My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

What's This? (No, Really.)

You guys, it's not easy following a trauma-inducing marzipan demon pig zombie, but by golly, I'm going to try.


[head tilt]


Perhaps I should mention I have no idea what that's supposed to be. However, if we knew, I bet it'd be super traumatizing. Or funny.


Here, let me try something a little more recognizable:

Now, as you can clearly tell from those carefully placed green and yellow squiggles, what this is is so blatantly obvious you obviously don't need me to tell you what it is. Obviously. Which is why it's in the shop's front display window.


And I'm just getting warmed up!

...said the melting anthropomorphic upside-down ice cream cone wearing a blonde wig.

(See? Told you these were easy.)

Your turn again!

Ahh, all that red and green really brings back the holiday spirit, doesn't it?



Maximum trauma has now been achieved. Thank you, and good night.



1. This is in the display case. Meaning it's NOT a custom order.

2. Are those arms or exploding ear wax?

3. Are those eyelashes or...or...seriously, what are those things?!

4. Why would a frog have blacked-out Miss Piggy eyes?

5. Wait... Sweet Henson, is this supposed to be Kermit & Piggy's love child?!?

6. In that case, what's "Santa" got to do with it?

7. Why?

8. Why?

9. Why?


Thanks and Kermit flails all 'round to Kathy R., Ayla E., Cara M., Ashley A., & Liz W. for adding a colorful new character to my future nightmares.

« The Farce is Strong With This One | Main | This Little Piggy Will Eat Your Soul »

Reader Comments (206)

The first one, I'm sad to say, has to be a leg lamp from A Christmas Story. Although it looks like a foot lamp to me. The second one is a Rorshach inkblot. Third one is a clown. Fourth one is a cactus. That last one is a nightmare frog. At least that's what I see, so maybe this whole post is a Rorshach test for the readers!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

Well... the red, green, yellow and black of the second cake are the colours of the Ghanaian flag (among others). Could the splodge be a lame attempt at a black star? A Fifa logo? A legless fairy with unfortunate bosoms?

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWorrierPrincess

I think the last kermit/piggy love child is a failed attempt to bring back the nostalgia for the movie "The Explorers" starring River Phoenix. See the resemblance to the alien? SEE???

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDenis Sheeran

#1 "Cut here" line from Circumcision for Dummies diagram
#2 "Gotcha, you evil tarantula!"
#3 Frosty, the last 5 minutes of life.
#4 Frog, after science class.
#5 "Momma wants Wart Remover… NOW!"

See, easy to I.D.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Cthulhu cakes?

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEric Stott

My gut instinct on #4 is a badly drawn (obvously) cactus. The rest.... meh.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTonya in IN

I figure #2 is a windshield cake.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJT

Wait, I can do this.
1. Either a funky, broken lamp or the bottom of someone's funky bellbottom that matches their funky shoe.
2. This was just a Happy Birthday cookie with colorful squiggles until Garfield smacked a spider walking across it.
3. Jen nailed this one. Completely correct.
4. The Swamp Thing is smaller than we ever imagined and when its life source weakens will seek out a source of sugar. This one found a cake display case, but alas, it was too late.
5. Ok, I'm not real sure about this one, but I know it has something to do with either Roz from Monster's Inc. or Neek from Explorers (yes, I'm that old).

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

I think the first one is supposed to be a leg lamp from A Christmas Story (sans all recognizable color), but I don't know how they expect a lamp made like that to defy the laws of physics and stay upright.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

The upside down ice cream cone head thing looks like a Scarecrow... the hangy-down doo-dads look like they're supposed to be the folds of his burlap sack face.

The one below it looks like a cactus!

No comments on the others though.. WOW.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I know what the first one is: the lower section of bell bottom pants and foot in matching brown sock!!! See? Now wasn't that easy??

