My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

What's THAT Supposed to Mean?

Sometimes, when I'm really grumpy (wha-aat? Jen gets grumpy? Get OUT!) I like to amuse myself by taking every little thing John says exactly the wrong way.

John: "So, you want a sub for dinner?"

Me: "Why? 'Cuz I'm too FAT to have a burrito? Huh? Is *that* what you're saying?"

John: "No! I just thought you might be hungry!"

Me: "Oh, I see, because I'm ALWAYS hungry, right? RIGHT?!?"

John: [backing away slowly before sprinting from the room.]

It's loads of fun.

Anyway, I can only imagine how much fun this lady had:

"Start talking, mister, or you'll be looking for wife #2 real fast."

Buddy? Nope. Not anymore.

Here's one way to tackle a friend's hairy situation:

"Cynthia, sweetie, this is an intervention."
[starting electric razor] "Grab her, girls!!"

When your dad turns the big 4-0, you want a cake that shows not only just how much you love him, but also how much time, thought,and effort went into finding him juuust the right design:

"Hmm...this purse design is a little plain. Oh! I know! Do you have any of those plastic Cinderella slippers back there? Yes? PERFECT."

Or, if that doesn't do the trick:

"I had them add the arrow so you wouldn't miss the teeny tiny heart. See how small it is? How there's all that extra room it *could* have occupied? Yeah? Good. Just checking."

Hillary H., Kris, Cynthia P., Mark R., & Kjaere, I love you guys this much. Which is to say, enough to type your names here.

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Reader Comments (65)

Where are the San Diego photos? Love you guys!

June 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oh gosh, where does one start? Now, is that for a bikini, brazillan or just a little off the top? AND the Dad 40th cake? We're just lettin' you know about what we know about that special valise bag you have hidden in the closet...

June 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

My husband refers to me as his first wife... but then adds ONLY. Which is very rare in our group of friends. I can't imagine it on a cake, though, unless there's some truth that once the guy retires, he drives the wife mad. (and AWAAAY)

(I refuse to discuss his mother)

As to dad's BD cake with princess slipper and purse -- I think his little daughter picked it out for him. "It was so cuuute, daddy! It made ME happy seeing it, so I decided it must make YOU happy, too!"


June 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Whitney, my mother often calls ME her daughter-in-law. One year, we actually got a Christmas card addressed "To Son and his Wife". And that was before she developed dementia.

June 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I just love your blog. You are the Jay Leno of Cake Wreaks. Its your comments that really puts the funny over the top. When I first discover Cake Wreaks I spent every spare minute going over the archives. I think my son though I was nuts as I would be laughing every few minutes or calling him over to come see this one. I also love Sunday Sweets. You got me looking at bakery sites just to look at all the wonderful cakes that I will never eat but still enjoy. Doesn't the Ps on the cookie cake in the word Happy kind of look like Rs. Harry Birthday?

June 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

Pam again. Sorry not the cookie cake with the Rs-- the little Blue rectangle cake.

June 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

Lauren said:
My mama always swears that when my daddy retires, she's going to kick the bucket and then he'll get a new wife and take her on cruises with his retirement money. Maybe she's not the only one who thinks that.....

June 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSweet Peach

Omg that 1st wife crack is always funny. I might have to get my dad a cinderella cake for his 80th birthday..I was thinking of a death know with a grim Reaper and old fart written on it...but do think that would be going to far? lol

June 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I'm not sure the purse cake qualifies as a wreck. It looks to me like someone bought a "professional" cake with a purse on it (maybe for the Dad who is particularly pink-phobic) and then added poorly done writing, a shoe, and a 40 candle. This would make it an "amateur" ruining a professional cake.

June 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVirginia P

Oh my.. that 40th birthday cake is just scary. I thought at first it was for a woman but nooooooooooo it had to be for someones dad. Poor guy. Lol I bet they had to take him somewhere special to make up for the evil cake. And that retirement cake would have been beautiful if not for the first wife comment. How many wives is he planning on nabbing in retirement? A harem? lol.

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

For Dad's 40th Birthday, clearly they had a GOOD cake ordred and paid for....and then it got dropped or something, and the ONLY cake they had left was the purse-and-shoe version, hastily written on (over the design!) and with the candles salvaged and stuck on.

You'd think they could at least take the plastic shoe off.

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That "I love you THIS much" cake is destined to be a classic!!

And I would say, you are like the CONAN of Cakes, Not the Jay Leno of're classier than Leno! ;) (Even if the cakes aren't).

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJB

Maybe he's a polygamist, and his first wife was his main support through his career? ;D

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I thought it was "I love you this much $26.99" like, my love is only 26.99 dollars worth. I didn't even see the teeny heart.

July 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm surprised nobody's thought that the pink slipper cake just might be a joke. *rolls eyes*

August 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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