Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Aug062013

Dog Days of Summer

Hi Guys! Chuck the Corgi here.

Since I've got you, can I ask you a question? Because there's something about you internet people I find really...

...perplexing.

 

Why do you like cats so much?

Cheezeburger cats and Nyan cats and Ninja kittens and cats too dumb to know if they'll fit in a box.

Why?! What's with the irrational feline obsession?

 

Seriously, folks, those kittens aren't actually ninjas. So why not watch a superhero dog instead?

Spider-Dog. Spider-Dog.
Does whatever a Spider-Dog does...

 

I'll bet that crazy chick who wants to hug all the cats would change her mind if she had a chance to smooch ol' Collie-Jen here.

Hey, YOU try to say "L" when your lips are that big.

 

Honestly, who needs Grumpy Cat when you can have Petrified Pug?

"The Doctor said not to blink. The Doctor said not to blink."

 

Look, I'm the first to admit kittens chasing a red laser dot are adorable, but Scarlet here is the red dot.

"Catch me if you can, ya furry little hairballs!"

 

Sure, I'll grant you Chococat is cute, but who wants furry chocolate?

Blech!

Ex Lax Dog, on the other hand, packs a much bigger punch:

"Should I 'stay' or should I 'go' now?"

 

So the next time you have the urge to play someone off with Keyboard Cat, why not choose this little fella instead?

[[silence]]
[[unblinking stare]]

 

I guarantee there won't be any encores, let alone nine lives.

 

Thanks to Cortney G., Lund, Jessica R., Annie H., Texascutie, Erin R., and Terri R., for trading in 9 lives for canines. And, Theardare, sweetie, it's just a post -- really, I'm a cat person.

« Just Clowning Around | Main | A Harry Situation »

Reader Comments (49)

...and I'm *still* a cat person.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Urk from the alternate animal planet

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Gotta love a weeping angel reference! :)

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterElly

I am terrified by all of these.

All of them.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Who else could bring a whole new meaning to "should I "stay" or should I "go" now?" As usual, LMAO and wiping coffee off the keyboard.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterama

The last one reminds me of a dog version of Pizza the Hut.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSomeone

Poor Scarlet has just emerged from a vat of radioactive dye and mutated.

I still haven't figured out happened to that last. . . . creature. . . . .

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Who says kittens aren't ninjas? They're weaponized, more silent than I will ever be, and can jump at least twice their height. They may only be defeated by...string.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

The third photo down has something in the background (probably a plastic bag with rolls in it) that almost looks like the face of a sheep dog...or SOME kind of doggy nose and eyes. Great; now I'm seeing bread dogs.
This can't be good.
=^e.e^=

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Let's see...

Corgi on LSD...

Spider Dog's abilities evidently include pooping all over the place...

Collie Jen (snerk) is also a pooper...

Too late, Pug, they already got you...

Flaming poop...

Non-flaming poop...

And, last but not least...

ZOMBIE SHIH-TZU, FTW!!! (TOUCHDOWN!!!!)

I think "The Walking Dead" definitely needs a Zombie Shih Tzu.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I think that #3's text is "I Wove You", which is certainly a possibility with some of the smaller furballs. Sometimes after I vacuum our living-room carpet, I think that I've almost got enough fur to make a new kitten.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

Well...that Ex Lax Dog takes the cake...(and I'm hoping it is cake....) and I think sets a new standard for The Most Egregious Use of Brown Frosting. And, did you notice, almost all the dogs have some brown "stuff" around them -- how hard is it to train a cake-dog? I'd be shaking my head in wonder if I weren't laughing so hard.... Now I've got to go...I mean leave.....

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

I should have skipped Ex-Lax dog. O.O

It's ok Theardare, your minion/namesake is currently terrorizing my house. You would be proud.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I think I am seeing 6 paws on Ex Lax Dog.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTrasawee

"Chuck The Corgi" is really "Billy The Border Collie" --- at least he looks like it to me ---got that intense Border Collie stare. ExLax dog, well, I think he "goes..." And I'm suspicious that some of those aren't cakes at all but are piles of leftover icing that were flung into the corner, then picked up and slapped onto a plate and priced. And I'm a dog person.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

Is Ex Lax Dog sitting up or lying down? It's like an Escher print!!

I'd say "kill it with fire" for Scarlett, but it looks like somebody already did. :P

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

My wips are so swell,
my wuve so wucious, my time
offer wimited.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

#2: Spider-Man lost his head...and now must ride a small, weak-bowelled pooch in order find his body.

I am more afraid of Collie-Jen than I am of Ex Lax Dog.

That last one looks like they've found a new use for the Pan Wow heart-shaped pan...and Big League Chew bubble gum (sun-bleached?).

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

I think that last one will haunt me. 0.o

I love, love, love that you threw in a Theardare reference, Sharyn. The CW family is awesome!

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

For some reason the song "I am looking over my dead dog rover" keeps popping into my head every time I look at cake #1.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@mel:
Maybe the "people-training-a-cake-dog" ratio is akin to that of the "people-needed-to-screw-in-a-light bulb"?
=^>.<^=

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

2nd to last wreck truly is a 'dogpile'.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

@Haiku Joy:
AWESOME!!
Cowagen-Wips Meets Ewmer Fudd!
=^~.~^=

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Wow, my standards are getting really low, because that last one doesn't look THAT bad... for a Wreck, for a Wreck! It's still kinda terrifying, but at least it almost looks like a dog, sorta. On that has danced in blood.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Check out the Collie-Jen photo again. Pretty sure the little blue dog on the card in the back is eating a massive curlicue poo...

