My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

What's This? (No, Really.)

You guys, it's not easy following a trauma-inducing marzipan demon pig zombie, but by golly, I'm going to try.


[head tilt]


Perhaps I should mention I have no idea what that's supposed to be. However, if we knew, I bet it'd be super traumatizing. Or funny.


Here, let me try something a little more recognizable:

Now, as you can clearly tell from those carefully placed green and yellow squiggles, what this is is so blatantly obvious you obviously don't need me to tell you what it is. Obviously. Which is why it's in the shop's front display window.


And I'm just getting warmed up!

...said the melting anthropomorphic upside-down ice cream cone wearing a blonde wig.

(See? Told you these were easy.)

Your turn again!

Ahh, all that red and green really brings back the holiday spirit, doesn't it?



Maximum trauma has now been achieved. Thank you, and good night.



1. This is in the display case. Meaning it's NOT a custom order.

2. Are those arms or exploding ear wax?

3. Are those eyelashes or...or...seriously, what are those things?!

4. Why would a frog have blacked-out Miss Piggy eyes?

5. Wait... Sweet Henson, is this supposed to be Kermit & Piggy's love child?!?

6. In that case, what's "Santa" got to do with it?

7. Why?

8. Why?

9. Why?


Thanks and Kermit flails all 'round to Kathy R., Ayla E., Cara M., Ashley A., & Liz W. for adding a colorful new character to my future nightmares.

« The Farce is Strong With This One | Main | This Little Piggy Will Eat Your Soul »

Reader Comments (206)

I had the same thought as others here, and saw "a major award!" in the first one. It has to be the leg lamp from "A Christmas story...broken...and covered in poo.

I can totally see Roz on the last cake, but what she has to do with Christmas, or Santa, I have no idea. I would like to know the thought processes of the wreckerator who made that cake. On second thought, no, I don't. However, I hope that all appropriate paperwork was turned in, and on the correct color of paper.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelindaB

1) I see Bell bottom trousers, worn with a brown sock
2) Artistic blots??
3) The little Hamburger Helper glove gets too close to the stove
4) L'il Cactus sees his first Christmas
5) I think I fought this in the video game Ratchet and Clank... or it's a female California Raisin gone bad.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAllegra

The first cake is a winter hat with a scarf.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

#1 is a chuck key for a drill, obviously. Or a broken mushroom. Or a trapezoid with measles and a hernia.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjohn

1. My first thought is poop lamp. Probably a mortar and pestle photographer upside down but I still say poop lamp.
2. Clearly a birthday cookie for a fan of Lady Cottington's Pressed Fairy Book.
3. Demon clown. But then aren't all clowns demon clowns?
4. Infected cactus. Just look at those pustules!
5. The boss lady from Monster's Inc. with Christmas earrings.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarie

Number three is a Hamburger Helper oven mitt in drag. Can I babysit the Kermie/Piggy love child?

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

well number 3 is deff a scarecrow

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterchonte

the "ice cream cone" cake is actually Michael Jackson's glove "getting happy"

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercarol

1. Is the hat Nana knitted for you this Christmas, with one if the (unfortunately) thumbless matching mittens.

2. See what happen when you don't have the Men In Black Extermination Service Make regular visits to your wreckery?

3. Frosty is actually an amoeba, here shown dividing, being fruitful and multiplying with those ugly little offshoots.

4. Mistletoe, with the poisonous berries randomly distributed over the sprig.

5. That looks suspiciously like the Supervisor of Security from Monsters, Inc.! Except she's had the flu and is a bit green around what passes for the gills....

As everyone else has already stated the first CCC (patooee) is "fra-gee-leh". The second is covering up that squashed palmetto bug and the third is Lady GaGa. The fourth cake: Lady GaGa (hidden inside the intestines of a giant palmetto bug). And the fifth and last cake: Lady GaGa!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

Although incredibly boring...I'm guessing that the first one is a microphone. You know, for all of the American Idol parties....

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina in Seattle

The first one is obviously the offspring of the Leg Lamp and one of the Smurfs' mushroom houses. #2 is a tarantula that got stepped on. #3 is the Goddess of Yellow Snow. 4 is a cactus as seen after too many peyote buttons. And the last one is the Little Piggy's (from yesterday) personal body/anus guard.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHowlin Mad Heather

a.) broken spotted mushroom

b.) squashed fly kwanzaa cookie

c.) snowman/scarecrow hybrid

d.) the traditional christmas cactus

e.) bride of hypnotoad

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWraith

4. Why not Zoidberg? (Admittedly wearing a cone hat and wig, but still...)

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBabyshoes

The last one is, obviously, giving you the hairy eyeball.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

The last one looks like the alien singer from a bar in Star Wars.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

That last one looks like the singer from Star Wars. Can't remember the name. -50 geek points.:-(

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

To be honest, the first thing I thought of when I saw the first one is a partially squished mushroom thing from Super Mario Bros. I will gladly go on with that vision in my head - take that! and that! Oh, look, a coin!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

LOL When scrolling down the page, I always stop to view just the photo of the wreck before scrolling down to read the commentary, and on number 1 - I took one look, did a head tilt, then scrolled down to read (head tilt). LOL Nice.

Thanks for the continued laughs. =)

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

1. At first I thought mushroom, but have to go with the hat & scarf theory being thrown about. Personally, I love the "'Cut here' line from Circumcision for Dummies diagram" idea from Ms. Fowley. Ha!
2. My first guess was that it is a failed attempt to make a fleur-de-lis.
3. I'm going with Jen's hypothesis, 'cuz I got nuthin'.
4. Christmas Cactus!
5. Roz & Santa's love child. Definitely.

