My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Five Awesome Things

[UPDATE: We have our winners! Grammy of Grammy's Garden and ZekesMom10 of Insane in the Mombrain, please e-mail me with your addresses. Thanks!]

Every now and then, we get comments from readers that go something like this:

"You know that cake you posted today? It wasn't that bad! Sure it was misspelled, and the icing looked like someone had spread it on with their tongue, and there was that feces border and thumb print - oh, and the dead bug was kinda gross. But did you see that rose?! Gorgeous!"


Well today, in honor of our friend Neil over at 1000 Awesome Things and the rest of you positive Pollyannas, we picked out a few Wrecks from our arsenal - and we're going to find something awesome to say about each and every one of them. Even if it kills us. Which, let's be honest, is entirely possible.


*pulling up happy pants*

Here we GOOOO!

Hey, it looks just like corn! And corn's a great source of fiber! Cleans you right out! And clean colons are awesome!

Look how artfully arranged the tablecloth is! The folds are so even! So regular! Being regular is also awesome.



I love noisemakers.

Not that you'd want to put these in your mouth, of course, considering where they've been...but, uh...yeah. Noisemakers are awesome.

Gee, that looks like a really sharp knife! It probably cut right through that hideous scarecrow thing, no sweat! In fact, I bet whoever cuts cheese with that knife doesn't have to strain at all.

Not straining while cutting the cheese? You guessed it: AWESOME.

Alright, now we're on the home stretch! [rubbing hands together] Bring on the final contender!

Oh, crap.

I mean, uh, oooo. Tough one.

Sure, there's a full load of things I could say here, but not many would be what you'd call "awesome." Hmm.




[back to thinking]

Ok, I think I got it:

You tell me.

That's right, tell me what's awesome about this Wreck in the comments. Why? Well, mostly for the glory. But also because you just might win Neil's book:

I've already read it, and believe me, it lives up to its name. And speaking of names, mine's on the back cover. So that's worth the purchase price right there. (Did I mention it's also half off on Amazon right now? Yeah. That helps.)

Now go forth, and comment! Whoever makes me laugh the hardest wins the glory, while two randomly selected commenters will actually win a personalized and signed copy of The Book of Awesome. I'll even have Neil do the personalizing and signing. [waggling eyebrows]

Oh, and Neil is willing to ship anywhere in the world. So Estonia, I'm looking at you.

Chloe, Tosha B., Anony M., Molly C., Jeff H., & Rachel V., go make me proud.

- Related Wreckage: The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake

[John's rule type stuff]
When you comment, be sure to put your name. If your name is something boring like John, be sure to follow it up with something creative like (the hubby of Jen). Or, ya know, your last name. And remember, we're picking two winners at random so if you happen to be painfully unfunny like me, you can still win. Winners will be announced at 2pm (Eastern) on Friday. Finally, if you don't win, you should still buy the book. We could all stand to focus a little more on the awesome in life. Good luck and Wreck On!

UPDATE: We have our winners! (See the top of this post.) Thanks, everyone; your comments have been the best free entertainment I've had all week. ;)

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Reader Comments (2218)

So we know who gets the books (congrats winners), but who gets the GLORY? And what, no book for the funniest comment?

*channels Janis Joplin*

Neil, won't you give me your awesome little book?
I left a funny comment, go and take a look.
Made a geeky reference for a cake that'd make you puke,
Oh, Neil, I wanna read your awesome little book."

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarianne from Ontario

is that caramel oozing out underneath? i love caramel. focusing only on the potential caramel. could be awesome.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteramy jordan

Congrats to Granny & Zeke's Mom. How about sharing the winning comments so we don't have to navigate thru 16 pages looking for them?

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The slimy poop monster is slowly rising from the innocent looking ganache covered cake. See what it's suppose to look like:

The excrement monster from the movie, Dogma. I KNEW it looked familiar!

Sharon's Edible Art

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Look how clean the stove is! Cleanliness is good.

It's shiny.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterarscuore

Hey it is made purely of chocolate and chocolate is yummy.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristi Barron

Plop! Plop!
Gee Whiz!
Oh, what a relief it is!

If the wreckerator had dung doo'd it correctly (get it? instead of done..oh well....), it should have looked like the Golgathan demon in the movie Dogma:

Yes, I know I've posted this before, but my mind is now soiled with this image and I can't stop thinking or posting about it.

Sharon's Edible Art

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

it is awesome they can get poop so shiny!

