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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Dec162011

Mmmm, Crunchy!

Hey, kids! Do you know what day it is?!

It's Chocolate Covered Anything Day!

[Kermit flail]

YAAAAAAAY!

 

Yep, today is the day when you can take anything and everything and cover it in CHOCOLATE!!!

And you thought chocolate-covered bacon was awesome.

 

Caught a fish on your camping trip?

Cover it in chocolate!

 

Wolf Spider crawling on you in the middle of the night?

COVER IT IN CHOCOLATE.

 

There's literally no end to the things you can cover in chocolate!

Right, guys?

Ew.

Um...

Hang on.

Dipped or sculpted?

[grabbing baker by lapels]

DIPPED OR SCULPTED?!

 

Well, whichever it is, you're going to larva this one:

*hurk*

 Okay, seriously. Japan? We need to talk.

[putting arm around Japan]

Look, I get it. You're fun! You're kooky! Hello Kitty and tentacles and all that. But chocolate covered beetles? Really? Is that even a thing?

It is?

*sigh*

Well, could you at least make them a little less creepy?

Apparently not.

 

Thanks to Kristina M., Cattie P., Jessica C., Amy M., & D.L., who will never look at that chocolate fountain in Golden Corral the same way again.

 ---------------------------------------

 

Quick Note: Hiya, guys.  Here at Cake Wrecks, we have right at 600,000 regular visitors.  I've met a lot of you, and I can say with some authority that you are all awesome. Seriously.  

So we're doing this Charity Countdown thing, and we're trying to raise five grand for 8 pretty cool charities. That means, if my math is right, that one out of 600 readers would have to give a buck a day for 8 days and we'd meet our goal.  

One person out of 600.  8 bucks total.  A frozen lasagna is 8 bucks. 

So.  Be the one.  Go here and do it.  It'll make you feel good, and that little will help someone a lot.

And thanks for being awesome.

 - john (the hubby of Jen)

« Sunday Sweets: Totally '80s | Main | Ho Ho Homicides »

Reader Comments (88)

"Kermit flail" is now my new favorite phrase of the decade.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterQuats

It would appear that chocolate does NOT, in fact, make everything better.

I need to go rethink my life now...

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

Why in sweet Jesus' name would anyone make a chocolate or chocolate covered dung beetle???

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

The beetles don't really seem weird to me, knowing how much Japanese children love them. They keep them as pets & play a sumo wrestling type game with them, seeing which one will push the other out of the circle first. (They will also breed them to sell, which is why the one cake has larva I think)

If they actually are chocolate covered I'm a little scared, but I'm still hoping they are molded or sculpted over covered plastic toys or something!

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Following the "rules" has never been my strong suit, so here's what I did; rather than donating $1 to 8 different charities, I picked 2 and donated $5 to each. Any problem with that? No? Good. Now, for those of you who haven't donated (and I can be preachy now, because I have) go and do it! Jen has it set up so you can see how much is being raised through Cake Wrecks (very cool!), and it only took about 5 minutes, tops. Five minutes of my time and a few bucks I'll never miss to take part in making a difference and feeling pretty good about it? Now that's a great deal!
Now I'm off to cover something in chocolate.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

If you need more proof that we should have a talk with Japan, check out today's engrish.com: http://www.engrish.com/2011/12/baby-burger/

*shudder*

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

In Japan, little boys like to keep beetles as pets and sometimes have them fight each other. You can even go to special stores to buy beetles and beetle food. Two of those cakes say happy birthday on them, they're probably for children.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJade

Now I have the Boar's Head Carol stuck in my head, thanks.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVal

In some countries bugs are a source of nutrients. That does NOT make those beetle cakes right. As for the rest of them D:

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I think that first one is actually Han Solo frozen in carbonite.

And the beetles are just creepy.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Yeah, second on the beetles for little boys thing.

As it stands, there are far worse cakes here.

Like Power Rangers Plastic-Flotsam Covered Christmas Cakes. D:

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAshuri

I can think of even worse things to cover with chocolate.
Want to hear what they are?

I didn't think so.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Translation on the big beetle:

"Kotarou-kun, otanjoubi omedetou" or, as we know it in English, "Happy Birthday Kotarou."