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteracreasy1

That last one looks like the baboon from the 80's The Fly movie

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDPL

Dog cakes are easy to make! All you need is a metric ton of frosting and NO artistic skill whatever!

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Having reviewed today's selections, Theardare is not displeased. He has been rather busy, expanding Room 101 to accommodate more than one person at a time due to the recent spate of wreck deniers.

#1 The real reason you don't give chocolate to dogs: they won't sleep for a week.

#2 "Well, the new carpet looks great. Where's Spider-Dog?"
"Here he comes, running down the street."
"That sounds like the first line of the Monkees' theme song. Would that be the newly re-paved street, by chance?"
"Yes...No! Spider-Dog! Don't...run into the house. Oy."

#3 Ya gotta admire Spider-Dog's efforts to make up, though. Even if he does confuse you with a Roman god.

#4 D'awww.

#5 "Dog on a Lilly Pad", c. 1930 by Louis Wain. One of the few times Wain chose a dog over a cat, and the only time he is known to have worked with frosting.

#6 "Peter, Spider-Dog needs a bath."
"Oh, much?"

#7 Gaaah! What Roomba is to dirt, this...this...thing is to souls!

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

1) "Collie-Jen" = brilliant name (it wasn't until I read this post out loud to my dad, who heard me laughing hysterically and came to investigate, that I "got" that one);
2) "Ex Lax Dog" = the reason my dad heard me laughing

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterwoodnwheel

Yuck! That last one looks like a bowl of spaghetti that came to life to terrorize Tokyo ...

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterApril Fool

Blink... Blink and you'll die! LOL Love the Dr. Who reference!

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStephnyD

I'm totally writing a creepypasta about the very last one.
"Gwen froze, swearing she"d heard something. There was no denying it now: SOMETHING WAS IN THE BAKERY WITH HER, and it was hiding in the freezer. She braced herself for what ungodly horror she would have to face and tore the door open. Inside was the most gruesome demon puppy cake this side of the day-old bread store. Its cold, dead eyes stared into her soul, and its crusty white icing fur was caked with crimson ectoplasm. "Forget this!" she screamed, throwing down her camera and running for her life. "I don't want material to send to Cake Wrecks *that* bad!"

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPinkie Pie

You almost had a Dr. Suess thing going on in the opeing paragraph... thanks for the laughts. I can feel the tension of the day beginning to melt away. <sigh...>

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJeanne

Collie Jen espouses wuv, tru wuv, leading to mawage. :P

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

WAIT. The first one is ADORABLE! I would be proud of that. Total character and cuteness!

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJo

@BADKarma zombie shih tzu bahaha

Ex lax dog ... And this, people, is why I'm a cat person.

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSam

@Joel Polowin ( "Sometimes after I vacuum our living-room carpet, I think that I've almost got enough fur to make a new kitten.")
============
Maybe a good name for your "vacuum"-kitten would be "Theardust"....
=^-.-^= hmmm..?

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Punctuation is everything. Chuck (throw) the Corgi here (as opposed to there). or Chuck, the Corgi, here. Was that on purpose? cuz you could use Upchuck the Corgi here. :)

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarilee

acreasy1 - My gods, you're correct! Collie-Jen's little blue companion is, indeed, chowing down on a massive, curly turd!

Thank you. I must now go stab out my Third Eye with a spork and bleach my brain...

August 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I would hate to imagine what would happen to someone if they even attempted to eat that red dog like thing lol. Probably it would come haunt you in your dreams and eat your soul while you sleep. Eeek.

August 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Collie-Jen WahWaaaah! Lulz!

August 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Love the Doctor Who reference. Now I will see that um, dog thing, whenever I watch it. Yipee.

August 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Doctor

@Craig:
Are you SO sure that Theardare is "not displeased" with all of the dogs around? I mean, of COURSE cats are superior beings...and naturally, having canines nearby could only serve to EMPHASIZE that fact, but...uh...
Carry on!
=^-.-^=

August 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

As a Pug owner/lover, that cake made me laugh so hard that I choked on my own spit, which as we all know is the sign of true comedy. The fact that it included a Who reference was just icing on the cake. HA! SEE WHAT I DID THERE? I KILL ME! HA!

Your Pal,

Storm

August 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStorm

Donkaloosa is right, it's a Border Collie! First thing I said when I saw it was, "Look, a Border Collie cake!"

August 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

That one dog looks REALLY bright pink when using a Nook. I'm quite sure that eating that much dye would give the eater some crazy-colored diarhea, if they didn't barf it all up first...

while laughing at Ex Lax dog, my 3 yr old gets curious:
3yo: What's that?
me: a cake
3yo: with scissors on top!?

August 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterakm

That first dog reminds me of the Moon Moon wolf meme . . .

August 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndi

At least the poo-dle (aka X-Lax dog) has a pretty little bow.

August 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterZam

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>