Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Apr232010

Dolly Wants to Play...

There really is nothing more terrifying than a creepy baby doll. I'm serious. They freaked me out as a kid and still manage to scare the pants off me today, what with their static staring eyes and little outstretched zombie arms and all.

Thankfully, there's a new baking trend that makes these dolls waaaaaay less creepy. (I'm lying; these are terrifying. Proceed with caution.)

Don't... make... eye contact...

 

 

All tucked in, and ready to kill.

 

 


"Ooh! I'll take that corner piece..."

"...and an arm. But that's it. I'm dieting."


Note: This cake is not to scale.

 

 

Usually the pacifier is much larger.

Is it impolite to suck frosting off the baby's legs?

 

 

It is? Poor taste, huh?
...
Ok, what about its head?
...
No? Fine. I'll just collect my watermelon and show myself out.

 

Thanks, Valentina, Liz C., Carrie J., and Dana S.! Ya know, these cakes started out as creepy , but now they're looking kinda DELICIOUS. Mmmm.... babies.... grlslgrsagagagle.....

- Related Wreckage: Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party

 

« Sunday Sweets: Gettin' Crafty | Main | The Day the Spaceship Earth Stood Still »

Reader Comments (163)

I saw a bumper sticker the other day that read:

I LOVE CHILDREN!
they are delicious.

Creepy. And hilarious. And creepy.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershelleyjanae

I asked my 4 year old if he would like to eat those cakes and he said, "No way! Not with babies! Those are toys right? They look weird!" My thought exactly, haha.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMomLovesDeals

That 3rd one looks like they started to mummify the baby in pink wrappings!

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDebs

I should have heeded your warning. My husband is away and I'm alone for the weekend, I'm pretty sure that first one is going to come kill me in my sleep.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica W

I would never want a cake like this, but I am extremely curious as to how they did the basketweave blanket on the second cake shown... if it's buttercream, how did they get it to be drapey. It has me stumped.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeisel

#1 and #3 kind of look like scary vampire babies in coffins. These are horrible, worse than belly cakes...

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSand Mama

The only way to possibly make this any "better" (read:creepy) is if they use the creepy babies at Target that coo and giggle when you walk by. Even my daughter gets freaked out by the Creepy Baby Dolls as she calls them. Won't even go down that aisle any more because of them. Maybe I'll have to see if someone can decorate a cake with one. Wouldn't it be great to have the baby coo at your right before you cut into it? Yum!

WV: folis- Creepy Baby Cakes are what happens when you're pregnant and don't take your folis acid. Or maybe when you DO take your folis acid. It's a bad folis acid trip...

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthesacredandtheprofane

my friends think i'm weird because babydolls/dollbabies FREAK ME OUT.
I mean, their staring little eyes and faces... Creepy! The only doll I allowed to be given to my nearly-3-year-old was a cabbage patch kid, and that's because it's not too creepy.
who would eat the frosting around the babydoll... I'm a frosting junkie, but that's just, um, weird.

WV: engsaggi
what happens to your boobs after pregnancy/nursing.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjess

The first one looks like a Goth baby with heavy black eyeliner. If only it had a black-leather-and-metal-spiked-collar around its neck...

Rock on, righteous demon spawn!

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

AAAAHHHHHHH! HOW about a little spoiler space? Eh? For those of us with weak constitutions. *shudders*

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGreeblygreebly

The first one looks like it should be holding a sharp object in it's outstretched hand...*shudder*

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTori

I never liked baby dolls but my daughter LOVES them. She has one horid one my grandparents gave her which I have christened "Ugly doll".

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDani

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alferd_Packer

Either all of these cakes are from the Alferd G. Packer Bakery, or there's a contest somwhere to produce illustrations for Johnathan Swift's pamphlet, "A Modest Proposal."

Whatever the prize may be, the contest has a great many entries.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I am creeped out by dolls too, ever since going into an antique store when I was younger and they were selling a doll with no head. The first cake, brought me back to that store with the image fresh in on my mind.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Whoa. Zombie babies in frosting. 0_0

Just what the expectant mother wants at her baby shower, no?

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

The extra creepy part for me is that they look like they're being laid out on some sort of sacrificial cake altars. Eek!

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkara

The first one reminds me of the creepy serial killer baby ... Chucky, right ?
Scared the s*** out of me when I was a kid, and still gives me goosebump whenever I look at baby dolls (I sympathize with you Jen !)
Seriously, this cake could (COULD, as in a vague possibility) take my appetite of cakes ...
*shudders and grabs blankie*
wv: preot
Actually, in France, it's the protection for the children at school during recess so ...
Love from France
Naomi
PS : I keep looking, but French bakeries are :
- either aware of this website, and thus not making any wreck in order to protect the friendship between France and the US
- or very afraid of frosting, and thus are not using it ...
Your opinion on this, Jen ? Readers ?

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I hate to say this but they remind me of babies in caskets. I have been to a couple of infant funerals and the babies look like dolls in that state. Just creepy. Those cakes remind me of that. Yikes!

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarin D

Those are the types of dolls that I used to hide in my BROTHER'S room so that they wouldn't kill me in the middle of the night...!

