My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Save The Cakes

Did you know that, every day, thousands of cakes go unpurchased?

It's true. These shunned desserts sit lonely and unloved on bakery shelves...

...only to eventually be shipped off to the day-old bread outlet.

But it doesn't have to be this way.

For a reduced price, you can help these poor, unwanted cakes find a place where they will be loved, cherished,

...and eaten.

That place being your belly.

Yes, your contribution can help provide loving tummies for rejected wrecks!

And just think: for the price of a candy bar, you can help turn these stale, unwanted, frosting-slathered sugar bombs...

...into a continuous sugar-high for someone else's hyperactive children.

And really, isn't that what we all want?

So please, visit your local bakery today, and save the cakes. For our future. For our children. And, for the love of Betty Crocker, tell them to stop making cupcake cakes while you're there.

I really can't take this kind of thing much longer.

Thank you.

Thanks to our "generous" "sponsors" Carly R., Garrett B., Jill B., Cheryl, Sabra L., Rasha H., and Dan & Christine M.

« Get Used to Disappointment | Main | Flagging Enthusiasm »

Reader Comments (86)

They were just being ironic with the piggy. We make sausage outta piggies he made a piggy outta sausage

It also looked to me like cockroach with a pigs face so maybe it was to an ex?

Wv:janisms Sending a cockroach pig cake is such a Janism. Oh Jan

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMistyK

Cue the Sara McLaughlin song...

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

euthanase them all.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Is that a baby BSD Daemon on a sheet of poo?

I think I'll go with Linux.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHerouth

Sendintheclowns idea is prime. We gather all the tiny surplus rescued dogs in California and send them to apartment dwellers in New York. Is there a comparable/parallel universe for surplus cakes? Norine

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is the last one a horse? For a 20th anniversary?

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertiny p. elephant

Gracious! What the HECK was that last thing??? Yikes!

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDenise :)

Why does this post make me think of Sarah McLaughlin?

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

1. Snowman/skeleton/butterfly

2. Baby chick crying because it was stepped on by Godzilla

3. Roadkill

4. Is it just me, or does happy made-of-radioactive-sausage piggy have prominent nipples? And other upstandingly anatomically correct thingies?

5. Monkey/frog hybrid

6. Adorable roadkill (Did I just type that?!)

7. WTF?!? Alien horse/cow/insect?

Word verification: orsest

These are the (w)orsest 'cakes' I've ever seen!

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was doing ok: ooh, good wreck; ohh, another good wreck; etc...

Until that HORSE thingy! Not sure why but it had me reeling from my screen in horror! Horse/CCC - EVERYTHING is wrong with THAT picture...!

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

so...that last one is a horse with an amputated rear leg? And this celebrates Diane's 20th anniversary of horse amputations??? EEEEEEK!

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

I would actually eat every one of those. Because after all, it's for the children....and my own sugar high needed to deal with the children...

wv: evericou: evericou should look like that last cake....oh wait, it's a horse...

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElisabeth

@Barbara Anne said, "Looks like radials to me and must’ve been a semi if it wasn’t a baby."

I didn't know babies had tires. [Ducks and runs...]

@April 'gets' this board.

As soon as I read the opening factoid in the post, I knew / feared I was about to find out *why* thousands of cakes go unpurchased.

#1 "New on Cartoon Network: 'Ghost Clown!'" Sponsored by the Pro-Coulrophobia Alliance.

#2 Something from 'Phantom Tollbooth' or a really interesting take on 'mother and child reunion' (looks like a chicken made from scrambled eggs).

#3 Someone really knows their multi-lingual puns. I can't *not* read 'amarillo' as 'armadillo'.

#4 Odie. He's not just for Amityville anymore.

#5 Monkeyfrog! You really ought to cut back on the 'pancake' makeup, dude.

#6 One of the Moon Men from 'Bullwinkle' met with an unfortunate accident.

#7 There is something almost artistic about this one -- kind of like a cave painting. Why do I think the cupcakes would convey the same impression.

I would gladly tell bakers to stop with the CCCs -- if I thought they would listen.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

That yellow squished bird looks like the offspring of Big Bird and Gonzo. Me no likey :(

That shiny monkey thing is rather horrifying.

The squashed crocodile, though, is kinda cute.

And I hope that Diane got a divorce for her 21st. Unless he got her a wreck because she's such an ardent CW fan! Then he's clearly awesome :)

As for putting the cakes out of their misery, I'm with sending the clowns here… toxic waste dump. That much icing (ugh… seriously people, it's called "cake", and icing means the finishing), plus what is likely dreadful excuse for cake (given they can't get anything else right). Not edible. And definitely not purchasable! Except for the crocodile, had he not been a CCC.

WV "ovetorti". Sadly, it's more nearnfurti.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

Took a while of staring in horror at the red pig pile to figure out it was something porcine and not a flea or mite of some kind (blargh!). And my first thought on the last cake was "what a sad little stunted giraffe".

wv - foope; foolishly hope - I foope my local bakery has better cakes then those!

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsbarrows

i'm not sure what some of them are supposed to be.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

That first ccc is clearly Mothra.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDoctor Tarr

I actually like the roadkill alligator. Got to love that face.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The pig cake is kinda perfect cause it looks like it's been made with hot sausages. Though I'm not sure how tastey hot sausages are with chocolate...

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJabby

I can't tell if that CCC is the dead horse, or the greasy stain on the ground where the dead horse used to be. Either way, does illustrate the point with CCCs perfectly- STOP MAKING THESE UGLY THINGS!

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

We'll stop making cupcake cakes when people stop asking for them. I seriously can't believe the lame cakes people order from me at Albertsons. So many people really have no idea what can be done with cake!

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngel

The equine cupcake project at the end was kind of cute in a good-concept-but-inadequate-execution kind of way.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ. S.

Somehow I think feeding any of those cakes to kids would cause nightmares lol. I know I will have horrid dreams of what looks to be a squashed red alien thing on top of a chocolate poo mountain. Scarred for life lol.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Does anyone else find the alligator cute???

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the pig in mud one looks like someone ate too much pink icing that had a little too much pink food colouring

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteramyandtenaya

That last one looked like a my little pony striaght from hell.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead

Absolutely lovin' the cupcakes haha :)

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWee Tait

Hey, did you see the Mousse-wreck on Top Chef Canada? :) Holy poop!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I know it's a wreck but I would give #2 a home it's kind of cute!!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

How about shipping them to the Island of the Misfit Toys? They'd be in good company, until they were eaten.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPauline

Yes, it certainly goes to show that sometimes what you get isn't quite what OH DEAR FREAKING GOD THAT BABY CAKE!!! AAAAA!!! SOMEBODY KILL IT!!!!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClint

I just have to point out on the first cake: In the "display" Tinkerbell is flying and happy... In the "realist" cake... she looks depressed... laying down, arms crossed. Dear lord, even the plastic figurine is disappointed in the decorators!!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica W

very funny, Craig! I had to read it twice to get it. I did pass English in school but that clearly doesn't mean diddly squat.

-Barbara Anne

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The crying cake.... so sad!

June 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

Darn, and I could've really used a "Happy Little Demon Pig Made of Intestines" cake not two weeks ago.

June 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGoueznou

I was good on that post till I got to the one where they emptied the intestines and then used them to make a pig... shudders.

July 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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