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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jun282011

The Future's So Brite...

With graduation season over, you might be tempted to revel in the heady hopes of a brighter tomorrow, what with all these freshly educated, newly degreed youngins descending upon our workforce and all.

I'm here to fix all that.

This cake was supposed to say - I kid you not - "It's a girl."

That apostrophe placement will be haunting my dreams tonight.


Of course, it's also possible to get the spelling and punctuation perfect, while still completely missing the point:

Granted, this could be a "he said, she said" issue.

Hey, remember when preschoolers were taught to put the square blocks in the square holes, and the round blocks in the round holes?

Do they not do that anymore?

For some reason I'm getting the feeling this is supposed to be a base"ball." Odd.

And remember that toy with the pull string that told you what the dog says?

Do they not have those anymore, either?

Wait. Is that a cat?

Ok, now I'm really confused.

Still, I guess we can take comfort in knowing that these wreckerators won't always be wreckerators:

Eventually they'll get promoted to management.

Thanks to Becky A., Jane R., Stacey S., Jennifer V., & Alissa P., who want to ask that employee in the background, "Hey, why the long face?"

« The Far Side of the Bakery | Main | Literally In A Class All Their Own »

Reader Comments (74)

I think "mourning shifts" are early morning or late evening shifts.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

"All right children, it's Story Time"! Today's story is about a sad orange kitty. See, Orange Kitty says "Woff, Woff".

You are right, children--that is a TERRIBLE story, we will read something better now.

Here is a story about a little cloud that wanted to be a baseball, and here is a story about a Gini, oops, I mean a Genie, who lived in a flower garden, and here is story about...never mind, we will try Story Time again next week children. The Story Lady needs to go get some "medicine"."

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPrism

I think that first one actually says, "I don't give a flying fig about this job"

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

"I'ts Giri" sounds like a great/terrible sitcom title. Either way, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't watch it.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnneliese

I'm surprised the second one doesn't have Just written before say. Like an arguing couple deciding on what they want finally get frustrated enough turn to the wreckorator to give the order and they tell them
"Just say 'We will miss you.'"

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLizzy

Perhaps the Woff Woff kitty cake is in tribute to the barking cat viral video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP3gzee1cps

That doesn't explain the spelling, however.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

GAH! I didn't even notice the apostrophe placement on the first one until you pointed it out. Now it will be haunting me as well....darn you!

And clearly person that gets the job at the bakery in the last picture will be mourning their grammar, spelling and cake decorating skills, which are strictly forbidden at a supermarket bakery.

No, that orange "being" can't possibly be a kitty. No self-respecting cat would be caught dead wearing a bow. ...and that one looks pretty dead, too.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

wv: aquese
The stitches on that cloud remind me of badly done surgery. Now, I'm feeling little aquese.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

"Mourning shifts" sounds like a dangerous place to work, like something dear Mrs. Lovett needs to hire.

Reminds me of the hotel up the highway that had a "Now Hiring: Housekeepers" sign for so long that we started to suspect it was a ruse to feed some Doctor-Who-ish beast they kept chained in the basement.

Or it's possible I just have a sick mind.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

"Mourning Shift!" Wahahahahaha! Ok, seriously now, my boss makes that type of mistake all the time. He has told one of our suppliers, who's name is Clarence, but my boss always spells it "Clearance", that he made us look like "fouls" (fools) in front of our "Costumers" (customers). And I'm in the fashion business. Can you imagine if I was a baker?

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGwenyver

If you pronounce the first one with a soft "g," it sounds like "It's scary." - with an accent like the Count from Sesame Street. Just sayin'

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I guess mourning shifts mean you're going to regret the job.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

What? My dog says "Woff Woff" all the time.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBuffy

The mourning shift? What time is that?
Oh right... just after the graveyard shift.

Oh dear this must be how wreckerators get more and more wrecky. No one wants to employ a new worker that is more 'clever' (or at least as 'clever') as they are... or they might do themselves out of a job.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLady of the loch

Are we "mourning" whatever died and went into those jars? It's all so creepy-- is that stuff you're supposed to eat?!?

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I "mourn" looking at these cakes. especially the giant red centipede creeping across the cloudy cake. that one terrifies me.

wv: seropa. where is seropa? I'm so depressed I need to hang myself.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Am I the only one who saw Crookshanks?

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHannaSolo

I'm speechless. And that orange cat/dog thing is scary.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Mourning shifts... Hilarious !!

The baseball one... that's scary.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMel

That first one reminds me of an old commercial where the couple was trying to save long distance minutes. He calls his mother up and says, "Wehadababyit'saboy." as fast as he could. Of course that doesn't explain the grammatical horror that is that cake but it reminded me of that anyway.

WV-andem - Andem if you could spell girl wrong that would be great.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmerican Momma

We should be careful with our comments about the dog/cat. Judging by its left footprint, it's also part velociraptor.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie H

It's a "mourning" shift because it's the graveyard shift... ;)

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKayeStuff

I'ts giri: Because "it a gril" is SOOO last year!

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Reluctant Diva

in defense of the orange "dog" cake, in french, dogs say "oauf oauf" (or that's what they told me in high school), which is pronounced "woff woff"...i know, it's a weak defense, but i had to throw that out there

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKate

#1 Well, I do know a woman with the surname "giri" ... but wow, to not know how to spell "girl" is a level of illiteracy that I can't mock in good conscience.

