My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

It's Not Creepy If You're Married

John, sweetie, I just want you to know that I think you are all the way beautiful. Not just handsome, but smart, and kind-hearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you...


And maybe we'd have a couple of chubby, freckle-faced kids:

And we'd laugh ALL DAY LONG.

...and go camping, play Yahtzee, and tell ghost stories by the fire.

And every day, for the rest of your life, you would thank God... that I was the appropriate maturity level for you.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how I felt.

I think you're very special.

And most of all, I wish you love, and I wish you contentment, and I wish you would put some pants on while I'm talking to you.

That's all.

Thanks to Kate B., Judi G., Camille B., Aria P., Reba S., Jennifer L., Adrienne, and Jamie B. for helping me get that out there. And to Jim Carrey for leading the way.

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Reader Comments (76)

So did the order actually SAY, "I want Sulu in his skivvies, laying on a bear skin rug, floating in a leaking swimming pool, accompanied by a bottle of champagne and a bowl of mayonnaise?"

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMamachino

Didn't get that there was a code until I saw your tweet. I'm sure he loves you too!

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPhoenixk26

It took me two entire minutes to realise that #1 was supposed to be two babies chillin' in a basket/crib/melting pot, as opposed to two babies bursting forth from the bowels of an unusually-large cupcake. (I am actually rather disturbed that I even considered that second option plausible. See what you've done to me, Wreckerators?)

I believe I'll be seeing Mr. Buffaloid Monster again sometime tonight, in my nightmares. (shudder)

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMr Frog

That weird orange mash of something that looks like it would be home in a diaper is a heart? I will be having nightmares for weeks.

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAli

With that spider on the eyeball cake....full body shiver. Ew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

August 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Aah! My 8 year old has had the two dolls on the first cake since she was a baby and they still go to bed with her every night. I don't think I will be able to look at them the same way again!

August 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristina Down Under

Haha, this post totally rocks! And if I'm forced to weigh in on whether I think Jim Carrey was joking or not, I'd have to say that there's at least a bit of sincerity behind it, if he wasn't being completely serious. Either way, I'm creeped out.

August 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

So the first cake made me think, "... a couple of freckle faced kids. With tails."

And the last 3 looked so random that until I read the comments I was wondering, " Eye with worms, stomach worms, and an Easter sheep? What does it all mean!?!?!?!?!!!

I heart my fellow wreckie henchmen (henchpeople?) because I can count on them to explain, exclaim, and make me laugh till I wheeze.

August 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterteabunny

The "smile" cake reminds me of Monty Python's dancing teeth animation. If I wasn't technologically challenged I'd post a video.

August 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlice Shortcake

Awwww. How sweet. I'm sure John says, "Eye Love Ewe!" too! :)

I love the last 3 pics!!!! Eye Heart Ewe! Soooooo cute! Even if it was formed out of three not sooo cute cakes! I love this sight it makes me feeeeel goooood!

August 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSupastara

Best comment award goes to Janellionaire! It must've taken quite a while. No wonder he's lying down. Poor little fella's exhausted!

August 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJillie B

Dangit! I was beat! I know that first cake... but thank God i wasnt served it!

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMistyK

Just yesterday I happened upon the fat baby on the left on another website. John Beinart's Toddlerpede sculptures make you worry what's inside that cake!

September 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarnar

What Video? Where is Jim Carey? Im confused!

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Hey Macho-Man, Is that whipped cream in the bowl or were you just happy thinking of me?

October 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSteve

OMG, I haven't laughed like this in awhile! That lamb at the end! Poor thing, it's been massacred!!! I hope the people who made these know how disastrous they look!!!

October 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

Actually, the eye-worm cake is accurate. Look up "African eye worm" or "Loa Loa". But only if you have a strong stomach. Which you must, if you read this blog.

October 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa B

I am deeply affected by that sad lamb. I remembered it from several days ago and I just spent an hour searching for it since I did not remember topic of the post. I am so glad I found it again, now I can get on with my day. My abs are sore and eyes wet from laughing till it hurts so it was not a wasted hour. And now I can visit my lamb whenever I want to.

October 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I'm ashamed to say that I did in fact make that hideous "Eyeball" cake. It was done exactly to recipe (Thank you Target Corp. Head Cake Decorator). I'm really not a horrible cake decorator, I promise! :P

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarisa's Cakes

The man on the bearskin rug is actually a kit. I was cleaning out the kit cards at work last year and came across this among some other extremely disturbing ones.

January 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBlackbird Skye

Was just looking at this post with my 6 year old, when we got to the last photo she said..."it looks like a real dog stuck in a cake!!!." LOL

January 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSally

The second one nearly made me scream

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

Regarding the I believe this is meant to be a reminder of global warming. He is laying on a polar bear in the Arctic Ocean because the glaciers are shrinking. All that's left is what's in his bowl!

January 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPmar

Aw, such a SWEET post! I love how you said "I love you" at the end with the symbolic piles of frosting pictures.

January 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobbi/Sugarrrsmack

"Kiss me!" demanded
the front left tooth. "But kiss me
first!" cried the right tooth.

October 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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