My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Are Anivery

13 years ago today, Jen and I got married. And, because we both forgot we're both above materialistic declarations of love, I've decided to express myself the best way I know how: with pictures of goofed-up cakes.

[Cuing sexy saxophone music]
[Lighting candles]
[Duck face]

Ohhhh, girl...
Girl, in case you didn't know, girl...

Today is our anivery. That's right: the day I gave all of me to all of you...

[Eyebrow waggle]


And I want you to know, girl, that you are my love, girl...

And today is our love day, uunnnnngggggg...


First, I'm gonna cover your pillow in beautiful flowers...


And then, I'm gonna feed you strawberries in the candlelight...

Mmmmmm... Ecstatic!

Because today, like no other day, is the day that is our day, today. Girl.

And when the time is right...

and the lights are low...

I'm gonna get real comfortable...

and read you this poem:

Aw, I'm just kidding, of course, girl.

You're only getting a picture of the cookie.


Thanks to Jan, Madeline S., Jennifer J., Andi F., Mackiesmama, and Stephanie S.

And Jen, for 13 amazing years.

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Reader Comments (130)

Those could be grounds for divorce

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMINDY1

The fifteenth anniversary is big metal chickens, so maybe you ought to start working on blue prints to build your own now, since you're so handy.

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

You know you spend too much time on the net when you actually think this is romantic. Congratulations, Jen and John!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaantje

Happy anivery!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJasini

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Happy Anivery, both of ya!
I love love love that scary one with the reclining devil/baboon thing whose face and hindquarters are all in a flush of LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLily

Harpy animaversary too 'you'.


August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Happy Anniversary!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternewbuffalomom

Have a happy anivery... and get her something more than a 'pleasent' picture of a cookie if you want to have more. Two pictures of cookies might work.

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

Happy Anivery!!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa


He's definitely a keeper!

Happy Anivery to you both!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Have a pleasent anivery, John and Jen!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Awww, John, you shouldn't have!!
No, seriously, dude, you shouldn't have...

Happy Anivery John and Jen!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkwege

Can't stop laughing!!!!

What is that THING on the 5th cake?!?!?!?!?

Happy Anivery!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Happy Anivery!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

Happy Anivery! This post actually is very sweet, but I feel sorry for whoever received those actual cakes!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Hapy Anivery! Hears to 31 moar yeers of weeded bliss! And cake wrecks! And Dog bless us everyone!

Ok, that was stupid--seriously, happy anniversary and eat something worthy of Sunday Sweets!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Awwww, happy anniversary!!!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda joy

A very Happy Anivery to you and Jen! Enjoy your Love Day! A picture of a cookies is, in fact, the traditional gift for the 13th anivery, but feel free to add the "pleasent" violets ( a rare breed, indeed) and maybe...sprinkles....? Again, congatualtions, and best wishes for many, many more.

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

I think somebody was ON Ecstasy when they made that "Strawberry Ecstasy Cake"!

And Happy Anivery! May you blessed with many more!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie E.

Flight of the Concords sang that whole post to me (in my head). OOOooooh yeah baby!

Hoppy Loove Day Anivery U2.
Clearly, keeping a sense of humor makes for a lasting marriage. Conmgralulations!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

Happy Anivery! I'm not just copying everybody, I really mean it!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGretchen

A big cookie makes any occasion special, I don't care what's written on it. Mmmm...big cookie.
(My anniversary is on Jen's birthday, if you're ever in Illinois on May 12th, we can all split a big cookie.) ;)

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

Congradulululutions on your thirteenst anivery! yew too are quite the pear, so may you have many, many more!

PS I'd say that such a public declaration of love qualifies as a card. So you did get her something :)

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

I feel all hot and bothered over here, and I don't even know you. I can't imagine how Jen can contain herself with those words coming out of that mouth and onto that computer..

Whew, sorry about that.

Happy anniversary!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

Is the baboon cake that cream-pottery technique that we saw the other day?

Happy anniversary, you guys!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan

What a co-inkie-dink! My 14th wedding anniversary is tomorrow! And I didn't get my hubby anything either!! Happy Anniversary you guys!!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

Love that Smiley Heart. Congrads, youse guyz.

