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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Apr152014

Take A Wild Guess Day!

There's really only one way to celebrate this, so...

TAKE A WILD GUESS, GUYS:

Just so you know, I honestly and sincerely have no idea what this is supposed to be. I know what it LOOKS like, of course - (A baby shower cake. Eh? EH?!) - but it's so badly done, with those inexplicable pom-poms and zig-zags - and why is it blue? - that I just... I can't even... no.

Just... no.

 

What's that, John? Today is also "That Sucks Day"?

Aaaannnnd SCENE.

 

Thanks to Jennifer C. for submitting this with no details whatsoever, and also for proving once again that I couldn't make this stuff up even if I tried.

*****

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Reader Comments (114)

Why, it's clearly a blue, double-tailed bunny with white heli-ears, recovering from spinal surgery (hence the stitches), seen from the back, that sucks.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Rotate 180 degrees, and...the slightly evil / rabid lovechild of Cookie Monster and Snuffleupagus?

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbobetty

My initial thought: a dress a la Cinderella's dress when it's being made by the birds and mice?

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

It's obviously inspired by the movie Frozen, since I haven't seen the movie and have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Or is it a cookie? So the Dreaded Polar Vortex in Cookie Form??

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStaci

I think it is somehow related to the movie Frozen.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

I'm going with the totally obvious. Am I the only one that knows what happens to untreated "Blue Balls"? I know this is the end result because my surgeon husband told me so. I think this is how we ended up with Cupcake #3. Thinking back, I'm pretty sure this is how we ended up with Cupcakes 1,2 and 4 as well.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

Space shuttle hurtling through a sky filled with wispy clouds?
Butterfly emerging from a cocoon with damp wings not yet spread out?
Pogo stick?
Er. . . Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus?

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Happy "Get Screwed It's Tax Day"

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Are you kidding? It's OBVIOUSLY a fluffy blue penis doing what, ahem, comes naturally.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJan's Sushi Bar

I thought it looked like a Sharknado..

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

So....Yeah, my first thought was Cookie Monster is really REALLY "excited". Then my husband saw the picture from across the room and said, "What is that? A cross section of (a male organ)!?" Ha ha! Yes, dear, I'm afraid it is. Ugh! Seriously? I don't know what it's supposed to be but that's exactly what it is.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Um....I'm guessing: an elephant superhero (thus the lightening bolt on its trunk and its need to dress in blue spandex) surrounded by cauliflower bits.Cauliflower is a vegetable. Vegetables are evil. Evil things must be battled and overcome. Yeah, that's my tableau and I'm stickin' to it!

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Elsa used her powers on Hans's crotch.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

At first I thought this was the British symbol for Tallywacker Tuesday, but then I looked again. This is a sign used in cinema advertising. When you go to the movies, in the lobby they usually have a bunch of posters for not-yet released films. If you see this sign in the lower right corner on one, you know the movie is coming soon.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

I looked at the larger version of the photo and I THINK the label says MESSY COOKIE. That explains it.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

"Happy "Get Screwed It's Tax Day""

miss_paper wins this round. LOL!!

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterramanth

My mind is clearly in the gutter today. Blue balls, and yes, Jan's Sushi Bar has it right. <headshake>

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKayW

If you peer closely at the label, it says "Mess (something?) cookie." In which case, Nailed it!

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZeldabird

It's obviously a baby shower cake. The mother is expecting tiny white cauliflowers. Oh, okay, maybe I'm just making that part up. But I'd rather go to s baby shower with this as a cake than one with those creepy babies or pregnant bodies.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

It's a mermaid. The broccoli and blobs are seashells

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJanet Graff

An airplane breaking through the bad taste barrier?

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterjklGoDuke

Of course it is a baby shower cake and, as evidenced both by colour and what is depicted on cake, IT'S A BOY!!

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkt

1) A (very) poorly done Easter basket

2) An inexplicably colored baby blue military jet flying through itsy-bitsy clouds

3) The Hideous Bugblatter Beast of Traal

Take your pick.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

It's _obviously_ Trash the Prom Dress Day. I mean, can't you see the laced back, and random bit of torn fabric flying around the cake?!

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDelphine

What on earth.... D:

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Is it a terrible Father's Day tie, viewed upside-down? The blue globs on the side could be the collar, and the white pom-poms are buttons. I can't explain the other white smears.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThomas

first impression - a blue lobster standing on its tail ..

can't help what i saw.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAddie

Elsa from Frozen.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPenni

Obviously what US Airways meant to tweet to their complaining customer instead of what they mistakenly posted.
You'll get no more details from me......... Google it. (really, REALLY NSFW)

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNanTzu

its a tornado cookie - it's marks the rememberance of lost trailer park homes all over the world.....everyone knows that, sheesh...!!

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJulie T

I wanna say a shower cookie because of the pastel blue. I'm thinking baby booties? An umbrella? Maybe Harry Potter Easter Bunny of Doom? Yeah, I got nothin'.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMovieMom

My vote is airplane and the bits are skydivers jumping out. If it is not that, then I do not want to know what anyone thoguht this was supposed to look like.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie Ellis

I think maybe it's an airplane????

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDani

I think it looks like a blue lobster. The clumps are cauliflower on the side, but maybe I'm just hungry.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteresther

I think maybe it's an airplane????

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDani

Is James P. Sullivan's weener.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBeenyweeny

The Blue Angels breaking the sound barrier?!

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSue W.

I think its obviously the Epcot ball.... ;) dont hit me

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJessi

And this, besides being Tax Day (dun-dun-DUN!!), the day Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, the day the Titanic sank, is the day Madame de Pompadour (or The Girl in the Fireplace for the cool people) died.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I believe the label is "Message Cookie" which means this cookie was probably blank and meant for a message. But it was probably near its expiration date, so the bakers got creative.

And there, folks might not be a fun answer, but a logical one. :)

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRae

This is a prom dress of course. Mermaid type, can you see it, huh huh?

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMykona

It's an ad - or a thank you? - for Viagra.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMary

It's a #1, probably for a boys birthday. Regardless, it's awful! Poor kid :-(

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteramy

Jen, it is exactly what you think it is.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

It looks like a 'Frozen cake' lol

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Murphy

Upside down caduceus, of course.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentershannon

It looks to me like an upside-down Thor's Hammer attempt complete with lightning, rain clouds, and raindrops.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRebecky

That, to me, looks like the Ralph's (or wherever) cake decorator was trying to get all her sh*t done and her boyfriend came to pick her up from work.
She was like "ugh babe, I still have like 10 cakes to do!"
And he was like "here, I'll help."
Then she got fired.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTara

I'm going to guess that the picture is upside down. It is Thor's hammer Mjollnir done in blue because why not? The white flotsam are the rain clouds and lightning bolts and such.

My brain likes this explanation because any other possibility leaves me speechless.

April 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

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