My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Battle of the Beach

{We now return to your favourite underwater crime series, "Crab Cakes: Ocean Justice"}

{sobbing} "Help! Help!"



"Dr. Octopus is back! And his shenanigans are more evil than ever!"


"Mwuaah haa haa! You'll never stop me! I may have lost six legs in the last battle, but I'll never lose the power to DESTROY YOU!!"

"Stop right there, partner!"


"Nobody messes with the Sheriff of Crabtown."

Little did the Sheriff know, he was about to meet Doc Oct's gang of corrupt cephalopod cohorts straight from Squid Roe:


Mr. Blue...

"Dress sharp, kill clean."



The Twins...
{in unison} "We're adorable and ready to ink."



And Crazy Lou!
"WwwhhaaaLLAA OOOAaAaaHHhhH!"



""Don't worry, Sheriff. I, Professor Knowsitall, am writing up a sneaky plan to destroy the Evil Octopodes once and for all! First, we'll lead them down to the beach using cunning tactics."



"Then, we'll all stop shaving our armpits...

"Ya know, to appear more intimidating."



"Lastly, we'll disguise ourselves as footballs and hurl each other at them in an all-out ambush!"
"Now that's a pinch-hitter!"
(Oh, that's baseball? Whatever. No need to be crabby!)
Stay tuned for our next episode where Crabtown gets hit with a tidal wave! Will the Sheriff make it out alive? What happened to little Jake? And who took all the suntan lotion? Rolling credits: Jessica, Mauri T., Laura F., Carrie S., Kristy S., Jessica H., Carolann, Gabrielle W., Naomi, Beth W., Amanda, and Megan C.


Note from Jen: I have to add that the second to last crab reminds me of my favorite poem: "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning." That is all.


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Reader Comments (148)

OMG, that is my favorite poem too!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I like it. Some of the words I didnt understand, but some of the imagery was quite effective. Interesting decorative devices which seem to counterpoint the underlying metaphore of Humani-, oh, sorry, caketivity of the cakewrecker's soul.

Poor Lou. He was probably once an poetry editor.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I'm starting to lose faith in humanity. Seriously.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEugeneTeam

So if the crabs lose, does that mean we have Crab Patties?
More importantly, what documentories were they watching before making these cakes? Crabs are not the same shape as Kirby. They tend to be a lot flatter. Seriously, they look like Kirby with mutation. Fat, pink and with added lobster claws (with varying degrees of fail) and odd expressions.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershikishinobi

How are you SO funny EVERY single day? You made me snort milk out my nose.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAudrey

Triple points for Hitchhiker humor on top of everything else. Brava, Jen!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJaime

what are bakers smoking these days?

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Best. Post. Ever.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think CCC in the second picture is really kind of cute (I can't believe I'm saying that about a CCC).

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

That was by the far the FUNNIEST Cakewrecks EVER! Hilarious as usual, but even more deliciously ridiculous!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love Shark Week, I feel this is an ode.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLily

AWESOME. that is all :)

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

Jeez ya slay me Jen! I love your puns...squid roe!! Priceless!

Thanks for the smiles...and guffaws! :D

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think I woke up my husband when I saw Crazy Lou because I was laughing so much. Oh my cow this was the funniest thing I've read in a while, and I needed the laughs. The cakes fit the commentary so impeccably.

"Gulp." Priceless.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

Lol Crazy Lou sort of resembles an insane Jar Jar Binks. Now that would have been hilarious if that was what he looked like. Just cannot stop laughing like a mad hyena right now lol.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

i don't know about you guys, but i *want* a crazy lou.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobert

How to we start a Crazy Lou fan club anyway? He has kept me laughing all day!!!!

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJanelle

Uh, Lou, your um toupee seems to be slipping. Er, is that part of your head? Ew...

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Doctopus (couldn't resist the mash-up): now that's a sardonic smile! Yikes!

