In honor of Star Wars day today ("May the fourth... Get it?!) I couldn't resist cracking open what is quite possibly my favorite post ever written by Number1. Of course, I also couldn't resist adding a little more wreckage to it, since a tale this epic deserves wreckage of only the finest caliber. So, without further ado, here's Number1 to tell you a story...of a lovely lady...called STAR WARS.
Ok, so, the movie is set in space, "the final frontier," sometime in the future.
Luke Skywalter is the pilot for the Star Ship Firefly:
(That's the red boomerang thing.)
Skywalter has to save the beautiful Princess Leia from the evil grip of Dark Vader and his Terminators:
"We will destroy Hans Solo by playing checkers."
In order to get past all of the Cylons, Skywalter makes some friends with magical powers:
RD2D, CP3O and Spider-Man.
RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man follow Luke to the planet Vogon. There they find a short psychic Muppet in a swamp:
Slimer tells Luke to "use the force," but Luke doesn't know what that means so he shoots him. (First.)
Luke and his gang then go back to the Enterprise to fight Dark Vader and rescue Princess Leia. Again.
But the ship is now underwater, which makes it impossible to turn on their Life Savers.
Plus Dark Vader thinks it's unfair that Luke brought friends to help him fight, so Vader calls a friend of his own:
Accio pixie power!!
But wait! Slimer pops up from the dead and casts lightning into Vader's helmet!
Vader falls to the ocean floor, and Slimer says, "You killed my father; prepare to die!" Then he crosses the tachyon streams to open a wormhole which sends Vader back to Gozer.
Then Luke, Slimer, CP30, RD2D, Scully, Mulder, and Superman all run to rescue the beautiful Princess Leia a third time, and she proclaims her love for Luke. (Which really annoys Yo Jabba Jabba, but I think that's more in the next movie.)
And so they all live together on the island until John Locke finds himself dead in the coffin.
Thanks to Anony M., Debra B., Autumn P., Amanda N., Sarah, Jessica H., Ruth K., Meghann H., and Matt B. And as the brown coats say, "Live long, and may the force be with you!" So say we all.