My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A Cake Wrecks Salute

Today we salute you, Mr. or Mrs. Patriotic Cake Wreckerator.

[singing] "Mr. or Mrs. Patriotic Cake WreckoRAAATor!"

Yes, in a sea of national complacency, you are the one shining beacon of truth, justice, and proper icing depictions of the American flag:

"Hey, Betsy Ross would be pro-oud!"

And when it comes to the star placement on those flags. you don't let petty things like "perspective" or "scale" get in your way:

"Ooooh, I think you need a few mo-ore!"

Yes, no other cake decorator loves this country quite the way you do, or has our sacred borders drawn on their hearts in quite the same way:

"At least you got Florida!"

So here's to you, Faithful Fan of the Frosted Flag. Because without you, tinsel and airbrushing and cliched eagle photos would never end up on Cake Wrecks, where we all know they belong:

"Mr. or Mrs. Patriotic Cake Wreckeraaaaa-tor!"

Thanks to Wreckporters Danae H., Kate B., Scott W., & Emily J., who are clearly more patriotic than you are.

- Related Wreckage: Somewhere in Kabul, there is an Italian bakery

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Reader Comments (125)

"cannot believe that i'm the only one to have noted that mexico and florida form a sort of...ahem...crotchtacularness of tackitude there"

Noooo ... apparently I have the same dirty mind. :) My first thought was that it looked sort of ... half-mast-ish. Yeah. I'm gonna quit before I get myself in trouble.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKara

"At least you got Florida!"

That looks more like a cross section of the male reproductive system than a map of the US.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIGiveUp

Little known fact: the guy who sings lead in those commercials is the lead singer from Survivor ("It's the..Eye of the Tiger, it's the cream of the fight, risin' up to the challenge of our rivals!)

Looked that up one day when I knew the voice was familiar but couldn't place it.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

OMG just a few days ago I heard one of these commercials on TV and I was thinking "wouldn't it be funny if they made one about cake wreckers" - Jenn I swear you are a genius!! Love love love your humor!

Misha @

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterROYALTY

bzzzzgrrrl said But, um, Suzy B.? I can only think of Susan B. Anthony, and I don't get the connection. Help, please.

Same here." rel="nofollow">Susan B. Anthony was known for campaigning for women's right to vote. Perhaps Jen was thinking of" rel="nofollow">Betsy Ross (credited with making the first US flag) or" rel="nofollow">Mary Pickersgill (who made the flag at Fort McHenry, which inspired the Star Spangled Banner - can you tell I'm from Baltimore?).

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

I swear I read the second cake as GOBBLES AMERICA.


June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The "GODBLESS AMERICA" cake makes us look like a nation divided. Maybe we are in many ways, but...that cake is sad.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

OMG FUNNIEST POST EEEEEVVVEEERRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love those commercials and have been wishing they could be made into karaoke tracks! I could envision groups doing those together.

Fluffy Cow, the reason you don't see California is that there was an earthquake and it finally fell into the ocean, like they've been predicting for decades!

your fellow LBer

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSue KuKu

Thank you for pairing my favorite series of commercials with your blog. YOU ARE AWESOME.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel S

On first glance, I thought that second one said "Gobbles America"!

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlifeofleisa

I love you for that. And I was totally singing along in my head.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertracy

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that looked like a bikini. And A+ for the Bud Light reference! LOL

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter~*~ Just plain me~*~

I think that CCC over by the Florida section looks like someones!!

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOur Crazy Life

OOH! Remember when most of the Midwest was swallowed by a meteor made of frosting?

No, neither do I.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPrincessSunshine

Bud Light commercial + Cake Wrecks = HILARIOUS. Methinks further commercial spoofs are in order, now that you've shown us this aspect of your parodic talents.

Reeeeal Cakes of Geeeeenius!

We salute your official post

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Short

Betsy Ross must be ripstitching in her grave!

WV- tartoing- "Honest, Occifer, I've only had tee martoonies. I'm on my way to the tartoing parlor to get my favoritest cake wreck on my bum."
Friends don't let friends buy Cake Wrecks (they give them as gifts!)

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrigglesnitz

That was great...thanx for the laughs :)

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe with Americas obesity problem id do-e-e-es say gobbles America! hmmmm? just sayin'!

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Thank you for the laughs :)

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

No, Luna wasn't the only one to notice... but expressing it as "crotchtacularness of tackitude" is like the funniest thing EVER!!

Quite a disproportion going on there too...

Nikki" rel="nofollow">Tweet me nice!

