My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

What's This? (No, Really.)

You guys, it's not easy following a trauma-inducing marzipan demon pig zombie, but by golly, I'm going to try.


[head tilt]


Perhaps I should mention I have no idea what that's supposed to be. However, if we knew, I bet it'd be super traumatizing. Or funny.


Here, let me try something a little more recognizable:

Now, as you can clearly tell from those carefully placed green and yellow squiggles, what this is is so blatantly obvious you obviously don't need me to tell you what it is. Obviously. Which is why it's in the shop's front display window.


And I'm just getting warmed up!

...said the melting anthropomorphic upside-down ice cream cone wearing a blonde wig.

(See? Told you these were easy.)

Your turn again!

Ahh, all that red and green really brings back the holiday spirit, doesn't it?



Maximum trauma has now been achieved. Thank you, and good night.



1. This is in the display case. Meaning it's NOT a custom order.

2. Are those arms or exploding ear wax?

3. Are those eyelashes or...or...seriously, what are those things?!

4. Why would a frog have blacked-out Miss Piggy eyes?

5. Wait... Sweet Henson, is this supposed to be Kermit & Piggy's love child?!?

6. In that case, what's "Santa" got to do with it?

7. Why?

8. Why?

9. Why?


Thanks and Kermit flails all 'round to Kathy R., Ayla E., Cara M., Ashley A., & Liz W. for adding a colorful new character to my future nightmares.

« The Farce is Strong With This One | Main | This Little Piggy Will Eat Your Soul »

Reader Comments (206)

#2 -Spider Splat

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStella

i'm pretty certain the second one is looking down from above on a dreadlock sporting rastafarian. stir it up indeed.

but i could be wrong as i am still amazed that you could see me look at the first photo and tilt my head to the right while saying out loud, "what the...." (you are good!)

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterhello haha narf

The first one would seem to be Holly Hobbie, mooning.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I squinted and turned my laptop upside down and sideways, and the first one might be a stocking cap and scarf... maybe. Or the poop of a circus elephant that raided the popcorn stand. :-)

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDawnetta

@Michelle, I did the exact same thing - looked at the photo, did a head tilt, then read "Head tilt". Then I thought, "I don't care what this thing is, I want some of that chocolate icing!!!"

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

If i tell you what they are, are you gonna report my answers back to my shrink? And then tomorrow some nice men in white coats show up at my door to take me for a nice little ride?

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPilgrim

The first one definitely says "A Christmas Story" lamp to me (or at least a cupcake mangled attempt at one). The final one reminds me of Roz from "Monsters, Inc" ( But, I do see the singer from Max Rebo as well.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShelley

The first one is a winter hat and gloves.
I agree with Shana about the Rorschach inkblot of doom and with a few people about the winter cactus, the rest of the cakes can go to heck because they are confusing and make my brain hurt and pulsate with ouchy confusion.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercmfrench

My 5-year-old tells me the first one is a hat and a scarf.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia

My best guess on the first one is a baseball bat and glove. The little stars are all over them because they're symbols of all that's great in America. Then again, I haven't taken my meds yet today, so my opinion might change in a few hours.........

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie Pam

I thought the last one was Roz from Monsters, Inc.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna K.

The first one is a mushroom. Isn't it?

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Z

OMG that last one is totally Sy Snootles. It looks just like her. No doubt. The Max Rebo band would be proud.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKia Hewett

pretty sure the first one is a broken dead christmas tree left on the sidewalk with the ornaments and garland still on...

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecki

The last one is TOTALLY the green M&M. Am I the only one to see it??? All it needs is a few minor touch-ups. ;)

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterUnidentifacationized

The third one is a scarecrow.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

I can only guess at #2 and #4...
#2 is a Rorschach ink blot.
#4 is a cactus.
Those are, of course, only guesses...becaus they really don't look like either of those things!
For all the others, I can't even begin to guess.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

That first one is clearly a broken, dead christmas tree, Jen!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I must be reading too much steampunk lit, because all I see for the first one is a ray gun decorated with steam vents...

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPunkyB

I don't see the lamp in #1 - I think it's obviously a baseball bat and glove in the middle of a snowstorm. Obviously.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCyndiMcW

#5 IS the Avanti card! But with dangly Santa earrings!

(#5 is alive! Sorry, had to geek out for a moment.)

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJonB

I am going for....skirt and ?, spider, scarecrow, cactus, and the alien from Monsters Inc....Roz. Who obviously mated with that singer from Star Wars with the big lips.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnn Pryciak

#5, I'm going with a frog version of Mimi from the Drew Carey Show.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather G

Thank you for the "Sweet Henson" commentary...I am having a rough day and that seriously made me smile!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

I think the last one looks like a character from Star Wars -- a singer?

Love the site!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersillywalks

Cake # 1: mortar & pestle
Cake # 2: pass!
Cake # 3: blond witch with melting chin implants
Cake # 4: christmas cactus
Cake # 5: pass again!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIssie

'm not sure about the others, but # 2 is clearly a birthday cookie for a very lucky octopus.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkafkasmom

uhhhh...the red and green one looks like a cactus...or maybe an artistic rendition of snake poo? The rest puzzle and slightly frighten me.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

For some reason, the last one looks like a Vogon to me.....

