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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Feb082010

European!

Here's a bizarre message to find in a London display case:


Now, according to Mary there actually was an ATM behind her when she snapped this photo, so I guess it's a kind of edible FAQ page. Still, my question is: Where's the ATM when it's NOT behind me? And why even advertise where the broken toilets are?

Maybe it's some kind of European thing, Mary. You know: European? As in, you're...a...pee'in? Eh? Eh? Bazinga!

- Related Wreckage: Cake Writing 101: The Art of Spacing

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Reader Comments (128)

it's probably missing a comma:
Cash machine behind you often broken,
toilets downstairs

Makes more sense that way I think!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteree

Maybe that's why the British are known for having bad teeth. They write their public notices in icing on giant cookies.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@MyOlderBrothers

I understand it as "the cash machine is broken, the toilets are downstairs" but why on cake?! XD

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElodie

i think it's just a case of bad punctuation - maybe it should read:

Cash machine behind you often broken. toilets downstairs.

if only those cookie cakes were more clear! i bet the cookie manager gets a lot of questions about where the fixed toilets are. :)

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentervery married

I haven't commented in a while, but that's just so bizarrely funny!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe the employees just got really tired of answering those same questions over and over. Now all they have to do when asked, "Where's an ATM?" is to point at that cookie cake! Hilarious!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah

Oh that is beautiful.

I bet the owner of the bakery gets both of those questions 50 times a day, so they just made a cake and could point to it ;)

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

That's just SAD!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

The toilets aren't broken the atm is, the toilets are just downstairs.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe cash machine=dad?

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

I think it's supposed to be "cash machine behind you often broken" and "Toilets downstairs" :-)

Love your site!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

I don't claim to understand this message, but I know that the Brits have some weird thing about toilets. In TV shows, cartoons, etc., if you just mention toilets or show a picture of one or play a "flushing" sound effect, apparently everyboy in Britain collapses in paroxysms of laughter. Go figure.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I suppose this is a case of not enough punctuation: "Cash machine behind you; often-broken toilets downstairs." So, occasionally, if you make your way downstairs, the toilets will be working. But not often.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterACM

I took it to say that the cash machine was often broken, toilets were downstairs. Still bazaar to put on a cookie. It just seems wrong to put 'toilet' on something edible.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sometimes pure sarcasm is hard to read but I see how the pie/cake is hard to understand. When I read it though I thought it was "Cash machine behind you often broken" and "toilets downstairs."

Either way you look at it I hope this isn't becoming the norm. Then again, if all informational signs became cake that would make road trips more enjoyable!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKevin Phair

Regardless of which is broken, I'm loving the Sheldon reference. I'm sure he would be just as confused though.....

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle P

that's weird, my wv is epcot.
ok not realy, but it should be.
-anon

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Just a little note out to Gary:

Washington's looking might balmy today doncha' think?

Tee! hee! hee! ;-)

I think I'll cancel that winter vacation flight to the states :D

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

My question is: How LONG has that cookie been there?! Has anyone purchased one and they had to remake it?

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara

It was a message for the maintenance guy and the baker was to busy to stand around and wait to give these instructions.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkarina

Bazinga! That's so awesome! lol That cookie is confusing. Why write public notices on a cookie?

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Those crazy, cakey Brits!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

I think they're tired of answering stupid questions!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara

The way I read this post when Jen wrote it was:

1: What in the world does that cookie say? Okay, got it.

2: Wait, I'm confused. What does she mean "when they aren't behind me?"

3. (Looking back at picture) LOL

See it's funnier when you read it the way it's written.

*sigh*

john

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

Personally, I prefer the ball pit bazinga. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VwrCZa3aKo

It also answers the question of where the ATM is when it's not behind you...why, lying in wait and ready to strike, of course.

Perhaps the noting of the broken toilets is to warn you about their 'pissy' dispositions due to a lack of working facilities.... ;o)

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSquirrel

I am from the UK ...maybe it is because I live in a city that we have plastic and paper available for sign making!

I have a British sense or humour (oh except toilets- err not funny!)& British teeth, but I dont get the sign-cookie!

