We interrupt your Friday wreckage to bring you this special report:
BELGIANS ATTEMPT PLANET-WIDE "FORCE CHOKE"
Yes, a Belgian burger joint has recently debuted the questionably spelled "Dark Vador Burger," simultaneously offending grammar nazis, fanboys, and taste buds everywhere.
Since it appears this Fan Tum Menace uses a large charcoal briquette for a bun, we decided to hit the local Jabba Jamba Hut for a few "Han-on-the-street" reactions:
"That's no moon. Luke, use the forks!" - Ben Kenobi, Krayt Caller
"I have a very bad feeling about this." - Luke Skywalker, Incessant Whiner
"These are NOT the buns you're looking for." - Princess Leia, Princess
"Look's kind of Chewie to me. One thing's for sure, we're all gonna be a lot thinner!" - Han Solo, Shot First
The Jedi Council could not be reached for comment, but we did receive this automated voicemail:
"It's a TRAP!" - Admiral Ackbar, One Hit Wonder
The Imperial Empire also weighed in with this e-mail from Darth Vader, Sith Lord:
"Come to the dark side. We have charcoal. HAHAH!! But seriously, I find your lack of taste....disturbing. And did you see they misspelled my name? I mean, SERIOUSLY."
Update: I'm relieved to see so many people have grasped my true objective in this post, which was to start a debate over whether the burger chain in question is actually Belgian or French. Bravo! You've passed the test, and may now commence commenting on Youtube videos.
At any rate, the Yahoo article I referenced claims it's Belgian, so my sincere apologies if it is, in fact, French.
Also, according to the latest Epcot Threat Level Report the French translation of Darth Vader is actually "Dark Vader," although you have to say it with a French accent. There are also a lot of footnotes about "Vader" meaning "father" and copyright stuff and whether or not black bread tastes good, but by that point I was distracted by something shiny and lost interest. You can read it all for yourselves in the comments here and on Facebook, though, on the off chance you've misplaced your cattle prods and need to punish yourself for something.
Well, I think that's everything! Have a fantabulous weekend, everyone, and may the Farce be with you...ALWAYS.