My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

National *yawn* Golf Month

Contrary to popular belief, golf is not a complete waste of time. Many people, for example, use golf as a means to rid themselves of cumbersome money. Other, more talented players, actually use it as a means to rid themselves of cumbersome marriages.

"Just getting the Tiger's eye view, dear!"

Still, whatever your reasons, golf can be an "entertaining," "exciting," and "fun" "sport."

So let's look at some golf cakes, shall we?

Now, the object of golf is to hit a tiny ball... a large pile of crap. This is known as the "drop shot."

Next, assuming that you manage to hit the ball, you may end up on "the green."

So lush.

Now, golf courses come in all shapes and sizes, which allows for a wide range of difficulty, scenery, and funny faces:

"The good news is you've got a nice straight shot.

"The bad news is that ball is to scale."

Which reminds me: would you believe the term "lead foot" originated in golf?

If so, then let me tell you the one about the goofy cake blogger who knew obscure factoids about sports.

Every golfer worth his pom-pom hat/argyle knee-socks/plaid bloomers knows the importance of a great golf bag:

Which is apparently what this is.

In fact, this style of bag is known as the "Schweitzer Bag," named after the famous German golfer, Albert Bag.

And finally, let's go over some essential golf terminology:

Fore = what you yell before you whack someone with a golf ball.

For = how you indicate who gets the ugly golf cake.

"Four" = *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

Golf claps all 'round to wreckporters Brandi T., Lauren F., Sam, Zakes C., K Eva., Stephanie, and Amelia B.

« We Moved! | Main | Available Exclusively at the Geiger Counter! »

Reader Comments (75)

I had to post. If I hadn't known already, I would have known you were a Disneyphile after the golf bag joke. I love it!

That joke is my favorite part ever of the Jungle Boat Cruise. So few people know what the guide is talking about.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpipperroo

No matter which event the cake was designed to celebrate most cakes are sending subliminal messages of poop and unmentionable body parts.


August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pink Drink Ladies

I see Princess Leia on Tatooine on the second cake. Anyone else?

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPerkinsClan

I'm a new follower (of about a week) and I just wanted to let you know how much I look forward to your posts. It's great to start the day with a little humor. One question...where on earth do you find/get all these cake pictures?

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTami B.

"Tiger's-eye view."
Yes, indeed.

I believe that third cake must commemorate the anniversary of that time one of the Apollo astronauts hit golf balls on the moon.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Jungle Cruise!!!

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That's what I was thinking at first, PerkinsClan. But after enlarging the picture, I'm now going with Luke Skywalker.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristin aka Trekkie Gal

The third image is a LOVELY re-creation of the golf course on Tatooine. So, go easy on the poor Tatooine-ians; they had to work with that they've got.

Otherwise - spot on!

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Thanks to Gary for repeating the Tiger joke! I apparently needed to hear it a second time before I could fully appreciate the intended meaning. So as I came in here to post how *hilarious* this entire post was, I now find myself laughing out loud again about poor Mr. Woods. Awesome.

Also, there couldn't have been a funnier way to introduce the post than the "excess money, excess marriage" bit. Cheers!

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Yay! Jungle cruise reference!! That just totally made my day - thank you! :)

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

I'm not sure which disturbs me more about the first cake: the fact that it says "Happy Birthday Dad" (did his kids *really* get him a cake with, ahem, this design?) or the placement of the flag (OUCH!!!!)...

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

When I went on the jungle cruise, I was the only person on the boat who laughed at that joke. The guide pointed that husband inched away... :)

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I tried to give the baker the benefit of the doubt. Two mounds covered half by grass and then leading to a sand trap. but pink trim and a bow? now they're just messing with us. And just WHAT are those kids trying to say to their dad with said subliminal message golf cake?

#2--why is #2 so lumpy and shiny? (oh wait, it's number 2.) *shudder*

#3--are we sure this is a golf cake? and not like a Star Wars cake (is that Princess Lei in a desert? *squints* I can't tell) maybe it's a beach party cake and those are sand dunes with tiki torches. or lampposts. or whatever the %$^& those fuzzy things on sticks are (why is only one red?)

#4--LOL funny faces! reminds me of the surrealist cr-stuff i've been showing my kids lately. and that ball is a little FLAT. makes me want to put a brown m&m in the middle and make it a googly eye.

#5--Is that golf ball screaming??

#6--I don't know that golf bag reminds me of but it makes me wonder--is it customary to carry strawberries around on the course with your balls? and that bottom pocket is bulging. Did they even bother to put icing on that chocolate cake? looks like they just slapped on some fondant and real golf balls. and strawberries. can't forget the strawberries.

#7-That giant golf ball looks like the moon to me. And now I'm thinking of Gru trying to steal the moon in Despicable Me. (ooh, it's a cupcake cake, too! weird... at least they made the icing a circle)

and you know SOMEONE is going to say it today--it also looks like "Epcot"!

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Did you look closely at the "shaft" of the golf club on #5 (lead foot, screaming golf ball)? If so, I admire your...control at "stiff"

Nevermind. I express my appreciation with a respectful and subdued [golfclap].

