My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

John's Birthday Suit

It's my birthdy! And by "my" I mean it's john (the hubby of Jen)'s birthay. Granted, I don't usually speak of myself in the third person (unless I'm in the midst of seduction [which, admittedly, rarely works (but John never knows unless he tries!)]) was I?

Oh, yeah: It's my birhday!

I originally wanted to write about those Canadian Nazi carrots you can buy at Epcot, but then I figured I'd just show you a bunch of misspelled cakes, so my own misspellings look international. Because I'm crazy like that. And giving. Yep, John's a giver.

[eyebrow waggle]

Look! A misspelling!

I believe it's spelled "Shirk." And since I did avoid seeing the last movie, this kind of works.

Isn't this called an oxymaroon?

Although if you roll the "r" while reading it out loud, you'll sound just like Sherk! Go on. Try it.

See what I mean? Now, all together: "Grrrreet job, don-kay!"

This one also seems a little contradictionary:

"Stop that right this second! Don't make me pull this event over!"

And since you long-time Wreckies know how fond I am of Earth Day cakes...

Listen! Do you smell Epcot?

And finally, this is not a cake, but I've gotta say...

...I pay way more for Jen's pasties.

Hm? What's this? Jen's telling me "pasties" are also British meat pies.

John thinks she's trying to tell him something. [eyebrow waggle]

John also would like to know why Jen rolls her eyes so much.

And now, because it's my brithday, I want to give you something special. Yes, that's right: John wants to give you something.


[Barry White music]

Awwww yeahhh. Mmmmmmm, baaaby. John knows what you want:

Cake Wrecks stuff!

So, leave me a comment, and I'll pick the sexiest two to win personalized copies of Cake Wrecks. (I'll even let Jen sign 'em.) The next sexiest two will win Cake Wrecks wall calendars.

In fact, because I'm such a giver, we're going to give stuff away every day this week, with even *more* give-aways on Facebook. Who loves me? Who is it? Oh yeah, it's you. Mmmhmmm. Happy briday to ME.

Check tomorrow's post for the winner's names, and also for your next chance to win stuff. Also watch the CW Facebook page this week for more chances to win exclusive CW pin packs and assorted goodies.

« Somebody Check Those Brownies... | Main | Prime Candidates »

Reader Comments (768)

when i see pasties i don't think of food (eyebrow waggle)

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChava Malka Cooper

Happy Brithdey! Who you callin' pasty? I may be pale (it is fall, you know) but you're gettin' a bit personal, now.
catsch1 (at) yahoo (dot) com

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercathy


It's my birthday on Saturday. Hopefully there will be cake but no cake wrecks, HAHA!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStarry

Those are some cheap pasties!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiane

Nappy Blob Blob John!!

You guys gonna go to Epcot to celebrate? (;

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMollie

When wearing only pasties, one shouldn't eat pasties.

You choose which of the pasties is "not the pasties you're looking for".

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAi

Hippy Brithday John!

I hope that Jen jumps out of a cake with nothing but little "Mohawk babies riding carrots", piped onto the best places to nibble.

(I think I kept that PG enough for the younger readers.)

I know my husband always likes licking frosting off my body. I find that it isn't quite as sexy when I put it on my elbows as when I put it on places usually covered by clothing. *wink* *wink*

In other exciting brifday suggestions, have you considered the advantages of frosting being placed strategically on you? Maybe Jen could make you the carrot? *chuckle*

Okay, not that I have at least cracked myself up, and it isn't even my Ear Day, I will leave you with this last thought.

Hoardest: Jon would be hoardest if he got Jen to eat and then ride his "carrot." (I am sure it is just another intentional misspelling.)

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJuliaKoponick

Is pregnant sexy currently?
Happy birthday!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentererinlou80

Pasties are things which Cornish miners used to carry in their pockets.

This seems wrong, somehow.

I got this information from a board game called Steel Driver.

This seems horribly wrong.

But all British food sounds like it was named on a dare...

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermoofrank

Oh Ros, Pasties are meat and potato foldover pies that Welch miners took for lunch. They are pronounced "past-ees" - with the short A.

Pasties "paste-ees" appeal to other male senses - usually not edible, being sometimes tasseled accessories that are pasted onto what it is that males like to see bouncing around on mostly naked females/strippers.

Ah, the balance between crudities and crudites :-). Norine

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy Birthday, John!

I think dating a Brit has ruined my eye for bad grammar... I saw "pasties" and didn't think anything of it!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura M.

'Twould not be fair for me to compete in the contest, so I'll just wish you a happy birthday. I shan't sing, so it won't end early.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Fat Lady Sings Online

Kara would like to wish John a happy birthday!! :-)

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKara Lynn

It's my sister's birthday today too! And she kinda has a crush on you but that was supposed to be a secret....

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermandy

Now, in Spanish...

Apio Verde a Ti,
Apio Verde a Ti,
Apio Verde al Juan,
Apio Verde a Ti! a CW sort of way. No, thank my high school spanish teacher.

Everything is sexier in a foreign language!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternursemom

Hey, John...wanna visit Spaceship Earth with me? If you know what I mean?! Huh? Do ya? Hmmmmm?

