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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jul012009

Considering the Uterus

Warning: Impending TMI of a medical nature. (In case the title didn't already clue you in.)

Tomorrow I will have the dubious pleasure of having the insides of my uterus cauterized. In honor of the occasion, we could take a look at the uterus in all its glory and learn from the wonders of the human body.

OR...

We could take a look at what other women order when they get their lady-bits worked on. After all, I could use a little inspiration.

(Yeah, I like option "B" better, too.)

This woman nicknamed her baby bag "Tilly", and then ordered it a farewell cake, like so:


Hm. Not a bad idea, really. Of course, coming up with just the right nickname for your internal organs can be a mixed bag - er, no pun intended. Plus, I'd have to give mine a guy's name, since I refuse to believe any female would inflict such horrors on another. So...The McCramper? Sweeney Todd? Sir-Clumps-A-Lot? I'm open to suggestions, obviously.

Elizabeth made this nifty Operation cake for her mom, who was feeling kinda down about an impending hysterectomy:

Elizabeth writes, "My friends said I should have made a driver's license with her picture and changed the F to an M, but since I didn't want her to kill herself, I just made this."

Good call, Elizabeth. Having the cake recipient collapse in a sobbing heap can be such a killjoy. Far better to take the more chipper, Pollyanna-ish route:

Although there is the possibility that wishing someone a "happy" hysterectomy could lead to a different kind of meltdown: Anyone remember Wendi Aaron's famous "Happy Period" rant at Always maxi pads? If not, and you don't mind a little language, you should check it out.

Here's my favorite line:

"...there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and KahlĂșa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory."

Ah, which of us hasn't been there, eh, ladies? Or are there right now? ("Husband!! Bring me more Kahlua!!")

Some women obviously have a better relationship with their bits than I do, though:

Friends? Friends?!?
("Husband!! I mean it!!")


Now granted, I'm not having Sir-Clumps-A-Lot removed tomorrow, but that doesn't mean I'm any less apprehensive about the anesthesia and the whole, you know, cauterizing thing. So if any of you have some spare well wishes to send my way, the doctor's way, the Almighty's way, etc., I'd sure appreciate it.


Oh, and for the most realistic-looking (ie shiiiny) uterus cake yet, check out Debbie's here.

Thanks to Wreckporter Hall-of-Famer Monique R. for finding the last three.


UPDATE:
For all of you asking if vasectomy cakes will be next: Been there, done that. :D

« Happy Canada Day! | Main | A Cake Wrecks Salute »

Reader Comments (272)

I had a uterine ablasion a number of years ago. Best decision ever. You will love it! Freedom from the crimson wave!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPattie S Christensen

Good luck! I hope all goes well and smoothly and that they give you a boat load of prescription-strength painkillers.
Love your site -- thank you for entertaining me daily.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStr4yk1tt3n

Aw...no Canada Day love?

Good luck tomorrow!

Best of luck, Jen. I'm still giggling over "Sir Clumps-a-Lot!" My uterine knight was removed after 18 month of constant bloodshed. Ik. (Fibroids. I hates them.) Just remember: the morphine pump is your Best Friend. Better than Kahlua, even.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

I've had this procedure done twice and even though it's a little scary or nervewraking at first you'll be fine! Hope you are up and about soon!!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbem

I'm partial to the pink roses "Happy Hysterectomy" one because that's how I felt. Your symptoms plus massive hormonal imbalance. DH was pretty happy with the results too. Hope your procedure goes well.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well... have, um, fun? And I'm wondering if anyone will come up with an appropriate cake for my October combo c-section/tube-tying ceremony, lol!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

We'll all be thinking of you tomorrow! Get yourself (better yet, let the hubs get you...) your kahlua, and take it easy.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPam

You guys are awesome.

Today's one of those days when I'm going to be reading comments every few hours - I need and very much appreciate the encouragement. So thanks, so much.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Lifting you in prayer, Jen. May your recovery be both quick and easy... and if not, may the drugs be good! :)

Seriously: {{{hugs}}}

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersunlizzard

Here's hoping everything goes well. My ladius is still in it's normal position and will be staying that way for a while, at least. *sends good vibes from FL*

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaitlin

Good Luck tomorrow, you're in my prayers :-) I went through menopause already, but I DO remember it was never much fun...
Keep up the Great work, I read you daily - you provide me with laughter which I sorely need at this point!!
denise
Surviving Breast Cancer without health insurance
http://TeamDenise.org

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenise

I actually really like these...:]

And all the very best tomorrow. Hope all goes well

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

Is your procedure to render your baby-maker obsolete, or is it medically necessary? Of course, it's not really any of my business, but I just thought I would ask. Either way, best of luck! I'm sure you'll be back to yourself in no time.

While I appreciate the thought in these cakes.... I'm not sure I could ever eat a uterus.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkd

Good Luck tomorrow! Hope you're up and about soon.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertransyamber

Good luck with your procedure Jen!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Please tell me none of these are filled with raspberry jelly like that heart cake a couple weeks ago.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

how ironic - i too am going in tomorrow for this! i'm getting Essure and never thought of getting a cake made in "it's" honor ;-)

--Kari, Milwaukee

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkari

I'm sending prayers your way! When my husband had surgery what struck me was that, while it was scary for us (it was brain surgery!) it was just all in a day's work for the surgeon. Here's hoping it'll be totally routine for the doctor even though it's anything but routine for you!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterC. Beth

Hey, at least the "happy hysterectomy" cake is spelled correctly. :)

I'll put in some prayer that things go well for you tomorrow, Jen.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFelixAndAva

Best of luck with the procedure Jen.

