My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

What's This? (No, Really.)

You guys, it's not easy following a trauma-inducing marzipan demon pig zombie, but by golly, I'm going to try.


[head tilt]


Perhaps I should mention I have no idea what that's supposed to be. However, if we knew, I bet it'd be super traumatizing. Or funny.


Here, let me try something a little more recognizable:

Now, as you can clearly tell from those carefully placed green and yellow squiggles, what this is is so blatantly obvious you obviously don't need me to tell you what it is. Obviously. Which is why it's in the shop's front display window.


And I'm just getting warmed up!

...said the melting anthropomorphic upside-down ice cream cone wearing a blonde wig.

(See? Told you these were easy.)

Your turn again!

Ahh, all that red and green really brings back the holiday spirit, doesn't it?



Maximum trauma has now been achieved. Thank you, and good night.



1. This is in the display case. Meaning it's NOT a custom order.

2. Are those arms or exploding ear wax?

3. Are those eyelashes or...or...seriously, what are those things?!

4. Why would a frog have blacked-out Miss Piggy eyes?

5. Wait... Sweet Henson, is this supposed to be Kermit & Piggy's love child?!?

6. In that case, what's "Santa" got to do with it?

7. Why?

8. Why?

9. Why?


Thanks and Kermit flails all 'round to Kathy R., Ayla E., Cara M., Ashley A., & Liz W. for adding a colorful new character to my future nightmares.

« The Farce is Strong With This One | Main | This Little Piggy Will Eat Your Soul »

Reader Comments (206)

4: I can't believe you all call it a cactus. It is obviously (snark) mistletoe.

No, but really, it is. Google that s***.

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrace

Combined with our first horrifying view of demon piggy anus, this post had my husband literally rolling off of the couch he was laughing so hard. Thanks for the smiles and soon to be nightmares :)

January 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRisa N

The first one might be a dislocated mushroom?

January 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

I think the second one is an attempt at a New Orleans Saints cake (Mardi Gras/ New Orleans colors with a fleur-de-lis in the center).

January 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim

According to my 5 year old they were all very easy to recognize
1/ snowflakes on dirt
2/ paint splatter
3/ the hamberger helper guy with a party hat
4/ underwater cactus
5/ crazy frog

January 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterottawaval

I agree with donkaloosa except I think the first one is a hat and scarf set. Time to walk away from knitting for a while, but that's what I see. Lol

January 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah R.

#1 looks like the bottom half of a girl sitting with her ankles crossed, but with no feet and matching skirt and tights. Don't ask me why someone would ask for that...

January 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Grace

Rosy-lipped batfish
is SANTA'S baby! Gonna
punch out Christmas flirts!

January 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

The last one looks like Roz the dispatcher/receptionist from Monsters Inc..... except for the teeny tiny arms.

January 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMARK T

I'm 90% sure the first one is suppose to be a baseball glove and a bat...

January 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSK

Oh come on.... surely you all can see that the first cake is a duck wearing a lampshade.... seriously.
Or maybe someone wearing bell-bottom pants and really flat clown shoes? XD

January 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrinimum

I feel good about the mortar-and-pestle theory for #1. It's the lead pharmacist's attempt (or a good customer's attempt) to personalize the crew's treat but really just give them a bunch of chocolate icing.

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKittymama

I'm pretty sure the first one was a mushroom, except maybe the stalk bit got mved out of place.

January 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpalindromic

You know, when you look at the melting ice cream thingy upside down, I see a glove man screaming for help because he's stuck in a flaming torch. Is that just me?

January 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJackie

For the last cake- look up Sy Snootles from star wars. Looks a bit like her, yeah?

January 26, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous

My husband says that the first one is an amputee showing some leg. My guess is that #2 is a flower gone horribly awry, #3 is a sickly scarecrow, #4 is definitely meant to be a Christmas cactus, and to me that last one does look kind of like the singer from Return of the Jedi. Just me, or was that really weird--a Muppet trying to be sexy?

January 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAurelas

Not that anyone's gonna read this far, but I think #3 is Brother Power the Geek being shot into space.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlittlefoot

Number one has to be a mushroom!

February 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBaylee and Ben

Man, I really think I know what number two and four are!!! Number two is supposed to be paint splotches (for a creative artsy kid). Number four is a really sad attempt at mistletoe which has green leaves and little white berries.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAllie

The brown thing(s) up top look sort of like a hat & matching scarf, and the bottom "frog" DOES remind me of Roz, but now that is was mentioned I can see Star Wars connections. The others? Not a clue.

