My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

So Hard to Say Goodbye

"Hi, bakery? I'd like to order a blue and white cake that says 'Bon Voyage, Charlie."

"Well, that's not exactly right. There's a 'V' in 'Bon Voyage.' But it's no problem. I can wait for the corrections to be made."



"Uhh.... well, I see that you've thrown a 'V' in there, but it's still not correct. 'Voyage' is spelled 'V-O-Y-A-G-E.' And his name is not Brian. Again, just a simple blue and white cake."


"Well, you finally spelled 'Bon Voyage' right, but maybe I haven't made myself totally clear. I don't want any drawings. What is... is that a bleeding cauliflower? Listen, I just want a plain white cake. In blue icing, I want 'Bon Voyage, Charlie.' Nothing else. Plain. Simple."


*sigh* "I appreciate your enthusiasm on this try, but it's still wrong. Please, just blue writing on a white cake. 'Bon Voyage, Charlie.' No extra colours. Just the writing. PLEASE."



"I don't even know who that guy is."



"Are you even listening to me?"



"We're not having much luck here. Let's just forget 'Bon Voyage' all together. Can you please just write 'Goodbye!' on a plain cake?"



"I'll take it."



On behalf of Randi H., Melissa S., Dennis W., Lindsay A., Valerie S., Lauren L., and Liz- we genuinely wish Charlie good luck on his trip. May there be no bleeding cauliflower on his flight.


« Bum Voyage | Main | Bouncing Here And There And EV'rywhere! »

Reader Comments (89)

I'm with Morgi - thank goodness someone said it. Seriously? Airbrushing the trim?

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEllenC

I can think of quite a few people for whom "Boyage" would be fun....? not minor boyage, but consentual boyage....uh, oh...

oh, and the cauliflower, perhaps is cotton? cottonpickin' hat wearin' shootin' at the cap'n? no?

These are too great!!

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, that comment about trying to decipher the bleeding cotton boll as a rebus makes me wonder......Jen? Do people actually make Rebus cakes?? Future post, pretty please? Share them!

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

on the cake with a picture of some guy is that at the chalmette batlefield!?!

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdestinie

C'mon, that third cake is so obvious. Mike is joining Starfleet and will be posted on the Enterprise. He and Indiana Jones have been chosen to head up a mission against the vicious natives of the planet Cottonfield. Using machine guns, they plan to squelch the Cottonfieldians' insidious plan to substitute all of our cotton underwear with nylon. Seriously...nobody else got that?

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Too bad the decorators couldn't spell voyage right on Paul and Michael's cakes, aside from that they're quite lovely.

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I want to believe that the original "Bon Boyage Charlie" cake might have been an intentional misspelling for someone who is expecting a son (emphasis on the 'want to').

"Goodbay Playre" could have been a prop from 'The Wire.'

wv- feczates: Spanish for chocolate icing poo-blobs.

Ahem *pushes up her thick nerd glasses* People in previous comments suggested Spanish and Tagalog as the wreckator's native language, but I think it could easily happen to a native English speaker as well - I happened to find this site, where it is explained better than I could :)
Basically, /b/ and /v/ are not that different, phonetically; think about the word play 'very berry', 'berry good', and other variations.

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I swear on the first one I didn't even notice "Boyage".

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

I laughed hard. Comedy gold!

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJram

[snorting my drink] That was positively hilarious. Cake Wrecks is the best! Boyage - oh my gosh, the illiteracy! [more laughing] Thanks for making my day; I really needed a laugh!

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I figured out what the bleeding cotton ball is... it's supposed to be a white carnation with blood dripping off it. Get it?


September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C/SoFla

*Someone* has to know what the bleeding cauliflower was supposed to be? Right?

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermystic_eye_cda

The "Bon Boyage" reminds me of my students who come out of gym class telling me they played "bollyball" today. You know, that game where they hit the back back and forth over a net.

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa H

I said it on FB, but i'll repeat it here...
Boyage = cleavage with man boobs.

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrie

Dear Cakewreckers,
Please stop by my blog. There's a beautiful blogger award waiting for you there. Hugs, Brenda

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthe Chacogirl

John, John, John...*shaking head*...I can't possibly drink that much on a work night...but please warn us if you ever do "A Pizza Reaction" post with pictures. UGH!

WV: excate - a word meaning to flee, as in "The excate prisoner was caught posing as the local wreckreator."

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

did the 2nd cake have BLACK roses???????