Thanks for another awesome laugh!
;) Mags
magsgraphics.blogspot.com

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMags

About licking off frosting from awkward doll parts... For my high school graduation last year, I got a Naked Mohawk Baby Carrot Jockey cake (woot!) and of course the babies' lower halves are covered in frosting from their carrot mounts... Needless to say, there are now awkward photos of me with a plastic baby sticking out of my mouth. ;)

WV: Queexy. These cakes make my tummy feel queexy!

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSnivellus

@ Melinda
Your WV made me laugh so hard !
In phonetic, that would mean "little poop" in French, like when you talk to a kid .... "petit popo"
I'm still laughing, by the way :)
Thanks for the daily laugh and smile, I really need it!
- naomi

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"One, two...Dolly's coming for you.
Three, four...Better lock your door.
Five, six...These are scary cake pics.
Seven, eight...Better get a plate.
Nine, ten...Never eat again."

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMevo

I don't know why, but these make me gag and feel physically sick.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

That pacifier one -- Shush, Don't mention the baby's size, it's a preemie. Or has Napoleonic intentions...
And, my favorite, the watermelon. It's a before and after! See? Before I had this child I was THIS BIG?!! Get it?

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteryomama

What is the second baby laying it's head on? Is that paper towels? I diaper? I'm so confused....and scared. And Scarred...for life. Excuse me while I go dispose of all the baby dolls in the house.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

How many "Variations On A Theme By CREEPY" can there BE??
This post should be required reading for all those who'd like to both throw a shower AND keep their friends.
Or at least to warn the soon-to-be ex-friends about the risk of serving NIGHTMARES, and TREMORS and HIVES, OH MY!
=^-.-^=

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The moment I saw the first cake, I thought of "Bram Stoker's Dracula", replete with the creepy burial clothes Lucy was wearing.
--cpeter133

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For anyone who isn't familiar with the JoCo song previously mentioned:

tinyurl.com/3y5cmj

It's a free download (by the smiley face). And yes, that song's been in my head all day now.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSally-Anne

I like not to scale baby best for the strange creature-like blanket icing which seems to be consuming the lower half of poor little dolly's body (like the scarabs in The Mummy, or the ants in the 4th Indiana Jones, or the Blob in The Blob).

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSister Kate

the blue blanket on the one is really cute! but the rest of it is quite scary!!
Surfinsarah

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersarah

Is the third cake a bed or a coffin? Just wondering...

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNora

The cakes are creepy...but who takes a watermelon to a baby shower? Is it jealousy trying to compete with the mother-to-be? Does this person have a sly, evil grin as she slices into that watermelon?

~shiver~

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTheHappyHomemaker

Is that a kleenex under the baby's head in the 2nd one?

Oh.My.Creepy!

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

This post reminds me of Swift's Modest Proposal, but I don't think these are what he had in mind.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTyler

The original 1960 "Village" is one of my favorite movies~~ I was 10 -year-old innocent when it came out, and there were no arrogant, "I know what's best for you" Ratings Systems to stand in the way of MY RIGHT to *sleep* with the lights on for many months after seeing it.
If I slept at all...
Scary movie!

It would be cool if they made CAKES that were as scary as---

never mind.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

They give me that totally uncomfortable uneasy, look behind my freakin shoulder feeling! Thanks for that!

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRad Runner

I agree. That first one totally looks like the inside of a casket. This reminds me of a movie I saw when I was a teenager (that I shouldn't have seen)...The Puppetmaster...anyone? Lots of murdering dolls in that one.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Rainey

That may actually be one of the creepiest things I have ever seen. The first one is reaching out to get you, and I had visions of that psycho Chuckie doll (is that his name?)

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEHisCDN

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Run! Run!

These doll cakes remind me of the Twilight Zone episode with Talking Tina.
"My name is Talking Tina...and I'm going to KILL you..."

RUN for your life!

*OMG* TIGERWOLF, "Its Epcot"-- CLASSIC! LOL!! ^..^

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMe!

The blanket on Baby #2 is making my mouth water. Oh, the frosting...

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Thanks for reminding me of another reason I played with boy toys when I was just a girl. Girl toys were creepy and boy toys were just awesome. Seriously. Robots that turn into stuff will always win out over Stepford-esque dolls with seriously bizarre proportions for me.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Gravekeeper

Dolls and clowns...I'm tellin' ya...

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternursemom

I have never been afraid of dolls. Until today. Thanks!

WV - exion: When I saw that last baby, I looked for the closest exion.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKay

Awww man - those are so creepy! Waht's next - cakes modeled after Victorian post-mortem photos? (I have an affinity for them, but I don't want a cake form of them!)

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwhizkidforte

Cake #3 - crib or casket? That is weird.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBuckeyeNP

I hate babydolls.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthe mouse

So much pretty frosting!

That first one is what I think Taylor Momsen's baby might look like, with the black eyeliner and vacant eyes. That ups the ick factor about a ga-jillion because isn't Taylor 17 going on 47? She's too young to have a baby. Maybe this was her last birthday cake.

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKerri

The second one is actually quite lovely, especially if that baby is cake/fondant as it appears to be. However, I don't think I could bring myself to eat a baby, even one made of cake. Never been confronted with one, though. It IS cake...I might be more cannibalistic than I previously thought. ;-)

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterroballen

When are people going to learn that laying a baby doll on a rectangular-ish cake makes it look like it's in a coffin?

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRed Wolf

ROTFLMAO!!!

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Moreno

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>