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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Sep222011

The "Wonders" (of) Punctuation... 

National Punctuation Day is this Saturday, so allow me to present a mini educational series on the "wonders" of punctuation.

[Cue the cheesy music!]

 

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

 

Now remember, boys and girls: Punctuation can be a scary thing, but skipping it all together is never the answer.

Unless you want to command everyone to love their "senoirs."

 

On the other hand, filling your cake with the wrong punctuation isn't the answer, either.

Ah, a classic case of WTH: "Where's the H?"

 

Fortunately, punctuation allows us to add an appropriate level of enthusiasm to our greetings:

Pass the tissues. I think Linda is having a moment.

 

...not to mention convey our "sincerity":

And we mean that, Elizabeth. Like, soooo much.

(Btw, bonus points for the random asterisk. I assume the footnote came on a cupcake? That said, "Not really"?)

 

Of course, it is possible to go overboard from time to time:

Not to mention that pesky "you're" business.

Yep. Pesky.

 

And will someone please explain this?

Parentheses? Really? Look, bakers, I'm pretty sure no one has ever - EVER - ordered parentheses on a cake, so why would you even consider...

Ok, so ONE person ordered parentheses on a cake.

That just means you're both wrong.

"Congratulations."

 

Thanks to Andrea M., Anne G., Anna S., Linda J., Margaret J., Lisa, Kayla H., Debb D., & Bunny B., who I hear enjoy cooking their dogs and their families. So let's eat guys!

« Less Than Punctilious | Main | Stop. Helping. »

Reader Comments (93)

LOL over the parentheses! And what the hell was that, anyway? A half moon cake?

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWombat Central

@Kim I was about to ask if that last cake could be a reference to that country song. XD But that's probably too optimistic.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAriaDream

As an English person, I would just like to point out that the English punctuation is always technically right. ALWAYS. Even if it looks funny.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPolly

Thank you for today's post! I <3 Cake Wrecks, and it's only because I, too, am a grammar and punctuation nut that I noticed that after cake #1 you typed "all together" instead of "altogether." Have a great day and keep bringing us those fearsome wrecks!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaralyn

This morning I was reduced to a fetal position in the corner, rocking back and forth, by an established (I think) journalist (or not) who not only flunked the its/it's test, but flunked it spectacularly, writing "its' share of..."

Then I came here and saw these cakes.

You'll find me back in that corner, rocking and mumbling to myself. Don't worry, I'm no threat to anyone. Except possibly these Wreckerators.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJules

@Classic Steve

Bang your dead!

Bahahahahahahahahahaha...

Hahahahahahahahahaha

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Elizabeths cake looks like cardboard

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternoodle

The first cake with its "AWSOME" seemed so sure of itself that I actually looked up the spelling to make sure I wasn't wrong. All caps can do that. I'm thinking that is the reason for the capital J in Elijah. The decorator may not not known how to spell "you're", but he/she sure knew there was a J in Elijah and just wanted everyone to know. And I do love my se-noirs, film noir too.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

After spending much of the day proofreading and editing, this post was particularly hilarious to me. I am so glad you cleared up that pesky your, you're your'er thing for me. Back to editing. Thanks for the laugh.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertabitha

My personal theory on the first cake:

The person placing the order wanted the cake to say "Accountants Are Awesome". After getting "Accountants Are..." out of their mouth, they realized that they might end up with a cake that said "Accountants R Awesome" instead, breaking up the triple A pattern, so they spelled out the word "A - R - E" - to which the wreckerator heard "Accountants R - A - R - E Awesome". The bonus punctuation, who knows?

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCybrczch

Maybe the parenthesis are for "hugs". You know how you put (Accountants with Rare) meaning to hug the Accountants with Rare? But usually you put more than one set like this: ((((Accountants with Rare))))*
*Rare is a disease that is cause by boredom and tedium. The only known cure is Cake Wrecks!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristina

I'll bet Parentheses is really a very nice small town, since they had a cake made to express their feelings, although the population can be a bit unbalanced at times.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjohn

You might already know, this but... Dr. Seuss on( FB )posted a link to your' Dr. Seuss Sweets in ! ,honor of the publishing of a new Seuss's book!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBooAnn

Mel, that is magnificent! Bravo! (Or brava, as the case may be.)

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTXRed

I dunno...the writing on the last one looks suspiciously like the writing on the "cake that started it all". Could it be a deliberate attempt to get on the blog?

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMiao

Did I see a flying carrot a la mohawk-baby-carrot-jockey mascot fly across the banner ad for Country Crock? A fork and butter knife as wings? Wine slushees are a bit strong today. Or do I really, really want a mohawk-baby-carrot-jockey necklace and am now hallucinating?

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

As an elementary school teacher, I find so many of the grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors a total hoot!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChacho

i just wanted to thank you for always cheering me up by looking at your site.
you're like the mother teresa of the internet. with all the sad news it's so nice to know there is someone there ready to make people smile.
cheers mate!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersprinkles

...and the Country Crock ad running across the top of your page just had a kid flying in a carrot. Thought you might like to know.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKae

Maybe the person who ordered Debb's cake wanted to give her a hug with those parentheses.

((Debb))

Although then they're missing a set. ;)

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPam

Hailey!
Your 5!

...and MY frosting roses!!! ALL mine!!!
MINE MINE MINE!!!
Mwaha haha ha!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDianeOJ

Great, now I'm going to be singing, "I love you period" all night.