Awesome post. The ones that make the commenters guess are such fun!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

Sharyn nailed the first one -- whatever it is, it had to have been inspired by Vogons. And what's worse, is they wreckorator would have had to file her designs in triplicate before even starting to bake.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

LOL - Thank you for a MUCH needed laugh today! I swear, I would buy the Santa Baby just for laughs. (I wonder if the baker knows this, hmm...they may be getting too smart.)

It's scary how many of us think alike - the first thing that I thought of on the first one was A Christmas Story.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterblue 42

I'm so confused. I thought there would be answers at the end. THERE ARE NO ANSWERS!! SO very confused. I don't know whether to cry or laugh or put my 5 year old to work making cakes

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

#1 - Hat and Scarf
#2 - ??
#3 - Scarecrow?
#4 - Christmas Cactus
#5 - Roz from Monsters Inc.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerry

You must never have lived in New Mexico. #4 is obviously a Cylindropuntia fulgida also known as the jumping cholla, a type of Cactus. DUH!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergabsmom

A link to the said jumping cholla.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergabsmom

"Your stunned silence is veerrrry reassuring."

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarcy W.

The green monster santa thing is soooo the grinch (well maybe?) the first could it be an upside down flower pot? Maybe they missed out the 'flowers' part as its covered in mini ones!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarla

1- a puppy
2- a birdhouse
3- scissors
4- easter bunny
5- a Wassa

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

#3: Cthulhu accidentally got chucked in the washer with a couple cups of bleach, and for some reason is dressed in drag.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCoach

I think the first on is OBVIOUSLY a matching hat and scarf set………… ;-)

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Well the next to last one is clearly a Christmas cactus.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRita

The last one looks like Hypnotoad's (from Futurama) girlfriend.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiz H

First one is a hat and scarf (well, that's what it's SUPPOSED to be). The rest? Hah - no idea!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

The first cake has a special meaning to anyone who has been affiliated with the Fort Worth Amputee Cotillion (now in it's 53rd year) commemorating that very first event when Sally Hinson spiked the punch bowl. Well I don't have to tell you, Betty Sue Davenport had one too many glasses, got out there on the dance floor, and shimmied and kicked until her wooden leg flew of and knocked Deacon Bradley's toupee right off his head and into the proud cleavage of Ms. Ethel Woodrow's gown. Between the laughing and the screaming and the gracious attempts at assisting by many a hook handed guest, poor Ethel had to be rushed to the hospital where she received four stitches and a marriage proposal by that nice Doctor Jacob Kovoulier... they say he's some sort of French royalty.
The second is from Jackson Pollock's brief stint as a cake decorator.
Dalek in drag.
Georgia O'Keefe's idea of a christmas tree.
"Satan's" spelled wrong.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbrianwrestler

Wreck 1: A casket in front of the viewers - the white line seperates the family from the friends of the dearly departed.......... duh.
Wreck 2: It's the birthday of the artist formerly known as King (the Prince name and symbol was already taken)....... duh again.
Wreck 3: A portrait of mom nursing her 5 offspring - see the familial resemblance?
Wreck 4: It's a Christmassy frog "raising the roof" ... can we get a woot woot???
Wreck 5: Feliz Navifrog - roadkill.......... i'm at a loss with this one - keep thinking of all of those toads in Australia.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermary-anne

I'll give this a try:

#1 A hat and scarf with a snowflake pattern. Sorry that isn't funny, but I'm guessing that was the baker's intent.
#2 The spiders... uh.... dancing a birthday dance. Yeah, that's it.
#3 The broken New Years resolution clown.
#4 The fart cake. I think that's flatulence depicted in leftover frosting.
#5 The lady that fitted me for my first bra at JC Penney. She had eyeglasses on a chain and smelled of face powder.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermabeno

That last one is definitely Sy Snoodles from Jabba's palace, the lead singer of the Max Rebo band. What she's got to do with Santa is beyond me!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim B

#4 is the "paperwork lady" from Monsters Inc!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

#1: Hat & scarf.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous

I'm going with #2 is a Rorscach Ink Blot Test and #4 is a Christmas cactus, but beyond that I got nothing except my sanity.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Yeah, speaking of the demon marzipan pig, I chose last night to show my class this blog. Open the page, and BAM! Maximum introductory traumatization achieved. Thank you, CW team!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSami

I'm not sure but I'm sensing Tim Burton has been in the kitchen.....

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarb

I think the first cake is supposed to be a bell. It looks like they are ringing it to say, "Crappy New Year!"

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCutelikeabunny

I'll be here in the Epcot bunker with Sy Snootles and Roz until everyone has gone back and read Joanne's post (#38 on page 1). Join us for giant inkblot cookies as we attempt to decipher CCC #1 and cake #4.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Number #5 is clearly Star Wars' Sy Snootles from Return of the Jedi, apparently the baker is a huge fan of her rendition of "Santa Baby"! ;) lol

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngela D.

i think i know what most of them actually are, but this is the interpretation i choose to go with.

1. a dead christmas tree with a broken stump.
2. an ant after it's been stepped on..
3. A hobo clown that's puking from alcohol poisoning
4. Cactus poop
5. and the evil fairy frogmother

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusan k

I must have football on the brain today. I saw the first one as a helmet!!! (GO COTTONBOWL!!!)

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSherri D

The red and green one is OBVIOUSLY up-side down.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathy F

I'm going with the scarf and hat for #1, opuntia cactus (prickly pear/nopales) for #4, and I'm pretty sure Joanna nailed #5 -- it's the Avanti greeting card she links to: a frog with jeweled eyelashes, blue eyelids, and lips. Looks like the baker decided to add the red-and-white arms/earrings/whatevers to make it Christmassy (and maybe avoid a copyright lawsuit.) And that image was sooooo wrong to start with...

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn C

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