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Wouldn't Tiger's Eye view be a bit...lower...on the anatomy? Just asking,not judging.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

OMG that first cake would have been perfect for Tiger"s divorceparty XD XD

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Golfers don't wear bloomers, they wear knickers--short for knickerbockers.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


I, too, could only think of Star Wars scenery. Glad I have company. ;-)

And the "rid themselves of cumbersome marriages" line had be almost in tears with laughing so hard. Thank you, Cake Wrecks!

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna

There are golf balls IN that cake...not placed on top like ever-so-popular flotsam that can be easily removed prior to slicing but actually IN the cake...and, for some reason, with strawberries! Gah! What the heck??

(Yes, I know that it's fondant on top, they weren't baked in the batter...but, still--close enough!)

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

Jo said:
"... is that Princess Lei in a desert?"

No, obviously, it's Princess Leia in a dessert.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

WV: riesse. Rielle Hunter's sister?

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Excuse me, but your gold bag is BLEEDING!

(and I totally agree with Trekkie Gal... the up close view clearly shows Luke)

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

That first cake cracks me up. Two great things that go... great? together.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertamara

I sent this one to my husband - the avid golfer


August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love how the golf ball in the lead foot cake is all Mr. Bill... "ohhhh, nooooo".

We lived across the street from a large field with cows when I was a kid. My dad was a golfer. Who liked to practice in the front yard... 10ยข per retrieved golf ball, a quarter if they had cow poo on them. I'm not ashamed to admit to dropping a few golf balls in cow patties.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDharmamama

You managed to put a Jungle Cruise joke in a post about poorly executed golf cakes.

*Stands and applauds*

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

I agree with others. I think that third cake is Tatooine, not anything to do with golfing.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yes, I not only saw Tatooine in this post but Epcot, too! ;D

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@PerkinsClan - I saw the same thing.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Hurray for carefully embedded Disneyland jokes! Now I'm going to be on the lookout for hidden mickeys...

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTom

Look, everyone - it's the backside of Golf Bag!

(wait, I've got more - Aww, see that nice lion? He's guarding the sleeping zebra!)

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

#1 The left one looks a bit, um, er, deflated.

#2 I was wondering what happened to the 'cookie' that robot made.

#3 A course that is in reality one giant sand trap. Now that's evil.

#4 The wreckerators are getting wise to us -- luring us into their CCCs with humor and stuff. Resist! Resist!

#5 There are signs of skill in the grass and they didn't screw up the message. There might be enough points in those things to overcome the cookie. But only just.

#6 Those appear to be ping pong balls (which are much more food-safe than golf balls). Partially covered in fondant. Mmmm. What's with the flower petals?

#7 Dad has four kids and is an avid...collector of things that vaguely resemble Spaceship Earth. That explains the 'four' reference. But there is a serious problem with this one; c-c-c if you can spot it.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Oh, I mistook that black flag and hole for a music note.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

A golf dunce would like to know if any of your post is true-


August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Let me just slip this comfy pillow in between your thumping head and the desk. There we go. Bang away, just don't give yourself any more dain bramage than already occurs from looking at these cakes.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

Lead foot? Looks more like...uh...

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTeri

First cake: I was so fixated on the dog vomit masquerading as a teensy sand trap, I didn't even notice the shape of the cake at first. And it's a father's day cake.
"Mom, we've gotten Dad a golf cake every Father's Day for the past thirty years. I'm sure he's bored with it by now. What else does he like, besides golf?"

wv: arialli - Fortunately they stopped short of adding little green arialli to the top of each "hill."

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

* Oops, no, it's a birthday cake. That sandtrap is still throwing me off!

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Love, love, love the Jungle Cruise reference! Your commentary always cracks me up!

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Oooh there are some horrors here! Makes me feel so much better about my cake decorating attempts!

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChinwagger

Funny cakes!

I actually wanted to comment, though, because those quotes around "Four" reminded me about a story I was going to tell you. A lady at my job is retiring today and my department got a card for her. The gal who gave the card to her on our behalf wrote on the envelope:


I just had to shake my head and smile.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

Not one comment about the first cake having Great Tracks of Land! I'm disappointed In everyone here including Jen!

VW: glyhem

Sounds like a Harry Potter house.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

#5... seriously?! Why is there always a cake on these posts that looks like a peen!!! WHYYY?!

And that golf ball looks like it has a little tongue... gross, I need to stop now...

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Hmmm...cake #5...not much of a shaft there...must be one of those "fun size" ones from the other day....

wv-scrocal: jokes about golf balls are often referred to as scrocal humor....

@Sharyn and Barbara Anne: you're too funny

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Oh. So. Phallic. You know which one.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGoosegirl

The third one is definitely Luke on Tatooine. However, that doesn't redeem it from the fact that it also highly resembles a box of kitty litter.

WV:Ounica. Just because your golf cake design is ounica doesn't make it tasteful.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterQing Guang

That 5th one does not look like a golf

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

whack-a-ball jokes *sigh*.

From the greens of Pebble Beach to the sands of Tattoine ...

Oh, heck, I'll let someone more creative finish that if they want. Gotta get back to work.

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

*tips hat for Jungle Cruise shoutout*

*waits for ear-wiggling hippopotamus and hibiscus jokes to appear in a future entry*

WV: trecars - my eyes flowed trecars when reading this post

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzarchasmpgmr


I thought EXACTLY the same thing - I am so glad I'm not the only one with a filthy mind :P :)

August 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKingfisherBlue

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>