#2 That pretty much covers how I feel out our temp who's contract is FINALLY up on the 30th and has incorporated herself into a goodbye party for someone we like and respect.

#3 Cake wrecks is having an impact! That's individual cupcakes, not a CCC! As for the design, honestly not sure if that drawn on a conventional round cake would actually be much better.

#4 Well, I remember when the wife of a local celebrity died your small dog hot pink. And I did see an article earlier this week about a fashion in China to dye dogs to look like pandas or tigers...

#5 "Mourning shifts"- in a funeral home?

WV pangals. Another term for women who love baking!

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

Maybe they are hiring people to mourn at a funeral?

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Poor puppy/kitty/McDonald's FryGuy. Apparently its front feet are on backwards, for it to make prints like that.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJill

Wouldn't you just like to turn up to that job interview in a black suit plus top hat with feathers, doleful expression and see how far you got.....I despair!
(Our local vegetable market sells 'Oboe Jeans' - I don't know whether to laugh or cry!)

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

"Mourning Shift"...lmao! Somebody should be working at a funeral home or morgue, not a bakery.

As for the "baseball" CCC, given the state of education in the U.S. these days, they probably don't do the square peg in square hole thing anymore.

Never heard of a CCC before finding this site, but after seeing all the horrible attempts at them, yes, I do share your loathing of them.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The baseball cupcakes was eerily like the thing the aliens imbed into teenagers' spines which turns them into zombies in "Falling Skies"
Forgive me, I'm in morning.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMilesToGo

How dumb can people be??? Where are they coming from??? O_o

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gwenyver said...
"... He has told one of our suppliers, who's (sic) name is Clarence, but my boss always spells it "Clearance", that he made us look like "fouls" (fools) in front of our "Costumers" (customers)."

A restaurant where I used to have lunch had a sign, "Restrooms are for costumers only." The weird thing was, the place was quite close to the city's "design district," so if I hadn't known the proprietor (not a native English speaker), I might have thought it meant "costumers."

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

ME! ME! HIRE MEEEE!!!

I want the mourning job!
These cakes need SOMEONE to cry over them~~and I'm just the one to do it!
I can wail loud enough to scare the customers away!! (That IS the goal, right?)
I'll bring my own hankies, and, and EVERYthing!

Where do I apply??

=^O.O^=

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I may have laughed so hard at the last picture that I snorted, while I was at work, but the reports are unconfirmed, so don't believe a word you hear.

Fantastic work, Wreckers! It certainly brightened my morning...

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachelf

Maybe the wreckorator of that orange cat, or dog, or whatever got confused after watching this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP3gzee1cps&feature=share

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I wrote a murder mystery in the 90s that was titled Mourning Shift. It's set in a cafe... though I spelled it that way on purpose.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/038079943X/ref%3Dsim_books/002-1197451-1550459

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen Taylor

I agree w/flying gargoyle @9:43am.

Frankly, I think they all say that. LMAO!

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

The answer to all your questions is: 1) No. 2) NO. 3) No! or 4) Nooooooo!
Your welcem.
Rev W.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The mourning shift one?
It has to be the nourishment given to the hired criers at an Irish Wake.
(The family of the departed got roaring drunk.)
They sometimes propped up the body and put a drink in his/her hand, They toasted and the criers cried.
Tis true- happened in my Irish family.
mocking

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Mourning shift happens.
High-pitched giggles replace grief
over frosted flubs.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

"We will miss you."

Can I have my cake now?

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEve

Funny 'story', @Prism.

#1 Reminds me of Andrea Martin's character, Perini Scleroso on SCTV, who translated everything she heard into her own 'language'.

#2 This wreck could also be one of the better attempts I have seen to convey sarcasm in print.

#3 The little-known sequel to 'Field of Dreams' was 'Field of Nightmares', where a cornfield was taken over by the ghosts of old baseballs, reincarnated as CCCs. This one is especially scary -- a baseball-football hybrid.

#4 That isn't a dog, so why wouldn't it say, 'woff woff'?

#5 There's nothing wrong with the sign -- this is the Greek Tragedy Delicatessen. Not really suited to conversation because of all the wailing, but the food is sensational.

It would be easy to mourn the passing of English literacy, but Cake Wrecks has us too busy laughing instead.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Um, okay, "We will miss you."

"I'ts Giri": India's most popular sitcom. Oh, that Giri and his crazy antics.

If I worked around those cakes, any shift would be a "mourning" shift as in "where did I go wrong in my life to end up working here?"

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Maybe they think that's the British spelling of "morning".

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

That is not, in fact, a dog OR a cat.

It's obviously a Cheeto/dust bunny hybrid that was under Giri's couch so long it grew a face. And a hair ribbon. And velociraptor toes.

I'm going to stop now, before I give myself nightmares.

WV: thipspe. "No, I'm not in the least bit drunk. I'm not even thipspe!"

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfoxfyre

Well obviously, the long face is 'cause he is on the mourning shift.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKati

Any shift where I am required to punch in before 11 am is definitely a mourning shift.

Sharon (not a mourning person)

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Isn't "woff woff" the sound corduroy pants make when you walk around in them? That... whatever it is could be a crumpled pile of leftover cords!

WV: gostro.... these cakes give me gastro-intestinal distress!

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPrincess Judy

We, Pink Drink Ladies, are cake "mourners". Mourning the loss of quality spelling on today's cakes.

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pink Ladies

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