I hope he was excited beyond belief. XD

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn

Did you just give a shout out to hentai? Or did my dirty mind just automatically go there when you mentioned tentacles?

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

Is this like PUT A BIRD ON IT!(?)

Oh portlandia

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaryn

It is a well known fact among wreckies that stuff with a lot of chocolate frosting frequently reminds us of, ah...how shall I say this...poo.... So, of course, I immediately saw all these things as poo-covered. I smiled and smirked....until I got to john (thoj)'s comment that the CW site has "600,000 regular readers." And then I lost it... Good work! I heart this site!!!!!!

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Oh God. The spider.

<shudder>

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

I *must* have that first cake. My ultimate fantasy dessert! Where can I find it?!?

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

That spider was way, WAY too disturbing. I had to scroll quickly past it. And my co-workers agree. Please, no more spider cakes. *SHUDDER*

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

This is great! I'm going to go cover my Christmas tree in chocolate.
Then, maybe I'll coat it in sprinkles.
Most fabulous Christmas tree ever!!!

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Ew! Ew! Ew! That larvae cake is beyond creepy & disgusting!!! Let's go back to poo wants, ok? Yeah.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Don't remember if it was Dan Ariely or Malcolm Gladwell who wrote it but sometimes people, thinking there is a crowd, aren't willing to be the one who acts because of weird psychological things that make them think "someone else has TOTALLY got this". Even if "this" is a woman being murdered on the street. Pretty sure it was Ariely <http://danariely.com/>

Sorry. Freshman psych rearing it's ugly head.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMe

"Kermit flail." I love you.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

Well, I think you've done it. You've finally managed to turn me off chocolate forev...

Wait a minute... That was your plan, wasn't it? All those chocolate-covered monstrosities. All those poo swirls, poo wangs, and cake swamps teeming with frosted e-coli... You were trying to make us hate chocolate -- so there would be more for you! I TRUSTED you, but you're, you're...

YOU'RE DIABOLICAL!

Well, it won't work. I'm on to you now. I won't LET you achieve chocolate world domination. Go ahead. Keep publishing pictures of bugs, body parts, brussel sprouts, whatever, covered with chocolate. Keep blasting us with unfortunate poo swags, poo piles and poodles. It won't change my love for chocolate. We were MEANT to be together.

[Kermit flail.]

(You know I love you guys more than chocolate, right? Or, well, it's a tie. Unless I have an ice cold glass of milk in the other hand. Then chocolate wins -- but as I'm eating the chocolate, I'll reflect upon how fond I am of you... Deal?)

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Okay, I am an acknowledged and unrepentant chocoholic and would normally agree that covering 'most anything in chocolate can only improve it; but *Kermit flail redux* NOT THESE THINGS!!! Aaaagggghhh.

I also hereby second the motion made by Maureen... Please, no more spider cakes. Yech AND ugh. With a not-so-discreet *shudder* thrown in for good measure.

I am going to introduce "Kermit flail" into conversation whenever I can. It is, quite possibly, the best phrase in the history of forever.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

"Kermit flail" will continue to be my favorite mental image. And I may or may not have actually done a Kermit flail when I realized that today really is Chocolate Covered Anything day. (And I'm trying to imagine lots of Kermit flailing so as to cleanse my imagination of the chocolate covered monstrosities I just saw here.)

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

Actually, if you've grown up with them, those bugs are at the level of puppy cakes - and compared to those they're actually pretty well done. XD

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHisietari

Han Solo covered in chocolate?? Oh yea! The dungs beetles?? Oh NO!!! (I may save some of these photos to help me with my diet when my will power is weakening...some of these cakes could put me off food for good!)

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlabgoddess

Really? I think that fish...THING...is much more disturbing than all those beetles. Even the one with the larvae is really cute. I would not even consider eating it, though.

I think the US is a bit sissified. Yeah, you heard me! Are we the only nation that is afraid to eat an itty bitty chocolate covered insect? Okay, some of those beetles are bigger than my dog, but I digress. We need to start our own "thing". Oh, wait. Ours is "anything battered up and deep fried is delicious!". Hmmm....do you think we might enjoy beetles if....naaaaah!