February 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKris

I totally started hypo(hyper???...what's the difference???) at that last cake...really random message FOR THAT BLOB WITH EYES/ CREEPY CREATURE!!!!!!!!!!!!

February 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

My take on #1 is some sort of hat and one of those baby headbands, maybe...who knows what was lurkING in the mind of that particular cake baker...

February 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterS Wright

I am pretty sure the first is an attempt at a mushroom

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterO Lee

I'm guessing someone mentioned this, but I can't read all 173 comment... The last one is the singer from the Mos Eisley Cantina in the reworked version of Star Wars. The name is Sy Snootles. Google image search it and you'll see that it is still a really bad rendition even if I'm correct.

March 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterObserverX

OMG, I am laughing so hard I can't breathe. Your captions are the best. This is going to be my new go-to website when I need to take a break from work and lighten up. Thank you! :)

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterme

Oh, come on now. That second one? Obviously, it's a smooshed black bug with the green guts blurping out. Yummy.

March 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHoundmom

The first one is a knitted hat with a headband below.

March 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJBolling

Okay, alot of you are saying the cactus cake is for Christmas, but I believe it is actually a Cinco de Mayo cake. Since the type of cactus drawn (horribly) on the cake is the official cactus of Mexico (it is even on their flag). Plus, the colors for Mexico are red, white, and green, all colors represented on the cake.

On the rest of the cakes, Whoah... I thought MY cake decorating skills sucked. But these make my attempts look professional.

April 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCyn K

the second one is a paint ball splat - it's a paint ball party cake

April 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterL

The first one is a baseball glove and bat with weirdly placed white blobs to make it look more festive!

April 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLacey

The first one is a broken lamp, and my first thought on the last one is that it might be the plant from Little Shop of Horrors.

April 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermelissa

I think the first one is a hat and a very short scarf - think winter type boggan or beanie

May 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMYNX

I really think that the first one is a winter hat with snowflakes on it and a scarf!

May 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGeorgiasas

Hypnotoad says ignore the planetary invasion orders cleverly encoded into human confections. <BRRRRRRRRG> All hail Hypnotoad!

May 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Kelly

I think the first one is a skirt with a headband. Maybe for someone who played tennis?

May 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTwiMom6

The first one is a mushroom! I'd seen it before but couldn't figure it out. But as I was going into the site today, I saw the thumbnail out of the corner of my eye and my brain saw a mushroom. But when you look close, it doesn't look like a mushroom anymore. - I think "mushroom" was the goal of the cake artist though.

May 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

it's a lamp but they ran out of room for the lamp base

last pic is defentily an alien with purple eyes.

(I didn't know aliens had eyelashes!!!!)

May 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAllie

#2 It used to be an octopus there, but as you can see it got scared and took off leaving just the ink stain...

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKrystelle

I really think the first one is a winter hat & scarf set.

June 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNosey Nancy


June 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFrozenc

Number 1 to me looks like a skirt & matching head band. It's very popular to match the childs birthday Cake with their outfit which this looks like!
And number 4 is from Monsters Inc, the front office chick from the factory! Yeah?

June 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

Bakers, bakers, bakers
Where did your brains go?
Oh, don't you leave them
Don't you leave them no more!

June 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeaghan

The second last is so ckearly an attempt at a Christmas tree done by a lazy factoy production line and the pic had been taken upside down..... Who ever heard of a christmas cactus anyway?

June 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBubbles

That would be a hat and scarf i believe... why not... lol

June 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBelle

LMFAO, that last one is gold.

June 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCakenator

In keeping with the muppet theme of the last wreck, I'm gonna go with #3 being a poor rendering of Dr. Teeth dressed up as the Great Cthulu........

July 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnon E. Mouse

I think the first one is supposed to be a baseball mitt and bat.

July 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermandy

#1 It's a HIPPIE'S ANKLE, (and foot) he's wearing brown, star print, flares with matching shoes! #2 The baker just wanted to give it some color! But (s)he ran out of coloured icing and had to use black.
#3 It's some kind of weird rag doll. (see the stitched mouth?).
#4 A CACTUS (duh!). #5... do NOT ask me!

July 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElla, 9

"In the name of all that's holy......." what IS #2?
It is strangely symmetrical.
It has a disconnected black spot over and under.
It has yellow discharge (?) on one side and green on the other.
Two yellow dots on the left.

I did not turn my head--I disconnected my laptop and rotated 45, 90, 180, 270, 360.
There's a representation hiding there,,,,,,,,,,,but WHAT? Tell meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAncient1

The last one is from Monsters Inc

August 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>