If you scroll down, there's an accidental uterus kahlua cake that would be just perfect for this special occasion.

http://www.stellarcakeco.com/gallery.html

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

Hey, Jen! Thanks for the mention. And good luck with your procedure.

Best,

Wendi Aarons

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendi

when i saw the last cake and read the "bye bye", the n'sync some popped in my head. make it stop!! anyway, good luck tomorrow *thumbs up*!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteriris

GOOD LUCK! thanks for laugh today, too:) way to think of others first, like always! you'll be just fine. be sure to update us on your condition/feeling after so we know you're ok!! (((hugs!!)))

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjen bryner

Count me in for the "Happy to be Uterus Free!!" club. Like many others have shared, no periods, no cramps, no Sybil-like moods, no money wasted in the feminine hygiene aisle...and ALL of your undies can be your "good underwear".

Just wish I'd had a yummy good-bye girl parts cake....

Pattie, RN

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Had same procedure done as your having done a month ago -- It's wasn't near as bad as my brain was making me think -- Prayers for you and *Remeber -- Play up the pain for a few extra days off : ) The hubby can handle it! I'm a little miffed now I didn't get a cake though --Who knew they were available ?!?

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Good luck tomorrow!
I've had a hysterectomy, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
A uterus was most definitely not my friend!

Amy B.

wv: speni: Isn't the "s" on the wrong end?? LOL
Truly, that was the WV!!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Just do not stay too much time in recover, please. I'd hate to miss your posts for too long ;)

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSamovar

Good luck with the procedure, Jen!

I just don't think I could eat cake with a uterus on it!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie Dragonmoon

The second one is cute. The others are just....well.....um. Let's just leave it at that.

Good luck tomorrow.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenisewalks

Jen, I had the "scorched earth" treatment two years ago, and it was one of the best things to happen to me. No more blindingly painful cramps or excessive cycles! And recovery was a breeze. Life is so much better. :) You'll be in my thoughts, funny lady.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne Arquis

Good luck Jen! Maybe the doctor would consent to a few choruses of "To Sir, With Love" during the procedure?

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

I've had two friends have the procedure you are having and both said it was a breeze. You may have a few cramps afterwards, and if they offer you pain meds, take them. Not that you'll need them, though. It just gives you an excuse to lay around for the rest of the day and have someone else do all the work. ;-)

I'll be pulling for you.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIGiveUp

Eegh...may not have been the wreckerator's or wreck orderer's intent, but I think of abortion when I think of "Tilly." Tilly is the title of a fundamentalist Christian novella by Frank Peretti about a woman going through all kinds of guilt because of an abortion in her past (of a fetus she decided to name Tilly for some reason).

Makes that first cake all kinds of squicky for me!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTim

Jen,
I'll be praying everything goes well for your procedure LOL

In the past, I thought these cakes were a very bizzare idea. I think now that if I had to say goodbye, I would celebrate with a cake...after all, mine served me well (5 kids who went on to having 7 grandkids and counting)AND if I went to one of my local stores that has a bakery, that would probably produce a real Cake Wreck and maybe some bad spelling etc. too!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

Someone should get YOU a cake. You deserve it.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVanilla

For what it's worth, I had this same surgery done 7 years ago. I feel so much better and I'm sure you will too!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I read your blog every day, and look forward to the smiles you provide during my own recovery from surgery, so here's to the best for recovery from your medical procedure. May you continue to display wrecks for us lurkers indefinitely, and have an endless supply of Kahlua.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna C. Morrison

I went the ablation route a year ago and the beauty of not getting a period (among many) is that you never know where you are in your cycle so many more opportunities to say, it's hormones. Like Rosanne said, PMS lets me be myself.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, Jen,
Please NO vasectomy cakes as suggested by Horrible License Plates...the line must be drawn somewhere !

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

I also had something similar done some years ago - easy peasy. Just some cramps. Best of luck.

I do have to say this is the most educational blog I read - I truly had no idea of the number of cake worthy celebrations I have been forgoing all these years. Thank you - your site truly provides a vital public service.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Best wishes with your surgery tomorrow: fast pain free recovery, etc...

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I had that procedure done in March '06. He also "cauterized the hell" out of my tubes at the same time. His words not mine. I had to have my tubes tied at the same time. Hope it goes well for you!

I won't tell you how my symptoms are all back...

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Had something similar done for the period that wouldn't stop. Not too much pain if you take the drugs and not do it in the middle of moving. Do not try to lift heavy objects. I went with full anathesia, no choice the doctor freaked at my anti-anxiety meds. Good luck and good wishes your way. The cakes were awesome and I get the sentiments but that last one was way too realistic to eat. Right up there with cutting thru somone's face. Ugh.
Karen

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Good luck!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Do you mean endometrial ablation? If so, I am getting that done in two weeks and it couldn't come any sooner.

Good luck hon.

~~Marty

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarty

Why is the strawberry wearing boxing gloves?

***

Love the "Operation" cake. Very cute, and well-done! Brings a nice bit of levity to the situation.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe musishian

Best wishes, and all will be well tomorrow. Recover soon!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJammies

Long time lurker, first time poster. Good luck, Jen! Many good healing vibes being sent your way. And, enjoy the legal drugs they give you for afterward.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Guskin

Jen, thanks for the laugh as always! You know how every woman says they think that Sandra Bullock and she would be great friends, if they ever met? Well, you're my Sandra Bullock! We think so much alike, it's almost spooky!

Oh, and I had the ablation two months ago. Total breeze! Didn't even have the 'discharge' that they said I'd have for a week after. No pain. No cramping. And (angels singing) not a single spot since then! Needless to say, DH is also a fan of the procedure now...

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertexpenguin

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