My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Chock Full Of Fun

Hey, kids! Do you know what day it is?!

It's Chocolate Covered Anything Day!

[Kermit flail]



Yep, today is the day when you can take anything and everything and cover it in CHOCOLATE!!!

And you thought chocolate-covered bacon was awesome.


Caught a fish on your camping trip?

Cover it in chocolate!


Wolf Spider crawling on you in the middle of the night?



There's literally no end to the things you can cover in chocolate!

Right, guys?




Hang on.

Dipped or sculpted?

[grabbing baker by lapels]



Well, whichever it is, you're going to larva this one:


 Okay, seriously. Japan? We need to talk.

[putting arm around Japan]

Look, I get it. You're fun! You're kooky! Hello Kitty and tentacles and all that. But chocolate covered beetles? Really? Is that even a thing?

It is?


Well, could you at least make them a little less creepy?

Apparently not.


Thanks to Kristina M., Cattie P., Jessica C., Amy M., & D.L., who will never look at that chocolate fountain in Golden Corral the same way again.

« Rising to the Occasion | Main | Sunday Sweets: Christmas Cheer! »

Reader Comments (54)

Heyyyy... seen this one before. Two years ago, to be exact.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPernille

Sung to "The Candyman"

Who can take a cake wreck? And know that's her cue?
To cover it with chocolate until it looks just like poo?
The cake wrecker can. The cake wrecker can.
The cake wrecker can, 'cause for her chocolate is love and so she thinks she should.

Who can drench a pig head? Gaping fish or two?
Giant hairy spider and a pack of beetles, too?
The cake wrecker can. The cake wrecker can.
The cake wrecker can 'cause for her chocolate is love and so she thinks she should.

The cake wrecker breaks everything she makes
Honestly, the cycle's vicious
Satisfying no ones wishes
Who needs chocolate covered fishes?

Who can ruin chocolate? 'Til it makes you scream?
Maybe it's so she can have it all, is that her scheme?
The cake wrecker can. The cake wrecker can.....

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

It's all in fun and
kookiness until someone
loses vague threat here.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy


just ewww

now where did i put my eye bleach?

I mean, i like chocolate and all, but nope, won't be touching any of these creations.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermn_me

Well.....Jen and John, this post should come with a NSBB (Not Suitable Before Breakfast) warning--TRUST ME!

Is that poor thing in #2 nibbling the strawberry supposed to be a turtle? With dead eyes? The fish is what just about triggered my heave reflex...

I actually think the beetles are well-done! What's wrong with me???!!!

Thank you, guys!

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoanie B

All that first one needs is a melted watch draped over it for it to look frighteningly like the . . . thing in Dali's painting "The Persistence of Memory":
Am I right?????
Anyone else see it?
Um, anyone?

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

1000 Internets to Sharyn!

john(thoJ), you almost ruined chocolate for me -- fortunately, we're talking almost! ;)

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

That's not Chocolate, its Choke-a-lot.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Lol sharyn and haiku joy :D as for the cakes-they almost make me want to give up chocolate-almost :P

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

@Joanie B - no turtle in #2, just a severed pig's head. Much... better???

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCybrczch

Chocolate and insects should never, ever, ever, be used in the same cake. That's a rule. Yes, I made it up, but from now on, it's a rule, people!

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

@ Joanie B: I think the thing nibbling the strawberry is a pig's head…


December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

I can't even fathom why/how the baker thought dipping a fish in runny chocolate and putting it on a cake was a... good... idea. It looks too real, like the baker just pulled the fish out of a cesspool- I keep waiting for it to start flopping around. (Consoling thought- no real fish has a mouth like that. RIGHT?)

The beetles aren't bad, especially in comparison. Mostly because they're completely covered in chocolate, so I can pretend they're not meant to be edible bugs.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

Chocolate covered beetles...
we love you, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we love you, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we love you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah....

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

You KNOW what the sign on the last one says.(Yes, you do.)
"You clayzee Amelicans will fall fo anything, and pay good money too!"
@FM: Yes, I see it! That was always one of my favorite paintings! (I just called it the "Floppy Clock" one.)

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

For those curious, both of the ones with Jap text say 'happy birthday'; the second, specifically to a 'Kotarou-kun'.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLycopene

Sigh. I'm sure Kotaro had a happy birthday - last one - and whoever it was in the one 3 above him had a happy birthday too.

So Japanese. Beautifully executed, no misspellings - it's rare to see misspellings of *English* there*, let alone Japanese - and yet....

So very, very off.

*odd grammar, yes, but misspellings? No

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChristian Johnson

So where did we land with the dipped or sculpted? Pleeeeeeeeeze tell me they're sculpted! Cuz some of those beetles look pretty, well, dipped. *hurk*

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersandy

Here goes nothin'

I am so very glad
Haiku Joy lived to share
lost in translation

How'd I do? Huh? Huh? Huh?

I don't like bugs much and even if they ARE dipped in chocolate... nope, still not gonna eat one.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I lived in Japan for 2 years and never saw chocolate covered beetles. I feel cheated!

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAggiedog

Thanks a lot, now I'm going to have nightmares about chocolate-covered spiders...

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie Sparkles

I thought I was the only one that did the "Kermit flail".

@Sharyn - Bravo!

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMary

My Japanese is rusty, but I think the text on that last cake says:
"Kotarou-kun, otanjoubi omedeto!" which means "Happy birthday, Kotarou-kun." Kun is an honorific that I think is used mainly for younger boys.

