My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

It's Not Creepy If You're Married

John, sweetie, I just want you to know that I think you are all the way beautiful. Not just handsome, but smart, and kind-hearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you...


And maybe we'd have a couple of chubby, freckle-faced kids:

And we'd laugh ALL DAY LONG.

...and go camping, play Yahtzee, and tell ghost stories by the fire.

And every day, for the rest of your life, you would thank God... that I was the appropriate maturity level for you.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how I felt.

I think you're very special.

And most of all, I wish you love, and I wish you contentment, and I wish you would put some pants on while I'm talking to you.

That's all.

Thanks to Kate B., Judi G., Camille B., Aria P., Reba S., Jennifer L., Adrienne, and Jamie B. for helping me get that out there. And to Jim Carrey for leading the way.

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Reader Comments (76)

Because who doesn't want a baby shower cake that has two icing-covered plastic babies complete with their own trails of poo?

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna B

Love it!
Starting a new meme/ ripped from today's enternainment news trend?

PS- What is that third cake? A personified fireball being hatched from an egg?!

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

OMG the horror... D:

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMINDY1

I'm pretty sure that second cake is going to swallow my soul.

And it's Jim Carrey, so I'm sure he's just trying to be funny, but God that video is creepy.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

I vomited an albino sloth??

Melting beach ball lava pit maltese with a shaved face??

What are you trying to saaaayyyy?????!?!?

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I've heard of an earworm, but I've never heard of an eyeworm before. What?

Muppet sheep CCC!

I'm not sure what the alien buffalo is, but I kind of want one as a pet to scare my neighbor.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

OMG! I feel the *exact same way* about Emma Stone!! Especially after seeing 'Crazy Stupid, Love'. LOVED the first comment on that video.

Happy, happy anniversary you guys!! Here's wishing you more laughs and good times... and creepy* videos for your inspiration.

*Creepy, yet if he's not completely acting, then vulnerable and kind, too.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaren

Are you two looking to adopt? I am 29, fairly capable of cleaning up after myself, and TOTALLY willing to make my two children and two dogs sleep outside. I just want to live in your house and surround myself with your awesomeness.

Think about it.


August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Awww. Eye Heart Ewe. Gross but sweet.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLilly W

The macho-man cake is back!!

What's he got in that bowl?

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary

The alien yak... it will haunt my dreams.

And does anyone else feel like that "Kiss Me" mouth is gonna start singing about the late night double feature picture show?

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

I was wondering the same thing about the contents of that bowl. Please, please, please tell me it's supposed to be whipped cream because, as disturbing as that is, the altnernative is even more disturbing.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzzzzz78759

What did Ken just do to that polar bear?
Happy Annivery, here's to many more..

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Are those REAL babies in that first cake? o.O

And what's in that bowl of white stuff next to the champagne ... no, on second thought, please don't tell me.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary


August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

That's the creepiest rendition of "I love you" I've ever seen -- well done.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I'm a little embarrassed to report that I recognize the dolls on the first cake. They're called "Lots-to-Love" dolls and are sole with the tag line "It's just Baby Fat!"

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCapt_Video


Thank you Lilly. I must still have morning fog because I didn't get the last three cakes. Doh!


August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Oh, I totally didn't understand those last three cakes and why they were there with no commentary until I read the comments!! It never would have occurred to me that the one was supposed to be an EYE. I thought it was creepy critters around a pool or something. "Pool -hearts - lamb" just doesn't work as well as "eye - heart - ewe."

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

That last one is a life-portrait of the mutant sheep from "Black Sheep".

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I like these "medley" type posts; you always show the best worst wrecks in an unexpected context.

How much of each baby doll do you think is in that first cake? Will they have to extract two sticky double-amputee torsos before serving, or will one slip of the knife result in somebody munching on a hollow plastic foot? Who gets to lick the frosting out of Baby's armpit?

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Does the man on the bearskin rug have a bowl of whipped cream all ready for you? Ewwww.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEG

Are any of your ancestors' last name Hitchcock,Serling or King (Stephen not Martin)?
You've inherited their creep DNA!

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermocking

Well, I've always said, nothing says "Christ Has Risen" like a sheep with one big eyeball and one little eyeball.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

My 5 year old son was watching from the couch and commented on that brown yak thing:
"It's a brown monster that looks like throw-up! Oh, no, actually, like kaka."