Thanks, Jen and JohnTHOJ, for being awesome. Thanks for setting up those donation pages and making it so easy for me to be a little awesome, too.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

"Kermit flail" make me happy :)

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSue

kermit flail. hehehe

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersmothermother

I finally did it! And it feels good! :) Thanks for an awesome site & books, Jen! (and John)

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin

I mean, I finally got around to donating $1 to each project. NOT that I finally ate a chocolate-covered beetle.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Mmmm beetle birthday cake...droool....

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermrsblocko

It's interesting that they're birthday cakes, too. (They say "Happy Birthday," or, "Congratulations on your birthday") I've seen a lot of Japanese birthday cakes covered in fruit, but I must have missed the insect cakes. *shudders*

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmis

What is that second item - crunchy dead frog?

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCakelover

I looked at the last photo, and I think that the bakers who made that cake should quit being bakers and make an anime called, "Joey the Creepy Chocolate Beetle that tried to Destroy Christmas!" (season 1)
episode 1, "Meet Joey's Cat, Fuufuu." \m/(^.^)\m/

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatWag

That beetle in picture 5 I swear is flipping off the camera.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGranny K

I can't get the boar's head out of my own. Forget the beetles, what about the head?!?!?

On a completely unrelated note - any chance of getting some sort of donation tracker at the bottom of the blog posts? I did my donations on the first day, but when I go back to the pages to see how much has been collected now, I feel guilty about leaving the sites without donating again!

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermin

Because I just have to know "why" about weird things, I Googled your bug cakes.
Here's the lowdown.
http://www.cnngo.com/tokyo/shop/larva-love-komatsuya-hontens-valentines-bugs-769122

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCeeCee

I'm happy to support your charities and thank you for facilitating this. I'm sure you've heard, though, how difficult First Giving makes the donation process. If you have any input into their workings, it would be WONDERFUL if we could donate to all 8 charities on the same page. With each of the 8 donations, I had to go back to your Charity page, click on the charity, sign in again, enter my credit card again, my name, my . . . 8 times. I'm at work, and it was a huge investment of time. Thanks!

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJan in AZ

I love, LOVE, that we all *know* what a "Kermit flail" is!

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEB

Im so glad were doing the charities again this year!! I gave my $1 to all the charities except 1... TWLOHA saved my life. They got a little more :)

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMandybear

I am so glad that I was not the only one who ended up with the "Boar's Head Carol" in my head.

The beetle ones aren't so bad. If the beetles are sculpted, then KUDOS to you, o sculpting master. If they're chocolate dipped, OK... I wouldn't eat them but the cakes are quite artistic.

Now I'm off to find some chocolate. YAAAAYY! [Kermit flail]

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Wow... just wow! I understand the whole chocolate covered beetle cakes are cool in Japan thing, but still, for me... EWWW!

As for everyone's comments about the one cake being Han covered in chocolate, Think Geek actually SELLS a chocolate bar that is Han in Carbonite http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-edibles/ea87/?pfm=Search&t=chocolate%20han%20solo I got one for my 16 year old for Christmas!!! AWESOMENESS beyond AWESOMENESS! Not as awesome as Cake Wrecks though! :) Well, it IS Star Wars so yeah, it's awesomer, but Cake Wrecks is a close second! :) Ok, after Disney... love y'all!

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthesachsgirl

Wow. Whizzo strikes again? Yikes...

(Kind of amazed at how many seem to have missed the *Kermit flail* asteriskism when it first popped up... but it's still one of my favourites. Now, Muppet cakes on Sunday, pretty please... ;-) )

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterViolaNut

I'm with Andrea on the fish being the only scary thing on display here. What was the occasion for that one? 20th anniversary of the Exxon Valdez incident?

Even the spider, I don't mind so much, since it doesn't have a realistic spider face. (Note: this is not an invitation to post realistic spider faces, regardless of whether they are covered in chocolate.)

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

The last one is a birthday cake...Judging by the name, I'm guessing it's for a little boy, but I'm not completely sure on the age. I hope he liked bugs, haha.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Helmet beetles, not dung beetles! And the beetle cakes do say Happy Birthday.... still kinda icky, even when I know that Japanese kids keep them as pets...

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

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