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCristina Brown

#1 the bottom half of a girl with a poodle skirt.
#2 Obviously the bolivian flag
#3 The wicked snow witch of the north
#4 Christmas cactus
#5 The lead singer in the band in Jaba the Hut's bar in "The Empire Strikes Back"

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren H

That frog cake looks to me like the baker has a wild, wacky sense of humor. I love it!

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarrietastic

MEL!!!! You so rock.
LOL @ JonB for “#5 is alive”

The first one is the bottom half of a zombie cake with moldy spots. Or a lampshade that spontaneously grew part of an arm.

The second is what’s left in your shorts after you see your first zombie.

EEEK! Zombie clown

Four is intestines left on the ground by a full zombie; the intestines then got moldy spots.

Five is what JK Rowling had in mind for Dolores Umbridge. (Gonna have to watch Monsters Inc, I think.)

Do we get an Epcot on the Roz/Christmas cactus/Christmas Story???? Pleaaaaasssssse??

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

To everyone guessing the leg lamp for the first one, I don't think that could possibly be it. It looks too much like a lamp. It is a CCC, after all, and you can never go by shape with those. I might agree with bowl and spoon... it's kind of gingerbread-colored, though.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMucey

I have no idea, but my six-year-old looked over my shoulder as I scrolled down to the last one and announced, "Ew, that's ugly! What is it?" Yep, that's what we're all wondering.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

that last one looks like mrs bighead from rocko's modern life...

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentera girl

1. Absolutely no clue. Perhaps a tree? Hit by a hurricane?
2. Paint Splatter
3. Scare Crow
4. Cactus
5. frog cake updated for winter. They couldn't get rid of the frog, so they made it look like a henchfrog, or perhaps kringus, meting out Santa's justice.

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRauldy

136 comments (so far) -- I don't think that's a non-contest record, but it's up there all the same.

Probably no one will read this far into the list, but here goes...

#1 I see 17 cupcakes and 10 pounds of frosting. I'm of the school that holds that cupcakes exist to make pigging out on appreciating frosting less obvious easier, but I still can't embrace the CCC concept.

#2 is upside down.

#3 Scarecrow.

#4 I have a pretty good idea where to find this cake for a closer look, but I don't think that would help me decipher it. I have to go with the Christmas cactus theory, though I've never seen one of those covered with albino tadpoles. Until now.

#5 Gaah! I wouldn't want to be part of the household that left that out for Santa's snack. He probably had the reindeer fill the stockings.

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

The second I saw the first one I said "LEG LAMP!" Though I have NO idea why, because a) I have never seen the movie from which the (in)famous leg lamp comes, and b) that confectionary disaster bears no resemblance to anything remotely resembling a lamp modeled after the leg of an attractive woman. don't know what this says about me.

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChajiko

I must be the only one with a dirty mind - the first one is a penis with an unkept bush. geez :p

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

the first one, obviously, is the leg lamp from a christmas story!

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwilliamszoo

Cake #2 is clearly 2 octopi mating...Assuming they mate like humans...Do I win my Rorschach cookie now?

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermissfrodo

I read ALL the comments.

I am still unable to see the first as anything other than the obligatory warning sign, missing its circle, yes, but still warning against sticking your head inside the Liberty Bell while it's snowing.
I'll ignore the second one.
The third, well, it's a meta-statement, isn't it? A cookie, decorated with cake frosting, which portrays an ice-cream treat. The decorator isn't sloppy, just philosophical.
Four's meta, too - "Christmas" cactus, indeed! Except - turn it on either side or upside down. It's coming to get you!
Five simply proves that inter-species Muppet babies grew up and took jobs as receptionists, musicians, librarians, teachers, and models.

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMama Mary

Ha! Craig, I read any length of posts under 200 (unless it's a giveaway day and then I don't bother). If it's over 200 I have to like the first 150 or so to continue. ;)

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Well, I can tell you that the first one looks to me like a mushroom, the second is DEFINITELY a rorschach ink blot, and the third is most likely a mop with a face.

After that, you're on your own.

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJacinta

If you flip the first one all of the way around, it looks like a cup of hot chocolate with steam.

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPam

The last one is a portrait of what happens to all of us retail workers who are forced to listen to "Santa Baby" continuously for 8 weeks.

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdh

I was fairly sure the last one was supposed to be Sy Snootles, of Star Wars cantina fame, and of course well known for the song "Lapti Nek" and her long lip stalk (courtesy of wookiepedia). But then I saw the Avanti greeting card, and that explains the weird-as-frak lashes, so I'm leaning towards that. And a bit relieved that I had to look up Sy Snootles for the title of the song.

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLoffemoff

@Barbara Anne -- I should have realized that someone from DOC would have the required stamina / diligence. What about when there's an Epcot underway? [evil grin]

@dh -- No doubt! I burned out on that song just from occasional shopping trips; I can't imagine what it must have been like for a captive audience of employees.

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Yes, I forgot to add--the last one is DEFINITELY Sy Snoodles, the lead singer of the Max Rebo band, famous throughout the galaxy for concerts that rock Tatooine, live from Jabba the Hutt's palace!

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChajiko

1st- an attempt at a circle (which never works with cupcakes anyway) in which the cc were not lined up properly?
2nd- is the green squiggle shooting a green blob at a giant black blob?
3rd- evil witch from hanzel and grettel
4th- seaweed with a christmas border
5ht- crazy frog who wants to kiss. *shudder*

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

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