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSandy in So Fla

# 2 This is OBVIOUSLY Walt Kovack's Birthday Cake. (he developed the RORSCHACH Ink Blott Test)

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCamijon

#4 is clearly a Christmas Cactus... for someone who doesn't know what a Christmas Cactus looks like...

I thought #5 was the singer from Star Wars.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrace

ah now, the first one is easy. A hat and scarf to keep you warm on cold winter days. Not an attractive set, but...

skipping past the creepy ice cream cone--the green blob just has to be a Christmas cactus--only because it's green and there's red border. And see all the pointy things that Christmas cacti don't have?

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenter*lizzie starr

That last one -- is it that character Roz from Monsters, Inc?

Cthulhu cakes - FUNNY!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen McGowan

I think the first one is supposed to be a leg lamp from A Christmas Story (devoid of all recognizable color), but I don't know how they expect a lamp made like that to defy the laws of physics and stay upright. And that last one...maybe the lady gremlin with her giant red lips-that series started off at Christmas time, even though it looks like Roz from Monster's Inc.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Think that fist one is a pair of lady legs and a skirt... Maybe the lamp from A Christmas STory? My second guess on that would be it's a dead christmas tree, with snowflakes on it.

The second one is obviously celebrating the birthday of a mental institution patient, as they need a rorschach test on their cake.

As to the third, is that hag... budding? making new copies of herself? Who knew!

Those last two.... I have no words.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRNT

The last one... it's like Kermit's love child via the Star Wars cantina singer. See this photo:

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSnapdragon

This whole post is a Rorschach test, which was given away by #2.

#3: Melting snowman
#4: Mistletoe
#5: The monster who works the time clock desk in Monsters, Inc. I don't remember her name.

I have a couple theories for #1: a baseball bat and glove, or a knocked-over leg lamp from "A Christmas Story."

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

The last one looks like a bit like Roz from Monsters Inc. in holiday drag. Which begs the eternally relevant CakeWrecks question: Why?

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

1. A cake inspired by that classic of Vogon Poetry, "Ode to the Hunk of Moldy Meatloaf I Found in my Fridge and the Knit Hat It Inspired."

2. Rorschach's birthday cookie. Why, what do you see?

3. The Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz, now starring in the off, off Broadway remake of "The Elephant Man."

4. Ariel's Christmas Seaweed Tree from Under the Sea, complete with white twinkle lights. (Plastic version coming soon from Disney, as well as the re-release of one of the eel action figures -- "Plastic Flotsam.")

5. Roz, from "Monsters, Inc.", who is about to teach Santa a lesson about leaving behind contaminating articles of clothing when he visits. 2319!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The first one looks kind of like the "fragile" leg lamp from The Christmas Story, but after it's been broken. See the shade tilting off to the right?

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJGMB

Well, I'm going to venture a guess on the first one as being a lamp. That had to be broken to fit the box.

Why a lamp is a CCC, I'll never know, though!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

A. The Google says the first one is either a pack of filtered cigarettes or Arnold Shwartznegger. This would not have been my guess, but The Google knows.

B. The second is a depiction of a Back to the Future movie poster. Don't question The Google.

C. I don't need help with number three: It's a decorative surgical glove, duh.

D. I thought four was obviously a Christmas cactus, but The Google says it's an illustration from The Kama Sutra and I'm going with that. As soon as I finish typing this, I'm going to stare at that damn green blob until I see what Google sees.

E. I'm afraid to go back and look at that last one. Jen, I'm sorry you had to look at it long enough to come up with an explanation.

F. They are all less horrific than the easily identifiable marzipan pig.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

#4 might be a representation of a prickly pear cactus, also known here in South Texas as a nopal.
I have no idea why a cactus would be on a cake, though.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I think the last one might be Roz from Monsters, Inc.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDB

#1 is a winter hat and scarf.
#4 is a cactus.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterme

Cake number one is obviously a high-heeled shoe.

Cake number 3 is obviously intended to commemorate the freak snowstorm that struck the Northeast in October. Halloween snowstorm=snowman in a witch hat. How is this not apparent to everyone?


