs, or reminds me of them, that I'm truly not sure what to say.

I would love to have that last one. Meat cakes crack me up. I love anything in the shape of another, but I think meat (or toast) are the best. I often wish that, when I have a wedding, to make it entirely out of cakes shaped like meat. :)

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter~ L. K.

What-ho, ol' chum!

Ta muchly for another amusing post!

Always up for a good snicker.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Blah! Oh my. Those cakes look absolutely disgusting!

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNate Fakes

Yikes. These are gross. (Runs away covering eyes.)

First time commenter, I think. Love your blog!

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeadless Mom

Holy crap. . . the last one--the hunk of meat--I think I threw up a little in my mouth at that one.

BBQ cakes is definitely NOT what I'm going to make the next time I bake. Eww.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAleesuhn_Muhree

You need to have the last laugh and invent a cupcake pan (if it doesn't exist already) that has some that are a different shape so that when they're all assembled they can make believable circles, curves, etc. Still pull-apartable but not as egregiously malformed.

You could make a mint off of the people you've mocked. :)

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjkpolk

As George Carlin once put it, (in regards to leftovers)..."Could be meat.....could be cake........maybe it's meatcake?"

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

Props for PG Wodehouse! If you haven't seen Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry in Jeeves and Wooster, you're missing out.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Blecchh!! Regarding first picture: Don't they know you're supposed to devein the shrimp before cooking?

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

I for one, am appalled.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I actually think the "steak cake" is a pretty stunning work of cake art based on how realistic it looks and the potential for confusing your tastebuds. Now, if someone could just make a hunk of raw steak look like a decorated frosted layer cake, and serve them together, that would be worthy of a gallery event!

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterroses_rejoice

Call me crazy, but I kind of like the one that looks like ashy charcoal briquettes. I mean, at least it's using the cupcakes' normal shape?

Elmo Fingers. I must serve these at my next party.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFabFrugalFood

The first one is mildly impressive, if you ignore the bits of creeping multicolored mold, just waiting to come in and massacre those poor Elmo fingers. Look out, Massacring Mold is comin' to a steak cake (stake?) near you! D:

wv. rumas - I've been hearin' some rumas 'bout a steak cake somewhere.

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Husband & I agree: the "shrimp" in the fist pic look like those ear thingies from Wrath of Khan. ewwwww

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVal

the first one looks like they are grilling a santa hat along with the elmo fingers

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterQueen Mommy

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