My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Better Dieting Through Cake

NOTE: Now really isn't the time to start eating that bagel - or anything else, for that matter. :D

So, are you ready for swimsuit season? No? Then join the Cake Wrecks Appetite-Suppression Program, and get a thinner you in no time!

Yes, that's right! With a steady "visual diet" of Wrecks like these:

You'll find yourself craving all foods less and less!

For example: Are you having a hard time saying "no" to fatty animal shanks? (Because, really, who isn't?) Well, with our proven "You'll Hope They're Cloves!" model, you're guaranteed to never desire streaky blackened meat-on-the-bone ever again!

You're already reconsidering that lunch order, aren't you? Now imagine the results you'll get with a full 24/7 regimen!

It's so easy! The Cake Wrecks Appetite-Suppression Program contains a heart-healthy sculpted-cake medley of:

Disgusting food products...

(Red meat, green meat, meat that oozes, meat that's rare...)

Enlarged insects...

(Post-stompage for maximum effectiveness)

And of course, plenty of poo-like piles...

(Just a little dab'll do ya!)

All guaranteed to get you the results you want!

And for those dieting emergencies when you need an extra-strength dose of appetite suppressing Wreckage, there's our special "medical specimens" selection:

Filled with jelly, so you won't fill your belly!

Melinda A., Tricia A., Kathleen, Jenn J., Kristin, & Debra F., eat your heart out.

Or don't, 'cuz that's kinda gross.

*Related Wreckage: The Cake Head Diet Aid

« KILL IT WITH FIRE!! (Oh wait, they already did...) | Main | Who's Your "Dady"? »

Reader Comments (144)

That is seriously nasty.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermandi

Dibs on the mandibles!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

That's hilarious that the fly had it's legs and 1 wing pulled off and the heart is so...ummm..GLOSSY!!!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

OK...your new weight loss program works really good! UURPP! I feel slightly queasy and have just sworn off eating for the rest of the day. BLLEEEHHH!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentervix

I didn't think it would work, but surprisingly, I'm not hungry anymore!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBryna

Well, Now my Kiddos won't eat their breakfast. I think this is your best post EVEH!! Way to GO!!!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Well... I, for one, won't be eating today.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Glad for the warning- those were GROSS!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEternal Lizdom

Nothing says yummy like sea slugs!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie Meme

Ok, so I never get grossed out. Until now. These are hideous. My morning coffee seems vile right now. Thanks, Jenn. :-P

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Actually, that heart cake is pretty good. I keep expecting it to pump and quiver.

WV - comenth: Old English, to comment - Yay, he comenth on yon blog posting.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMilton

Oh god those are hideous!!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeagan

That last cake is probably good after a hearty meal. Buh-dum-dum (that was supposed to be a rimshot)

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDan Lewis

Weirdly enough, there was a catagory of foods called "subtlety" in medieval times, and included *were* sweets that resembled meat, or offal. The recipes still exist. I was kind of guilty of, "Ooooo, roast as cake! Nice subtlety!!!"

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMonique

Holy disgusting, Batman! The little slab of ground beef on that meat cake really makes me gag. EWWW!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin

I'm really glad I haven't even touched breakfast yet, 'cause there's no way I'm eating now. Blech!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

I thought the first one was sushi when I saw it in the small size. Runny, rotten sushi. The raw meat one was amazingly accurate and revolting, but the bug made me heave. EWWWW! Who in their right mind....???

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Now I know this wouldn't give you much to do Jen, but what happened to cakes that look like...cakes??

The shiny, freshly extracted heart is burned into my retinas. Thanksomuch.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacie

oh... it's hard to believe these are cakes... or that they are sweet...

eca! ;P

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Aaaaaaaaannnndd... your blog is usually torture... specially on sundays... I do crave for cakes when I visit...

but now...

seriously... I can't even think of food...

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Wow. Just makes you wonder what the heck...

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Sick. I think my breakfast may revisit me here in a moment.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Those are wrong on so many levels.

I got nothin else.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I will never look at cakes the same again.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBigMomma

Well you finally posted some cakes that turned my stomach worse than the dusty old display cakes from awhile back.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDee

Ewwwww!! Love the meat platter cake. I had that green one for dinner last night. I think it's supposed to be one of those flank steak pinwheels - steak rolled up with feta cheese, pine nuts and spinach. It looked better last night as an actual meat product...

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStuffCooksWant

Yuck, yuck, yuck. Those are seriously wrecky cakes.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShel

I think the heart cake is pretty cool!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

But SOOOO funny! Love your commentary, ha ha ha!

And thanks for the warning to not eat or drink before reading. Much appreciated.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCALpumper

I have an 8-year-old boy who would kill for that insect cake. Of course, I could probably talk him into eating a real one.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThomas Westgard

i never thought there was a cake i would turn down until i saw these. ew.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercindy

Eeww. That's all. Just eeww.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Ha, ha! Thanks for posting this today of all days, Jen! Yesterday, I swore to go on a hard-core diet eating only the healthy foods I have so long avoided in months.

The catch? There is still half of a delicious homemade cake sitting in my house (and it's a marble cake, to boot)!

I was ALMOST tempted to grab a slice of my cake this morning...until lo and behold I saw today's post. Now, I shall think twice about eating my cake. Or any cake. Or any food, for that matter.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't get the leg of lamb cake - what occasion was that for???

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

The bottom left and bottom right items in the third picture interest me. It looks like a pile of grilled meats, but then you look at those two...I see a muffin (with the paper still attached) and a cinnamon bun. And both have grill marks on them. And judging by the white lines around the middles, they were also both cut in half, slathered with cream cheese and put back together like a bagel.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I usually read this while I'm eating dinner, so thanks for the warning. Although I'm so hungry at the moment, I don't think it'll do much to take away my appetite.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

barf. thanks for the very motivational weight loss aids. burgle, burp...

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMuum

My five year old just walked in and declared the second cake a stinky lady bug.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterctdeyo

Hey! I really like the "box o' meat"
cake! I think that's pretty cool!

Captcha word: recie
recie - a recipe without any "p" in it! :)

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChad

the second pic looks like a torched brain complete with brain stem . . . yuck!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I managed to avoid snatching up a piece of cake while shopping yesterday, and thanks to your Better Dieting through Cake I'll be able to avoid doing the same for the rest of the week. Perhaps the rest of next week, too. And, yes, I'm actually on a diet. It'll be easy making this week's goal...

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Duuuuude. Those are gross.

Still, nothing turns me off like a good kitty litter cake.

Angie (from over at

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

I actually gagged. FYI, laughing and gagging simultaneously can really be interesting.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.

Ok, the bug one I kinda like because I'm weird like that. But the rest....not so much. That first one looks like old salmon on top.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermags

I JUST FINISH EATING!!! eurkkk it tottaly work for me...Hey keep them comming after august, i'm due to give birth! I want to stay away from cakes(espicially the i'm a baker humpff!!!)


good blog good job!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMoi, la perdue!

But...why are they so shiny???

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

the filled with jelly comment just threw me over the edge

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Definitely nauseated, now.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

I threw up a little

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeray

Thank goodness I'd finished my yogurt before I viewed these cakes!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSue KuKu

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