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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Apr282010

The Cat's Meow

 

{cue sexy saxophone music}

 

"Oh my... Hello, beautiful lady. I didn't see you come in. Welcome to The Kitty Den, where all of your wildest fantasies can come true. I was just about to slip out of this stiff collar and enjoy a fresh bottle of wine by the fire. Won't you... join me?"

 

"This wood is big enough for two."

"Or purrrhaps you'd prefer to snuggle with someone a bit more... soft?"

 

 

"His claws have been trimmed and he was flea-combed just for you, baby."

"But maybe you're the kind of girl who likes things...dirty."

"Our alley cats are ready for a roll in the hay (or chocolate shavings, if you so desire)."
"That's right, sugar. Here at The Den, our fancy felines fire all of your foxy fantasies."

 

 

"Oh, don't mind Gary. He's just our I.T. guy."

 

 

Thanks to Violet, Ginger, Kat (how appropriate), and Mary for these handsome hunky hairballs. Mrrow...

- Related Wreckage: Stop the Insanity!

 

« A "Dreme" Come True | Main | Flotsam Plops »

Reader Comments (103)

Aww. The first two aren't THAT awful! Poor kitty cakes. Come to my house, I'll eat you right up! ;)

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOdie

I wonder why this loldog made me think of cake wrecks?!!

http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/129159501973626691.jpg

I want sprinkles!!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeesa

Oops! Just noticed someone beat me to the doggy pic!!

Oh well, that'll teach me to post before reading the comments!!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeesa

Definitely Tim Meadows as "The Ladies Man". Worked like a charm.

I have to take my Allegra now, thanks.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

With the exception of the last one, at least they aren't as creepy as the dolls on cakes...

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Oh my god, your comments are HILARIOUS!!!!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Moreno

The second one is so adorable! I don't know how people can eat such a cute kitty!

I'm not sure what's up with the IT cat. I feel kinda insulted because us IT people don't look that bad. Only a few have plastic heads.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That first cat looks so cute! Too bad he reminds me a bit too much of the snow monster from the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer special, or the snow monster from the beginning of The Empire Strikes Back, with that coloring.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I also had Banderas' voice in my head for this the whole way through. I blame it on the subject matter.

Which would be an interesting experiment, now that I think on it. Had it been dogs, would we have thought of someone else? :D

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershadow

Negar is an Afghani name meaning "Sweetheart". Maybe there, cat cakes are the thing??

I too read the whole thing in Puss In Boot's voice and giggled the whole time.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy 16th Negar? I would think you would have to pronounce that name VERY carefully or you could offend someone.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSixxlet

I read this to the tune of "Business Time" by Flight of the Conchords.

Poor kitties.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterskoerne

I heard the whole thing in the swifer commercial guy's voice, ya know, "Sexy Lady" as he sings about a mop. Too funny what our brains come up with.

The blue cat looks like something my cat coughed up. . . LOL

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanni

I like the second one,the others are absolutly wrecked!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What does the "soft" cat's birthday inscription read? I get Happy Greet 16th Birthday Negar." Any on else see the same?

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Blue kitty looks suspiciously like blue dog!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPWatters

Billy Crystal - Fernando Lamas!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPWatters

Hilarious! I totally heard Christopher Walken doing "The Continental." Though The Ladies' Man voice does make it equally funny.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRenee W.

We had a REAL cat who was NAMED "Cake"!!
#1- The face is vaguely cute-ISH (accent on "ISH"), but that cake IS SITTING ON THE FLOOR. Yeah, at least it's on a piece of cardboard that's covered with wood-grain contact paper, but still...IT'S ON THE FLOOR. =^>.<^=
#2- is WAY out of proportion to feline reality. Look at those huge, whompy legs--they look like shaggy tree trunks. And the neckless head looks like the top of some funky cookie jar.
Other than THAT, it's horrendous.
#3- is an artifact from the ruins of Pompeii --make observational note of the petrified sprinklings of ancient, volcanic dust. They were supposed to deliver it to a museum, not a bakery! Sillies.
Lastly...
(#4)- Eeyore Cake Meets Garfield's Evil Brother?
=^??^=
=============
@sewbug:
"...I read somewhat that yesterday was hairball awareness day!"
***
Aw, I missed it...NOT.
EVERYday is that around our place!
=^~.-^=

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I think the first one is supposed to be a blue-point Himalayan. Emphasis on "supposed to be"... Eesh...

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Wow. Negar FTW!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Very appropriate considering today is...Hairball Awareness Day! Well, according to the vet down the road from my house!

Happy Hairball Awareness day cake wreckies! :)

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought the second one was okay. I think I would have loved it when I was a little girl. I mean, a CAT cake? That would have been awesome.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Isaac Hayes totally read that whole post to me. Thanks for making my day a bit funnier.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCassS

You never cease to crack me up.. I love the "Ladies Man" reference.. but technically it would be Courvoisier not wine. ooh.. it's a lady! Loved that skit!