I knew the Vogons were lurking nearby -- all that "Resistance is Futile!" stuff made me think of a Constructor Ship before a Borg cube. Ah, the poetry of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz.

I'm sure the Dentrassis make awesome cakes. Douglas, you are missed.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Possibly my favorite post on here EVER. Crazy Lou cracked me up!

WV: Shloclyt. "Some shloclyt Crazy Lou on fire!"

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Hahhaa, I completely lost it when Crazy Lou appeared, and then the gibberish written below. There was a lot of crazy mental pictures going on there. LOLLL. oooh, Crazy Lou. *shakes head*

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIngeborg

LMAO.........As much as I enjoy seeing all the beautiful and not so beautiful cakes on this new blog I've found, I also enjoy the commentary immensely!

I shall not get crabby today! :p

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the last one is supposed to be Mr Scatterbrain from the Mr Men cartoons.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Crazy Lou is my favorite.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJohn & Jennifer Savage

I think Dr. Octopus strongly resembles Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

And who says crabs are a bad thing? Bravo on the commentary well played as usual!

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKandice

Yay for Vogon poetry! Lol Sounds like a fun show.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

Not only was that post hysterical but then you end it with a Douglas Adams reference???? Suddenly I feel like maybe I write cake wrecks and I just don't know it. Awesome.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGigi

The last one is Mr Messy! from Roger Hargreaves Mr Men.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

The fact that you said octopodes instead of octopi made my day. Someone else who knows that it's Greek, not Latin!!!!

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStickler

Amazing, as always!

I thought the "Sheriff" was really cute. It reminds me of Calcifer from the movie Howl's Moving Castle!

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteremzmingo

It looks like someone rended all those cakes in the gobberworts with their blurglecruncheon.

wv: roiten - Vogons are bad at roiten poetry, but not as bad as Grunthos the Flatulent.

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

Love, love, love Crazy Lou. Does he know he got shot in the head?

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is the 4th one the love child of the Cookie Monster and an octopus?

August 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterUma tal de PatrĂ­cia

I thought "Gulp" was kind of cute... if his limbs were in the right spot.

August 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie Barr

Maybe #2 was meant to be Admiral Ackbar.

In which case, of course, it's still a hopeless Wreck.

August 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJRW

Jen, if I didn't already love you, I would love you. Vogon poetry? See, pure awesomeness.

August 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

the only thing missing was the agrajag cake wreck (in his final "kill arthur dent body").

August 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJason

"Oh fruddled grunt-buggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As lurgid grattlebottoms in a turgid bee.
Groop! I emplore thee my footling turlingdrome
And hooptiously drangle me in the gobberwords with my blurdletruncheon
See if I don't."
Apologies if I have any of it wrong. That was from memory.
And I wonder why I'm failing my degree.

Speaking of degrees I am immensely glad to see so many glorious cephalopod puns in there! I warn you now, I will be stealing those for some of my presentations!

August 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllicat

Is that Meatwad?

August 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTina

Jen, you are amazing. Seriously. That was hilarious XD Love the HHGTTG reference too; it fits perfectly!

August 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMimi

Jen, you are my hero for loving Hitchhiker's silliness:)

August 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRascalmom

Forty two. Your Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy reference just made my day. So long, and thanks for all the fish!!(Actuallly works here!)

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia Macmillian

The look on the seventh one's face was actually kind of adorable.

December 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have read the books that note at the end is from!!! Go Hitchhikers!!!!

November 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG (yes, me again)

The checklist behind Lou has to read demented, slightly creepy, odd and drunk. Check, check, check and check.

November 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG

WwwhhaaaLLAA OOOAaAaaHHhhH!!!! Jen? Have you read the poem "my favourite bathtime gurgles? Also, 42. That is all. P.S: read the instructions on a packet of toothpicks.

December 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG

The crying crab is adorable. <3 And I love Crazy Lou.

March 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLydia

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