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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jul062010

Sam's Club

Frequently, a bakery will receive a kit of plastic flotsam to construct a cakey character. This past week, the character of choice has been dear old Uncle Sam. Or at least, I think it has.

 

As a reminder, here's Uncle Sam:

 

Cake, you say? Your wish is my command, Sammy!

 

 

 

Pinstripes have never been more slimming.
Why, you can practically see right through him!

 


I was unaware that Uncle Sam had access to my grandfather's closet:

 

Remember: The higher you hike your pants, the more you love America!


Here Uncle Sam stars (and stripes) in "Red, White, and You!: A Musical"


Aaand...Jazz hands! Kick, ball, change... kick, ball, change...

 

 


Sweet Betsy Ross' ghost, are those cannonballs in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

 

Ug, I can't look at these wretched CCC's any longer. I need to see a real cake that actually looks somewhat like the famous personification of our Federal Government, Uncle Sam. C'mon, bakers!

 

 

A Shih Tzu wearing a popcorn bucket. Wow.
God Bless America.

 

 

You know, Asia P, Shelley B., Kayla T., Jordan J., and Beckie, that last cake could also be rock guitarist Buckethead, famous for shredding out tunes while sporting a Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket on his head. Hey, I smell a conspiracy! Or maybe just too much icing...

 

 

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Reader Comments (105)

Just when I started to blame all the cake world's ills on the cupcake cake.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

I have never laughed so hard at Cake Wrecks until today. The Shitz Tzu comment had me laughing so hard and now I must figure out how to get sweet tea off the keyboard!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Blogger is acting weird today.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

Down with CCC's!!!!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChar

Laughing out loud at work here, but fortunately no one else was in the office at the time. A Shitz Tzu! Popcorn bucket! I'll bet he's one happy puppy after eating all that corn. Isn't popcorn patriotic?

wv: poplafts - staccato laughter brought on by viewing Cakewrecks' popcorn pup.

Jackie

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My 16 yr old son has decided that I must give warning before opening Cakewrecks.

He can leave house prior to the weirdly scary bursts of laughter, howls, hoots and cackles.

*popcorn bucket* Hoo.. breathe... breathe.... breathe...

~~Di

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first cake made me think Colonel Sanders with a codpiece. Just remember, there are people out there buying these things and bringing them to family gatherings, where the rest of the family has to decide if it's a joke or not.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurie

Fosse fosse one, fosse fosse two.....

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

That's not a popcorn bucket. It's a fried chicken bucket. Everyone knows that.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

The Uncle Sam "I Want Cake" was my favorite. Wish I had seen that before baking my 4th of July cake!

- David

http://www.aloe-vera.org/" rel="nofollow">Aloe Vera 101
http://www.holistic.us.com" rel="nofollow">Holistic Health Info.
Forever Living Products

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter"Guppy" Honaker

Notice the placement of the price tag on "Red, White, and You!: A Musical" Did someone actually pay money for this?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was also thinking Cat in the Hat for the last cake.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkisekileia

I was creeped out by the last one (it looks sort of zombieish or something if you think it's a human), but then I read your comment, and I couldn't stop laughing. A shih tzu in a popcorn bucket...that's going to keep me laughing for days.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm a little concerned about where the price sticker is on the "musical" version. It makes me think of one of the bars you put on the screen to cover up something inappropriate.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

as bad as the CCCs were (and they were hideous) the popcorn bucketed dog cracked me up!!!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT

"Did you notice the eyes follow you everywhere?"

OK - I feel like an idiot even admitting this, but after reading that comment, I actually scrolled back up and than swayed back and forth in front of my computer screen to see if the eyes really DID follow me!! They do. Spoooky!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jody

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJody

I love little foofy white dogs, so that last cake is my favorite. It's also flotsam-free, which makes the blue zombie eyes and the demented little smile seem far less creepy than the dirty old man ccc's that preceded it.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeftWingLock

You all killed me with the witty retort as well as the cakes themselves... THANKS GOD I wasn't drinking a beverage at the moment.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTammy Jex Mayrend

My two-yr-old walked up when I got to the last one. His reponse? "Scary." I was thinking how much it actually did resemble our Shitz Tzu.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"A Shitz Tzu wearing a popcorn bucket. Wow. God Bless America."

LMFAO!

