My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

This Little Piggy Will Eat Your Soul

I thought most of the world had already seen the demon marzipan piggy that went viral Christmas week, but then again - judging by John's horrified screams of laughter when he spotted it on my screen last night - maybe not.

So, without further ado, lock up the children, grab your security blanket, and prepare to meet your newest nightmare:

Not kosher, man. NOT KOSHER.

Jonas L. made this for two little girls, if you can believe it, and there are multiple disturbing photos of said children gleefully dissecting zombie Wilbur over on his website. I think it goes without saying that hogging this cake may be a real boar, but it will definitely make you squeal.

And while it ill behooves me to butt in with gratuitous pork butt pictures, this one is sooieeet!

And by "sooieeet" I mean I just became a vegetarian.

Thanks, internet.



Q: Why do pigs hate magic?

A: Because Hogwarts make them itchy!




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Reader Comments (210)

There are no words that can adequately describe that horror. Did the creator really need to be that, uh, uhm, anatomically correct????

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

Are you sure that's not a real piggy? When I went to culinary school I specifically went into Pastry Art and Design so I wouldn't have to see stuff like this. Cake and pastry is supposed to make you happy, not gag. :)

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCC

GORP! That is definately one of the most disturbing cakes I have ever seen! Why ? Why did they have to put a lil piggy porthole? Runs screaming from the room!

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertanya silvermane

I'm sorry, but that is sick, sick, sick, sick. Almost as sick as the dead baby cake; probably only by 1 "sick".

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

That is... disturbing. I think I need a shower.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Well, I'll be seeing that in my nightmares, so thanks! (Shivers.)

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAJ

Amazing the shapes that can be rendered with marzipan, don't you think? I wonder which is the more flexible medium, marzipan or fondant.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

But...but...I just don't understand! Why!? Why did he make an evil marzipan pig for 2 little girls for Christmas?!

He must be Canadian. The cold can really warp your brain.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I wouldn't know whether to taste cake or ham.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

*rubbing hands gleefully in anticipation of uproar over piggy anus picture*

Thanks for bringing out the sicko in me today, Jen. Bleah.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

I am so grossed out i don't even knowwhat to say!

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersue

That eye. It's like a Swine-ish tell-tale heart - I see it even when I'm not looking.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

Wow. I am deeply regretting that sausage I had for breakfast this morning.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelley


January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Sculpting skills - A+. Subject matter - D. I don't think she ever said WHY that idea came up, and it was solid marzipan? Who eats that much marzipan? Very disturbing to say the least.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharon's Edible Art

Not only have I not seen this viral photo - I didn't even need to see it today!! Ewww as a cake - but, put a rod up under that tail and put that porky on the grill.

How big is that cake anyway? The first picture looks kinda normal size but that other picture makes it look like a 100 lb. cake

Great work.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

I always love to read the comments here, but I see there are none yet. I know why . Everyone is speechless. I was getting ready to fry up some bacon for breakfast, but now, I don't think so.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRosie Hawthorne

I need an old butcher and a young butcher.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

ewwwww! But I did like the picture of the girl with both hands in the pig.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

this looks EXACTLY like the pig fetus I had to dissect in High school. only one of my fellow dissectors propped our gutted fetus on it's trotters and chased us all around the room squeeling like mad. it was really disturbing in a sick way. this reminds me of that experience...thanks I think.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJamie Jo

Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh....

eww eww eww eww eww

... uh....

No coherent thoughts coming to mind, just.... worst cake ever. EVER!

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

He obviously has some messed up kids.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Oh...oh my lord.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

that is absolutely beautiful - ly horrifying. wow.
I also live under a rock and had not seen it before.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterelizabeth

Wait, so it's just a solid lump of marzipan? *shudder* That's more disturbing than the pig itself.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBriony

OMG!... There have been some disturbing cakes presented, most in the baby-belly category.. But this is ghastly! I'm speachless.

Except to say Thank you, Jen, for another great post and comentary!!! Wreck-on!

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSandy in SoFla

NO COMMENTS? Are we all speechless, struck dumb with the sight?

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterme

Is that Wilbur's tongue or is there a piece a raw bacon in his mouth? Blech!!

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I love the last picture on his website showing one of the girls anally probing the poor confectionary pig. Maybe aliens are just curious children. I would have loved this at that age, I wonder if it would be possible to create a confection that is anatomically correct on the inside as well so that kids could learn anatomy in a yummy way?

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoelle

those images are permanently burned into my mind.
Why, G-d, WHY?!

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Solid lump of marzipan?? I hadn't even thought of that, Briony! *elbows way to the front of the lime with a platter, a butcher knife and crazed look in the eye...*

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

If you go to the makers website the pic of the girl looking into the marzapig's bum is by far the winner of the photos.

I'm off bacon. for at least a week anyways.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTeri

Marzipan gone wrong
Stare at the zombie piggie
Bacon? No thank you

(HaikuJoy, you've created a monster, but a nice, non-scary haiku monster :))

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

I had to open the web page link out of morbid curiosity. I find it most disturbing that the last picture shows one of the girls stabbing demon pig in the anus. If that were my kid, we may be off to the kiddie psychologist...

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShe-she

Wow. I'm exhausted suddenly. I think my brain flashed forward into the future and I have insomnia from the nightmares I haven't had yet.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBetsy T

I'm sorry, but since when has it been okay for little kids to gleefully poke out the eye or anus of a pseudo creature. I hope they don't have a dog.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

Bacon makes everything better!!!!

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

How very Lord of the Flies.....that eye, just follows you round the room doesn't it....

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B


January 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Bahahahah! That bonus piggy pun made me laugh so much I'm not even creeped out by the cake!


Well maybe a little creeped out.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAna!

:::chanting under breath:::: I'm not gonna YouTube I'm not gonna YouTube I'm not gonna.....
Thank you, Jen, for reminding me why I never considered School of Butchery as a way to create a more marketable me -- and thank you for ensuring I waste zero time on YouTube this month -- I'm pretty sure these 2 photos will be more than sufficient for this lifetime!
Didn't anybody warn this guy about swine flu?

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlex Dreamz

Real piggies are far, far cuter than that- we have 24 at the moment and everyone of them would make you squeal- with delight!
OK, a pig is going to end up as pork, but they can have a really good life until they do, and they look cute every day of it.
Even our old sows look cuter than that monstrosity.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKirri2

That tops it. That tops all the horribly disturbing baby cakes, Santa faces, Snowmen faces, and everything else disturbing you have posted. I can't think. My brain is seared. My eyes are burning. Lord of the Flies, indeed. Ug.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Urk. Thanks for putting me off bacon for the foreseeable future... I'm supposed to cut my sodium intake, anyway. *shoves package of precooked bacon back into storage*

Just gross. Gross, gross, gross.
How is that even a cake? Uh, gross!

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlaura

Q: What is the pig's favorite Karate move?
A: The pork chop!

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteph S

@Joelle - I just inappropriately snorted (ooh - another piggy pun). "Maybe aliens are just curious children" Love it!!!

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamtha

I don't want to go hog wild on this, but that is some, terrific, radiant, humble thingofa-jing-of-a-piiiiig!

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersome pig

Can my Jewish husband eat that?

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterguest

Me, personally, I love the pictures on his website of the little girls very scientifically (and with unholy glee) dismembering said marzipan pig. Reminded me of me when I was that age. Aheh.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

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