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertiny purple elephant

Urban Dictionary gives this as one meaning for "boyage":
Visit to see a boyfriend or fling, requiring plane, train or automobile, and therefore more time and effort intensive than the average boo*y call.

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

2nd & last cake both have blackroses/flowers on the green leaves. Does that mean "Bob Voiage" and "Goodbay" really mean 'good riddance'?

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Who the H#E$%^ are they hiring at these bakeries

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm actually happy to see these cakes. When I read the title, I was afraid you were announcing that you were having to "retire" the blog. I was more than a bit worried.


Thank goodness is was just more cake drama.

wv- glartive. What I imagine a lot of us would have been like towards you if you HAD announced such a tragedy.

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTable for Seven

@Melinda: My first thoughts on that third cake was that it obviously had to be an indiana jones x star trek crossover. I'm afraid I didn't pick up on the cotton plot though ;)

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLee

Anonymous said... All I have to say is 'Bleeding Cauliflower Controversy' would make a good name for a rock band.

now THAT'S funny!! paying for a professionally decorated cake & getting one of these? not so much.

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Black roses twice was too creepy so I looked it up quick: according to" rel="nofollow">Wikipedia (first place I look when I'm lazy), black roses symbolize "death, hatred, revenge, sorrow or mourning. It can also be used when conveying a farewell." Huh. Still creepy. As in farewell-we-are-sending-you-to-your-doom creepy.

September 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Hmm I guess in the wreckerators world voyage is boyage.. can't seem to figure out why they have such a hard time with that word. That bleeding cauliflower looks like a bridal bouquet gone bad otherwise that cake was ok lol my hubby would have loved the Star Trek stuff on it. I wonder if anyone told the wreckerators to get a dictionary if they don't know how to spell a word lol. Or just Google it.. if they can.

September 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

#2 Are those prunes?! What sort of 'voiage' is Brian being sent on, anyway?

#3 I think it is a rebus. The decorator did a decent job on the various symbols, actually. How many wreckerators would get the Enterprise right without resorting to flotsam? As to what the rebus says...? Someone knows the story on this cake. How can they be induced to come forward?

Rebus could be a way to get messages onto cakes without worrying about spelling, parsing errors, strange punctuation, etc. though it does rely heavily on the artistic ability of the person with the icing bag. In the CW universe, that's a real craps shoot.

#4 'Bon Voyge' from Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Cakes. Now where did I put those Bonine tablets?

#5 Extraneous quotation marks (the left ones are right on the border of the print) and misspelling. What more could Paul want?

#7 "Good Bay Playre"? For someone with the Packers, perhaps? And again with the prunes. Oy!

It's hard to get too worked up about 'bon boyage' when there are so many variations on 'voila', most of them phonetic. No wonder the French are snooty toward us. Not that one is likely to see 'voila' on a cake, but then, CW has opened up whole new vistas of things I never thought I'd see...

September 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Kind of like the old 'Who's on first base" joke. I like it. Too bad you can't get something simple when they are so inclined to over-compensate for their previous short-comings. By the end of the day, taking what you can get seems like a good idea.

September 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershikishinobi

nice post dude.....
i just like the cakes... lovely..

pls visit my blog for music downloading....." rel="nofollow" title="download free songs, mp3, ghazals, remix, pakistani, punjabi songs for free">Download Direct Hindi Music Songs And Ghazals

September 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMusic Jokie (MJ)

Celebrity is ass in a tin can. I also hate hate HATE the new rules about needing a passport to go on a damn cruise.

September 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkcunning

@M: Spock was said to have caught his ears in a rice-picker in "City on the Edge of Forever." (I remembered the crop but not the episode.)

September 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

As a Trekkie, I am loving that cake with the Enterprise and Star Fleet insignia on it!

September 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkohakuscorner

Why is "color" spelled "colour"? Is Jen a Brit?

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Came into the comments just to suggest that everyone find some 3D glasses for the Technicolor cake. It totally pops! Back to trying to catch up now.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBunnymuffin

Nope, Spock's ears were passed off as a mechanical RICE picker. The bleeding doohickey is definitely a lapel carnation. :-)

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't believe they have that reference on that cake. The "bleeding cauliflower" is from a famous scene inspaghetti western history. It was a white carnation from the final shoot out in Sergio Corbucci's The Mercenary.

October 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJonathan

Goodbay? Reeeeeealy?

October 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I suspect we need to don 3D glasses to view the fourth" rel="nofollow">best download software cake down properly.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbest download software

Oh my gosh, I loled at work....I need to not be looking at cake wrecks....

December 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteramandapearl2

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