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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Feb152011

Conversation Starters

Show of hands: who got a box of conversation hearts yesterday? You know, the chalky little candies printed with whimsical messages of friendship and affection? Like "Booty Infl8n?"

Ok, now put your hands down. You're just embarrassing yourself.

I only ask because some lucky individuals received cake or cookie versions of the famous candies yesterday, and I'm wondering if they're all as whimsical as this:

Hey, it's no "huge me," but I'd take it.

Well I'll try, but darned if I know what "MNE" is.



Gosh, I've never been called neck wear before. Um...thank U?


Aw.
The best part is this doesn't make me want to run away and file a restraining order at all.


If you're asking, then a) Seriously? and b) No.

And you're going to need another your/you're refresher.


Seriously.

No, seriously seriously.

Come over here so I can slap you.



On second thought, stay over there.
Way, way over there.


You know, part of me thinks this simply has to mean "Sun Shine"...
but the other part remembers how to write a capital S.

So I'm torn.

Thanks to wreckporters Mike L., Jennifer M., Erin, Mariel K., Sarah, Noah E., Andrew T., Amy Z., Jacque K., & Susan R., who think we should give 'em something to talk about it: LOVE.

And then maybe a dictionary.

« The Golden Wreckies | Main | The Hardest Three Words To Say »

Reader Comments (94)

*hanging head*

I... just...
I just can't look anymore.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Cathrine

I thought the had wrecked My Fiance to My Finance initially.

Mmm subliminal messaging in what they want in a life partner.

But no.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLirion

Haha! Totally thought the third one said "Sweet Toe"

*That* would have been embarrassing.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

1- I wouldn't mind getting that one in the top left corner. It looks nummy. The 'So Big' one, though, is guaranteed to get a person slapped.
2- MNE? Mad Narwhal Exorcist?
3- Whoever V is, I wonder if they enjoy being likened to a toe.
4- Er...no. Just...no.
5- Fianice? It would fia nice if this cake wasn't so bad.
6 through 8- *headdesk*
9- See #4
10- T-omega symbol-x me?
11- Come to Luni Lhimu! Where the sun shines and the cakes are always wrecky!

vw: Jindepe- I'm jindepe in wrecked heart cakes over here.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfirecat88

I am pretty sure the "Your Amazing" one has a sticker over the word Tits.
*I* would be flattered to get a cake that is a tribute to my amazing tits. :)

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth C.

My brother's ex wife used to always mistype that she was his financee. hmm...

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth C.

OMgolly! Today's wrecks make me nearly pee my pants with giggles. LOLOLOL. It's the commentary that gets me going. You're (did you see how I spelled that) too funny.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am so bummed I did not have my cell with me as I went past the grocery store bakery last night. Large plastic take-out boxes with chocolate dipped strawberries and a random collection of plastic flotsam and conversation hearts literally thrown all together. Thanks for these, they are great!

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

#1 I also see 'I O U'. The sender should expect almost anything...

#2 is from management. It stands for, 'Be My Next Employee'. Above is a sign that says, "If you can spot the problem below, let's talk."

#3 If we had written just a tad smaller, 'sweetie' would have fit. Of course, the second 't' would have to be sacrificed... Love the romantic color combination: gray and neon orange.

#4 "Help -- I know how to write and spell, and I'm trapped in this bakery!"

#5 "Let's see -- what color should the writing be? Something that goes well with Pepto pink. I know... light blue! Now I'll write really big so that the message can easily be rea..."

#6b My amazing what? Drat that label! What is a 'cake enrobed chocolate heart'? Someone baked a chocolate heart inside the cake? That should work well.

#7 Again with the gray. What's the story on these color schemes?

#8 looks like it's frosted with butter (gag). No, no -- butter *creme*. Better luck next time. A kudos on including the apostrophe and 'e', though -- now to master where Mr. Apostrophe belongs.

#9 Hug Me, Twet Me, Spellcheck Me!

#10 "The test results are in -- we need to talk right away. I hope the color scheme and the squiggle don't give away the surprise."

#11 Proof that the medium is the message. The message is: gibberish.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I think some sort of award should be presented to these bakeries.

"Your shop has been featured on Cake Wrecks. Hire literate people!"

Something like that...

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWendy P

The "Save Me" cake now has Remy Zero playing in my head...

Somebody saaaaaaave me
I don't care how you do it...

wv: hesed
"That's what hesed"

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Tweet me? I have never heard that before...

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMicalah

I thought the "I heart U" monstrosity in the first picture said FOH. And you better watch out for those sweet tics. Those little rascals can burrow in like nobody's business.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWolverine Girl

The phrase "come over here so I can smack you" made me laugh.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterColleen Marie

I have to say that I was disappointed when I walked past the bakery in my grocery store yesterday....everything was spelled correctly and even the chocolate icing on the cupcakes (yes, individual cupcakes) looked really good.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjessica

I made some of those this year too!

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commentereugeneteam

It almost looks like they spelled "text" correctly at first, then decided that "Tex~ Me" was better.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The "so big" one is, of course, an homage to the Edna Ferber novel.

I'm sure that, just beyond the edge of the picture, there is one that says "Cabbages is beautiful."

wv - affil.

I have no affil-iation with the people who wrecked these cakes.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Save me is definitely the cry for help from the person at the bakery who's locked up in the back. You can tell by the correct spelling they do not belong there!

The creepiness of some of these also remind me of my "Worst Case Scenario" calendar that has "How to get rid of a stalker" as the how to tip on Valentine's Day!

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlma

My sweet toe!

