My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Five Awesome Things

[UPDATE: We have our winners! Grammy of Grammy's Garden and ZekesMom10 of Insane in the Mombrain, please e-mail me with your addresses. Thanks!]

Every now and then, we get comments from readers that go something like this:

"You know that cake you posted today? It wasn't that bad! Sure it was misspelled, and the icing looked like someone had spread it on with their tongue, and there was that feces border and thumb print - oh, and the dead bug was kinda gross. But did you see that rose?! Gorgeous!"


Well today, in honor of our friend Neil over at 1000 Awesome Things and the rest of you positive Pollyannas, we picked out a few Wrecks from our arsenal - and we're going to find something awesome to say about each and every one of them. Even if it kills us. Which, let's be honest, is entirely possible.


*pulling up happy pants*

Here we GOOOO!

Hey, it looks just like corn! And corn's a great source of fiber! Cleans you right out! And clean colons are awesome!

Look how artfully arranged the tablecloth is! The folds are so even! So regular! Being regular is also awesome.



I love noisemakers.

Not that you'd want to put these in your mouth, of course, considering where they've been...but, uh...yeah. Noisemakers are awesome.

Gee, that looks like a really sharp knife! It probably cut right through that hideous scarecrow thing, no sweat! In fact, I bet whoever cuts cheese with that knife doesn't have to strain at all.

Not straining while cutting the cheese? You guessed it: AWESOME.

Alright, now we're on the home stretch! [rubbing hands together] Bring on the final contender!

Oh, crap.

I mean, uh, oooo. Tough one.

Sure, there's a full load of things I could say here, but not many would be what you'd call "awesome." Hmm.




[back to thinking]

Ok, I think I got it:

You tell me.

That's right, tell me what's awesome about this Wreck in the comments. Why? Well, mostly for the glory. But also because you just might win Neil's book:

I've already read it, and believe me, it lives up to its name. And speaking of names, mine's on the back cover. So that's worth the purchase price right there. (Did I mention it's also half off on Amazon right now? Yeah. That helps.)

Now go forth, and comment! Whoever makes me laugh the hardest wins the glory, while two randomly selected commenters will actually win a personalized and signed copy of The Book of Awesome. I'll even have Neil do the personalizing and signing. [waggling eyebrows]

Oh, and Neil is willing to ship anywhere in the world. So Estonia, I'm looking at you.

Chloe, Tosha B., Anony M., Molly C., Jeff H., & Rachel V., go make me proud.

- Related Wreckage: The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake

[John's rule type stuff]
When you comment, be sure to put your name. If your name is something boring like John, be sure to follow it up with something creative like (the hubby of Jen). Or, ya know, your last name. And remember, we're picking two winners at random so if you happen to be painfully unfunny like me, you can still win. Winners will be announced at 2pm (Eastern) on Friday. Finally, if you don't win, you should still buy the book. We could all stand to focus a little more on the awesome in life. Good luck and Wreck On!

UPDATE: We have our winners! (See the top of this post.) Thanks, everyone; your comments have been the best free entertainment I've had all week. ;)

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Reader Comments (2218)

Well, according to Urban Dictionary, AWESOME is a 'sticking plaster' word used by Americans to cover over the huge gaps in their vocabulary. Kinda like the way the creator of this cake used melted poo-icing to cover over what I'm sure is an AWESOME cake underneath!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

the marble slab is probably easy to disinfect after the cake is done away with! and clean marble slabs are awesome!


April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~m

Well. Hm. This is hard.. Really hard. Like others have already mentioned; It's shiny. And shiny is always a good thing, right!? Shiny bald heads and**p. Another thing. It's obviously made of lots of chockolate, so it probably tastes good. Probably. And it looks like a mountain! I love mountains! Especially shiny chocolate mountains! Maybe the baker had an experience resembling the potatomash-happening in "Close Encounters". And sci-fi movies is AWESOME!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNinja

It looks super glossy? And chocolaty. And uhh... I'd totally eat that . chocolate. mhhm. Where'd I leave my cookies?

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEyes Wide Open

It's shiny! Shiny things are nice.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSisterMaryKate

That tart in the front left corner looks fabulous!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

All it's needs is a fly and it would be "AWESOME".

Maggie Pike

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Being afraid of the dark is NOT awesome, and cakes get scared too. When covering a cake with an intense amount of ganache, this baker conveniently left a little hole or nightlight, if you will, and consideration for others is awesome.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Probably the best thing about the beehive-shaped pile of poo is that I didn't have to smell, touch, or taste it. Let's face it, some cakes are just so repulsive it's hard to remember they're just cake. But hey, that's why it's so awesome. It's so life-like! Life-like is awesome. Right? Right?

-Rebekah L. at ASU.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah

OOOOooo! Shiny! And Edward is shiny, right? You know? Edward from that Twilight thing? Or was he sparkly? Anyhow,...

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah

That high-gloss finish and those distressed edges must have taken hours to complete! This baker would make any HGTV host insanely jealous.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWalter

That last one is... so... well, smooth and shiny. Like... something (averting eyes) left out in the hot sun on a humid day. And the sun is good! Happy happy! Even if you are like me and have to avoid it, in order to minimize your risk of skin cancer or something.


April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ooh! Shiny! It really brings out the brown!


April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKamity

I do believe that that last cake is the exact shade that my yoga instructor had in mind when he was counseling us on the optimum pooh. Course, he also said it should float - which I don't think this cake could. . . But optimum pooh-color is Awesome!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterML

It looks like it came out nice and smoothly, and that's always good.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRAK

All it needs is a fly on top and it's "AWESOME".

Maggie Pike

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I personally like that it's on a marble slab, lol.