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJeanne

To ErinW:
You said you know what this was suppose to be...please enlighten us!

Sharon's Edible Art

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Clifford, the Big Red Dog left something behind.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMomofkings

This cake is a dieter's dream, after all, just looking at it will give your diet a jump start!

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAshli Welsh

Wow!! What a realistic rendering of the waste of the diceros bicornis (rhinoceros)! I'm very impressed with the bakery for their extensive knowledge of biology- at least somebody was paying attention in 9th grade science class!

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Crows love shiny things. And crows would FLOCK to that cake. And who doesn't love a murder of crows, right? Am I right?

Never more.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersquid

Hannah B. from Seattle- not straining while cutting the cheese. Exellent. :D

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm sure the last designer is a Mythbusters fan - they're the ones who proved it was possible to polish a turd.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLorelei

The reflection in the surface makes me look so skinny!

Kevin V.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOceanSwells

i love how the icing is so wonderfully shiny but what i like more is the one little spot at the bottom that the icing missed.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertexasmom3aaa

WOW sorry I missed all this! I just wanted to say I LOVE the expression "pulling up your happy pants." Stealing that. Bye now.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

What can Brown do for you?! Finally a tribute to UPS! That cake is a truckload of awesome!

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJo-Anne

I asked for a Jabba the hutt cake and this is what I got...yupp pretty much looks like a pile of turd...they NAILED him
Kelly Palmer

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKen and Kelly

Over 3,000 comments. I can't read them all to see if someone already mentioned that John (the husband of Jen) you should stop fishing for compliments. You know as well as we do that you're hilarious.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

I'm too late obviously, but my first thought is that Elsie the cow has resolved her constipation issue. Happy cows are awesome!

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It is chocolate.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercherish

If that's chocolate and you eat it all, you'll be bound up and not be able to create anything like that. If it's Exlax and you eat it all, you will.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatsandCattleyas

The Wicked Witch of Chocolate screamed ........ "I'm melting"

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatsandCattleyas

My very own meadow muffin!

It's not Brussels sprouts. THAT's awesome!

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDaltrey

That's one awesome marble cake plate they got goin over there!!!

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercelty

It's nice and shiney,Ms Weyand.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhotclaws is chocolate. Isn't it? Chocolate is good, no matter what it looks like. Right?

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBekah and Jim

hey, at least it makes all the other cakes feel good about themselves!!

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhanna

You know I bet that cake was made just to keep people who were on diets from buying a cake. But, hey, you can still tell that it is a cake and that is at least an accomplishment in comparison to some of the cake wrecks I've seen.

Megan K.

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

I'd be willing to bet that that cake is chocolate flavored. And chocolate is AWESOME!

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Axsoms

I'd be willing to bet that that cake is chocolate. And chocolate is AWESOME!


April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Axsoms

It's on just shows how impressive and awesome they are. plus it shows that can afford "the best" lol

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The chocolate is so glossy it looks like satin! And what a fine marble slab! Also, the person who made this cake obviously had some of the colon cleaning corn cake, and later produced this.

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMommynatrix

It's chocolate! That's awesome!

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

Oh, It's on marble...Marble is great for making fudge...Fudge is awesome!

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJohn & Heidi

I'm just jealous that I did not produce this one myself!

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I give this bakery a thumbs up for getting in touch with their animal activist spirit and creating a home for the many ants in their showcase. Killing two birds with one stone, bravo. -Katie Gigliotti

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I give this bakery a thumbs up for getting in touch with their animal activist side by creating their very own ant hill for all the ants in their showcase. Killing two birds with one stone, bravo. -Katie Gigliotti

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That a bear could have such remarkable aim on the pork pie hat sinking into the ... quicksand.


April 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMoBurn

Oooh Chocolate, I love chocolate.

April 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternoble

All that frosting... and they still miss a spot on the side!

April 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Chocolate! (Repeat a lot!) I am chocolate obsessed!

Sandtalon (For you Warrior cat fans out their, yep, that is a Warrior name)

April 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Come on, Jen! Can't you tell the baker put a sh*tload of work into this cake? It just reeks of awesomeness! - Christina from NYC

April 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It is very shiny. I like shiny things. Shiny is awesome

April 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKara Mueller


April 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSweet August

Holy crap, look at the shelack job on that puppy! Incredible.

April 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersiz

The hospitality division had everyone's needs accommodated--even the flies! It's a beautiful fly bungalow...see the little door in the front? How very considerate!

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