January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenny Jo

In number 1 I see a poor attempt at the broken leg lamp from "A Christmas Story" (you see it now, too, don't you?).

I'm going with "scarecrow" on 3 and "holiday cactus" (What? That's a thing.) for number 4.

I'm not even going to try on the other two.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

Nothing can usurp the power of the pig. Nothing. The nadir of food sculpture has been reached. Or in this case, the chewy marzipan center. Oh, that my eyes could unsee.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterauntie meme

I think that one second from the bottom is supposed to be a cactus. ...see it? The white things are thorns that the wreckerator just couldn't get to be skinny.

That and, some poor wreckerator didn't know what to do with their leftover holiday icing!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRed

Clearly #2 is a Rorschach ink blot... of DOOM!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShana

wowee well here are my thoughts lol

#1 that space shuttle part that the astronauts would land in the ocean in ( way back when.. look in history books )
#2 ink blot test... get it right you get to eat the cookie!
#3 a pilgrim after too much ale... or said pilgrim with a slight deformity ( or over endowed in the wrong way? )
#4 a cactus?
#5 ROZ... hahaha from Monster's Inc.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDIana

The last cake you show is the face of the lizard/frog secretary thing from PIxar's Monsters, Inc. The little bulbous things off her sides are her earrings.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSDKevin

#3 is a scarecrow a la Wizard of Oz. The last one seems to be Bev Bighead from Rocko's Modern Life. :)

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I wish I could say what I see, but then you would be scared and ban me O_o

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Number1 view from the opposite direction is clearly a mixing bowl and spoon.

Decorator to client," How would you like your cupcakes decorated?"
Client to decorator,"Just mix it up. Oh, and I want sprinkles."

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLora

The frog one is an Avanti greeting card.

Like this, but not moving

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna

My first thought was that the first cake was a bell with a strangely enlarged clapper (that's what the ringing part is called, right? It sounds dirty all typed out like that).

I agree with previous posters that #3 is a scarecrow and I think whoever suggested that #4 is mistletoe might be right, assuming of course that the wreckerator doesn't actually know what mistletoe looks like, which seems totally possible.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

1. A winter hat and scarf.

2. A witch on a broomstick.

3.Really bad clown.

4. Catus!

5. Something from Sherry and Lamb Chop's nightmares.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmethyst

I think that I have never sees
A mess o’ wrecks the likes of these.
Though each one has a story to tell
The authors wrote them straight from hell.
Number 1’s a CCC
That says more than enough for me,
Happy Birthday, Squid, is number 2,
See the ink…it’s navy blue,
And number 3 is Mom’s new ‘do,
The bee-hive look (no, it’s not poo),
And number 4 should make you holler-a,
It’s the Christmas version of the bug that causes cholera.
And the final wreck, well let me see,
Hmmm…maybe some things we should just let be.
Is it Santa’s Baby…well, that’s the rumor,
But really, folks, it’s Santa’s tumor,
All those cookies gave him gout
So the doc will cut this baby out.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Leg lamp from A Christmas Story, the others I don't know.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Not really related to today's post, but I just read the news about a fast food chain serving "'Darth Vader' Burgers"...
And it's black in colour! Strong food colouring or coal is anyone's guess...

Just want to share it with you and the people here ;)

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAdy

I think the first one is either the leg-lamp or possibly some sort of bell.

The rest I have no clue, although the 3rd one appears to be the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBalgram

I think #5 is Sy Snootles from Star Wars.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPennieK

I think that first thing is a hat and scarf set????

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

The first one looks a bit like a hip replacement

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine

1) Part of a Christmas tree. Complete with feet.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

I'm going with hat and scarf on the first one.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRoy

I am sadly disappointed at the geeks among us. I saw only two who got the last cake. It's the lead singer of the Max Rebo band (from Jabba's lair, not the cantina as previously mentioned)

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M

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