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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jun232010

Crazy Genes

Before you give me a hard time for posting more Dad Wrecks, you should note that:

a) It's really *your* fault for not submitting these earlier, and

b) See point 'a'.

Besides, it's not like there's anything here that really screams "Dad", you know?

Ok, well, except for that plastic thing.

And maybe the golf clip art.

But the actual cake? That's just screaming, "For the love of Sweet Duncan Hines, WHAT AM I?!?"

If only I knew, little Wreck. If only. I. knew.

Here's how you tell Pop you're on to all those Christmas shenanigans of his:

Yeah. Watch your back, "Santa."


And then there's the weird stuff.

"I do the weird stuff!"

For the record, there is no combination of the words "king, fish, dad, dad" that makes even the remotest hint of sense. None. King fish dad dad? King dad fish dad? Dad king fish dad? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!?

[patting down hair] Ahem.

Actually, I find it oddly comforting that the yellow fish/dad/king/thing looks just as confused as I am. It's like he understands my pain. Yeah. So thanks, fish/dad/king/thing.


Say, here's an aspect of father/child bonding you don't see often:

A shared love of cycloptic mutant bunnies.

(Yes, I *did* just make Cyclops into an adjective. Trust me, it's going to fill a void in your vocabulary you never even knew was there. You'll see.)

And finally, the most horrifying Father's Day Wreck I've seen all week, hands down:

You know, something about that icing seems off, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Well, maybe the Wreckerator was all thumbs, and so decided to just slap on a digit-al design. In that case, you gotta admit: s/he nailed it.

Wanda W., Clint R., Laura M., Heather L., & Katie T., high fives all 'round.

TOUR REMINDER: Hey, Salt Lake City, for a good time be at The King's English Bookshop tonight at 7pm (or a bit before). We've got all kinds of goodies in store for you. [saucy wink]

Update from john: Did you know that apparently, little boys are made up of Y chromosomes and Epcots? Neither did I...

« Tempe Treats | Main | Father Figures? »

Reader Comments (204)

A lot of people might say this too, but the first one might be a "Y" chromosome. You know... the chromosome that Dads provide.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

I just automatically assumed that first cake was the y-chromosome that distinguished Dad from Mom. Wrong?

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

Kinda looks like the first one was trying to be a golf tee.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa_;D

The first one is OBVIOUSLY from a son to his dad to thank him for his Y chromosome!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

Maybe the first cake is a Y chromosome? ;)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia A.

Is the first one supposed to represent a "Y" chromosome or something? Weird.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmyLiz

Is that first one supposed to be a tie? The "plaid" gives it away. TOTALLY.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I think the first one is supposed to be a tie. Maybe.....

Just a guess here... the first one is a tie?

Or Epcot.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I'm pretty sure that first one is supposed to be a Y-chromosome.

And although "cycloptic" is a good guess at an adjective, there already is one derived from "Cyclops" - it's "cyclopean".

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hmm, that first one is either a necktie or the letter "y" for dad's y-chromosome. Either way, it's wreck.

By the way, you're quite handy with the puns on that last wreck! ;-)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLibertygal

That headless Santa cake looks as though the perpetrator has left a warning with the knife being laid oh so subtlely on top. (In a raspy voice) "You'd better be good!" Nope, no nightmares there.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDorci

Okay, I admit to being weird. I actually get #1. Y - as in the Y chromosome that makes a guy a guy. At the school where I work, that's what we blame all of men's problems on - a defective Y chromosome.
As for #4, that's absolutely NOT the cyclops that I saw, and what I saw was more inappropriate than ANY wreck so far this week!!! I guess my mind has hit the gutter early today.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKay

As someone who regularly bakes with a four year old, I could tell what those cakes were no problem. (I cheated and asked him.) Y says yuh yuh yo-yo (tie?), a beehive (bbq apron?), a fishie cracker, a tree (tie?), and what every cake looks like at my house when left unattended.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara

I know what the first cake is: a Y chromosome! It's the essence of fatherhood!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

I think the 1st and 4th are supposed to be neckties.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterania

Perhaps the first cake is a tribute to the "Y" chromosome, imparted to the offspring by the Dad. Or, it's just a weird cupcake cake.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAleksmom

I think the 1st and 4th are supposed to be neckties.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterania

That's what they call a WHY?!? Chromosome!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

cake number 1 is maybe a Y chromosome?? it's the only thing I can think of ;)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

A golf tee?

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterviolyns

Don't you see it? It's the "Y" chromosome! Dad's a boy!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe the stripey blue thing is a Y chromosome? There's nothing more male than that. Or...ya know...a tie?