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGianna

@ Trevor- there is no bakery QC person which is why we can have this blog in the first place!

“twet me” = t(shirt)wet, me win contest

I didn't see TEX ME I saw TOX ME which was way scarier. I've been to Texas & I ain't skeered.
Of course, it could be someone just asked the wreckerator what they wanted for lunch & they forgot the other X.

-Barbara Anne

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually I made my own message hearts this year using this recipe:

http://candy.about.com/od/valentinesdaycandy/r/convo_hearts.htm

I made some for my kid's class with the school name and her class number on them. Then I made a pile to go with my Wolverine show cake. Oh yeah. Some even have claw marks. Muahahahahaha.

BTW the feedback from the school ones was that they apparently tasted awesome (I can't eat sweets so I couldn't test them myself). I put vanilla in half and peppermint in the other half and kids and adults alike said they were leaps better than storebought, so I totally encourage others to try the recipe themselves. Easy peasy, especially if you have a little plunger cutter to churn 'em out fast.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

Lol anyone who sent cookies/cakes implying I am huge would probably end up with them thrown at them. And that save me one lol what exactly does it need saving from? Because possibly I might start running and screaming.

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Omg these were too funny. I had to go through them twice to get the full effect haha. Great post today.

wv: boying. Twet me and then let me know when you go boying.

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMollsmithie Smith

Thought that last one might say "I um Thine". Or maybe Lum Thine? Glad I didn't get any of those Wrecks for Valentines Day. LOL Thanks for the laughs on every post.

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPJ

"Your #1"... creepy friend w/ delusions? Indeed, you certainly are ;P

I also thought the last cake was Japanese or something and was trying to figure out what the heezy "Lum Shino" was :|

P.S. My captcha reads "hoeddit"-- I'm inclined to be flattered :P

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I read the last one as "Luni Lime" or "Luni Mime", I couldn't really decide.

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStrawberry Blogs Forever

I'm just curious.

WHAT THE HECK MADE THAT BUMP UNDER THE ICING ON THE "MY FIANU" CAKE?!

Ahem.

Also, nobody seems to have noticed that the border on the "your #1" is migrating off the cake in embarrassement.

I really, really, really liked the script on "Your'e Mine." So pretty. So close.

That last cake could be "Gun Ghime" (slang for give me a gun) which some people would find totally appropriate on Valentine's.

-Teabunny

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Be mne was probably supposed to say Be Mine, only in text speak. They were cute, except for the spelling errors..

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You can read "sunshine" off of that? You've obviously had years of experience decoding bad icing-writing. The best I could decipher was "Yum Thing"...which I guess isn't that bad to put on a cake.

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTamara Marnell

The "S" in that final cake looks almost exactly like the way people wrote the letter "h" in sixteenth-century secretary hand. This link is for scottish handwriting, but it's the same thing:

http://www.scottishhandwriting.com/cmLFh.asp

Also, the secretary "l" is an upright letter with only a small loop at the top. So, assuming this decorator was using the early modern secretary hand, I'd transcribe it as "hun hline".

If the decorator was using a sixteenth century hand to write in a much earlier Old English, then "hline" could be a form of the Old English verb "hlinian", meaning to lie down, recline, or rest.

So, "hun hline" could be a sexy antiquarian way of saying, honey, get into my bed. Subtle, right?

Hope that helps!

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiza

surely the last one says "Yum Thing"... well it could be worse.

wv: siesto
I've eaten so much cake I need to lie down and take a siesto.

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuse

But...but... I like the white convo hearts!

These cakes... not so much.

I sometime laugh harder at the comments to your posts - just because. You know, things like chocolate covered roses? EH?

Thanks for the laughs today.(funny how that line about 'come over here so I can slap you' is heard so often in my house) After a weekend with visiting toddlers, I needed some sanity!

~~Di

wv - scarri -- WAYYYY too easy!

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermladybright

NiteNurse said...

>> I do think that the phrase Maga Kum Latte should be enshrined in the Wreckie lexicon. <<

I think it's time for a new t-shirt!

wv - sperfi.

That would look just sperfi (a combination of sperm and spiffy)!

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Actually, the "Be Mne" heart cake/cookie is somewhat interesting, because 'mne' in Russian means 'me' ... so the cake decorator is actually telling the recipient to be the decorator... kinda weird/neat, huh?

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

So, so sad.

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Come over here so I can slap you. The best line ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

February 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteroi

that save me heart seems desperate. maybe it doesn't want to be eaten.

February 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that last one is Arabic. Or Thai.

February 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShimshonit

That one is an MNE. You know, those weird squiggly things that live in the ocean. Finding Nemo lived in one. Though I am unsure why anyone would wish another person to be one of those...

}:)

February 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSpacegeek Nat

Kind of late, but the first one isn't really a wreck in the strictest sense. If you look at the top part of the picture, you can see pink boxes... Those are cookie-making kits that were sold at Target, where you could decorate the cookies yourself. So they were probably not made by professionals, but in someone's home. Or some seriously sad "professionals" who don't even bake their cookies, but buy them premade, haha.

However, it's still hilarious, and the rest of these are great!

February 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually, I just posted a comment about the first photo and I take it back... On second look I can see glare, which makes me think they're display cookies from a Super Target, which is then hilarious. Sorry for momentarily discrediting the submitter!

February 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm thinking the last one was supposed to be "Young Thing" but ended up as "Yun Thine"--anyone else?

March 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The S on that Sun Shine cake looks like a Japanese "sa" in Hiragana, so I guess it kind of makes sense. Sa-un Sa-hine

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

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