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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Sep222011

The "Wonders" (of) Punctuation... 

National Punctuation Day is this Saturday, so allow me to present a mini educational series on the "wonders" of punctuation.

[Cue the cheesy music!]

 

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

 

Now remember, boys and girls: Punctuation can be a scary thing, but skipping it all together is never the answer.

Unless you want to command everyone to love their "senoirs."

 

On the other hand, filling your cake with the wrong punctuation isn't the answer, either.

Ah, a classic case of WTH: "Where's the H?"

 

Fortunately, punctuation allows us to add an appropriate level of enthusiasm to our greetings:

Pass the tissues. I think Linda is having a moment.

 

...not to mention convey our "sincerity":

And we mean that, Elizabeth. Like, soooo much.

(Btw, bonus points for the random asterisk. I assume the footnote came on a cupcake? That said, "Not really"?)

 

Of course, it is possible to go overboard from time to time:

Not to mention that pesky "you're" business.

Yep. Pesky.

 

And will someone please explain this?

Parentheses? Really? Look, bakers, I'm pretty sure no one has ever - EVER - ordered parentheses on a cake, so why would you even consider...

Ok, so ONE person ordered parentheses on a cake.

That just means you're both wrong.

"Congratulations."

 

Thanks to Andrea M., Anne G., Anna S., Linda J., Margaret J., Lisa, Kayla H., Debb D., & Bunny B., who I hear enjoy cooking their dogs and their families. So let's eat guys!

« Less Than Punctilious | Main | Stop. Helping. »

Reader Comments (93)

Ah, have to love human stupidity. And the "WTH" is more than a bit amusing. Looking at messy cakes all day would be interesting, but your commentary is what really makes Cake Wrecks worthwhile. "Thank you!)

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaria

Oh dear, this is why we need better education

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

At least they spelled "Congratulations" correctly!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanet C

I keep going back to that first cake. What were they trying to say? If accountants are rare and awesome, where's the missing e? If they're merely awesome, why the extra r? Maybe it's code.
Tax code!!!!!!

Senoirs. Is that French?

FYI: Parenthesis is a small coastal village in Greece. When visitors leave, it is customary to present them with a giant, decorative black and white cookie. I still have mine...

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

MAJOR kudos to the last one....they spelled parentheses correctly! Wow!!

And, I feel so bad for poor EliJah...

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Jen, you're (yourerer?) hilarious. I laughed hard at the random asterisk part. Who else but you would think of "a cupcake somewhere with the words 'not really'"? Thanks for the aching sides this morning!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

I am SOOO glad I went to school when they were giving out educations along with diplomas. Lordy, an entire generation of teachers must be rolling in their graves.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I'm guessing the Accountants discussed on the first cake are a bunch of five year olds; making them both both rare (have you ever seen a five year old accountant?) and Awww worthy -or aw-some as the cake says.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Aaah, I want to stab myself in the eye with a decorating tip every time I see a cake with misspellings like "you're/your"!

Never have I ever seen "your'er" before though. Sounds pirate-y.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJess

I know I should be focusing on other stupidity in that cake (and trust me, I am) but what on earth is with the random capital J in Elijah? Is he German and plagued by insecurity? Eli, yes, you're 5!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBriony

Perhaps (Debb) had just finished her dissertation on parenting. You know, her "Parent Thesis." The wreckerator saw an order form that said:

Congratulations
Parent Thesis
Debb

and assumed the resulting cake was what they meant. (Your'er not buying this, are you?)

Oh, and just in case I want to add something in a later post... *

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I prefer my accountants medium-well but everyone's allowed to have different tastes!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDark Lord of Marketing

Oh, crap, I missed "talk like a pirate day" again.