And EWWW at the thought of broken toilets and icing/baked goods!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Love the Big Bang Theory reference. It's one of my favorite shows at the moment.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterncsudancelover

Honestly people! How can you have read this blog for any amount of time and not get Jenn's sense of humour? She's not an idiot! She get's that the message reads weird because of the lack of punctuation and everything. If you find yourself writing a comment telling her how she has misunderstood something, do yourself a favour and delete it. It makes you look stupid. Jenn is smarter than you, that's why she's so funny.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't care what it should or shouldn't say or where it is or isn't missing a comma. I only want to know WHY IS IT WRITTEN ON A CAKE???

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPicks of the Chick

Bizarre indeed. I'm stumped as to the "why" of this one...

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Bizarre.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Sounds kinda creepy, almost. Reminds me of the Doctor Who episode "Blink".

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My Epcot Sense is tingling....
Thanks to this post I now want all correspondence in giant cookie note form. I wonder if there's an email version....

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGiana

This is just creepy. And why is it written in poo-colored icing?

Also, Jenn, I love the argument over whether you "get it" or not. At least you have loyal fans!

Not as snarky, but clever: http://www.eatthisreview.com/

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is a chain of cookie shops in the UK, I used to work there. Trust me, those giant cookies on display have been there for a while.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaitlin

Note to the Epcotters: I think she knows it was supposed to be 'cash machine behind you broken often/ toilet downstairs' :)

On the other hand, I prefer to think of each line separately.
Cash machine - OK, there's a cash machine
Behind you often - That's a little creepy (assuming the decorator was a narrator here, as in I'M behind you often)
Broken toilet - It happens!
Downstairs - Well that explains where you are on the rare occasion you're not behind me!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

hmmm, yes, Epcot warning at orange.

Just enjoy the humor - of course it's missing punctuation.

And I'm with Sara - do you think anyone has ever tried to buy it? I mean, it has such mass appeal...

EV: excize - If only wreckerators could excize some common sense and patience, they might not end up on this site.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBek

now here's a situation where a little punctuation (or capitalization, even!) would have helped.

wv: addle, to shake. As in, I wanted to addle the person who wrote this faq cookie since it made no sense.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This has to be a fake or old and not-for-sale item they put in the case to tell people where the ATM and bathrooms are. I think it's clever.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As an apology for patronizing this flawed place of business, we get to have some cake, right?

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjj

Bahahahahaha! This reminds me of a joke I always tell: If you're a Russian to the bathroom, what are you when you get inside? European! (read out loud for best effect) :]

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermollymouse

This is awesome. Rest assured I will save this and use it in a grammar lesson to teach students the crafty nuances of punctuation.

Mostly, though, I'm impressed by how much information they were able to cram onto a cookie cake!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Where I work I have people all the time asking where something is and I say "behind you" (and usually the response is "oh I didn't think to look there"...of course they didn't think to look, that's why they asked me).

The clerks probably got tired of saying "behind you" when people looked for the ATM and saying "downstairs" for the toilets.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M.

Well, from a Brit with perfect teeth: I've never seen anything like this! All I can guess is that, like the other comments, the staff just got fed up with answering those questions time after time & thought of a novel way to have a sign up! But it IS bizarre....
Oh, & while we Brits do have a fairly - ahem - earthy sense of humour, I think that you'll find Gary that it's the Germans who are renowned for laughing at anything remotely bottom or lavatory related! x

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMozart's Girl

You get so many points for referencing The Big Bang Theory. Did you see the newest "Bazingasode" in the ball pit? Freakin' funny, man.

Anyway, you gotta wonder...how long has that cookie been sitting there? Or do they remake an identical one every so often?

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

I never really understood the "Epcot warning at orange" comment until today. Thanks, LaurenH!

I think more stores need to write FAQs on food. Who needs real signs?

- bel

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's everything a message cake should be: Educational, Entertaining, Eye-catching, and Edible!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Shitty Astrologer

When I was in high school I worked at one of those cookie places in the mall.

I swear, everyone thought that we were the freaking customer service desk - only with cookies. I wish that we had come up with the idea to put "Chick-Fil-A around the corner, bathrooms behind you" on a cookie. That would have saved us so much time, LOL

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Nothing like curiosity to get the cutomer in the door! Brillant!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergirlyrugby

I think it is smart---then people will stop coming in and asking THEM about those two things---I would have hung a sign--not written it on a cake!

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLucky Larson's

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