He's usually not that crass, so it's not typical 5 year old talk, like some kids who find poop in every image. It's really an honor for that cake to be compared to poop and vomit by my child!

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGAMZu

LOL @ Jenny...I did. These cakes need to do a time warp...O.o

I don't understand why there is a bottle of bubbily (with no glasses) and a BOWL of ANYTHING?!?



August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Aw, this post makes me want to put my kids in a basket of frosting (cuz they so sweet!), get a demonic buffalo, bust out the red lipstick and oreos, and throw my bearskin rugraft out on the pool. But it's Tuesday, and I usually do all that on Saturday, so it'll hafta wait. On a side note, how long do you think it took him to fill up that bowl?

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanellionaire

Ok, I don't feel quite so "special" today at not getting the last 3 cakes' meanings....Just not on my A game today folks. :(

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Are the last 3 cakes supposed to be posted to a different day?

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMercedes Me

How did a Halloween cake and an Easter cake get in there?

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Is that orange thing supposed to be a heart?

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJess

I think my mother has the mold to that last cake, but what on earth did they do to the poor lamb? It's supposed to be cute, not suffer from mange!

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

A lovely group of cakes, as usual!

My favorite is definitely the one with the mostly naked doll on top. Why does it look like he's lying on a bearskin rug in a pool??? That is one creepy cake...


August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSue Jackson

I get the last three. But what is representing the heart? That's just...I'm at a loss for words.

I'm picking up a faint hit of cinnamon rolls underneath, but what is it for? Halloween? Valentine's Day? Zombie apocalypse?

That has to be the worst use of orange-colored frosting ever.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRay

By God that wormy eyeball is almost as creepy as the original video... o.O

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

the thing with the eye and the worms.... there is actually a parasitic worm that can live in the eye... gross

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdenisw

The last thre cakes are "I Love You (ewe)"!!! Yeah I figured it out!!!!

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelley

ROFLOL! I was wondering when we'd get the Jim Carey spoof post. I'm glad we didn't have to wait long, and that it far exceeded my expectations! YAH!

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

I, too, want to know what's in Macho Man's bowl!! :P

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

From this point on keep Jen and John away from ANY AXES!

If the first cakes starts saying "Come play with us" I'm out of here!

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

I agree with Ray.....worse use of Orange frosting ever. NASTY CCC!!!!

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

I zoomed in on the errant Macho Man cake to confirm that the "bowl of cream" is in fact a giant champagne glass (notice the stem, never mind that it's big enough to hold the entire bottle). That was when I discovered that he is wearing lipstick the same color as his jockey shorts. Not a deal-breaker by itself, but then I noticed his ridiculously tiny hands and the little black eel trying to climb onto the rug. It's like a David Lynch romantic scene, in cake form.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

WOW! Just WOW! I am horrified!

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMommaL

As appropriate for such a special occasion, these are some of the most hideous wrecks you've ever posted. O_o

Add me to the list of people who didn't get the last three cakes at first. My brain was occupied going, "Why, why, why are there worms and spiders on that eye? Ew ew... Why are there hearts on a... WTF is that orange stuff??" I hadn't quite gotten to the play on words before I saw the comments from your quicker readers. ^^

Regarding that terrifying buffalo from Hell, all I can think of is the Kandorian demon moose from Evil Dead. I pray the decorator did that on purpose.

In John's defense, of course he's not wearing pants. If he even moves a bit on that rug, he's going to fall into the pool, and you don't want to be wearing clothes when that happens.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEve

I hope they disinfected those stuffed ducks on the first cake. They look like they were pulled from some poor kid's toybox.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrasstax

Aww! That lamb (?) on the bottom- that makes me sad... and kinda makes me laugh. I'm just confused now.

Poor little lamb. Looks like a Star Wars reject.

(love the Jim Carrey reference but seriously, his video made me uncomfortable!)

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

So is it wrong that I'm not only NOT horrified by the eyeball cake but I'm actually thinking about making one like it for Halloween, now that I've seen it?

Fortunately, I'm only a home baker, who really only does cakes for the kids' birthdays, so I get a free pass on wrecking, since it isn't like I actually know what I'm doing. :)

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

@Jenny--that is EXACTLY what I was thinking about that mouth.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbuffy

I believe that third cake is Ms. Potato Head dressed for Halloween!

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa P.


August 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermike

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