I want a cake with an asterisk and a footnoted cupcake. Just like Terry Pratchett's books! :)

The rest of the punctuation (and the pesky your/you're/your'er problems), I can live without. Though I was vastly amused, as always. Thanks for brightening my day!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

ElJjah Your'er 5 made me giggle like Anderson Cooper

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

I've never commented but after your post about the nit pickin' ninnies I decided I'm going to start to help show you how many people enjoy your wit. So here goes... I LOVE today's post! When I get bored I read the paper with a red pen, so many grammatical errors. (I feel weird admitting that) (Why is it not wierd? I before E except after C. There's no C in weird!!!) You have an excellent wit & this page is the first one I visit in the morning to get my day started off right. Thank you for your general greatness & random Princess Bride quotes. Please do morrrrrrre.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJackson

So, firstly, because Saturday IS her birthday.... a "Happy" * Birthday to my greatest friend Elizabeth... (if she gets to the comments this week.. ;-)

And the contributors this week sound an awful lot like that pesky panda..

have you heard about him?

He walks into a bar eats shoots and leaves.

I'm just sayin'..

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterstaxia

Ack, you missed one: when you wrote That said, "Not really"? The question mark should be enclosed in the quote!!! Bad punctuation, bad!


[Editor's note- Interesting that you would catch that. Actually, after many long minutes of heated discussion with our English professor type friends, Jen has decided that sometimes, the British placement of punctuation makes a whole lot more sense than the American placement. Examples:

American- Did they really just say "Not really?" This is technically right but it reads poorly since "Not really" wasn't originally a question.

British- Did they really just say "Not really"? While this looks funny to our American eyes, it does make more punctuational sense.

There it is. I love being a part of a group of people who understand why this stuff is important even if we don't always agree on what is correct. Wreck On, Anna. - john (thoJ)]

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna B

I love looking at the pictures you post, laugh 'til I cried at a lot of them. However, one thing upsets me -- I've been looking for a PT job to help cover expenses since I retired and have not been able to find one. I want to know how it is that people who cannot spell apparently manage to get (and KEEP!) jobs that require some degree of literacy, even if it's "just" decorating cakes?! And doesn't someone check their work?

For years, I worked as a graphic artist at a business where I was told to follow the client's copy as closely as possible when I laid out their ad. I was actually involved in a battle w/supervisors to convince them the clients really did not *want* their promotional pieces to be bad, with incorrect spelling, etc., that's why they turned to us -- to make them look good. Shouldn't that also be the case with bakers?

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersara

i almost mashed my head into my desk when i saw the decimated black and white cookie. REALLY?!?!?!?!???!?!?!?!?! first of all...... why did they want it in parenthesis? secondly, why oh why did they put it on the most heavenly cookie on the planet? sad day

and, SueBee, that was brilliant, just brilliant. made my day.

under neat that

your'er 5

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTerrrs-uh

What a coincidence! I also love cooking my dog and my family! I also love the Oxford comma, but apparently that's no longer fashionable.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKerri

Jen, you made me laugh tears! Actual tears of laughter! Which might explain why I misread a word under the glistening brown cake. I read, "Pass the tissues. I think Linda is having a movement." Oh, gross!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Heya Jen,
You know, seeing all this just reminds me of the day I went to my kids' school and saw a big poster outside a classroom with a pie chart of the kinds of shoes the children wore. The teacher very clearly wrote the following: There is 14 kids with laces in there shoes in our class. I started ranting to my daughter about the declining standards of education when along comes another teacher who proceeds to tell me that spelling isn't that important for a math teacher! The problem is that this was elementary school and the teachers don't just teach one subject, they teach them all! I have also had another teacher dispute that in this day and age of computers they aren't concerned with "silly things" like penmanship, grammar, spelling and basic math because "we have spell-check and calculators for that!", I just looked at the woman - someone I actually went to grade school with - and shook my head wondering if our old teacher would be proud of her former student. By the way, you'll blow a gasket if you read the article in the September issue of Reader's Digest on cheating in universities, it's a real eye-opener. Thank you for being one of the few people willing to publicly denounce these dunces.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoelle

Is it just me, or does the "Happy" * Birthday Elizabeth! cake actually look pretty nice, before someone started writing on it?

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterK

I had to fight to not tilt my head back and forth like a confused dog when I was trying to read the Elizabeth one. The writing goes on all angles!

