My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Totally Stuffed

Alright, turkeys, ya fat blobs of fowl: ASSUME THE POSITION!

No, no, you're all too stiff! Look alive, now - get those legs out! Spread eagle!

Good, now, hold it - hooold it...


Good work.

Well, except for you, Tom:

Seriously, Tom, we have got to work on those legs.

Ok, now that we're all warmed up, let's get right to today's topic: "purging" your "stuffing."

My friends, this is not the answer.

Neither are explosive clean-outs:

Look, we all know these displays are distasteful, so let's stop the cycle of shame!

And take heart from the example of our own Admiral Ackbar, a former stuffing purger, who went from this:

To this:

(He assures us it's an improvement.)

Thanks to Libbie M., Beth G., Stevi A., Maida S., Gina B., Corie I., & Rebecca, who are convinced the Ackbar turkey is a trap.

« Wrecks of Plenty | Main | It's About Standards »

Reader Comments (79)

Awwww.... Admiral Ackbar...good comparison and one of my fav Star Wars characters. He never says too much or too little, he's always "just right " !

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNonna Beach

Little green turkey (CW#) with the cutesie pacifier and teeny weeny plump legs... urgently needs a diaper change!

MC from NZ

WV: expopr - these turkeys have expopr'ed all their stuffing.

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow, those cakes are real turkeys!

And cake #2... I think I've seen a movie scene of teenage girls lying on a couch that way, teaching an "innocent". I guess they're going to *really* enjoy the stuffing process? (Where are the cakes from yesterday when you need them!)

Lastly... I guess turkey cakes are for those who consider real turkey to be a "dry miserable bird". If you can't roast a turkey, serve your long-suffering guests a turkey cake?

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

The first one looks like it has a suspicious growth of hair on the top. And the third one reminds me of a bizarre cross between a whale, a fish, an alien, and an octopus. Don't ask me why.

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClara J.

Why, just why.

I just truly hope no one bought any of these. Even as a joke. Please do not encourage this madness.

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I agree with MomCat. Number one is definitely raw. Ugh. Eating raw turkey will make you "number 2". Which takes us to Cake 6......Have these people never seen a real turkey? One has to wonder.

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG those cakes were hiscous! I'm really blown away by the little tiny legs on that one cake, and then the other cake with obvious frosting blobs for legs. Wow. and ewwwwww.

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I'm amazed at the neat rows of the spread eagle turkeys. The implication is that many people will look at that monstrosity and think, "Oh yeah, this is a fantastic way to spend my money!"

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSif

Ugh. Those cakes are completely unappealing.

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

some of these are actually better than what I found in my local wreckery. I looked around and made sure no one was looking then pulled out my phone...annnd.. realized I forgot to charge it sorry I'll try better

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That Ackbar cake also kind of looks like one of the Ood from Doctor Who. Which makes it even less appealing. *shudders*

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEvvie

that is creepy how ackbar-ish that last cake looks!

and fate has spoken - WV says potie... which is what most of those turkeys look like they should have done before they left the house.

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT

Blech-those do not make me want to eat cake

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's so funny that this was your post today! I was at our local Hyvee, and took a photo of a very similar cake wreck from there. I guess I can send it in still.. just to hear your commentary!

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

LarenH, I love the "Roasted Turkey" sign too. Especially because it identifies the product as a "culinary delight"!

WV: Firess - the person who fires the Wreckers?

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh man are those ever disgusting lol. Especially the ones that look like stuffing was put in with a fire cracker. Sheesh. Almost put me off turkey but I will prevail!

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Odd as it may sound, these wrecks remind me of a quote from 'The Muppet Family Christmas'. Doc, frustrated with the Swedish Chef that keeps mistaking various characters for the Christmas turkey shouts, "The TURKEY's the turkey, you turkey!" Kudos to everyone involved in the production of that special. Still precious and relevant all these years later. RIP Jim Henson.

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSwan

oh mai so funni. thanks

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

omg #6 has tentacles!!! it must have been a Chernobyl fowl

-Barbara Anne

P.S. poor Admiral Akbar deserves better treatment than this!

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My only original thought was "Number 17: The Spread Eagle!" Guess I've watched "Chicago" too many times.

We are not having turkey for Thanksgiving, and after seeing these cakes, I'm glad! I am making a wondeful pumpkin pie that will look and taste wonderful. Can't say the same for these wrecks! Well, the look anyway.

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Don't hurry when decorating the cake. After all, it's a once in a lifetime phenomenon. You don't want to spoil it by keeping everything off for the eleventh hour. Space out your regimen. If possible have a rehearsal cake decoration session before the actual wedding, kind of like a rehearsal dinner.

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdenver restaurants

I am thankful for many things. For one, that I shall not see any of these on a table near me this season. Please.

#1 Raw?! Why not put a bag around it and be done with it? I know just the kind of bag to use, too: "Hefty, hefty, hefty!"

#2 At least they're not shin... nope, they are. Shiny cakes are so last year.

#3 is just fowl. It has so many problems, it is hard to know where to start. Green, curly wings... what the flock is it stuffed with?! And only one piece of candy corn -- that has to be against some law or other right there. 'Culinary Delight', indeed. How about 'Diet Aid'.

#4 has a cartoonish quality that could make it ok, but I am just about certain the stuffing doesn't go in THAT end.

#5 Looks like the gold spray paint ignited in the oven. Wreckerators, if you're going to paint a cake, at least use something non-flammable.

Speaking of which, #6 seems to have been left in the oven about a day too long. Is that ash at the front?

#7 "As a matter of fact, I do come from a place where turkeys are unknown. How did you know? At least mine isn't green with curly wings!"

#8 I believe that's Admiral Ackbar.

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Additional note on #1, keying on the 'Sam'n'Ella' comment: "Aunt Listeria, you shouldn't have. No, I mean really."

Knowing that it is cake, I still wouldn't eat it. Gives a whole new meaning to 'turkey trot'.

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Great cake. But a flop show for one who loves turkey..... anyway have fun

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSasmita

One of the legs above Adm Ackbar looks like it needs a circum...(oh never mind!) And to "Tom Turkey" - BREATHE, MAN, YOU'RE COLOR IS TERRIBLE!!"

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

it's a trap!! haha

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterYayo

Turkey: "An event that fails badly or is totally ineffectual".

Yep. That about sums it up.

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCake Cop

Are you a breast or thigh, man?

Let's look on the bright side.... At least the vegetarians get to eat turkey. Now who wants to carve?

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCake Cop

It's not an improvement, IT'S A TRAP!


November 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRedHead

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