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermy7kids

That was awesome! I love those commercials and you did a super great job. I could hear his singing voice in my head and it went along perfectly!

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Hilarious! I love those commercials.

I actually like the CCC (shock!) It's rather clever. However, the bottom one looks like a patriotic-colored upchuck.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

After the great Epcot Incident of 2009, I prefer to stay out of the Suzy B. vs. Betsy Ross debate. I'm from Philadelphia and had flag history drilled into me every day, but I'm keeping an open mind in case Jen used Suzy B. on purpose. :-)

Love the Real Men of Genius theme in the post. I want to sent this link to them just so they can do a CakeWrecks song. ;-)

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina M.

Re the cookie cake: I never knew the flag could have a goiter. Learn something new every day.

Word verification: tordishe (adj); large, bulky, unwieldy. From Swedish wrestler Tor Johnson. Usage: "The star fields on the cookie cake look tordishe."

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

Thanks to those of you who pointed out my Suzy B/Betsy Ross mix-up. In my defense - or rather, in an attempt to throw someone *else* under the bus - John didn't catch it, either. ;)

I will now correct the post, so that future commenters can ask what the heck we're all talking about. Whee!

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Love your salute. I sang along as I read your post. Now that commercial tune will be in my head all day! :)

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Awesome post--love the commercials, love Cakewrecks. I just wish there was sound!

wv: nockmai
Why you gotta nockmai country with those craptastic cakewrecks?

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

I totally got the voice in my head for that. Thanks for making me LOL!

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Wow, I actually just sat and stared at that 2nd one for several seconds. I even gave my head a scratch. That was just... wow.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cake made me really dizzy, I couldnt focus on it long enough to tell what it was supposed to be (maybe its not supposed to be anything, but like I said I cant look at it!)

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjessica

OMG I could totally hear the Budwiser commercial voice over in my head! BTW, my sister's name is (Beverly) "Betsy" Ross!!

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDesiree

How does a Wreckerator (like the one in the second cake) hear the words "American Flag" and think "Odd, misshapen starry thing that looks vaguely like a mutant pair of pants"? I just don't get it! Someone should do a scientific study on these "cake" "decorators" to see if their unique genetic structure protects them from any diseases as well as making them utterly clueless.

P.S. Jen, I love the joke about the commercial, but you've used it before, remember? (Mr. Grocery-Store-Cake-Decorator)

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I salute you, for throwing back to the "Real American Heroes/Real Men of Genius" advertisements.

And I cower from the creations those bakeries allowed to be displayed on their shelves. ::shiver::

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNaazju

Loved the commercial theme tie-in, second only to Princess Bride tie-in...Challenge for you Jen:

Love Boat theme song tie in?
Gilligan's Island?
Pick you tv show theme song tie in?
You can do it!

WV: phati, as in "If you GOBBLES AMERICA, you be a phati!"

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJacq Cooks

God bless the USA. Now I am going to move to Canada.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

That homage to the bud light song was FANTASTIC!

And those cakes are so bad!!!! The one with the wonky stars is the best/worst. :)

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

Oh. Em. Gee. Jen, I swear, you make me laugh harder every single day! The Bud Light homage was priceless!!!

wv: loosa {noun} not a winner "She found a new cake decorator because the last one was a real loosa."

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Too funny! I would probably get in an accident from laughing hysterically if that came on the radio while I was driving. You need to pitch that commercial to them.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Oh, my...another bad use of everything...and those rows of stars...hilarious !

After these cakes, I think I might just start taking my camera while I'm shopping at stores that have might be fun to find a few Wrecks myself LOL

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

I think "Faithful Fan of the Frosted Flag" needs to be on a tshirt.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLori

Seriously, before I scrolled down to see the second image in its fully glory, I thought I was going to be looking at a bikini top that was decorated July 4th style. Sheesh.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeMira

My three-year-old saw the first cake and said, "wormies!"


As always, your commentary is what keeps me coming back. Keep up the good work!


June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oh my! That is hilarious! Kelly

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss G

Wow...Kind of ironic. Not too long ago I attended a 4-H workshop, and a man came in with a bunch of different flags that he had collected over the years. Each flag was one of the designs that had been considered as our country's flag. Amazingly enough, one of them looked kinda like...well, that first one. Ha ha. Lovely singing by the way.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRusty and Bandit

Not only some awesome wreckage, but kudos on the commercial homage!!!

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Seriously? Do they live in America?

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSeptember

Wow! That quite interesting.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

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