Apparently Kotarou-kun likes him some beetles. Terrifying, chocolate beetles.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMatt J

So the FB post shows the chocolate covered bass and I'm thinking, "WTF???? Who DOES that????" Then I get here and see the pig's head. No, no, no. Then the spider. I almost hid under the couch.

But the beetles... The very life-like, LARGE beetles... My brain shut down. Golly.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

@JoanieB, not only is that a pig head, it is a pig head complete with snot in the nostrils. Because nothing completes your chocolate-covered pig head like snotty nostrils.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

The first one made me think of the "chocolate desserts with dangerous names" from Homestar Runner. I think I'll call that one "Chocoleptic Seizure."

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPocket

There is some movie with a chocolate covered fish JUST LIKE the one on the cake in this post! I saw it and had an immediate flashback to childhood. However I can't find the name of the movie anywhere (though I did find someone else asking the same question online). Does anyone else remember this?

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCara

ohh...repeat blog :-(

[Editor's note- Sorry. Jen needed a day off. -john (the hubby of Jen)]

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjt

Deja vu.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDeeta

I gotta say--I would totally EAT that first cake! Now, please! It looks a bit like a giant Almond Joy, except for the pale piping along the sides. I must be having a severe chocolate-withdrawal attack, because my main complaint about the other cakes is that there is Not Enough Chocolate in them to make them worth my time eating them (they are also repulsive, but for chocolate, I will forgive a lot).

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCloudy

I love imagining this post being read in the voice of the "Sham Wow!" guy.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAdiel

Yes, I have seen it before also. I kept checking the date to make sure I hadn't gone back in the archives! Oh, and that first one? I'd totally eat that.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterwordphreak

Dipped or sculpted? Not dipped. Those particularly ones - probably sculpted, but the others, possibly molded. Rhinoceros beetles are raised as pets in Japan. So they are indeed related to Hello Kitty. They also are used in beetle fights where money changes hands over the outcome.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

TL;DR: The chocolate beetles are sculpted from cake and fruit pieces. Read below for more detail and a link for proof.

I am not from Japan, but the city I'm in has a lot of Japanese ex-pats, so there's lots of Japanese culture brought over here.

In Japan, raising Rhinoceros or Stag beetles is a popular thing for kids, mainly boys. Kind of like raising monarch butterflies but way more popular. I'd say it's almost like having a pet hamster. Beetle raising is a pretty normal thing over there.

Because of this trend, you'll see cartoons/representations of these beetles in the same places you'd see other animals: on kids' clothing, toys, videogames and, yes, cakes. Say your little boy loves alligators, you'd get him an alligator cake for his birthday, right? So just replace the alligator theme with a Rhinoceros beetle theme because your son LOVES Rhinoceros beetles.

But back to the kernel of this discussion, are those dipped or sculpted? Well, according to this article, they are (most likely) SCULPTED from cake and fruit pieces which are then dipped in chocolate. Evidence:

So please, PLEASE put your judgement aside. Beetles are cute and cool in Japan. Think about ladybugs and fireflies. Adorable, right? But you're probably not putting chocolate covered ladybugs on a cake, that would taste terrible; they'll be made of candy.
A beetle with massive horns probably looks really cool to an 8-year-old boy, so why not sculpt one out of candy too?

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterF Saunders

Love how everyone is so squeemish.
Chocolate covered bugs are actually pretty awesome, ever had chocolate covered ants from the bug zoo?
They're also a plentiful and sustainable form of protein, and a common food source in other countries.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMinouche

Kermit Flail- LOVE!

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLindaJay

Hm, chocolate covered beetles ... Lindt truffles balls. Sounds like an idea for Xmas.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Beatles like that were kept as pets when I was in Japan - one was found in the grounds of the school I worked at and my coworkers were cooing over it for being cute, and it sat on a coworkers shoulder for the rest of the school day... So y'know, not wrecky (in Japan!)

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeany

Who can take a cake wreck? And know that's her cue?
To write a little ditty we can sing along to
Ms Sharyn can. Ms. Sharyn can.
Ms. Sharyn can, 'cause she has the witty rhymes to make us all feel good.

Sharyn, I humbly offer my tribute. Not adequate to describe your talents (or those of Jen and John)! But this came to mind when I read your song.

Am watching "Princess Bride" while working today. Mawage, Mawage is what bwings us here. . . .Wuv . . . twue wuv. . . .

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I think the beetles are all sculpted they keep those as pets in japan.. I am pretty sure the fish is fake too i think its a plastic one judging from the fins and mouth

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkit

@mel, I think the song you're looking for is "Help!"

@TLC, that's a lovely tribute, especially as we've seen beetles of unusual size today.

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

Kermit flail!! Yaaay!! So funny......thank you. :)

December 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLori

Well I need a huge can of Raid for my nightmares tonight lol.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Some things are just as good the second time around. Hope you enjoyed your mental health day. :)

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

The spider's cute. Just sayin'.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

The spider's cute. Just sayin'.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

What struck me was how #7 (Merry Christmas with Larva) looks just like its giving the Wreckarator the finger.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNCatt

FM: No, it's not just you. I got some serious Dali vibes as well. We can call it "The Persistence of Chocolate."

And I kinda like the chocolate beetles...but then, I've always enjoyed playing with bugs, so I guess it doesn't seem so weird to me.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShanti

The answer for the beetle cake is..unfortunately.. DIPPED. Here is an article explaining this weird trend in Japan:

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterElisa

Jodee, you did great! I love it!

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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