I also love the Puss N'Boots idea too! Very clever!

That grey cake almost made me puke..that second one.. ugh.. frosting overload!

-Soulsistahmel

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersoulsistahmel

I read this with Pepe Le Pew's voice plus "dahhling" at the end of each sentance. But I can hear it with Cat from Shrek voice as funny too.

Thanks for the chuckle everyone!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Alissa

But but but... I LOVE the second one! Seriously! The eyes are gorgeous! And it does look extremely soft.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarieCri

Sadly, I would actually buy the chocolate shaving cat cake if I saw it! It's just ugly enough to be amusing...

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I gotta say, this is the first time I've heard the term "sexy saxophone" outside of my own personal vocabulary. (It's not as if the term is unique especially, but it reminds me of something I saw when I was way too young, and I'll never forget what I associate with sexy saxophone music). It's so funny!!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

They're kinda cute, except for the last one. I think he's on drugs.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRed Wolf

OMG! These cakes make me imagine what the cat from Stephen King's Pet Semetary might look like!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

1) Thanks. Now I can't get Fran Drescher's voice out of my head. Every thing I read has an "aaaaaaahaaaahaaaaaahaaaaah" attached at the end now.

2) This does nothing to reassure my cat that I won't eat him if I get really hungry. As if being named "Angus" didn't already make him nervous.

3) I constantly scream "You're the reason we can't have nice things!!!" at Angus because he has shredded our couch, our box springs, multiple sets of sheets, and a whole bunch of my books, but I wouldn't even think of declawing the little jerk. Not everyone knows that it's a bad thing, though. I've had to explain to a ton of people why we won't have him declawed.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhalfbakedcake

Make it go away, please, make it go away!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertottergirl

I think the 2nd and 3rd are quite cute :) Not a wreck to me.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBekah

Why do I hear all of this narration in Nathan Fillion's voice?

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterprincessoftheempire

I find it so sad that people are making fun of a person's name. Do you know how bad it makes someone feel? It's bullying plain and simple.

I have a friend who's named after a Mayan goddess. Her name is beautiful, but because it's "odd" and "foriegn sounding" she got horribly made fun of in school.

My sister had a narrow-minded teacher refuse to call her by her name because it wasn't "appropriate for a girl." How scarring do you think that was?

Just because someone is different you have no right to make them feel like they are any less of a person than you. A name is something that you live with all your life and should feel proud of, whether your name is Jen or Negar.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok, I actually like that first one. If I got it for my birthday, I would be pretty stoked. But I *am* a crazy cat lady.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh those poor cats. Never saw the steam roller that hit them. My oh my with that second cake. A steam roller must have hit the wreckerator at the same time they were finishing that cake. Absolutely scary and even my husband looked at that last cake and asked me what it was.. lol.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

halfbakedcake said...
"I've had to explain to a ton of people why we won't have him declawed."*
~~~~~~~~~~~
Scream-worthy frustrating, isn't it?
---Not the constant "explaining," but the fact that so many feel that it's (in? some? way?) their business!!
Stop explaining.
And ask those who have children the same question*!
HA!

=^-.-^=

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Puss'in Boots rocks my socks for this post !
For the poor IT cake, how nice of the Wreckator to give us a clue about the actual flavor of the cake (under aaaaaaaaall that blue-grey-what the heck is that color icing)
Chocolate makes it all better now :)
WV : afflogi
I am afflogied by those cakes
- Naomi

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Seeing these kitties reminds me why I prefer dogs!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLose That Girl

I am sorry but what made me laugh was the sticker on last one. "Today's Bakery Feature". If that is a feature I would hate to see what kind of work they reject for sale!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSonia

The second one was actually passable. Maybe a little evil looking even but still not bad.

The rest? In the best (?) wrecky tradition.

"I don't always eat cake. But when I do, I eat cakewrecks. Stay wrecky, my friends."

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

A) Unique names ROCK (I'm Letitia)
B) Like the 2nd cake!
c) Oh, cakewrecks, I love you.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

All those cats are just scary! And I mean really is there any cake under all that frosting?

April 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnnieRose

Okay folks...Negar is a Persian name....Long-haired fluffy cat...aka Persian....Don't you get it? the cake is FOR the CAT!!!!!!
BTW taylor...I went back & read it in "Puss in Boots" Banderos-speak & you're right it is WAY funnier!

April 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaterial Girl

Now I'm thinking of the first cat saying, "Look at me. Look at your cat. Now look at me. Look at your cat . . ."

April 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSue KuKu

The second Kitty cake actually isn't that bad...compared with the others !

April 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNonna Beach

Cat cakes are very nice! My wife is fan of cats. She would love your post.

May 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercakes to eluru

Actually I liked the second one. But the third one was kind of terrifying.

May 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn B.

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