Morgan Wilson

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

That marble slab must have cost at least $16.95 and fancy marble is AWESOME.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertheengagementproject

Is that a car dashboard it's resting on? In that case... could this be an AWESOME edible airbag? Yes: this puts the "ACK!" into "accident."

-Sonia from Germany

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's the cake that keeps on the Giving, yeah, that's it! See the bottom part...looks like a tree stump sporting a bodacious bee hive. Ah...*sniff, sniff* bees a home...such a kind tree...selfless tree...poopular tree.

Oops, sorry...Freudian slip... :-)

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen (the mom of four)

The best thing about that cake is that no one can possibly look at it without thinking, "I can do better than that!" Hundreds--nay, THOUSANDS--of potential Wreckerators who wouldn't have otherwise dared to bake will be pulling out their cake pans and mixing up their frosting. That means more laughs and more cake for us, and nuffink could be more awesome than MORE CAKE!

Beverly, aka Persistence

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

um...i like chocolate? so there appears to be a lot of it. that's kind of awesome.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHoupley

It's awesome because it makes the other cakes look pretty good! Way to take one for the team, Turd Cake; your selfless nobility is an inspiration to us all.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterp_mac

Unfortunately, Johnny always misheard the technique as "Vulcan mind-melt" and so he never had any friends, because, well, just look at what happens!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJ. Alan Atherton

The last cake looks a little like a beehive! And bees make honey! And honey has a mild laxative effect, which can keep your "pipes" from getting clogged! And unclogged pipes are awesome!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterabi

Um, yeah, the last cake is really, really shiny. And shiny is AWESOME. Really.

wv: precant. Disclaimer before admitting you are not able to do something (like come up with a funny and AWESOME comment about that horrible mess of a cake).

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShelley in Kansas

The cool marble slab is wonderful and it looks like the chocolate is nicely tempered by the beautiful, glossy shine! Two wonderful bits of praise for the swirly brown cake at the end! Allyson Francis of A Cook's Delight (, but I try to stay wreck-less!)

WV: dinest - After viewing some wrecks on this site, I prefer not to dinest for a while.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterafrancis

The chocolate icing is so shiny! I can never get mine to stay shiny like that...

How's that? ;-)

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAunt LoLo

The glaze is so smooth, so shiny, so much chocolatey yum, so awesome!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather T

Ooh, look at that lovely marble slab on which the oozing brown pile is set. That slab could very well be used for cutting cheese, couldn't it? 'Cuz that would be AWESOME if you did - cut the cheese on it, that is.

Anne-Marie McDonald

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What a beautiful sheen of the chocolate turd that any mouse would love to burrow into the perfectly trapezoidally shaped opening. Who wouldn't be pleased?

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDr. Russ

Becky Branscum says...

Awesome how durable that marble slab is, It can be dropped and not a crack in it still able to hold up the replica of Mt. Vesuvius!! Amazing!!!!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can see what the baker was thinking--these people keep buying and eating all my cake! I never get any! Aha, I know a sure-fire way that I'll be able to eat a whole cake by myself. Mwahahah!!

At least, that's what I would be thinking...


April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarcella

It's a very visually relaxing cake. It reminds us that things we normally think of us tough or hard can sometimes be more pliant than we believed. It tells us that sometimes there is no strain involved. Things can happen quickly, easily, and with little effort and maximum relief. It's a confection catharsis!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie T (Mama to 2 R's)

Underneath all that shine, it's just a regular cake, right? And regularity is ... well, awesome!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimmer

Wow, Mount St. Helens just two weeks after the eruption!! Awesome!!!!


April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

Wow, awesome depiction of a brown headless buddha! So realistic and creative!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPinar B.

It's a very visually relaxing cake. It reminds us that things we normally think of us tough or hard can sometimes be more pliant than we believed. It tells us that sometimes there is no strain involved. Things can happen quickly, easily, and with little effort and maximum relief. It's a confection catharsis!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie T (Mama to 2 R's)

There's so much chocolate in this cake that it would be medicinal for even the worst PMS day. (And medicine doesn't have to look pretty; it just has to alleviate the symptoms.)
Susan G in southeast Wisc

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

A la "Cheese" from the Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.

"I like Chocolate Milk!" *drool*
That's the first thing I thought of - and let's face it, Foster's is an AWESOME cartoon!!! My favorite is when my whole family sits around the table and does the Cheese vs. Eduardo....

"I like Chocolate Milk!"
"Si, and I like Potatos!"


doitagain! doitagain! doitagain! doitagain!

Even Daddy gets in on the action!

Ya - watching Cartoons with your kids is totally AWESOME! :)

Much love Jen and John!!

<3 Tiffany Bonnewell

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Imagine how satisfying it would be to throw THAT cake at someone who really deserved it. Think about the horror in their eyes as the chocolate mound of scary came flying at them. Delight in the image of chocolate goo and crumbs dripping down their face and sticking in their hair.

Now that is awesome.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaranam

Clearly, the last one is the spitting image of gloppy the chocolate monster from the beloved game Candyland! right? right?

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

That cake is so shiny the calories slide right off. Yeah, that's it..

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

One word:


I don't much care how bad something looks if I know, at its core, it is chocolate melted in heavy cream.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie P

It's chocolate, that's the good news right there! Crystal Landon

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

Estonia! Faugh! Who cares about Estonia? Send the book to Morocco! Cuz in Morocco, we know that last cake is AWESOME because, um...because, was made by a 5 year old! And 5 years olds are awesomely squeaky, especially when they don't actually live with you.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterplanetnomad

the shiny glossyness of er. whatever it is. makes my dull, lustre-less hair so jealous. obviously.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFarihah


Becca Ouren

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

What a beautiful marble board, it really brings out the complete lack of color in the cake!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKim

I guess with a pile that large, there must be a pony around here somewhere. Ponies are awesome!

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