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Dash

My 15th anniversary is coming up next month. I think I will get my husband a version of that last cookie. Because I love those great big cookie's, yum. And I'm expecting a giant metal chicken from him. It's a milestone after all.

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

haha! love the cookie cake! and your commentary after.

but WTH is the cake above it? is that a cow in heat with a chafed bum in a pool of green goo and a forest of giant lilies and prickly pinecones????

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjojo

Happy Love Day to you both, and Congradashuns! My own spouse and I recently passed the 15-year mark, so I know how bewildering it is to discover that it really HAS been that long...are you sure?!? (And we forget all the time, too--that and Valentine's Day--write 'em on the calendar in big red letters!)

And Jen needs to get you a present, too! You're one of the good ones!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Happy Anniversary, Jen and John!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJim Todd

Ha Tricia!

I totally heard Flight of the Conchords in that too!!

Happy anivery tho. Here's to many more!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusi

13th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Lace
Modern Gifts: Textiles or Furs

Now, as to what one gets for a 13th Anivery... That I don't know, but happy one anyway!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Happy Anivery to you both.

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.

Oh my gosh. I totally heard this in the voice of Jemaine from Flight of the Concords a la "Business Time." Good stuff.

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKati

Funny, I heard it in "Barry White", and was about to congratulate John on his efforts.

(as well as 13 wonderful years - congrats to both of you!!)

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSylph

I'm glad I'm not the only one who heard Flight of the Conchords.

A-shicka shicka, a-shicka shicka, a-shicka shick-ow-ow-ow-ow-wow!

Happy love day, Jen and John!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMay

John, did you write the whole thing in a Barry White voice? Because that's how I'm reading it. (Way better that way, I think)

Also: The flower cake (?) looks oh-so-much like a science experiment gone awry... As in, Hide the children! It's alive!

Happy anniversary - hope it's a sweet day! :)

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

Happy anniversary!

Someday I hope to find a man who will shower me with duck faces and lumpen violet cupcakes; though if he makes us a heart-shaped Love Day cookie-cake, I hope he remembers to take it out of the silicone baking pan before decorating it.

Cake #5 is what happens when you cross Saturday's post with a Smoking Lamb cake.

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

I think the thingie-bop on cake 5 is a Saytar (man/goat that I can't spell) see,it has horns..
Happy Anavar

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpeg

Congratulations! Happy anniversary John and Jen! Giving her pictures of disgusting looking cakes sure beats giving her the actual cakes....

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarie-Eve Lohman

Aww. Happy "13th" Anivery to you both! What a romantic, I bet you doing this post for her was better than any traditional 13th year present could ever be (whatever that is?). Don't forget to get her some daisies though. ;)
Have a great day you two!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngieN24

LOL! Great post! Happy Anniverrsery.... um Aniverserary.... ah Anni..... oh heck - have a nice day!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

This post reminds me of the song Idiot Boyfriend by Jimmy Fallon. In my head, he was singing all of the text. It worked perfectly.

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAli

Happy Anivery, from one set of Jon and Jen to another set of John and Jen. (Even tho my hubby has no idea who you are, I'm sure he'd want to be included. Yeah.)
Oh, and I totally heard Barry White, too. Maybe he will protect me from that weird reclining baboon thing, which will haunt my dreams for many many moons. Someone bring me an old priest and a young priest, quick!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

Just for John and Jen. Because we all love you (and that wasn't meant as stalkerish as it sounded), Happy Anniversary.

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHH

Whoa, duck face, eyebrow waggle, AND a sexy cow cake? Look out, Jen, that sounds like a recipe for Magic Time!

(I agree with everyone who heard Jemaine singing this, too.)

Happy Anniversary!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanellionaire

When I first tried to decipher "Happy Love Day", I thought maybe it was a very messy "Happy XOXO Day".

Happy Anivery, you two!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Happy Anniversary to you both! And have fun in Atlanta this weekend. I've charged all my geeky friends to go forth and find you!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Awww, John you big romantic! Hilarious as always. But the "Strawberry Ecstasy" cake made me physically cringe. I don't know if I will ever be able to eat chocolate covered strawberries again o.O

Happy Anniversary Jen and John, and here's to many more for you!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina

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