Oh hell, never mind...I suck at this.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstudiorose

Happy Birthday John, it's my Gram's birthday too. She's 92 today! =)

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlaura

I won the sexiest costume at a costume party on saturday night. But I think its because I embodied the most sexes in my costume. I was a girl going as a boy who dresses up like a girl. Yup, I was a drag queen.

Also, you wouldn't have to pay shipping of the book if I win because you can give it to your friend BJ who I'm in choir with.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVirginiaVanBuren

I actually picture Mike Myers playing his Scottish father in So I Married An Axe Murderer saying the "grrreet!!!" Obviously same voice, but different image! Sad, I know.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy Birthday, John! My husband's name is also John so while I could say something really sexy to you on your birthday, it would be, well... just weird!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarsha

Happy Birthday John!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

/me singing ala Marilyn Monroe "Happy Birthday Mr. Cake Rex" Hmm would that make you cake King? Perhaps for the day I suppose. Anyhow have a great birthday this post cracked me up. Heh.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Happy birthday, John! In an effort to be the sexiest, this comment tried to unbutton her blouse but realized she didn't have one, since she's pixellated text. So now she's trying to order a sexy chewbacca costume so you'll think she's sexy. I don't have the heart to tell her she couldn't put it on, either.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

The sexiest two.

(You said you'd pick the sexiest two, so there it is.)

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

"fatio"? I got fatio for a word verification lol. Love the Sherk! we're big sherk fans around here lol. Happy Birthday John!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersmscott

Happy Birthday! I love Cake Wrecks! I now look for wrecks every time I am at the store/bakery or whatever.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany

I have nothing witty or sexy to say so I will go with the traditional HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN!!!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Happy birthday! LOVE the pasties sign!!! Thanks for getting my day started with a laugh!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Happ y brithday Jonh!! Hope it is Greet!!!!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertulipdjc

hSaEpXpSy EbXiSrEtXhSdEaXy!

Because what's sexier than subliminal messaging?

Have a fabulous birfday.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristi

Happy Birthday aaaaaannd I feel a little dirty after reading this post.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Hoppy Bird-Legs John.

Have a very sexy birthday.

Oh and Fluffycow, that's my kind of foreplay!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterearlleen

First you have to shave your head. Take off your shirt, and put on black jeans and cowboy boots. Hold your hands up behind your head.
Then you can gyrate around singing
"I'm too sexy for my cake, too sexy for my cake, too sexy for my cake...!"

I know I probably lost you at the shave your head part.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStacy Q

So, I'm guessing if John is doing the judging that I, as a man, have next to no chance of being judged the sexiest. But here's hoping.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndy

Happpy Birtday, Jhn. They have pastie (fried hand sandwiches in Michigan. According to my father-in-law, the were originally made for the lumber men as they went off for the day. They not only were good for eating, but kept their pockets warm!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSewconsult

Your "birhday", huh?


WV - subcal: Every subcal performance deserves a "cease the moment" cake!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Happy Burfday John!

You can nibble my pasties any time you want to......................... bearing in mind they are indeed meat pies I'm afraid! Further to a previous comment, the thick crust of a Cornish miner's pasty was thrown away as it would end up covered in coal dust from being fingered....nudge, nudge, wink, wink, eh? Eh?

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

I love misspellings that completely change the meaning.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteremilie

Happy Birthday to both of us! Tara likes cakes too and is seriously hoping her's? hers? (this third person gets confusing) MY cake is worthy to be called a wreck...

John... pasties... Tara is highly amused (or scared)

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertjbmurph

A sexy off eh? I hot this.


November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLogan

But were they edible pasties?? happy bday!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoni

*A large cake is rolled in. Written boldly upon the top in brown chocolate poo font is "HAPPIE BURTHDAY JOAN!" But it gets better... seconds later in a shower of rainbow sprinkles, a woman wearing St. Patrick's Day shamrock bongles on her head and a rainbow two piece bathing suit begins to croon* "It's my... *Nervous looking around as she hums...picks up brightly off key* ..birthday and i'll cry if i want tooooo!"

Indeed. Have a good one!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercora DeHaven

Hippy Bidet to ya, Joan!
(I'm keeping it clean, so I couldn't say "john," right?)

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEve

Happy Birthday!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteramandawk

do you know what's sexy? the fact that the great pumpkin has gone back to his maker, waiting to be reborn until next year. It looks like before he left, he laughed and then took a crap on all of these cakes. His rotting flesh creates evil and potent misspelling magic.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Happy Birthday baby-cakes! (sexy, huh???)

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjcyc21

The best part about birthdays is the" rel="nofollow">song!

And you smell like one too!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

Chicks love the eyebrow waggles.

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSoupAddict Karen

Cornish pasties have meat & vegetables in them - a complete meal! Recipe available at:

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPenny Gardner

Ahem (In a sexy Marylin Monroe Voice) Happy Birthday Mr. Cake Wrecker... Happy Birthday toooo yooouuu. -May your cake be cream filled!

November 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPandora

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