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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun032011

I Guess The Butt Was Laughed Off?

I like Dexter. I know it's a horrible show and I shouldn't, but I do. (This is John, by the way. Jen claims she'd rather "exercise" than sit through a single episode. Harsh.) Still, there's one thing missing that I think would make Dexter truly great: puns.

Think about it. The occasional "good" CSI-style pun could transform Dexter from a pretty decent cop show about a psychopath who chops bad people up into little pieces and keeps blood in his air conditioner into a pretty decent cop show about a psychopath who chops bad people up into little pieces and keeps blood in his air conditioner...with puns.

Allow me to demonstrate. (With a little - ok, a lot - of help from Jen.)

Random cop 1: "Hey, Dex! Take a look at this blood splatter in the garden."

Dexter: [serious look] "Well, I guess the killer didn't stop... to smell the roses."

Random cop 2: "Oh, man! It looks like the victim's nose was sliced off with a cheese grater!"



Dexter: [putting on sunglasses] "Hmm. I smell a rat."

Random cop 4: "And his feet were thrown over the back wall!"

Dexter: [taking off sunglasses] "So you're saying he got a little...foot loose."


Random cop 753: "I think we found the rest of him over here by the tool shed! Does this look like murder to you, Dex?"

Dexter: [putting on sunglasses again] "Ab-solutely."

Random cop Bob: "Cause of death appears to be a small steel marble lodged in the brain. The vic was a famous marble-collector, but a few seem to be missing from their cases."

Dexter: [squinting] "So losing his marbles was the last thing to go through his mind."

Random cops: [applauding]

Random cop 8675309: "What the...? Hey, Dexter, I think we have an extra limb over here!"

Dexter: "Huh. Maybe the perp was looking to get a leg up on killings."

[silence]

"No? Ok...uh...

"This is a killer who never toes the line."


[everyone avoiding eye contact]

"Still no? Ok, ok, I got it:

"Looks like those little piggies went, 'Whee whee whee! We're DEAD.'"

Thanks to Kelly M., Joanne D., Jenny W., Emma R., & Anna I. for putting murder...on the menu.

Although I don't think I'll be eating again any time soon.

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Reader Comments (111)

too funny :)

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

Another Dexter fan here! And I actually had very little trouble imagining the first two puns, at least, as something Dexter might say to himself in his voiceovers.

That "toe jams" cake is nightmare-inducing.

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEve

like this your blogs...... its so funny your product

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentershinchan

I liked Dexter the first two seasons, then it kind of went far off the path. Those first two seasons actually had a lot of humor in them!

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I LOVE DEXTER!!! Best show EVER!!!! =D The books are pretty great to

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I know people say from time to time "I'm going to have nightmares" but for real last night, that last toe jam foot was in my dream!! and it was scary!!

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpeajay23

Is it just me, or could anyone else hear the "CSI: Miami" wail (you know the one) after every single one of these puns? (WAIIIIILLLL!!!!!!!!!)

June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Excuse me?! Dexter is a "horrible" show?!?! BLASPHEMY!!

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Re: Cake 1
Random cop comment: "Looks like something bad happened to the peonies"

Sorry, couldn't resist. The only thing better than a bad pun is a RUDE bad pun.

June 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

SarahRod was right about the last cake. It was made for my friend's mother who had already had a couple of toes amputated due to complications from diabetes and was having her leg amputated from just below the knee down. The patient was dressed as a pirate (peg leg) in the hospital before the surgery, and the cake went along with the theme. Yes, they are a family who has always dealt with trauma through humor whenever possible. That's one of the reasons that I love them all so much! FYI, I have recently spoken with the patient and she is doing well and thinking positively about going through physical therapy and getting her prosthetic leg eventually :) It made me smile to see the cake here!

July 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What the bleep is number five? I do know what number six is though. DISTURBING.
No more toe
Jams
Yuck.

February 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWreckophile #1

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