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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Aug172010

Fairy Tale Endings

WARNING: Today's post is not family friendly, on account of it being a little TOO "family friendly." IF you knowwuddamean.

Ah, children. So innocent. So sweet.

So blissfully unaware of how much their castle cakes look like a gaggle of man cannons.


I believe this is from the Netherlands. (Eh? Eh?)

Oh, oh! OR, if it were in Troy, then this would be a TROJAN castle.
(Get it? See what I did there? BOOYA.)

I'd say this customer got royally shafted:


[Zing!]

I mean, just look at that top tower: totally cockeyed!

[Pow! Zam! Whap!]

Still, this next castle cake really can't be beat:


[Sha-ZAM!]

Yep, that's some stiff competition, right there. Definitely has the upper hand.

[Rat-a-tat-tat! BzzzING! Ker-PLUEY! Eckie Eckie Eckie Eckie piTANG RoooBoing ezrowsurh]

Lauri, Lisa M., & Sarah H., they say "a man's home is his castle."

Frankly, I can't top that.

Also, 3 geek points if you correctly ID the Eckie Eckie line.

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Reader Comments (160)

I can't help but think of the cookies in "Death to Smoochy"

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Some of those must have been intentional, dontcha think?

Many of your readers are forgetting that they are "now no longer The Nights Who Say Ni!"

Now I'm gonna *have* to watch all the clips on YouTube. Thanks for wasting 2 hours of my morning...

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Perhaps if we build a large wooden badger?

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRoger the Shrubber

Monty Python and Holy Grail, the Knights Who say Ni!

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMargie

I don't believe we have any thing like that here in Troy.

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterev

This post has clarified for me just how many bad cakes are out there in the world. I mean, if you have a whole category of "castle cakes that look like penises," that really says something.

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEG

seriously, can you make a shirt with a picture of that cake on it and under neat that "gaggle of man cannons?"

because i'll totally buy it.

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It gives an all new meaning to "go eat a dick."

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaru

No thanks, we already got one.

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGerald B.

the line is from the knights who say ni, except they don't say ni anymore

monty python and the holy grail

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChava Malka Cooper

Perhaps these wreckorators need to spend some more time focusing on scientific deduction whereupon they will discover that the actual answer is 'duck' and not *ahem* well, you know.

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHalesbales

geesh...get your mind out of the gutter :-P

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPilgrim

oh and thanks for all the comments, now I'm gonna have all the Holy Grail movie going through my head ALL.DAY.LONG.

i'm not dead yet....
i'm getting betta!!!!...

:banghead

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPilgrim

Oh, dear. Just...*shakes head*

(ha, when I read 'eckie eckie' I thought, "hmmm, I've heard that before" but I couldn't place it!)

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

Ni Ni Ni Ni Ni! Now we need to find some shrubbery for those castles!

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterL.B.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail, girl! SHRUBBERY!!!

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLate

The thing about these cakes for blissfully unaware children is that someday they WILL be aware. For example, today little Madysyyn is being served a purple gaggle of man cannons for her princess-themed 4th birthday party. Fast forward twenty years... she's going through family photos. Perhaps she's helping her mom sort through some of the accumulated clutter in her house. Perhaps her serious boyfriend is interested in seeing some photos of her childhood. Suddenly she stumbles upon a picture of herself smiling behind a gaggle of purple man cannons.

Safe to say the therapy bills, already high from being named "Madysyyn" will only trend upward. And that all future bachelorette parties she attends only serve as painful, painful reminders of this... incident.

Poor Madysyyn.

--kate

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my gosh, it's like looking at the cover of Little Mermaid all over again!

http://www.danoah.com" rel="nofollow">Single Dad Laughing

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSingle Dad Laughing

I think most, if not all, of those cakes would benefit greatly from the application of a http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Hand_Grenade_of_Antioch" rel="nofollow">Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch ... EACH.

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

I would think only the adults would see the "Men cannons" as children would have not seen anything like that yet. A lot of giggling going on by the growups at those parties. To-day a lot of the post made me laugh as will as your quips. Love this site.

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

Thank you so much for the great laugh this morning. I really needed this today! Your blog is the best!

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ack! Monty Python! I almost fell over from laughing when I read that!

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJuno

Monty Python & the Holy Grail!

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersarah

We are no longer the knights who say "Ni"!

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbassbone

I Love you for the Monty Python line - such a great line :D

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSigrún Dóra

Wow, from the thumbnail of the first one, I thought it had Diva Cups on the top!

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Ah, penis puns. That's why we love you.

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmyB

If you don't know that that quote is from Monty Python, you don't deserve the air you breathe!

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSkulda

Ah, the whimsy of childhood!

I still remember when I had a phallus, err...I mean, palace playset of my own.

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterforkedroadblog

Now, you get some serious props for also wedging in a "knowwhaddumean" comment in there as well. Wink, wink, nudge nudge.

I have to agree with the diva cup comment though... Icing can just be so hard to get the tip to come out right...

~Jenn in Forest Grove

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (The knights who until recently said Ni!)

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershorty

unfortunately, I can spot a Monty Python quote from a mile away... ah, my wasted youth! ("AAAHH! I said 'it' ")

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanae

Gaggle of Man Cannons. All I could think was "pity they fire their balls off early and leave a big mess."

And in a strange twist of irony, my word verification is "conic."

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

WE ARE NO LONGER THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY NII! You must cut down the tallest tree in the forest wiiiiiiith... a herring!!!

also, hehehe cockeyed hehehe

WV: unsmus. Unsmus always watch out for excessively "family friendly" wrecks.

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfluid-static

*snort* I love the fact that the first...um..."castle" has obviously been to the local Planned Castlehood. There'll only be a 2% chance of the pitter-patter of little minarets coming from that kingdom, or at least that'll be the case if they roll them down the rest of the way...

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

I liked Kate's comment about "Madysyyn"!! Yeah, I can see children thinking the cake's a Disney-esque castle, while the grown-ups snicker away (enough to give a child a complex!). Then one day, the photos from the birthday will be a source of embarrassment. Perhaps part of the photo montage at her wedding? Life-long best friend tormenting her at her bridal shower?

But that first one... bad enough it looks like "man cannons". But purple, orange, blue, with silver sprinkles-- colour-blinded, clearly. (what, the cannons were soooo happy to be featured on Cake Wrecks they got excited and sprinkled themselves?!). (Note that you've got my mind now in the gutter!!).

Love the veins on the tilted pink-topped, round-tipped castle. Seriously, the wreckerator was so... innocent... they didn't realize what this looked like?

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

Monty Python and the sear for the Holy Grail!.......NI!

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAudra,Tony,and Erinn

What about, "Biggus Dickus."

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*collects her three geek points*

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteraprilstarchild

We are the knights who say.... NI!

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

So BAD!!!

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

Its from TEH KNIGHTS WHO SAY NI!
from Monty Python

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLuka

Thank YOU so much. I laughed so hard at this post I had to stop reading and breathe. So rich with double meanings...I lost it on man cannons.

Had thought once about getting a castle cake kit...not now....

Joanie

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, c'mon, make it tougher! We are The Knights Who No Longer Say "NI!"

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJust A Midwife

phew! I had a hard time fitting this one in.

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris Cammers

The knights who formally said "Ni"

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClaire :)

Somebody take Jen's keyboard away from her....She's going to pun us all to death....

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Those look an awful lot like VEINS on the "towers" of the white castle with the pink "roofs"...

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My high school is the Wilson Trojans :( the jokes never end about it.
Seriously, I feel like some of those were done on purpose :P

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTurnToTheLeft

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