My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Getting Ahead

I've been feeling a bit blah this week. Call it the post-holidays slump (I miss my Christmas tree), call it the winter blues (It's SO FREAKING HOT), call it Al - whatever the reason, I'm more inclined to lie on the couch and cruise Etsy or play Mario Kart than any of my usual, marginally more productive activities.

So, as of right now I've decided to hop on the ol' treadmill desk and write something really positive for once. Something life-affirming. Something cheerful. Something to remind myself I've got nothing to complain about.

Right after I show you this:

(Hint: It's NOT a guy on his hands and knees under a sheet.)

Wait for it...waaaiiit for it...

Ahh, there's the screaming.

And, whaddaya know? I feel better already!

Nope, no complaints here!


Thanks to Anony M. for sharing her winning entry in my unofficial "Worst Christmas Gift Ever" contest. You're a cut above the rest, my friend!

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Reader Comments (167)

How did the coach get so lucky??

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenter~Heather W~

Where's the guillotine and the basket?
this is sooo wrong. <throwing eyes up>


January 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermocking

My eyes!!! Oh the pain! ...I will never be the same. And, by the way, this is WAY worse than that pig.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmilyanne

It sounds like you really had to labor at writing this update. At least you came through with the delivery.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElkman

Ack! That's horrific! The concept is appalling and the execution even worse- the "baby" looks about 45 and must be about the size of a toddler (eyes water).
Just curious, interesting Freudian slip there- inspired by football, perhaps?

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

*Note to self: Do NOT show to pregnant sister.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

I'd scream, too, if I were giving birth to a beige Yoda.

Seriously, though, that's horrible. I guess the one saving grace is that the belly is covered.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelleAK

Every day, I look at CakeWrecks, and every day, my 4-year-old says, "I want that cake for my birthday!" It doesn't matter how bad they are, she says it every day.

Until today.

Today, she said, "I don't want that cake for my birthday. It's creepy."

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterUlrike

Not normally a commenter but on this one, my line of thought went something like this...

"What? I don't get it. Okay. Figure it out. There's a head. Ugly head. There's red. Blood? Is is supposed to be a hobbit in a white sheet with a serious injury?

No, that can't be right. Why would anyone want a cake like that?

Okay....not a hobbit. Well, then....


Yeah - that was actually it.

I'm actually in charge of decorating a cake for a baby shower this weekend. You will be glad to know there will be no blood, no infant body parts, no maternal body parts, nothing that would wreak it in any way. I've learned well.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate

This cake is wrong on so many levels. Let's forget for a moment that the baby appears to be full grown (and what baby has such bushy eyebrows?) and that the eyes are open (SUPER CREEPY) and that there's some gratuitous nipple action going on there. This cake makes me think of a poem a friend shared with me some years ago...

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout

Monty Python put it best - "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergrneyes6

Yes. Absolutely, totally creepy.

But... what's with the "Merry Christmas" sign?!?? Yikes.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCam

I'm so concerned. So disturbed. Additionally, this post gives a whole new meaning to the lyric "Why am I soft in the middle now?"

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Welcome to the world, Ralph Malph!

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercc

Am I the only one who sees a resemblence to Alfred E. Neuman?

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

And here I thought it was a cake for a gastroenterologist, showing a middle-aged dude about to get his first colonoscopy.


January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOmegaMom

Mm, quite realistic, the folds in the sheet especially.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSunshine Mary

I had no idea Alfred E. Neuman was a c-section baby ...

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterladycrim

There is a grain of truth to many urban legends. For instance, that one about a genetic engineering experiment involving Yoda and Alfred E. Neuman can now be backed up with pictorial evidence.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

This is the first "cake" *shudder* that literally made me gag, swear, and want to scream! So freaking wrong!! This is even worse then the placenta cake in my opinion. Why would the baby look so grown up? Why doesn't mom have a head? Where are drs? This is like a Saw movie in my head right now, and Saw movies make me literally sick and give me nightmares.
Thanks Jens and John!!

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMisty K

That's Bilbo hiding from the goblins, right? RIGHT?!?

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShanti


January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel O.


Peter Lorre...THANK YOU! I was trying to think who this looked at all morning. I could picture Peter Lorre but couldn't remember his name!

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDNAMom

That's Bilbo hiding from the goblins, right? RIGHT?!?

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShanti

If my baby's head were that big, I'd have a c-section, too. But I would NOT commerate it in cake. Great googley.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

really? REALLY?! ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww...................

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterchar haas

Sharyn - I love your comment! Sums up my feelings exactly (I threw up a little in my mouth). I was going to try to be funny, but after reading Jen's and then your take on this, I shall just bow to the collective comedy masters on this site. (and then use some mouthwash)

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

Ugh. So grody. Reason #517 why I am not giving my mother grandkids. I do not want to put my body through that.

BTW - sometimes I love reading the comments here; fellow readers are totally hilarious.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKSLSRocks

That cake is truly disturbing, but on the plus side, I love the Paul Simon reference!

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia

As a nursing student, the first think I thought of was a man's health exam. In that spirit, I'd like to share this little ditty my class came up with:
Yo man, it’s that time of the year
I said, yo man, get your a-- into gear
I said, yo man this is nothing to fear
There’s no need to be embarrassed

Yo man, go to the doctor, don’t hide
I said yo man, turn your head to the side...

It’s time to get an E-X-A-M
A prostate E-X-A-M
You can get yourself, screened, it’s just a short test, and in the end it’s for the best

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFiona

ok, so am i missing it or is Mom headless?!?!?

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlicia

Hahaha. Obviously the Mom must've had a scheduled C-section. That's awesome/awful.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarrietastic

Alfred E. Newman's birth?

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Why is she giving birth to an old man?!?!?! This cake is so gross.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie L

...were they trying to scare the woman into getting an abortion?

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteroja

You can call me Val . . . ba dum dum-dum, ba dum dum-dum!

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterValC

Yes, yes it is. He's just got a hunchback and nipples on his heels.

Well, okay, and an icky gash right in his sternocleidomastoid muscle.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie D'Arcy

no, this is just wrong...

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkathy

Those aren't nipples their the spurs on his cowboy boots! Yeah that's it! Bwaahahaha!

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristy W.

Um, euw. I had two C-sections and I would NOT want a cake to commemorate the occasion. The two babies I got commemorate it enough for me.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRia

Well it is Friday the 13th here for me.. kind of fitting really..

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPortgirl

What happened to baby shower cakes of old, that had silly things like storks and cradles on them? Now we have live birth via c-section cakes. Just shoot me now.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Who has a middle aged man via C Section?!?!

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChantal

"Merry Christmas!!! We got you....HORROR!!!!"

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeredith

Dear God i think i need to call my therapist for an emergency session.... Or Im gonna have nightmares.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPilgrim

I'll keep my thoughts to myself for safety reasons.

Suffice it to say Christmas is officially cancelled in my house!

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJan R

Even the poor kid on the cake looks a bit nonplussed with the whole situation. lol I thought he had elf ears for half a nanosecond. Then I realized what the red was. *hurk*

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

Oh my. C-section actually is comforting thought. I was really disturbed that the vajajay was sideways. And then I pictured myself asking someone, "which piece would you like: a boob, belly button, or the demon child head?" So. Wrong.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelly C.

Why does the baby have a 5:00 shadow?????

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBJ

It's as if they thought the blanket coving the sliced-tummy/body-parts made it allllll ok...

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

So, why is the mother decapitated?

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

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