I was looking at the last cake, staring actually, thinking how much it actually does resemble our Shitz Tzu, when my 2 yr old walked up and yelled "SCARY!" at the screen.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't tell you how badly I need an
"I WANT CAKE!" poster for my kitchen! Especially around the 4th of July....I didn't see one in the "stuff" section...any chance?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Of course all of those seem to be the Evil creature known as a CCC. Is there such a thing as a good CCC or is that an impossible thing to make?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

@Rachel--LOL you are so right! The Shih Tzu's headgear DOES look like the goofy caps worn by Hot Dog on a Stick employees! The thought crossed my mind but I wasn't sure if anyone else outside of Southern CA would get it. XD

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

The last one looks like that demented Cat in the Hat in the horrible live action movie of a few years ago.

And yes, its eyes do follow you.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterroballen

I'm with Rachel. That last one is definitely working for Hot Dog on a Stick.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Um...so, is it just me or does "grandpa" Uncle Sam have an extreme muffin top going on there?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersarahbeara78

Right on, Tricia L. (Commenter No. 1)!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJan C.

I think it looks more like big foot with a really bad Ki adi mundi wig. maybe... nice commentary by the way. My brother rwads this blog too but doesnt comment and he was drinking soda... and it came out his nose... it was HILARIOUS!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChaos6267

I cracked up at the shih tzu wearing a popcorn bucket. And Uncle Sam really ought to stop wearing that blue coat. It makes his bum look big :D

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

Shih Tzu. Heh. Popcorn bucket. Heh heh. It could also be an albino Ewok. LOL. With a popcorn bucket. How I love this blog!

(PS. I've been stalking this blog for a long time now, but this is the first time I've posted a comment! Yay!)

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaya

"A Shih Tzu wearing a popcorn bucket." OMG I'll NEVER look at Uncle Sam the same way!!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

'Sweet Betsy Ross's ghost' is my favorite thing I have heard since
'60% of the time it works - every time'

You just trumped the line that brought my husband and I together...

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

I just wanted to point out that the Red White and You cake isn't a CCC - it's a "Pull Apart Cake" according to the label next to Uncle Sam's bulge. hahahahaha

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

I see Uncle Sam with LOVE HANDLES. The last one? That looks more like some skull with a warped looking chef's hat.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdawn

I could buy the Shih Tzu theory, were it not for the glow-in-the-dark eyes. I know dogs' eyes shine under certain conditions, but these have a light from within that icing eyes shouldn't have. Ulp.

Now, look at the 'mouth'. Coal? Could this be the return of Frosting the Snowman?

I have to give them this: They didn't resort to plastic. They also didn't get anywhere near a reasonable facsimile, but they refused the siren song of flotsam. Integrity lives!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Lmao to that last cake. It does look like a dog with a bucket on its head. As for the others.. why do they all have the same Uncle Sam decorations are they all from the same wreckerator? If so that person must be stopped immediately lol.

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

The Uncle Sam template looks more like Colonel Sanders as a cartoon.

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterchunter

Man! Totally had cakes with this same plastic Uncle Sam stuff @ our 4th of July Celebration...didn't get a pic of it though...didn't have my camera

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJ-Designer

My only question, really, is why does Uncle Sam suddenly look like a cross between Colonel Sanders and the Keebler elf?

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Boys and girls of the spelling police. Jen often misspells words on purpose to help make her point.

Now, look at the post carefully and look at the photo.

::wait for it::

::wait for it::

Don't get it?

::sigh::

Go back to editing wikipedia articles!

Terri
www.whyifearclowns.com

WV: "plarr" Correcting SPAG in a blog post makes me go "plarrrrrr"

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerri Coop

That "musical number" Sam is actually kind of cute, like he's just going to go with the flow and make the best of being a cakewreck.

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~* Aria *~

"A Shi-tzu wearing a popcorn bucket"

BRILLIANT!

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

#1 and #2 are actually kinda cute!

check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

I have never heard (read?) sarcasim as well done as the "Shitz Tzu wearing a popcorn bucket" comment. You literally made me laugh till I cried. Well Done!!

July 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJuno

Funny enough, "Redd White & You" is a song from "Turnabout Musical".
Listen here: http://www.4shared.com/file/91678169/674bf01d/Redd_White_and_You_-_Demo__Balanced_.html

Just made me smile, haha.

July 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTurnabout Musical

Adorei o site.;)

July 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJ├ęssica

I LOVE BUCKETHEAD. That last cake reminded me of him before you even mentioned it :)

July 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I read your blog all the time and I don't usually comment, but I just had to share this!

Ok, so I was trying to babysit my 21 month old baby sister and read Cake Wrecks at the same time (very difficult!).

Anyways, I had the baby in my lap and when the picture of the Shizu Uncle Sam loaded the baby pointed at the screen and yelled out "Doggy! Doggy! Doggy!!!" I laughed so hard I think I peed a little. Even the baby sees it!

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

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