*I want to hold you in parentheses*

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

So, I decorate cakes and a lot makes me laugh... mostly when 15 to 17 year old kids take an order and the 20 something or older decorator writes exactly what the kid writes... I have had orders that tell me to write things like the following:
"Happy Birthday" "Claire" Now, do I write the quotations... NO!!
We also makes our kids write sp to verify they spelled the name back... does this mean I trust it when when the name looks funny... NO!!
I have also had clerks that write HB (Tom), I don't know where the parentheses come from... but they certainly do not transfer onto the cake!

One more- I did have a man come in that asked us to write Happy Birthday MiL to stand for mother-in-law... this just made me laugh.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJacque

Punctuation can be a scary thing, but skipping it all together is never the answer.

Shouldn't that be "altogether"? Or is skipping punctuation a group activity? :)

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Well, technically the 5 does belong to Hailey, since it's her age, so....maybe (in an alternate parallel but grammatically ignorant universe and after drinking a few appletinis) the "your" is correctly used in this case.

love the asterisk with footnote on cupcake!!!

I think EliJah did the lettering on his own cake. The best part of that cake is the extreeeemely relaxed snowman - he looks like he's about to sink into the cake ("visualize yourself becoming one with the cake. Don't just enjoy the frosting, BE the frosting.")

The best, and possible new classic wreck, is "we will miss you in parentheses" - i have a mental picture of someone trying to wear parentheses. Or possibly parentheses is the name of the small, backward town where the cake recipient lives, you know, Parentheses, Idaho?

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFlower Girl

A family member recently sent out their wedding invitations (only about three weeks before the event), and they say "The Smith's and the Cook's invite you" (names changed to protect the guilty). I have had to bite my tongue because it's so horrible!!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBleep Bleep Bloop

@Jackson:

I before E
except after C
and when sounding like A
(as in NEIGHBORS
and WEIGH);
also WEIRD
(which is weird).

*insert smiley face here*


As for that first cake, I'm still trying to figure out just exactly what "rare" and "awsome" (sic) item is not only owned by this accountant, but also celebrated with cake. Seriously, there is a HUGE space on the bottom of that cake; surely it was meant to be filled with the name of this wondrous thing which this particular accountant is so fortunate to own!


Now I wish that I owned something rare and marvelous so that I could celebrate it with cake too . . .

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIkwig

Perhaps the person who wrote "Punctuation can be a scary thing, but skipping it all together is never the answer" needs a refresher course in grammar and usage < http://public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/altogether.html > …or perhaps we can all go skipping together.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGemini Audax

My birthday is on Saturday. Luckily, my mom is a baker and makes all of our cakes, so there can't be to many mix ups.. Right??

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKayla

I think the last cake is the baker punishing the client for such an idiotic request; the writing is so nicely placed and written-it must be an undercover wrecker!!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDragon Rose

@ msyendor: I love PDQ Bach too! How 'bout:
"It's 10 am and guests are coming to the door
It's 10 am and Uncle John's already on the floor
Fa la la la fa la la la"....

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergatorgirl

My 60 yo sister, who taught school for over 35 years, has seen all of the above errors, with the exception of your'er. That is definetly a new one. It even looks as if someone already made a correction.

Elsa - here's the link to Victor Borge's phonetic punctuation

September 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjeliecam

Lol I just got back from vacation and I get these lovely wrecks. Ahhh I hope they never stop wrecking cakes just so I can laugh hysterically and scare the neighbors.

September 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I've been sitting here, staring at the last cake, trying to figure out why the person who ordered it wanted it to read:

(We Will Miss You)

And I'm wondering: the accountant's rare, awsome what?

But most of all, I'm thinking that it is never a good idea to tell a teacher to love his or her senoirs.

Oh, and @Mel, ditto on what Sharyn said!!*


*in her later post

September 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatiKat

Love the cakes, but the commentary was even better. One of your best yet!

(And I, too, will be humming "I love you, period" for hours now.)

September 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMin

Ah, mel, I think I love you! (but not in a freaky way- no stalkers here, nope!!)

My favorite grammar lesson: “I’m not getting any better, come home” is significantly different from “I’m not getting any, better come home. “

(the second is a better state of being, for the record, as it’s easier to “cure”)

September 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

This is a random fly-by: Jen, what have you done to me? I've just frosted and decorated my second cake. And even though I have yet to do even one frosting rosette or draw any letters that are up to my standards (In other media, I do calligraphy! Go fig!), I want one of those rotating stands and I'm dissatisfied with my starter-kit frosting tips. I'm afraid my life is about to involve a lot of confectioner's sugar and plus-sized clothing.

Love,
Your Dragon*Con Con*Suite Wreckerator,
Priscilla

September 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterscyllacat

Please tell me you have suspended the "must be made by a pro" rule.
These were all made by 1st graders, right?

September 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Well, for that second to last cake, you have to give them one thing: they did actually spell "congratulations" right.

October 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoe

What's that rainbow streak
running down Haiku Joy's face?
Whiteboard marker tears.

November 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Once again I erupt into giggles. There are just no words.

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

Yes, punctuation is very important, like
Let's Eat Grandma, which should be Let's Eat, Grandma, so we're not expected to eat grandma. ;)

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina

Asterisk. So that's what that's called.

October 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTokaiyaBMalfoy

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