I just can't believe how many of them have multiple mistakes and are just so wrong.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Great posts. I know you were wondering where the H was in "Happy Bithday's" but I was trying to figure out why birthdays was possessive. Maybe it was Happy Birthday's Cake.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSirena

Tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. You make my day Jen. Laughing so much it even took a bit for some of the spelling to sink in. And then I'd laugh some more. Great way to perk up my morning.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn

This. Was a "GREAT" post's.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarrieW

Someday I want to receive a cake that has nothing on it but quotation marks. Well, that and frosting, too.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Thank for the literal LOL.... that resulted in weird looks from co-workers.... but you made my day "Awsome".

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

I am so naive. I was sure the domination of Cake Wrecks would make all these kind's of errors* as rare as hen's teeth. I am frankly "astounded" at how many your still able to "find."


*All asterisks should deliver us to cupcakes. You are a jenous!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

One of these days, I'm going to encounter "Bang your dead" and accuse the writer of necrophilia.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

What's especially sad about the Elizabeth cake is that without the writing, it's a nicely done chocolate cake. Not fancy, but it has even borders, is nicely piped, and is not a gross color. Then the "writer" had to scribble unevenly and ungrammatically all over it.*

*Nothing to see here; just wanted a random asterisk.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I believe these cakes were all made by students of the ill-fated, yet little known decorator known only by his nickname, “Tips.” Enthusiastic, yet poorly educated, he was high strung. Some would say tense, but actually, he was past tense, though his mood was good. He was the victim of an unfortunate accident – he was looking for a misplaced modifier when he stumbled over a gerund and fell. He tried to grab a dangling participle to break his fall, but missed. He landed on a sharp rebuke and ended up with a split infinitive and an injury to his colon. He was able to get up and tried to make a dash for it, but couldn’t. This was not a good period for him, and, unfortunately, he died of his injuries. He was a good fellow, loved his Grammar, and was kind to nouns. In fact, just before he died he had attended a pro-noun rally. Looking back on his disastrous life, it was as though the fates had sentenced him to death….

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Oh my. That your're scares me more than the average you're/your mistake.(That takes true talent.)*

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

PUNCTUATION:
The difference between "helping your Uncle Jack, off his horse" and "helping your uncle jack off his horse"

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristi Aliaga

I would just like to say: I have Accountant's Rare and I don't think it's awesome at all. It's rather painful in fact. So yes please, bring on the Awwws. Mind you, I'm not sure why anyone would want to celebrate the fact by cake.

Andy
(ACMA)

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndy

Punctuation has its own Day? How do you celebrate it? Make cupcakes with random parantheses sprinkled atop them? Scatter periods gaily as you go, dancing lightly and singing "tra-la-la"?

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Oops, sorry. That first one is a note I was passing in baking class the other day. It's supposed to read, "Accountant's Rear, Awsome" (cuz he has a cute butt, see....). It's okay, I can say that. My husband is an accountant. :) Best part, you get to eat the note when you're (your'er) done reading it!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@ kristi alaiga

A little early yet for Xmas, but a chorus from the dubious PDQ Bach
Throw the yule log on, Uncle John
Throw the yule log on, Uncle John
Throw the yule log on, throw the yule log on, throw the yule log
on Uncle John

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Accountant's rare, awesome WHAT? I'm with you, Jen - WHAT is so rare and aw(e)some about that accountant?

Also I love to read your comments out loud? And make my voice go up? When you end with a question mark?

I love you and will see you in West Hartford in October.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

The fifth cake looks like it must have been made by two different people - one with a steady hand, great piping skills and some grasp of reality, and the other.... his confused, slightly stoned twin brother?

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOrna

I'm just impressed that cake 8 spelled "Congratulations" correctly.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThalia

* Mel, you just made this grammar geek swoon.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Poor Linda is still in suspense.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

"who I hear enjoy cooking their dogs and their families. So let's eat guys!"


I really hope that doesn't end up on a cake!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMimi

I'm just happy they spelled parentheses.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEsther

Come on! At least the last cake has nice handwriting and they spelled parentheses correct. :)

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCeeCee

Im' so, bringing this "post" into my: ESL (class tomorrow.)

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

Ok, I'm going to go watch the Victor Borge Inflationary Reading sketch now. In honor of Saturday.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElsa

I love you period
Do you love me, question mark
Please, please, exclamation point
I wanna hold you in parentheses

This popped in to my head when I read todays blog...now go enjoy it in your head too!

You're welcome.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKim

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