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I dunno about you, but I think that first cake is pretty obviously a Y chromosome. You know, to celebrate the manliness of being a dad. Any one see it? Anyone?

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGuenevere

The first one's either a necktie or, as your title made me think, a Y chromosome.

WV; nator = an alternate name for a birth mother

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Maybe the first one's representative of a Y chromosome?...

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdharmamama

No...that can't be...tell me that last one ISN'T an actual handprint? Like they looked at the cake, were impressed by what they did and gave the cake a high-5 in celebration? Blurgh.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

I'm hoping the wreckerator didn't actually use their hand for that imprint...yumm, stranger germs...*shudder*

Also, if the quote is from Dr. Horrible (and I suspect it is), isn't it "We do the weird stuff", or are you singularizing it for a reason?

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Clearly that first one is a "Y" chromosome.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarrieP

The first one is OBVIOUSLY a [mutant] Y-chromosome. Someone is wasted as a bakery hand and needs to return to the lab/lecture hall.

Also, a cycloptic bunny? Nuh-uh.

It's clearly a decapitated angel. Because that makes SO much more sense.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterliz

Seriously, what the heck is that Santa one supposed to be? I'm at a loss.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Please someone tell me what the second cake it supposed to be! I can't figure it out. My husband and I just stared at it for ten minutes and we still got nothing!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn C

I thought maybe the King Fish cake was attempting to be Dr. Seuss one fish two fish red fish blue fish; King Dad, Fish Dad? The handprint cake made me LOL. Gross!!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well that first one is a testicular cancer cake. The second one I don't get. What does a bee hive and a fork and knofe have to do with Santa? The one with the "fish" is obviously a mistake. It's one of those cakes made for mafia dads and it was supposed to say King Pin. The one with the "bunny" is soooo not a bunny! It's a dress for drag queen dad. Duh! And the last one is..... ewww. It's just wrong. Why is it brown around the edges of the hand! Gag!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

First one is an ugly plaid tie, in keeping with Father's day traditions.

And yet again, you've inserted a gratuitous Dr. Horrible reference.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha ha, nice Dr. Horrible reference! I love it!

(And is it bad that I thought "cycloptic" was already a valid word??)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJeanie

First one is a "WHY?" chromosome.

But, will someone please tell me what cake #2 is? It LOOKS like a beehive Santa with a cellphone belt buckle, but comes with a fork and knife hanging off the belt? WHAT?????

Sharon's Edible Art

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one IS a Y chromosome, the other ones i'm not sure about

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That yellow figure wearing a crown MIGHT be Dogbert (from Dilbert cartoon). But still... (Love the website). Kellie

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Taylor et al, I think you are giving the wreckerator faaaarrr too much credit on the Y chromosome thing. I'm going with a tie, too.

As for the second cake, after looking at it for a while I'm reminded of cakes I've seen in the archives here: I think it's supposed to be a grill (there's the propane tank, though otherwise it looks like a charcoal grill [bravo, wrecker] and the plastic utentils to represent grill tongs and such). Yikes.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

I actually think the idea behind the hand print cake is cute...the execution however, needs to be worked out a bit better.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Yup, my first thought was Y chromosome all the way... with a nice reference to the X chromosome too in the pattern on it.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristi

Ignoring the obvious "it's a tie".

Yay Captain Hammer!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersomething-else

1. Tie

2. BBQ apron w/tools (and propane tank)

3. Dogbert

4. Cute idea but brown was NOT a good choice ...

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was thinking the second one was Dogbert from the Dilbert comic strips...
http://www.science.uva.nl/~mes/icons/dogbert.gif

only yellow,...

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWilliam

(hahaheehee) My co-worker has one of those painted hand prints from her kid to remind her what he was like "when I was that small." To find a honking huge print on your Father's day cake, (haha) when it's not even your kid's, just makes me giggle from the sheer randomness of the design.

Not to mention the eye-searing tie colors, the "king fish dad dad" mystery (would make a great t-shirt caption, no?), and the Christmas BBQ grill.

Today's post fulfilled a need I didn't even know I had.

(Gee, I hope they washed their hands before that cake.)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

and by the second one looking like Dogbert, I meant the third one

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWilliam

Hooray for the Dr.Horrible reference!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmyHop

I didn't think the first was a chromosome at all!! Hello McFly... It's a flux capacitor!!!!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan D

I agree that the photo mid-way through the post has to be a decapitated angel. It's the only logical choice. And yes, the little hand print is icky. Do 7-year-olds ever properly wash? Um, no. Eek!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara

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